EDUEgypt Program Communication Skills Participants Guide

Ministry of Communications and Information Technology Information Technology Institute

Table of Contents Introduction ................................................................................................................................... 2 Methodology .................................................................................................................................. 2 Overall Course Objectives ........................................................................................................... 3 1. Introduction to Communication Skills ................................................................................... 4
1.1 What is Communication .................................................................................................................... 4 1.2 Why do we need to communicate? .................................................................................................... 6 1.3 Communication Skills Process .......................................................................................................... 7 1.4 Distortions in Communication ......................................................................................................... 10 1.5 Types of Noise ................................................................................................................................. 11 1.6 Communication Barriers .................................................................................................................. 13 1.7 Overcoming Communication Barriers ............................................................................................. 15

2. Personal Communication Profile .......................................................................................... 16 3. Communicating with yourself"Private Victory ................................................................... 17

3.1 Circle of Influence/Circle of Concern Concept ............................................................................... 17 3.2 Proactive VS Reactive People ......................................................................................................... 19 3.3 The JOHARI Window ..................................................................................................................... 22 3.3.1 JOHARI Window Questionnaire .................................................................................................. 25 3.3.2 JOHARI Window Scoring ............................................................................................................ 30 3.4 SWOT Analysis ............................................................................................................................... 32 3.5 Personal Planning ............................................................................................................................ 36

4. Perception ................................................................................................................................ 38 4.1 Self-confidence: ...................................................................................................................... 40

4.1.1 Some Tips for Improving Self-Confidence................................................................................... 43 4.2. Perception in Communication......................................................................................................... 46

5. Communicating with Others.................................................................................................. 47

5.1 Types of Communication................................................................................................................. 47 5.2 Listening .......................................................................................................................................... 56

6. Communication Styles ............................................................................................................ 59 7. Body Language........................................................................................................................ 71

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Introduction
''The deepest hunger of the human heart is to be understood''
Steven R. Covey

Communication is a process in which people are able to transfer meaning among them. The communication process allows people to share information, ideas, and feelings. This is the transfer of meaning. Where no meaning is transferred, no communication has taken place. "We all use language to communicate, to express ourselves, to get our ideas across, and to connect with the person to whom we are speaking. When a relationship is working, the act of communicating seems to flow relatively effortlessly. When a relationship is deteriorating, the act of communicating can be as frustrating as climbing a hill of sand."

Every individual needs to be well equipped with the tools to communicate effectively, whether it is on the personal level, or at work. In fact, according to the management gurus, being a good communicator is half the battle won. After all, if one speaks and listens well, then there is little or no scope for misunderstanding. Thus, keeping this fact in mind, the primary reasons for misunderstanding is due to inability to speak well, or listen effectively.

Communication skills are generally understood to be the art or technique of persuasion through the use of oral language and written language.

This Manual is designed & tailored for the purpose of enlightening its readers with the basic pillars of communication skills: how to communicate with themselves & how to interact with other people in a healthy way. It aims at enhancing & sharpening these skills to qualify them as professional candidates for the sector of BPO.

Methodology
This module is designed to be a Blended based training. It ensures the participation of all trainees along with the instructors professional input. All activities included in this module require certain materials as stated below: 2 Communication Skills Participant's Guide | EDUEgypt Program

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Well-equipped laboratory with a sufficient number of seats Sticky Notes Flip charts A4 sheets Speakers

This module is divided into several sections. Each section tackles different aspect of communication skills.

Overall Course Objectives:

By the end of this Communication skills module, you would be able to: Identify The Concept Of Communication Skills Detect the several barriers to good communication Communicate with yourself & others in a productive way Demonstrate a full understanding of different Body Language Movements

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1. Introduction to Communication Skills

1.1 What is Communication

Talking Pictures
Everything around communicate with us in one way or another. Have a look at the pictures below. What is the possible meaning behind every picture?

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Communication is a process that happens all the time around us in a continuous pattern. We communicate with little kids using non-verbal signs. We communicate with our bodies by working out. Those pictures communicate certain meanings to us when we see them. ? How did you feel when you saw the first picture? What about the second one? Did you feel hungry when you saw the picture with the cake? Effective communication is all about conveying your messages to other people clearly and unambiguously. It's also about receiving information that others are sending to you, with as little distortion as possible. Doing this involves effort from both the sender of the message and the receiver. And it's a process that can be fraught with error, with messages muddled by the sender, or misinterpreted by the recipient. When this isn't detected, it can cause tremendous confusion, wasted effort and missed opportunity. By successfully getting your message across, you convey your thoughts and ideas effectively. When not successful, the thoughts and ideas that you actually send do not necessarily reflect what you think, causing a communication breakdown and creating roadblocks that stand in the way of your goals both personally and professionally. In a recent survey of recruiters from companies with more than 50,000 employees, communication skills were cited as the single most important decisive factor in choosing managers. The survey, conducted by the University of Pittsburghs Katz Business School, points out that communication skills, including written and oral presentations, as well as an ability to work with others, are the main factor contributing to job success. In spite of the increasing importance placed on communication skills, many individuals continue to struggle, unable to communicate their thoughts and ideas effectively whether in verbal or written format. This inability makes it nearly impossible for them to compete effectively in the workplace, and stands in the way of career progression. The following chart shows how communication is important to succeed in the professional life:

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Being able to communicate effectively is therefore essential if you want to build a successful career. To do this, you must understand what your message is. In fact, communication is only successful when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information as a result of the communication. Being able to communicate effectively is therefore essential if you want to build a successful career. To do this, you must understand what your message is, what audience you are sending it to, and how it will be perceived.

1.2 Why do we need to communicate?

Functions of Communication Control Formal and informal communications act to control individuals behaviors in organizations.

