INFP PERSONALITY (THE MEDIATOR)

INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint
of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for
ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as
calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and
passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the
population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately
high for the INFP personality type - but when they find likeminded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel
will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.
Being a part of the Diplomat (NF) personality group, INFPs are
guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts),
excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When
deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty,
morality and virtue - INFPs are led by the purity of their intent,
not rewards and punishments. People who share the INFP
personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not
everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it
can lead to isolation.
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are
lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not
reached by the frost.
J. R. R. Tolkien
WE KNOW WHAT WE ARE, BUT KNOW NOT WHAT WE
MAY BE
At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate
deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables,
and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas.
The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself
well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many
famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors. Understanding
themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs,
and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into
their work.
INFPs have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty
and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.

INFPs ability with language doesnt stop with their native

tongue, either - as with most people who share the Diplomat
personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to
learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for
communication also lends itself well to INFPs desire for
harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to
move forward as they find their calling.
LISTEN TO MANY PEOPLE, BUT TALK TO FEW
Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, INFPs will focus their
attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause - spread
too thinly, theyll run out of energy, and even become dejected
and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they cant fix.
This is a sad sight for INFPs friends, who will come to depend
on their rosy outlook.
If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest
for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands.
INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the
hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other
personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch,
withdrawing into "hermit mode", and it can take a great deal of
energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the
real world.
Luckily, like the flowers in spring, INFPs affection, creativity,
altruism and idealism will always come back, rewarding them
and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with
a world view that inspires compassion, kindness and beauty
wherever they go.

INFP STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

INFP STRENGTHS
Idealistic - INFPs' friends and loved ones will come to
admire and depend on them for their optimism. Their
unshaken belief that all people are inherently good,
perhaps simply misunderstood, lends itself to an incredibly
resilient attitude in the face of hardship.
Seek and Value Harmony - People with the INFP
personality type have no interest in having power over
others, and don't much care for domineering attitudes at
all. They prefer a more democratic approach, and work
hard to ensure that every voice and perspective is heard.
Open-Minded and Flexible - A live-and-let-live attitude
comes naturally to INFPs, and they dislike being
constrained by rules. INFPs give the benefit of the doubt
too, and so long as their principles and ideas are not being
challenged, they'll support others' right to do what they
think is right.
Very Creative - INFPs combine their intuitive nature with
their open-mindedness to allow them to see things from
unconventional perspectives. Being able to connect many
far-flung dots into a single theme, it's no wonder that
many INFPs are celebrated poets and authors.
Passionate and Energetic - When something captures
INFPs' imagination and speaks to their beliefs, they go all
in, dedicating their time, energy, thoughts and emotions
to the project. Their shyness keeps them from the podium,

but they are the first to lend a helping hand where it's
needed.
Dedicated and Hard-Working - While others focusing
on the challenges of the moment may give up when the
going gets tough, INFPs (especially Assertive ones) have
the benefit of their far-reaching vision to help them
through. Knowing that what they are doing is meaningful
gives people with this personality type a sense of purpose
and even courage when it comes to accomplishing
something they believe in.
INFP WEAKNESSES
Too Idealistic - INFPs often take their idealism too far,
setting themselves up for disappointment as, again and
again, evil things happen in the world. This is true on a
personal level too, as INFPs may not just idealize their
partners, but idolize them, forgetting that no one is
perfect.
Too Altruistic - INFPs sometimes see themselves as
selfish, but only because they want to give so much more
than they are able to. This becomes a self-fulfilling
prophecy, as they try to push themselves to commit to a
chosen cause or person, forgetting to take care of the
needs of others in their lives, and especially themselves.
Impractical When
something
captures
INFPs'
imagination, they can neglect practical matters like dayto-day maintenance and simple pleasures. Sometimes
people with the INFP personality type will take this
asceticism so far as to neglect eating and drinking as they
pursue their passion or cause.
Dislike Dealing With Data - INFPs are often so focused
on the big picture that they forget the forest is made of
individual trees. INFPs are in tune with emotions and
morality, and when the facts and data contradict their
ideals, it can be a real challenge for them.
Take Things Personally - INFPs often take challenges
and criticisms personally, rather than as inspiration to

reassess their positions. Avoiding conflict as much as

possible, INFPs will put a great deal of time and energy
into trying to align their principles and the criticisms into a
middle ground that satisfies everybody.
Difficult to Get to Know - INFPs are private, reserved
and self-conscious. This makes them notoriously difficult to
really get to know, and their need for these qualities
contributes to the guilt they often feel for not giving more
of themselves to those they care about.

