6 things that destroy a kids confidence

Confidence is the foundation for a child’s emotional and social growth. It teaches them to face challenges, take risks, and believe in their abilities. However, certain behaviours—most of which are unintended—can chip away at this vital quality. Here are 6 things that can unknowingly harm a child’s confidence and ways to avoid them.

Children thrive on encouragement, but continuous criticism can leave lasting emotional scars. Correcting mistakes is essential, but if the tone is harsh or overly frequent, it can make children question their worth.
Tip: Focus on constructive feedback. Instead of saying, “You’re always making a mess,” try, “Let’s figure out how to keep this tidy next time.”


Statements like, “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?” can deeply hurt a child. Comparisons make children feel inadequate and can create resentment toward the person they are compared to.
Tip: Celebrate your child’s unique strengths. Replace comparisons with personalized praise, like, “I love how creative your ideas are!”

While it’s natural to want to shield your child from failure or disappointment, overprotection can hinder their ability to tackle challenges. Children who aren’t allowed to make mistakes may grow up doubting their capabilities.
Tip: Allow them to solve small problems independently. Start with manageable tasks like packing their school bag or resolving minor conflicts with friends.


Failing to acknowledge a child’s efforts or successes, big or small, can make them feel undervalued. Over time, they may stop trying because they believe their efforts don’t matter.
Tip: Celebrate milestones, even minor ones. A simple “I’m proud of you for trying!” goes a long way in building their confidence.

Calling a child “lazy,” “shy,” or “clumsy” might seem harmless in the moment, but such labels can stick and shape their self-perception. Over time, they may internalize these words and start believing they define who they are.
Tip: Focus on behaviours, not traits. Instead of saying, “You’re so lazy,” try, “Let’s work on being more proactive with your tasks.”


Hovering over your child and controlling every aspect of their life can send the message that you don’t trust their abilities. This constant oversight can stifle their decision-making skills and make them doubt their judgment.
Tip: Give them space to make choices, even if it means they make mistakes. For example, let them decide what to wear or how to organize their schoolwork. Mistakes are great learning opportunities.