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Motivation Communication fosters motivation by clarifying to employees what is to be done, how well they are doing, and what can be done to improve performance. The formation of specific goals, feedback on progress toward the goals and reinforcement of desired behavior all stimulate motivation and require communication.

Emotional Expression Social interaction in the form of work group communications provides a way for employees to express themselves.

Information Individuals and work groups need information to make decisions or to do their work. The final function that communication performs relates to its role in facilitating decision making. It provides the information that individuals and groups need to make decisions by transmitting the data to identify and evaluate alternative choices.

1.3 Communication Skills Process

Communication is a TWO way process in which we have 2 parties: a sender with a message, and a receiver to which this message should be transmitted.

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To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your goal should be to lessen the frequency of problems at each stage of this process, with clear, concise, accurate, well-planned communications. We follow the process as illustrated below:

Source... As the source of the message, you need to be clear about why youare communicating, and what you want to communicate. You also need to be confident that the information youare communicating is useful and accurate. Message... The message is the information that you want to communicate. Encoding... This is the process of transferring the information you want to communicate into a form that can be sent and correctly decoded at the other end. Your success in encoding depends partly on your ability to convey information clearly and simply, but also on your ability to anticipate and eliminate sources of confusion (for example, cultural issues, mistaken assumptions, and missing information.)
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A key part of this is to know your audience; failure to understand who you are communicating with will result in delivering messages that are misunderstood. Channel... Messages are conveyed through channels, with verbal channels including face-to-face meetings, telephone and videoconferencing, and written channels including letters, emails, memos and reports. Different channels have different strengths and weaknesses. For example, it's not particularly effective to give a long list of directions verbally, while you will quickly cause problems if you give someone negative feedback using email. Decoding... Just as successful encoding is a skill, so is successful decoding (involving, for example, taking the time to read a message carefully, or listen actively to it.) Just as confusion can arise from errors in encoding, it can also arise from decoding errors. This is particularly the case if the decoder doesn't have enough knowledge to understand the message. Receiver... Your message is delivered to individual members of your audience. No doubt, you have in mind the actions or reactions you hope your message will get from this audience. Keep in mind, though, that each of these individuals enters into the communication process with ideas and feelings that will undoubtedly influence their understanding of your message, and their response. To be a successful communicator, you should consider these before delivering your message, and act appropriately.

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Feedback... Your audience will provide you with feedback, as verbal and nonverbal reactions to your communicated message. Pay close attention to this feedback as it is the only thing that can give you confidence that your audience has understood your message. If you find that there has been a misunderstanding, at least you have the opportunity to send the message a second time. Context... The situation in which your message is delivered is the context. This may include the surrounding environment or broader culture (corporate culture, international cultures, and so on).

1.4 Distortions in Communication

Message Encoding The effect of the skills, attitudes, and knowledge of the sender on the process of encoding the message The social-cultural system of the sender The Message Symbols used to convey the messages meaning The content of the message itself The choice of message format Noise interfering with the message The Channel The senders choice of the appropriate channel or multiple channels for conveying the message
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Receiver The effect of skills, attitudes, and knowledge of the receiver on the process of decoding the message The social-cultural system of the receiver Feedback Loop Communication channel distortions affecting the return message from receiver to sender.

1.5 Types of noise

Communication noise refers to influences on effective communication that affect the interpretation of conversations. While often looked over, communication noise can have a profound impact both on our perception of interactions with others and our analysis of our own communication proficiency. A broad look on the forms of communication noise would include psychological noise, physical noise, and linguistic noise. All these forms of noise subtly, yet greatly influence our communication with others and are vitally important to anyones skills as a competent communicator.

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Noise
Psychological Physical Linguistic

1. Psychological: Psychological noise results from preconceived notions we bring to conversations, such as racial stereotypes, reputations, biases, and assumptions. When we come into a conversation with ideas about what the other person is going to say and why, we can easily become blinded to their original message. Most of the time psychological noise is impossible to free ourselves from, and we must simply strive to recognize that it exists and take those distractions into account when we converse with others. 2. Physical: Physical noise is any external or environmental stimulus that distracts us from receiving the intended message sent by a communicator. Examples of physical noise include: others talking in the background, background music, a startling noise and acknowledging someone outside of the conversation.

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3. Linguistic/Semantic: This is noise caused by the sender. i.e, the encoder. This type of noise occurs when grammar or technical language is used that the receiver (the decoder) cannot understand, or cannot understand clearly.

1.6 Communication Barriers

Barriers are different from Noises. Barriers are the factors that obstruct any communication process to be established, while noises are the things that intervene within the communication process & stops it from being resumed. Types of Barriers: Physical: One of the most important factors in building cohesive teams is proximity. Recent researches show that Nearness can help people to communicate better in a healthy way. Examples of Physical barriers which obstruct communication between coworkers or colleagues are the closed office doors & separate work areas for different statuses. Emotional: It is a chief barrier to open & free communication. Its mainly comprised of fear, mistrust & suspicion. The roots of these fears lie in our childhood when we were told to be cautious about what we say to others, especially strangers. As a result, so many people are being held back from communicating their thoughts & feelings to others. Cultural: Each Culture is loaded with so many different concepts that seem contradictory to any other cultures. So when they start to contact, clashes arise. Examples of different cultural concepts:

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The word "donkey" in America The Western salutation in Eastern countries

Language: This is the most fatal element that can destroy any communication between two parties. This happens for different reasons: The usage of 2 different languages, and the insufficient knowledge of both A direct result of using wrong expressions within the same language

Gender: There are two distinct differences between speech patterns in a man & those in a woman: Woman can speak up to 25,000 words per day Men can speak up to 10,000 words per day In childhood, girls speak earlier than boys, at the age of 3, they have a vocabulary twice that of boys Attitudinal: As a result of problems that happen within a group or staff, due to: Poor management Dissatisfaction Lack of motivation, insufficient training to perform a job Lack of consultation

These things result in people delaying or even refusing to communicate

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Defensiveness: When people feel threatened, they tend to react in a manner that reduces their ability to achieve a mutual understanding & trust. Information Overload: When people are confronted with a quantity of too much information that exceeds that individuals capacity to process, they tend to automatically disregard or skip some parts of the message which might be extremely important. Bias: It is to favor something or someone over the other depending on feelings, political views or religious beliefs.

