How to organise a budget funeral
When someone dies, you may not have the time or emotional headspace to organise the perfect funeral for them, especially if timeframes are short. Often it can feel like the only option is to spend hundreds if not thousands of pounds on the standard list of funeral "must-haves".
But saving money on a funeral may be simpler than you think. We spoke to Marie Curie Hospice Chaplains Katy, Ruth and Carol for some ideas for keeping down costs while still giving your loved one the send-off that feels right.
Shop around
This may be the last thing you feel like doing when you're dealing with the grief of losing someone you care about. But if a family member or friend could help by making a few phone calls, it could save you a good deal of money.
"The bottom line is that funerals are big business, and the aim is to make a profit," says Reverend Katy Francis, Chaplain and Spiritual Care Lead at the Marie Curie Hospice, Newcastle. "But, there are many wonderful professionals working in the industry who will do their best to help you. Shop around for funeral directors as prices can vary a lot and some may be more expensive than others."
Read more on choosing a funeral director
"Be wary of celebrants fees, too. You don't have to settle for the first celebrant you meet – if you don't like them find someone else. Ministers and vicars can make services very personal as well and might be cheaper than a celebrant. Don't be afraid to ask questions up front."
Ask family and friends to help with the details
If you're lucky enough to have a network of people with different skills and resources, don't be afraid to ask for help. Perhaps you know someone with green fingers who could supply flowers or greenery from their garden, or a keen baker who could supply some sweet or savoury food for the wake?
I designed the order of service for my grandma's funeral. It can be a lot cheaper to print yourself or at a local high street printer then going through a service, and there are of templates online if you aren't a designer like me.
"Anything the funeral directors offer – orders of service, books of remembrance, cards to write on, packets of seeds, something to help scatter the ashes afterwards etc will all be charged for over and above the basic cost, and the charges can sometimes be extortionate," explains Katy.
"You can almost always do things like this more cheaply yourself. You can find many of these things such as books of remembrance on Amazon for a fraction of the price."
Read a checklist of costs you'll need to consider when planning a funeral
Avoid special vehicles
The cavalcade of black, shiny cars processing down the street that we see on TV is definitely not something you need in order to have a meaningful send-off for someone.
"I often tell people that they don't need to hire funeral cars, and that a taxi or their own car is okay," says Ruth Pryce, Chaplain at the Marie Curie Hospice, Liverpool.
"You could use Uber instead of a funeral car," suggests Carol Telfer, Chaplain at the Marie Curie Hospice, Glasgow, "But ask for one that would be in keeping with a funeral cortege."
Save on fresh flowers by adding personal touches in different ways
Funeral flowers can be expensive, and there are lots of other ways to add a personal touch, as Carol explains.
"Instead of fresh flowers, place something on or beside the coffin that is related to the person. I was at a funeral recently where we had two teddies that the woman had knitted. You could also have the person's favourite flower, but just one for each family member, either tied in a ribbon (which can be done by the family) or simply laid on the coffin."
"Just having a picture of someone in a frame on the coffin makes the whole thing more personal," adds Katy. "At one funeral I did, there were artistically arranged baskets of veg instead of flowers, as this person had an allotment. At another service, everyone was given Haribo at the end as this was the persons favourite sweets. Giving out packets of flower seeds is always a nice touch."
If you are having fresh flowers, Katy has a couple of extra tips. "Always use your own florist and don't buy them through the funeral director, as this can save you a lot of cash. Supermarket bouquets tied with some ribbon or raffia string can look lovely."
At my mum's funeral, we had two tables full of photos and knitting that she'd done, her Beatles records, Mr Kipling's French Fancies which she loved... anything that reminded us of Mum. It was lovely (and free!)
You don't have to have a formal wake
This aspect of a funeral – especially the catering – can be where the costs really rack up. There can be pressure to spend a lot, but remember what people most want from the wake is a chance to get together, to chat and remember the person.
One way to keep costs down is to do something small. "Maybe just go out with family for a meal, or have a gathering in someone's house for light buffet," suggests Ruth.
If you're doing something bigger, there are ways to keep spending lower.
"Hiring a church hall or community hall, or using a room in a local pub, might be cheaper than a restaurant or hotel," says Katie, and Carol adds: "Sometimes churches will be happy to receive a donation for the use of their hall rather than a fixed price, so you can donate whatever you can afford."
"You could make the food yourself, ask everyone to bring something, or do a selection of cakes, tea and coffee rather than full buffet," suggests Katie. Carol adds: "Many supermarkets do sandwich platters which can be reasonably priced."
Don't be afraid to think outside the box, either.
Katy says: "At one funeral I went to, there were small picnic bags made up for everyone with sandwiches, crisps and chocolate bars, and we were told to bring blankets or folding chairs, our own drinks and to come to the beach afterwards. Everyone sat around reminiscing – it was lovely."
