I know I had some weaknesses, but when the team needed me, I gave it oxygen: PR Sreejesh

Injury forces you to introspect. In 2017, PR Sreejesh had the world at his feet. Then came the injury. "The next day someone else took my place," PR Sreejesh tells us. "Even in the newspapers, you started to put someone else's picture. Everyone started to forget me. That day I realized, 'Okay, hockey is not your life. Hockey is part of your life'."
Sreejesh is a thinking man's sportsperson. Maybe it is to do with his unique position on the field. A persona forever in disguise - the hockey goalkeeper's elaborate armour and grilled helmet giving him that concealment - and watching the action before him, it probably gave him the most unique spot to think, about the game at hand, and the bigger game of life.

The double hockey Olympic bronze medallist, current coach of the junior National team and Director of Hockey, Delhi SG Pipers in the revived Hockey India League, was in TOI's Delhi office for an exclusive interaction that went on and on, and still felt so brief when it ended.
Because, in addition, when we found that he may have stowed away his hockey stick, he hadn't left his famous raconteuring skills behind, Sreejesh immediately became delightful company.
He saved his best for the last. Posing for photographs at the wall with TOI editions on momentous events, Sreejesh remarked, "Keep a place for the Olympic hockey gold, when I am the coach..."
Excerpts from a conversation...
Your turnaround time from player to coach was very short. Did it ever occur to you that you needed some time off?
That was my initial plan. I was thinking like taking a break for one or two years, then take to coaching. But it (coaching the juniors) was the demand of the time. What do you do when you go back home? Get comfortable! Currently, you're still in a routine… wake up in the morning, go for training, set up all the training, analyse the players. It is easy for me to continue now. See, going to an office is more comfortable for us because you know there will be work, but it's not physically demanding. At 4 o'clock, you are done, you're going back home. Last two decades, I was in the same routine, just train, train, train. Now, it's like, okay, chill out... no problem. Now there is no Yo-Yo test. Secondly, it's also the demand of the situation. There was no coach for the juniors. I thought, okay, it is the right time. I spoke with my family; I discussed with them. My wife said, 'Take me with you and then you can go anywhere'. I said, 'Okay, that's a deal'.
After playing for 20 years at the highest level, how difficult was it to call it a day?
It's all up to you. How you are setting up your mind. It's not an overnight decision. In your career, you get indications from different areas, and I started to get that in 2016. People will start talking about your age and co-relate it with your performance. When a 35-year-old makes mistakes in comparison with a 20-year-old, people start saying 'Oh Sree is getting older, that's why he is making mistakes.' Then people even in the team start talking. It's not the main factor, but being a player, I wanted to say goodbye from a platform when I was on top of my game. In 2023, we won gold at the Asian Games. After that, I checked it was only nine months for Paris. I said to myself, okay, it's worth trying because that's the greatest platform.
Do goalkeepers tend to introspect more?
Goalkeepers play a different game on the field than other. In an entire game, I may touch the ball for 10 times, but in that I may concede three goals or maybe, I may not touch the ball but concede two goals, which is not even my mistake. The goalkeepers have a mentality of taking the blame on themselves. Even if it's not my mistake, I feel bad that I conceded a goal. That hurts. That's why we say goalkeepers play a mental game on the field. Goalkeepers need to be mature, understand that it's a goal against the team, not you. The other 10 people are making mistakes, that's why the ball reached you. So, don't be harsh on yourself.
Why are there such few field goals?
With the introduction of all these latest software and technology, the opposition teams analyse really well. I tell my defenders be prepared to tackle tough. And then the players become fearless. The idea is not to concede a goal Even goalkeepers are becoming better now.

Has it taken away the game's flair?
The game grows in different ways. The speed has increased. After the rolling substitution, a player is playing maximum 35-37 minutes. Every player plays 6-9 minutes in a quarter. So, the speed is increasing, the technique is changing and that's why the game looks tougher.
What is the biggest change in hockey?
Fitness! That's the most important part. In the last two Olympics, we got medals because of higher fitness standards. You should be able to play with the same intensity from the first till the last. When the tempo goes down, you start to concede and that puts you under scoreline pressure. Second, it's the basic skills. If your basics are good, then your performance is higher. Third, it's about modern hockey. It's not about how long you hold the ball, it's about how efficient your passes are.
How do you compare your debut team of 2006 to the present team of 2024?