1.7 Overcoming the barriers to Effective communications:

Use Feedback Simplify Language Listen Actively Constrain Emotions Watch Nonverbal Cues

ABC's Of Effective Communication

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2. Personal Communication Profile

It is time for each individual to create their personal "Communication Profile" to let other people get to some of their communication properties to enhance communication cycle within the class. Feel free to add more questions if needed. Answer the following questionnaire

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3. Communicating with yourself ''Private victory''

If you cannot communicate with yourself, then how can you communicate with others?? You cannot have the fruits without the roots. Private victory precedes public victory. This means that you should understand yourself and communicate with it first effectively in order to communicate with others successfully. And the first step in doing that is to become aware of yourself. 3.1 Circle of Influence/Circle of Concern concept This definition was first created by Stephen Covey in his Book First Things First. He came to a conclusion that our life is defined by 3 important Circles. Each circle encompasses a number of priorities & concerns that differs from one person to another according to their personality type.

Circle of Concern

Circle of Influence

Circle of Focus

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Circle of Concern:
It encompasses everything we are concerned about such as our health, our children, problems at work, the amount of government borrowing, or the threat of war.

Circle of Influence:
This circle defines the area of concern where we can actually make a difference. We may not be able to influence the threat of nuclear war but we can do something about our health. We may also be able to influence family plans or the neighborhood stores magazine display.

Circle of Focus:
The most effective use of our time and energy is generally in a third circle the Center of Focus. In this circle are the things we are concerned about that are within our ability to influence, that are aligned with our mission, and are timely. To spend time and effort in any other circle diminishes our effectiveness. When we operate in our Circle of Concern, we basically waste effort on things we have no ability to control or affect. When we operate within our Circle of Influence, we do some good, but what we do may be at the expense of something better. When we set and achieve goals that are in our Center of Focus, we maximize the use of our time and effort.

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3.2 Proactive vs Reactive People:

Reactive -Tend to neglect those issues that are under their control and influence. -Their focus is elsewhere and their Circle of Influence shrinks.

Proactive -Focus on issues within their circle of influence. -They work on things they can do something about. -The nature of their energy in doing this is positive, enlarging and magnifying. -They increase their Circle of Influence

The most important ingredient we put into any communication or relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. So, the place to begin building any communication or relationship is inside us, inside our circle of influence, our own character. We need to understand that we are responsible for whom we would be and by responsible we mean response- able, our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen. We have the power to choose a positive response to circumstances and projections. By working on ourselves instead of worrying about conditions, we are able to influence conditions. Any time we think the problem is ''out there'', that thought is the problem. We empower what is out there to control us. Most people, 'reactive people'', think that what is out there has to change before they can change. The right and proactive approach is to change from inside-out: to be different and by being different- I can be more resourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be more creative, etc.

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An excellent way to become self-aware is through linking this to Steven covey's circle of influence and concern: Proactive people focus on issues within their circle of influence. They work on things they can do something about. The nature of their energy in doing this is positive, enlarging and magnifying. They increase their Circle of Influence Reactive people tend to neglect those issues that are under their control and influence. Their focus is elsewhere and their Circle of Influence shrinks.
So in order to attain private victory; you must be proactive; being proactive is being responsible- response-able to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on what we are.

(Reactive people focus on their circle of concern) Haves

(Proactive people focus on their circle of influence) Bes

Iwill be happy when I have a full establishment If only I had a boss who wasnt... If I had respect from If I could just have management days If the environment was more conducive

I can be a better role model I can be more organized / resourceful I can be more loving / understanding I will be more diligent I can seek out personnel and be able to understand

Being proactive is being aware that we can write and live our own successful script of life for ourselves instead of having someone else write it for us.

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10 Days Control Program

10 Days Control Program This Program is designed & tailored in terms of helping you to take charge of your life by determining a clear short-term Goal & achieving it within a specific duration of 10 days. The objective of this program is to help you to project you concentration on your circle of Control\Influence, so you can magnify & enlarge it on the expense of you circle of Concerns Activity Fields: Spiritual Physical Intellectual Social Instructions: 1- Think of an Activity \ Task within your range of abilities (Not an easy one though). 2- Make sure its derived from the previous fields. 3- Define a Specific daily Timing for the Activity to add a sense of commitment.

Describe your Personal Feelings after achieving your Goal

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3.3 The JOHARI Window:

Have you ever had a feeling that people dont see that actual person you are? Have you ever been described with something you never imagined to possess? Have you ever been into a situation that revealed to you afterwards certain characteristics you never thought you would have? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Now we will go through one of the most important tools that will help increase our selfawareness and expand our circle of influence. The JOHARI Window is a concept that was developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, 1955. It states that we have 4 proportional rooms in our awareness that contain different contentment of how we perceive ourselves & how others see us. A four paned "window," as illustrated below, divides personal awareness into four different types, as represented by its four quadrants: open, hidden, blind, and unknown. The lines dividing the four panes are like window shades, which can move as an interaction progresses.