INFP RELATIONSHIPS
INFPs are dreamy idealists, and in the pursuit of the perfect
relationship, this quality shows strongest. Never short on
imagination, INFPs dream of the perfect relationship, forming
an image of this pedestalled ideal that is their soul mate,
playing and replaying scenarios in their heads of how things will
be. This is a role that no person can hope to fill, and people
with the INFP personality type need to recognize that nobody's
perfect, and that relationships don't just magically fall into
place - they take compromise, understanding and effort.

LOVE ALL, TRUST A FEW, DO WRONG TO NONE

Fortunately these are qualities that INFPs are known for, and
while it can be a challenge to separate long-fostered fantasy
from reality, INFPs' tendency to focus their attention on just a
few people in their lives means that they will approach new
relationships wholeheartedly, with a sense of inherent value,
dedication and trust.
INFPs share a sincere belief in the idea of relationships - that
two people can come together and make each other better and
happier than they were alone, and they will take great efforts to
show support and affection in order to make this ideal a reality.
But INFPs aren't necessarily in a rush to commit - they are, after
all, Prospecting (P) types, and are almost always looking to
either establish a new relationship or improve an existing one they need to be sure they've found someone compatible. In
dating, INFPs will often start with a flurry of comparisons,
exploring all the ways the current flame matches with the ideal
they've imagined. This progression can be a challenge for a
new partner, as not everyone is able to keep up with INFPs' rich
imagination and moral standards - if incompatibilities and
conflict over this initial rush mount, the relationship can end
quickly, with INFPs likely sighing that "it wasn't meant to be."
As a relationship takes hold, people with the INFP personality
type will show themselves to be passionate, hopeless
romantics, while still respecting their partners' independence.
INFPs take the time to understand those they care about, while
at the same time helping them to learn, grow and change.
While INFPs are well-meaning, not everyone appreciates what
can come across as constantly being told that they need to
improve - or, put another way, that they're not good enough.
INFPs would be aghast to find that their intents were
interpreted this way, but it's a real risk, and if their partner is as
averse to conflict as INFPs themselves, it can boil under the
surface for some time before surfacing, too late to fix.
BETTER THREE HOURS TOO SOON THAN A MINUTE TOO LATE

This aversion to conflict, while contributing greatly to stability

in the relationship when done right, is probably the most urgent
quality for INFPs to work on. Between their sensitivity and
imagination, INFPs are prone to internalizing even objective
statements and facts, reading into them themes and
exaggerated consequences, sometimes responding as though
these comments are metaphors designed to threaten the very
foundations of their principles. Naturally this is almost certainly
an overreaction, and INFPs should practice what they preach,
and focus on improving their ability to respond to criticism with
calm objectivity, rather than irrational accusations and
weaponized guilt.
But that's at their uncommon worst - at their best, INFPs do
everything they can to be the ideal partner, staying true to
themselves and encouraging their partners to do the same.
INFPs take their time in becoming physically intimate so that
they can get to know their partners, using their creativity to
understand their wants and needs, and adapt to them. People
with this personality type are generous in their affection, with a
clear preference for putting the pleasure of their partners first it is in knowing that their partners are satisfied that INFPs truly
feel the most pleasure.