It's a tough question because every team lives in a different era. So, between 2006-2010 or the 90s, the individualistic and skilful players used to be pampered more. It wasn't about the team. It was not about one touch passes, but about skill. How beautifully you are holding the ball; how much you're running with it. Nowadays, if you do that, the opposition is going to kill you. They will not allow you to run with the ball or do all that dribbling. Teams are getting fitter. Dhanraj-bhai (Pillay) used to run like anything. Now we can't do that. The game is getting faster. Physically, players are getting stronger, and the better you can control the game. The equipment has changed, technology has changed.
As junior coach, where do you draw the line between data and instinct?
It's not about instinct or data. It's about your willpower. I'll give an example. Birendra Lakra, my roommate, my best friend, has a lower Yo-Yo test result than me. But can anybody dodge him on the field? No one. According to your data, is he eligible to play for the team? No! For cricketers, Yo-Yo result of 18-19 is top notch, but in hockey a score 19 means you are not fit. A 20 or 21 is borderline for us. Data is good for us only to make the players aware.
You captained India team twice, under whose captaincy did you enjoy the most?
Hockey is not cricket where captains make the decision. In hockey, whichever player has the ball, he's the captain. He makes the decisions. The captain's job basically is to manage the team off the field. A lot of conflicts happen, and they can impact the performance. We may not like each other but still we are playing for the same team, and we need to give our best. The captain's job is to keep the team together.
We have seen you instructing the defenders as well as the midfielders. What kind of instructions do you give?
It's a selfish mentality. I don't want the ball getting to me, that's why I make sure the defence is in the right place. On the field, goalkeepers take that role of a coach. You need to guide the team. You need to know when and what to instruct.
Has data eliminated camps in Indian hockey? No Punjab camp, Odisha camp?
There was no video recording or no GPS tracker then. People used to do whatever they wanted. But now it's visible, an open book. If something happens, then the coach will show the video in the team meeting, then you'll have to be answerable.
Hockey India League is making a return. How do you think it will change hockey?
The league will give a platform to perform and learn and express. Firstly, I am expecting around 5,000 to 10,000 people for every match in Rourkela. Almost 28 U-21 players are participating in the league. It will be a new experience for them, to play in front of a big crowd.
What really is the players' experience inside a hockey stadium?
There's a lot of shouting and abuse going on (laughs). In my first experience in 2006, the crowd and the goalpost was really close. We were playing Pakistan in the SAG final in Lanka and I mistakenly thought it was an Indian crowd. All Pakistan supporters, within two minutes, were abusing me. In 15 minutes, I was out, I just didn't know what to do. The same thing can happen with youngsters too, they are developing. Any negative comment can affect their performance. HIL can help them face the crowd. They get a platform where they can sit with and learn from a senior player.
You come from Kerala which is not a traditional hockey centre...
We do have a lot of hockey players, but they are not taking the sport seriously. I never chose hockey or thought about pursuing it professionally. I liked playing the game for five years, getting some grades to pass my 10th, 12th and then finishing my degrees in Physical Education. I planned to go to an international school abroad for a job and earn a salary of Rs 2-3 lakh. I never thought I'd reach this stage in my life. Things changed according to my journey.
When I started, the first target was getting into a stadium and achieving 60 marks. Later, my teacher said, 'Sree, if you win a medal at the Nationals, you'll get 90 marks. Then the same Sir told me, 'If you play internationally, you get 120 marks.' So, I started working hard to achieve that goal. Then, somebody told me, 'If you keep playing hockey like this, you'll get a good job'. I was like 'Why do I need to study when I can play hockey and get a job'? When I turned 18, I got a banking job. I was told that if I perform well at the international level, I'll get promotions which was a good incentive. Over the years, I performed well, winning medals at the 2014 CWG and Asian Games. Then you started thinking about playing in the Olympics and securing a medal there. That's when you become a real sportsperson and take the game seriously. Now, I have changed my job and joined the state govt's general education department. I am more than happy because even after my career is over, I can be involved with sports.
Once all this hockey part is over, one must look for financial security. IM Vijayan famously left Kerala Police on leave to go play professionally, but finally returned to join them again.
No, that won't happen. Seriously. Vijayan was one of the luckiest people. I know the whole story. What I'm saying is like you need to save your bread and butter first. The game is not your life. It's part of your life. I learned this lesson during my injury. Until 2017, I didn't know that I had a life beyond hockey. I was captain, the best player in the team. The day I got injured, someone else took my place the next day. I realised that hockey is not your life. Hockey is part of your life. You do have a family and people to take care of.