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In this model, each person is represented by their own window. Let's describe them: 1. what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others - open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena' 2. what is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know - blind area, blind self, or 'blind spot' 3. what the person knows about him/herself that others do not know - hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'facade' 4. What is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others unknown area or unknown self. We can increase the open area, by reduction of the blind area, which would normally be achieved through the process of asking for and then receiving feedback.

Feedback develops the open area by reducing the blind area.

The open area can also be developed through the process of disclosure, which reduces the hidden area.

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The unknown area can be reduced in different ways: by others' observation (which increases the blind area); by self-discovery (which increases the hidden area), or by mutual enlightenment typically via group experiences and discussion - which increases the open area as the unknown area reduces. The more we can be open with others through disclosure or by seeking feedback the better the communication.

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3.3.1 JOHARI Window Questionnaire Instructions: Read each numbered item carefully. Read the statements marked A and B. Determine which statement is most similar to what you would do. Assign a point value to the A and B statements using the following scale. The total point value for A and B is five (5). If statement A is most similar to what you would do: If statement A is not satisfactory, but better than B: If statement B is most similar to what you would do: If statement B is not satisfactory, but better than A: A=5 A = 4 or 3 A=0 A = 1 or 2 B=0 B = 1 or 2 B=5 B = 4 or 3

1. If a friend of mine had a personality conflict with a mutual acquaintance of ours and I thought it was important for them to get along, I would: A. Tell my friend that I felt s/he was partially responsible for any problems with this other person and try to let him/her know how the person was being affected by him/her. B. Not get involved because I wouldnt be able to continue to get along with both of them once I had entered into their conflict in any way. 2. If one of my friends and I had a heated argument in the past and I realized that s/he was ill at ease around me from that time on, I would: A. Just let the whole thing drop to avoid making things worse by discussing it. B. Bring up his/her behavior and ask how s/he felt the argument had affected our relationship. 3. If a friend began to avoid me and act in an aloof and withdrawn manner, I would: A. Tell him/her about his/her behavior and suggest that s/he tell me what was on his/her mind. B. Follow his/her lead & keep our contact brief & aloof since that seems to be what s/he wants.
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4. If two of my friends and I were talking and one of them slipped and brought up a personal problem of mine that involved the other friend, of which s/he was not yet aware, I would: A. Change the subject and signal my friend to do the same. B. Briefly explain what the other friend was talking about and suggest that we go into it later. 5. If a friend of mine were to tell me that, in his/her opinion, I was doing things that made me less effective than I might be in social situations, I would: A. Ask him/her to describe what s/he has observed and suggest changes I might make. B. Resent his/her criticism and let him/her know why I behave the way I do. 6. If one of my friends aspired to an office in our organization for which I felt s/he was unqualified, and if s/he had been tentatively assigned to that position by the leader of our group, I would: A. Not mention any misgivings to either my friend or the leader of our group and let them handle it in their own way. B. Tell my friend and the group leader of my misgivings and leave the final decision to them. 7. If I felt that one of my friends was being unfair to me and his/her other friends, but none of the other friends had mentioned anything about it, I would: A. Ask the other friends how they perceive the situation to see if they felt s/he was being unfair. B. Not ask the others how they perceive our friend, but wait for them to bring it up with me.

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8. If I were preoccupied with some personal matters and a friend told me that I had become irritated with him/her and others and that I was jumping on him/her for unimportant things, I would: A. Tell him/her I was preoccupied and would probably be on edge for a while. B. Listen to his/her complaints but not explain myself to him/her. 9. If I had heard some friends discussing an ugly rumor about a friend of mine which I knew could hurt him/her and s/he asked me what I knew about it, if anything, I would: A. Say I didnt know anything and tell him/her our friends wouldnt believe ugly rumors anyway. B. Tell him/her exactly what I had heard, when I had heard it, and from whom I had heard it. 10. If a friend pointed out that I had a personality conflict with another friend with whom it was important for me to get along, I would: A. Consider his/her comments out of line and tell him/her I didnt want to discuss the matter. B. Talk about it openly with him/her to find out how my behavior was being affected by this. 11. If my relationship with a friend has been damaged by repeated arguments on an issue of importance to us both, I would: A. Be cautious in my conversations with him/her so the issue would not come up again to worsen our relationship. B. Explain the problems the controversy is causing for our relationship and suggest that we discuss it until we get it resolved. 12. If in a conversation with a friend about his/her personal problems and behavior s/he suddenly suggested we discuss my problems and behavior as well as his/her own, I would:
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A. Be evasive and try to keep the discussion away from me. B. Welcome the opportunity to hear what s/he felt about me and encourage his/her comments. 13. If a friend of mine began to tell me about his/her hostile feelings about another friend whom s/he felt was being unkind to others (and I agreed wholeheartedly), I would: A. Listen and also express my own feelings to her/him so s/he would know where I stood. B. Listen, but not express my own negative views and opinion because s/he might repeat what I said in confidence. 14. If I thought an ugly rumor was being spread about me and suspected that one of my friends had quite likely heard it, I would: A. Avoid mentioning the issue and leave it to him/her to tell me about it if s/he wanted to. B. Risk putting him/her on the spot by asking directly what s/he knew about the rumor. 15. If I had observed a friend in social situations and thought that s/he was doing a number of things which hurt his/her relationships, I would: A. Risk being seen as a busy-body and tell him/her what I had observed and my reactions to it. B. Keep my opinion to myself rather than be seen as interfering in what is none of my business. 16. If two friends and I were talking and one of them inadvertently mentioned a personal problem which involved me, but of which I knew nothing, I would: A. Press them for information about the problem and their opinions on it. B. Leave it up to my friends to tell me or not, letting them change the subject if they wished.
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17. If a friend seemed to be preoccupied and began to jump on me for seemingly unimportant things, as well as others without real cause, I would: A. Treat him/her with kid gloves for a while on the assumption that s/he was having some temporary personal problems which were none of my business. B. Try to talk to him/her about it and explain how his/her behavior was affecting others. 18. If I had begun to dislike certain habits of a friend to the point that it was interfering with my enjoyment of their company, I would: A. Say nothing to him/her directly, but let him/her know my feelings by ignoring him/her whenever the annoying habits were obvious. B. Get my feelings out in the open and clear the air so that we could continue our friendship comfortably and enjoyably. 19. In discussing social behavior with one of my more sensitive friends, I would: A. Avoid mentioning his/her flaws and weaknesses so as not to hurt his/her feelings. B. Focus on his/her flaws and weaknesses so s/he could improve his/her interpersonal skills. 20. If I knew my friends attitudes toward me had become rather negative lately and I knew I might be assigned an important position in our group, I would: A. Discuss my shortcomings with my friends so I could see where to improve. B. Try to figure out my own shortcomings by myself so I could improve.