INFP FRIENDS
The true friends of people with the INFP personality type tend to be
few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends
for life. The challenge is the many dualities that this type harbours
when it comes to being sociable - INFPs crave the depth of mutual
human understanding, but tire easily in social situations; they are
excellent at reading into others' feelings and motivations, but are
often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves it's as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the
reality of social contact.
HOW POOR ARE THEY THAT HAVE NOT PATIENCE
In a lot of ways, this limits the potential pool of friends to other
Diplomat (NF) types, who are able to pick up on the subtle clues left
by their INFP friends, and who are more likely than not to enjoy
something of a human enigma. A friendship with an ESTJ on the
other hand, governed by social conventions and community
participation as they are, would almost be a non-sequitur - though
INFPs may find the idea of being paired with their opposite
fascinating enough to outweigh the practical challenges to such a
friendship.
To top it all off, ideas like networking and "the friend of my friend is
my friend" hold little weight with INFPs. Friendships are earned on
their own merit, by dint of the intuitive respect INFPs have for those
with similar principles and values, rather than more practical
alignments like those of coworkers. INFPs' tendency to protect their
sensitive inner cores and values from criticism, especially if they are
on the more turbulent side of the spectrum, means that
acquaintances will likely get nowhere near them without sustained
and tactful effort.
But, if INFPs' shields are properly navigated and they decide to open
up and trust another person, a strong, stable friendship will ensue,
marked by passionate support and idealism, subtle poetic wit, and a
level of emotional insight that is hard to match. INFPs' friends will be
rewarded with calm, sensitivity and depth, and an ever-present

desire to help, learn, and grow. But even the most confident and
assertive INFPs will only be able to keep up this relaxed and present
exterior for so long.
Even as friendships grow stronger and deeper, and friends are lulled
into a sense of mutual understanding, INFPs' enigmatic qualities will
never truly vanish.
INFPs will always need to disappear for a while, removing
themselves from others so they can re-center on their own minds
and feelings. Often enough people with the INFP personality type will
emerge from this time alone having come to some momentous
decision that even their closest friends didn't know was weighing on
them, evading even the option of receiving the sort of support and
advice they so readily give. Such is INFPs' way, for better or for
worse.

INFP PARENTS
People who share the INFP personality type share a tendency to not
only strive to learn and grow as principled, moral individuals, but to
bring likeminded people on that journey with them. In their own
subtle, often shy way, INFPs want to lead others forward, as kindred
spirits - they will find no greater opportunity for this than in
parenthood.
From the start, INFP parents are warm, loving and supportive, and
take immeasurable joy in the wide-eyed wonder of their children as
they explore, learn, and grow. People with the INFP personality type
will give their children the freedom they need to do this, keeping an
open mind and letting their children gain their own sense of
understanding. At the same time, INFP parents will try to provide a
backdrop to this freedom and experience, establishing a set of
morals and values that guide that liberty with a sense of personal
responsibility.
INFPs never stop encouraging their children to learn and grow, and
they consider it their duty to inspire and motivate them, both by
using their sensitivity and intuition to speak in their children's
language and by leading the way themselves.
However, this sense of responsibility has a harder side - if their
children fall foul of their INFP parents' values, it will not be taken

lightly. People with the INFP personality type take their

responsibilities in parenthood seriously, and in this measure above
all others.
In some ways, INFPs' tendency to hide their inner selves from view
can be an advantage in parenting, as they are able to portray
themselves as good role models on the outside, shielding their loved
ones not just from their own occasional anger and depression, but
from the broader evils in the world as well. This helps INFPs to
demonstrate outwardly the moral lessons they want their children to
adopt, and at the same time to establish a sense of harmony in the
household.
MODEST DOUBT IS CALLED THE BEACON OF THE WISE
The biggest challenge for INFP parents, especially more turbulent
types who often have even more trouble with self-doubt than most,
is to establish more practical and day-to-day structures and rules.
INFPs may be able to convey the abstract value of honesty with
remarkable skill, but it's not always easy to equate that idea with
the practical reality of their children being home from the movies
when they said they were going to be, and it's especially challenging
when these misunderstandings result in conflict. In these situations,
INFP personalities do best with a partner who is able to play a
stronger hand in more administrative tasks than they can, so they
can focus on the underlying spirit of those rules.