When you started, did the concept of injury ever occur to you?
Mentally, injury is part of game. You cannot predict it. The only thing that you can do is you can prevent it. You can work on your diet, do strength training or upgrade your fitness level. Before that injury, I never achieved anything. The two big medals (2020 Tokyo and 2024 Paris Olympics) came after that. I would only say I managed that injury period because of my job. It gave me a kind of financial security.
Do you meditate as well?
Meditation is not really my thing. I have started to read, mainly autobiographies. For me, that's a kind of meditation. I keep a target, like finishing 50 pages or 100 pages in one sitting. That's the time I feel like I am doing meditation.
Is there an autobiography or a biopic in the works?
Everything is happening but, at the same time nothing really is happening. An autobiography is on the way. As far as biopics go, an actor which comes to mind (to play me) is Tovino Thomas (Malayalam actor). He looks a lot like me.
How was the groupism in the team when made your debut in 2006? Did it make you feel like an outsider?
Yes, I did feel that divide. People judged you on your clothes and shoes. They never looked at your quality of play or why you were part of the team. That happened during the early stages of my career. I had a pair of pads which had a normal string to fasten, not Velcro straps. I would tie the pads with those strings, and people would come and say, 'Look at him'. I had only one basic jersey that time. The rest of them were normal T-shirts. So, people would say, 'Look, it's a sponsored jersey. It's old and torn.' It all mattered that time. A couple of times, I felt like quitting, I'm going back. It would happen in the national camps.
So, what made you stay on?
Rather than thinking about all that, I was like 'Are you getting training?' 'Yes'. 'Are you getting a place to sleep?' 'Yes'. 'Are you getting food?' 'Oh yes, very good'. What else do you want, so I continued.
What are your plans for the Delhi SG Pipers in the Hockey India League?
The basic thing I want my players to do is to enjoy this tournament rather than putting pressure on them to win. It's a learning for all of us because we are playing the HIL for the development of this game and SG Pipers aren't putting any pressure on us. I want to tell my players is to just enjoy the tournament.
How would you describe yourself as a goalkeeper?
If you ask me about good qualities, I don't know. But if you ask me what my bad qualities are, I can name 100. I'll give you five - some weak goals, I was sometimes vulnerable to penalty corners, sometimes I overran and other times I yelled a lot. I would also just slide a lot.
But when the team needed me, I saved the strokes. I gave the team oxygen, that's why they had me as a goalkeeper. I'll also tell you about one more bad quality of mine. I don't remember my best saves.
Do you miss Pakistan in hockey?
Yes. I miss them at the Asian level because of the viewership these games used to draw was something that can't be matched. I played several matches against them. It used to be an emotional war on the field. It wasn't just about hockey. It was something else. There's always this media, venue, match, fans and federation pressure. But now all that has changed. Now it's like just another Pakistan team. We beat them 10-2 at the Asian Games last year. Somewhere, I do miss that good quality match against Pakistan.
What is more memorable for you - your first match for India or the last match in national colours?
That's a tricky question. I think the Asian Champions Trophy match against Pakistan in 2011 was the most memorable one. It was a thrilling finish. I think that was the first time India recognised my face as a goalkeeper even though I played the 2010 World Cup as well. I think, as an individual, that's something more special than these two matches. But as a player, the last match was different. Equally, the first match had an emotional connection because I spent almost an hour in front of the mirror in the bathroom after receiving my first India jersey. I made me realise that I have become an international player now. In the same way, I spent almost 15-20 minutes sitting atop the goalpost at the Paris Olympics to come to terms with the feeling that this was my last match. It more emotional than my first match.
Do you have your photo of sitting atop the goalpost at the Tokyo Olympics at home somewhere?
I want to take all these pictures off my wall. My era is done now, so I am just giving space to my kids. And this is what has happened. At home, I hang all my international medals at a special place. When my daughter won her first bronze in kindergarten, she took off my Asian Games medal and hung hers there. When my son got some medals, he also decided to hang it there on the wall removing some of my medals. So, I thought, let's give them this space. But I want to keep some of the pictures from my playing days, like when the team members bowed down before the goalpost with me standing in the front. And the top of the goalpost one.