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3.3.2 JOHARI Window Scoring Sheet

Below are two columns where you are to record the points you assigned for each response to the JOHARI Window Questionnaire. Total the points at the bottom of each column. Solicits Feedback 2B 3A 5A 7A 8B 10B 12B 14B 16A 20A Total Willingness to Disclose/Give Feedback 1A 4B 6B 9B 11B 13A 15A 17B 18B 19B Total

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JOHARI Window Diagram

Plot the totals from each column on the graph below. The total from the Solicits Feedback column is recorded along the horizontal axis. The total from the Willingness to Disclose column is recorded along the vertical axis. (NOTE: 0 is at the top of the vertical axis and 50 at the bottom of the vertical axis!) Divide the graph into four sections by drawing straight lines from the scores. Willingness to Self-Disclose

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50

Solicits Feedback

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3.4 SWOT Analysis: You are most likely to succeed in life if you use your talents to their fullest extent. Similarly, you will suffer fewer problems if you know what your weaknesses are, and if you manage these weaknesses so that they don't matter in the work you do. So how you go about identifying these strengths and weaknesses, and analyzing the opportunities and threats that flow from them? SWOT Analysis is a useful technique that helps you do this. What makes SWOT especially powerful is that, with a little thought, it can help you uncover opportunities that you would not otherwise have spotted. And by understanding your weaknesses, you can manage and eliminate threats that might otherwise hurt your ability to move forward. If you look at yourself using the SWOT framework, you can start to separate yourself from your peers, and further develop the specialized talents and abilities you need to advance your career. How to Use the Tool

Strengths

What advantages do you have that others don't (for example, skills, certifications, education, or connections)?

What do you do better than anyone else? What personal resources can you access? What do other people (and your boss, in particular) see as your strengths?

Which of your achievements are you most proud of? What values do you believe in that others fail to exhibit? Are you part of a network that no one else is involved in? If so, what connections do you have with influential people?

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Consider this from your own perspective, and from the point of view of the people around you. And don't be modest or shy be as objective as you can.

And if you have any difficulty with this, write down a list of your personal characteristics. Some of these will hopefully be strengths! Tip: Think about your strengths in relation to the people around you. For example, if you are a great mathematician and the people around you are also great at math, then this is not likely to be strength in your current role it may be a necessity.

Weaknesses

What tasks do you usually avoid because you don't feel confident doing them? What will the people around you see as your weaknesses? Are you completely confident in your education and skills training? If not, where are you weakest?

What are your negative work habits (for example, are you often late, are you disorganized, do you have a short temper, or are you poor at handling stress?

Do you have personality traits that hold you back in your field? For instance, if you have to conduct meetings on a regular basis, a fear of public speaking would be a major weakness. Again, consider this from a personal/internal perspective and an external perspective. Do other people see weaknesses that you don't see? Do co-workers consistently outperform you in key areas? Be realistic it is best to face any unpleasant truths as soon as possible.

Opportunities

What new technology can help you? Or can you get help from others or from people via the Internet?
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Is your industry growing? If so, how can you take advantage of the current market? Do you have a network of strategic contacts to help you, or offer good advice? What trends (management or otherwise) do you see in your company, and how can you take advantage of them?

Are any of your competitors failing to do something important? If so, can you take advantage of their mistakes?

Is there a need in your company or industry that no one is filling? Do your students, customers or vendors complain about something in your university/company? If so, could you create an opportunity by offering a solution? You might find useful opportunities in the following:

Networking events, educational classes, or conferences. A colleague going on an extended leave. Could you take on some of this person's projects to gain experience?

A new role or project that forces you to learn new skills, like public speaking or international relations.

A company expansion or acquisition. Do you have specific skills (like a second language) that could help with the process?

Also, importantly, look at your strengths, and ask yourself whether these open up any opportunities and look at your weaknesses, and ask yourself whether you could open up opportunities by eliminating those weaknesses.

Threats

What obstacles do you currently face at work? Are any of your colleagues competing with you for projects or roles? Is your job (or the demand for the things you do) changing? Does changing technology threaten your position? Could any of your weaknesses lead to threats?