INFP CAREERS
It is perhaps more challenging for INFPs to find a satisfying
career than any other type. Though intelligent, the regimented
learning style of most schools makes long years earning an
advanced degree a formidable undertaking for people with the
INFP personality type - at the same time, that's often what's
needed to advance in a field that rings true for them. INFPs
often wish that they could just be, doing what they love without
the stress and rigor of professional life.
Oftentimes, as with so many things, the answer lies somewhere
in the middle, in a line of work that begins with passion and
dedication, but which comes to require training so that the
academia feels intimately linked to that passion. Too many

INFPs drift in frustration, ultimately succumbing to the

necessities of day-to-day life in a job that wasn't meant for
them. But it turns out that, despite such exacting demands,
modern economics places a premium on the very keys to INFPs'
challenges: their creativity, independence, and need for
meaningful relationships with individuals who need their help.
THERE'S PLACE AND MEANS FOR EVERYONE
First and foremost is seemingly every INFPs' dream growing up
- to become an author. While a novel is a classic choice, it is
rarely an accessible one, and there are many viable options for
freedom-loving INFPs. The internet brings to the world the
opportunities of blogging and freelance work - as organizations
expand their reach beyond their native tongues, they will come
to depend on INFP personality types, with their gift for language
and written expression, to take their rougher translations and
stale pitches and inject them with a sense of beauty and poetry.
Smaller organizations will need more than ever to express with
elegance the value they bring to local communities.
Most any cause, idea, or field can benefit from the artful and
natural expression that INFPs bring to the table, and INFPs have
their pick of the world in choosing who they work with.
The real beauty here is that it takes a core interest that people
with the INFP personality type share, while helping a cause they
believe in, independently, through creative expression and
personal growth, and makes it applicable to any interest there
is. There will always be a need, and now more than ever, to win
people's hearts and minds with the written word.
Some INFPs will prefer a still more personal touch, being able to
work face-to-face with clients, seeing that their personal effort
really impacts another's quality of life. Service careers such as
massage therapy, physical rehabilitation, counselling, social
work, psychology and even academic roles and retraining can
be exceptionally rewarding for INFPs, who take pride in the
progress and growth they help to foster. People with the INFP
personality type have a tendency to put others' interests ahead
of their own, a mixed blessing by itself, but when a patient

takes their first unaided step in the long road to recovery after
an accident, nothing will feel more rewarding than that
selflessness.
IF TO DO WERE AS EASY AS TO KNOW WHAT WERE GOOD TO
DO...
Where INFPs will not thrive is in a high-stress, team-heavy, busy
environment that burdens them with bureaucracy and tedium.
INFPs need to be able to work with creativity and consideration
- high-pressure salespeople they are not. It can be a challenge
to avoid these roles, as they are the basis for so much starting
work, and it's often a risk to break away into something less
dependable, but more rewarding. To find a career that
resonates with INFPs' values though, that's more than just a
job, sometimes it's just what needs to be done.

INFP IN THE WORKPLACE

In the workplace, INFPs face the challenge of taking their work
and their profession personally. To INFPs, if it isn't worth doing,
it isn't really worth doing, and this sense of moral purpose in
their work colors everything from how they respond to authority
to how they express it. Though the way the INFP personality
type shows through depends on the position, there are a few
basic truths about what INFPs seek in the workplace: they value
harmony, need an emotional and moral connection to their
work, and loathe bureaucratic tedium.
INFP SUBORDINATES
As subordinates, INFPs prefer latitude, and would much rather
immerse themselves in a project, alone or with a close team,
than simply be told what task to do and move on. People with
the INFP personality type aren't looking for easy, forgettable
work that pays the bills, they're looking for meaningful work
that they actually want to think about, and it helps for their
managers to frame responsibilities in terms of emotional merit
rather than cold rationalization or business for its own sake.
INFPs would rather know that their work will help to deliver a
service they believe in than to know that the bottom line has
been boosted by 3%.
If these standards are met, managers will find an extremely
dedicated and considerate employee in INFPs. As idealistic
opportunity-seekers INFPs may not always work well in
technical applications, where the facts and logic really matter
and critique is often necessary, but they work beautifully in
more human and creative endeavors. While some types,
especially Analysts (NT), respond favorably to negative
feedback, taking criticism as an opportunity to not make the
same mistake twice, people with the INFP personality type
would much rather hear what they did right and focus on what
to do, rather than what not to.
INFP COLLEAGUES