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Performing this analysis will often provide key information it can point out what needs to be done and put problems into perspective. Activity: Highly Brill Leisure Center has hired you to help them with their marketing decision making. Perform a SWOT analysis on Highly Brill Leisure Center, based upon the following issues: 1. The Center is located within a two-minute walk of the main bus station, and is a fifteenminute ride away from the local railway station. 2. There is a competition standard swimming pool; although it has no wave machines or whirlpool equipment as do competing local facilities. 3. It is located next to one of the largest shopping centers in Britain. 4. It is one of the oldest centers in the area and needs some cosmetic attention. 5. Due to an increase in disposable income over the last six years, local residents have more money to spend on leisure activities. 6. There has been a substantial decrease in the birth rate over the last ten years. 7. In general people are living longer and there are more local residents aged over fifty-five now than ever before. 8. After a heated argument with the manager of a competing leisure center, the leader of a respected local scuba club is looking for a new venue. 9. The local authority is considering privatizing all local leisure centers by the year 2000. 10. Press releases have just been issued to confirm that Highly Brill Leisure Center is the first center in the area to be awarded quality assurance standard BS EN ISO 9002. 11. A private joke between staff states that if you want a day-off from work that you should order a curry from the Center's canteen, which has never made a profit. 12. The Center has been offered the latest sporting craze. 13. Highly Brill Leisure Center has received a grant to fit special ramps and changing rooms to accommodate the local disabled. 14. It is widely acknowledged that Highly Brill has the best-trained and most respected staff of all of the centres in the locality.

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3.5 Personal Planning:

So after becoming aware of yourself, it is time to write your script of life. You can start by thinking about the values you believe in and then write your personal vision and mission statement that will become your constitution, the solid expression of your values. It becomes the criterion by which you measure everything else in your life. Vision: A statement of your dream, where you visualize yourself. For example, "My vision is to become a marketing manager in 20 years in company x." Mission: Why you are here, your purpose. For example, "My mission is to live with integrity and to make a difference in the lives of others." One of the major problems that arise when people work to become more effective in life is that they do not think broadly enough. They may get consumed by work and neglect personal health. In the name of professional success, they may neglect the most precious relationships in their lives, so make sure to consider all aspects of your life when writing your script (personal plan). Next step involves writing your goals Make sure that your goals are SMART

Specific Measurable Attainable Relevant Time Bound

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Set Specific Goals Your goal must be clear and well defined. Vague or generalized goals are not achievable because they don't provide sufficient direction. Remember, you need goals to show you the way. How useful would a map of Egypt be if there were only governorate borders marked on it and you were trying to get from Suez to Aswan? Do you even know which governorate you are starting from let alone which one you are headed to? Make it as easy as you can to get where you want to go by defining precisely where it is you want to end up.

Set Measurable Goals Include precise amounts, dates, etc in your goals so you can measure your degree of success. If your goal is simply defined as "To reduce expenses", how will you know when you are successful? In one month's time, if you have a 1% reduction or in two years' time when you have a 10% reduction? Without a way to measure your success, you miss out on the celebration that comes with knowing you actually achieved something.

Set Attainable Goals Make sure that it is possible to achieve the goals you set. If you set a goal that you have no hope of achieving, you will only demoralize yourself and erode your confidence. However, resist the urge to set goals that are too easy. Accomplishing a goal that you didn't have to work very hard for can be an anticlimax at best, and can also make you fear setting future goals that carry a risk of non-achievement. By setting realistic yet challenging goals you hit the balance you need. These are the types of goals that require you to "raise the bar" and they bring the greatest personal satisfaction. Set Relevant Goals Goals should be relevant to the direction you want your life and career to take. By keeping goals aligned with this, you will develop the focus you need to get ahead and do what you want. Set widely scattered and inconsistent goals and you will fritter your time - and your life - away.
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Set Time-Bound Goals Your goals must have a deadline. This again, is so that you know when to celebrate your success. When you are working on a deadline, your sense of urgency increases and achievement will come that much quicker.

4. Perception
Perception is the process of understanding and interpreting the environment around you using your own senses. (See-Hear-Touch-Taste-Smell) Research on perception consistently demonstrates that individuals may look at the same thing; yet, perceive it differently. The fact is none of us sees reality. We interpret what we see & call it reality. We behave according to our perceptions.

Perceiver

Target

Situation

The characteristics of the Perceiver will heavily influence our perception. The characteristics of the target/ object observed will heavily influence our perception Also the context (situation) in which we see objects or events is also important in influencing our perception (the time, location, light, heat, color, other situational factors)

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Perception Quality Factors affecting the quality of perception Experience Motivational state Emotional State Social status Culture Education

In order for us to make sure that our perception was right we should check our perception. Perception Checking Perception checking is just like looking at different pictures that are shown to us, where sometimes there would be a face, but in actuality there were two or more faces contained in that drawing as you examined the document. Without perception checking, we would automatically think that people dislike us for certain reasons, may be just because they are using their body language to speak, or if someone was just staring at you for no apparent reason at all. It is vitally important that we are always observing and doing some major perception checking whenever we feel like someone is getting the wrong impression or maybe you feel like someone is thinking differently of you in some way. As we are perception checking, we don't have to do any guess work; we can obtain the facts of a certain matter by stating what you noticed and then asking what's wrong and change or improve as needed if there is something wrong in what we are doing, or it might be that we find out about something that might be slowing down that individual.

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4.1 Self-confidence:
Confidence gives you courage and extends your reach. It lets you take greater risks and achieve far more than you ever thought possible Jack Welch Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. The more selfconfidence you have, the more likely it is you will succeed. Self-confidence is having faith in yourself and your ability to handle whatever situations are presented to you. You are blessed with freedom from doubt in yourself. When you need to perform a task or complete a project, you have no question in your mind that you will succeed. You are not afraid to look people in the eye or to express your thoughts. If you have faith in yourself, you are able to laugh at yourself. You trust and believe that you will be able to deal with whatever life throws you, good or bad. If you know what you want and where you are trying to go, you have self-confidence. If you stay calm under pressure, because you know its only a matter of time until you figure out what to do, you have self-confidence. Another good indicator of having adequate confidence is a sense of purpose and a willingness to take risks. Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives; yet, so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. Believing in yourself can open doors for you. People are likely to agree with your interpretation of your ability to handle situations. If you believe you can handle anything, others will too. Lacking faith in your ability to handle situations occasionally is normal. If you find that you doubt yourself more often than not, you need to work on improvement.

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The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether youare working on your own self-confidence or building the confidence of people around you, its wellworth the effort! Low Self-Confidence: Low self-confidence or under confidence occurs when you underestimate the set of skills that you possess and this results from the lack of understanding the universal norm that each and every one of us has been given a set of skills that makes him/her standout in the field that matches this set. Failing to understand that means that we doubt an unquestionable ultimate truth about God and this universe which is justice. So, by understanding that the problem lies in our perception of our abilities and not really our abilities we are going to be self-confident. If success was not a good friend of mine now, I am confident that by searching and going through many success- failure attempts and experiences, I will be able to find this set of skills throughout the way, and eventually success and I will be best friends! Over self-confidence: Over self-confidence results from seeing your abilities or yourself bigger than its actual size, too much overconfidence can cause arrogance, market bubbles, financial collapses, policy failures, disasters, and wars.

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Balanced self-confidence:

Self-confidence needs to be founded on reality: realistic expectations, your skills and experience, and the effort and preparation that you are willing to put into reaching your goal. Confidence matters in relationships work parenting life skills expressing yourself taking up new challenges being open to change self- improvement

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4.1.1 Some tips for Improving Self-confidence 1. Dress Sharp Although clothes do not make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you dont look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles. This doesnt mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is spend twice as much, buy half as much. 2. Walk Faster One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about themselves is to examine their walk. Is it slow? Tired? Or is it energetic and purposeful? Confident People walk quicker. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you are not in a hurry, you can increase your self-confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture Similarly, the way a person carries themselves tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self-confidence. They are not enthusiastic about what they are doing and they do not consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you will automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You will make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

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4. Personal Commercial One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost. 5. Gratitude When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you cannot have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You will be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success. 6. Compliment other people When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you will become well liked and build self-confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself. 7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they are afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self-confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self-confidence. You will also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.
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8. Speak up During group discussions many people never speak up because they are afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear is not really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact, most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you will become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers. 9. Work out Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on selfconfidence. If you are out of shape, you will feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day. 10. Focus on contribution Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you are making to the rest of the world, you will not worry as much about your own flaws. This will increase self-confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world, the more you will be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

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4.2 Perception in Communication

Credibility & Trust Initial Credibility:

Often is derived from the persons title or position Derived Credibility:

Based on what takes place during the communication Revolves around the way we present information: attitude, honesty Believable people are those who share common grounds with us Terminal Credibility:

Follows the communication process Is a product of the initial and the derived credibility What makes a person believable? I .Competence:

The more intelligent or knowledgeable a person the more credible he/she appears II. Character: Believable people possess high moral characters those we can trust III. Personality Pleasing personality people are often believed. Negative and unpleasant personalities are less believed IV. Intention: Motives are important in determining credibility

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Salespersons attempts are often doubted because intentions are perceived as selfish V. Dynamism: Shy, introverted people are less credible General Perception: Dynamic people express their opinions openly and honestly.

5. Communicating with others

5.1 Types of communication:
a. Verbal communication Oral communication Examples: Conversation, speeches, telephone calls and videoconferences o Advantages: vivid, stimulating, difficult to ignore, flexible and adaptive. o Disadvantages: Transitory and subject to misinterpretation Written communication Examples: letters, memos, reports, e-mail and fax o o b. Advantages: decrease misinterpretation and precise Disadvantages: accuracy loss in translation, inflexible and easier to ignore

Nonverbal Communication

Communication that is transmitted without words. 1. Sounds with specific meanings or warnings 2. Images that control or encourage behaviors 3. Situational behaviors that convey meanings 4. Clothing and physical surroundings that imply status
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Body language: gestures, facial expressions, and other body movements that convey meaning. Verbal intonation: emphasis that a speaker gives to certain words or phrases that conveys meaning The importance of first impressions: Although it takes only 30 to 45 seconds to formulate a first impression, it often requires four or five additional encounters to change someone's first impression. Many times, once you have made a first impression, you will not have a second opportunity to change that impression. Therefore, it is important to make your best impression on the first try. Elements influencing first impressions: Often impressions are based on abstract qualities such as: Appearance Your appearance is comprised of several factors: the clothes you wear, your personal hygiene, your posture, and even your handshake all leave impressions on people you meet. When meeting people for the first time, it is best to do some research and find out about their environment. If you are entering a different country or culture, determine whether your attire is appropriate. Learn how that culture views eye contact and discover what hand gestures are considered inappropriate to avoid them. Do your best to duplicate the styles and characteristics of the people in your meeting environment so messages will not be cluttered by misperception. Knowledge Although your intelligence will not be scored in a business meeting, it will be tested and judged based on your competence. Just as you would research different cultures in order to adapt to them beforehand, so too should you research the topic of your meeting beforehand.