INFPs feel most comfortable among colleagues - they aren't

interested in controlling others, and have a similar distaste for
being controlled. Among their colleagues, INFPs will feel freer to
share their ideas, and while they may maintain some
psychological distance, they will make every effort to be
pleasant, friendly and supportive - so long as their coworkers
reciprocate. INFPs don't like conflict or picking sides, and will do
everything they can to maintain harmony and cooperation.
Most of this comes down to good communication, which INFPs
prefer to conduct in person, for that personal touch, or in
writing, where they can compose and perfect their statements.
People with the INFP personality type avoid using phones if
they can, having the worst of both worlds, being both detached
and uncomposed. INFPs also like to feel like their conversations
are meaningful, and while they enjoy exploring philosophy
more than most, their patience for arbitrary hypothetical
brainstorming or dense technical discussions is limited.
INFP MANAGERS
As managers, INFPs are among the least likely to seem like
managers - their egalitarian attitudes lend respect to every
subordinate, preferring communication as human beings than
as a boss/employee opposition. People with the INFP
personality type are flexible, open-minded and give their
subordinates the tools they need, be they responsible
delegation or an intuitive and receptive sounding board, to get
the job done. Keeping their eyes on the horizon, INFPs set goals
that achieve a desirable end, and help the people working
under them to make that happen.
There is a downside to this style, as sometimes the boss just
needs to be the boss. INFPs know how they feel about criticism,
and are reluctant to subject others to that same experience,
whether it's needed or even welcome. Further complicating this
role, when INFPs are under stress, as when someone really does
warrant criticism, they can become extremely emotional - they
may not show it, but it can affect their judgment, or even cause

them to withdraw inwards, in ways that can really hold back

their team.

CONCLUSION
Few personality types are as poetic and kind-hearted as INFPs.
Their altruism and vivid imagination allow INFPs to overcome
many challenging obstacles, more often than not brightening
the lives of those around them. INFPs' creativity is invaluable in
many areas, including their own personal growth.
Yet INFPs can be easily tripped up in areas where idealism and
altruism are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is
finding (or keeping) a partner, making friends, reaching
dazzling heights on the career ladder or planning for the future,
INFPs need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker
traits and additional skills.
What you have read so far is just an introduction into the
complex concept that is the INFP personality type. You may
have muttered to yourself, "wow, this is so accurate it's a little
creepy" or "finally, someone understands me!" You may have
even asked "how do they know more about me than the people
I'm closest to?"
This is not a trick. You felt understood because you were. We've
studied how INFPs think and what they need to reach their full
potential. And no, we did not spy on you many of the

challenges you've faced and will face in the future have been
overcome by other INFPs. You simply need to learn how they
succeeded.
But in order to do that, you need to have a plan, a personal
roadmap. The best car in the world will not take you to the right
place if you do not know where you want to go. We have told
you how INFPs tend to behave in certain circumstances and
what their key strengths and weaknesses are. Now we need to
go much deeper into your personality type and answer "why?",
"how?" and "what if?"
This knowledge is only the beginning of a lifelong journey. Are
you ready to learn why INFPs act in the way they do? What
motivates and inspires you? What you are afraid of and what
you secretly dream about? How you can unlock your true,
exceptional potential?
Our premium profiles provide a roadmap towards a happier,
more successful, and more versatile YOU! They are not for
everyone though - you need to be willing and able to challenge
yourself, to go beyond the obvious, to imagine and follow your
own path instead of just going with the flow. If you want to take
the reins into your own hands, we are here to help you.

PREMIUM PROFILES
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY...
...you do not mind being alone, but social situations
exhaust you?
...other people find it difficult to share your idealism?
...your insights and big ideas are often misunderstood?
...you often get hurt and then blame yourself for being too
kind?
...you dislike planning and have an innate desire for
freedom?

 ...you are not quite sure how to reach your full potential in
a world that does not always value your enthusiasm and
kindness?
...your friends sometimes say they find it difficult to
decipher your thoughts?
...you often try to achieve unrealistic goals and then feel
bad when you fail?
...you tend to be self-conscious and anxious in some
situations?
...you seem to have an unsettling dark side that only
comes out in rare circumstances?