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If you do not know the answer to a question, do not lie. Rather, admit that you do not know the answer and promise to find out. Then, make sure to follow through on that promise. Let the person know when you will be able to provide her with an answer, and deliver it at that time. Social composure Social composure comprises grace, charm and etiquette. Being graceful in a meeting or social activity involves being comfortable in your surroundings. Knowing that you are appropriately attired and are familiar with the customs and culture of your group will help put you at ease. Simply being friendly is the key to exhibiting charm. You can build rapport with your associates by listening to and sharing with them. Be sure your communication involves a two-way exchange of information. Displaying the proper etiquette for the environment will also lead you toward achieving a high level of social composure. Being polite to your associates will communicate a desire to build rapport. Communicating to Build Rapport: Rapport is a relationship of mutual trust. Without trust, communication is superficial at best and nonexistent at worst. You also need to establish your credibility to communicate effectively, which means you need to ensure that listeners respect and believe you. There are three guidelines you should follow to build rapport: Adapt to the other person's communication style By paying attention to conversation and body language, you should be able to determine the other person's primary communication style. Recognizing a person's communication style allows you to adapt your own communication style to his so that the two of you are compatible. The person to whom you have adapted will appreciate your insight and understanding.

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Find common ground with the other person Common ground is often considered small talk in interactions with other people. This part of communication is meant to break down barriers and find a topic to which all people involved can relate.

Focus on mutually beneficial goals To establish rapport, you must identify mutually beneficial goals early in the conversation. For example, in a meeting to resolve a conflict regarding office space, it benefits all parties involved to recognize that an efficient arrangement of workstations is the mutual goal. By focusing on that point, differing opinions might be expressed, but the rapport will continue because the parties are working toward a common goal.

Communicating at Work: Organizational Communication: Types: Formal Communication Communication that follows the official chain of command or is part of the communication required to do ones job. Informal Communication Is communication that is not defined by the organizations hierarchy Permits employees to satisfy their need for social interaction Can improve an organizations performance by creating faster and more effective channels of communication.

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Communication Flows Downward Communications that flow from managers to employees to inform, direct, coordinate, and evaluate employees. Upward Communications that flow from employees up to managers to keep them aware of employee needs and how things can be improved to create a climate of trust and respect. Lateral (Horizontal) Communication Communication that takes place among employees on the same level in the organization to save time and facilitate coordination. Diagonal Communication Communication that cuts across both work areas and organizational levels in the interest of efficiency and speed.

Communication Flows

U p w a r d

Lateral

D o w n w a r d

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Communication Networks: Communication networks may affect the group's completion of the assigned task on time, the position of the real leader in the group, or they may affect the group members' satisfaction from occupying certain positions in the network. The Chain can readily be seen to represent the hierarchical pattern that characterizes strictly formal information flow, "from the top down," in military and some types of business organizations. The Wheel can be compared with a typical autocratic organization, meaning one-man rule and limited employee participation. The All-Channel network is similar to the free-flow of communication in a group that encourages all of its members to become involved in group decision processes. The All-Channel network may also be compared to some of the informal communication networks. The structure of communications within an organization will have a significant influence on the accuracy of decisions, the speed with which they can be reached, and the satisfaction of the people involved.

Organizational Communication Networks

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Communicating with supervisors: It is important to communicate effectively with all of your supervisors to maintain an efficient workplace and to be able to promote your own ideas for improvements. Qualities of an effective supervisor: Effective supervisors share an important quality- the desire to serve their employees. Competent supervisors realize that it is their job to keep things operating smoothly in the workplace. To ensure this occurs, they listen to suggestions and follow through when possible. Communicating with this type of supervisor is usually easy because such supervisors maintain an open-door policy. Types of ineffective supervisors: Unfortunately, many supervisors allow some particular aspect of their personalities to affect their interactions with employees, which hinders effective communication. The following are five types of ineffective supervisors: Bully Guilt tripper Blamer Dreamer Emotional Volcano Bully: Threats are a key component of the bully's communication. They will most likely use body language to suggest superiority, such as crossed arms and peering over eyeglasses. A bully often uses phrases such as, ''you'd better get that done'' or ''I need this done right now.'' To communicate with the bully, it is important to remind yourself that this person is human and should not be regarded fearfully. Also, find a way to compliment the bully. By complimenting your supervisor, you'll feel more powerful and less intimidated when the supervisor tries to bully you.

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Guilt Tripper: Supervisors who use guilt trips to motivate employees are using a passive-aggressive style of supervising. For example, they might say that they do not mind staying late while everyone else goes home, but their body language tells a different story. Rather than asking for help directly, the guilt tripper will attempt to earn pity to get a specific response, such as getting an employee to stay late to work on a special project. When dealing with guilt trippers, first establish what they are asking you to do. Determine if the task is as pressing as the guilt tripper would like you to believe. If they are being unreasonable, and you have a legitimate excuse for not immediately working on the guilt tripper's task, use it. However, the best way to communicate with a guilt tripper is to make definite plans to help them at a time that is convenient for both of you. By doing so, both you and the guilt tripper will feel satisfied that the job is going to get done in a timely fashion, and you'll have responded in a way that demonstrates a team effort. Blamer: Some supervisors respond with blame when errors are discovered. Should you encounter a blamer, it is important to focus on the facts of the situation. Your goal is not to establish fault, but to understand what can be done to remedy the situation. However, accepting responsibility is not the same thing as accepting blame. Accepting responsibility conveys an attitude of willingness to resolve the situation without focusing on who is at fault. Above all, remain calm. Do not feed into the anger or anxiety of the blamer. Dreamer: This supervisor not only has many ideas, but also has complete confidence in himself. The dreamer is likely to come up with a new idea every week and expects full support from his employees. Communicating with a dreamer can be very tricky because you do not want to neglect an idea that might be profitable for your company; however, it would be too time consuming and inefficient to act on each of the dreamer's suggestions. When the dreamer presents a new idea to you, first determine the logistics of the situation. Determine what priority your supervisor wants to give this project. Then, give yourself some time to review it in private. Make a list of questions to ask your supervisor about the idea's feasibility ex: cost projections, marketability, etc. While it should not be your intention to shoot down new ideas, you need to make sure that each idea is workable before it becomes your project and potential failure.
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Emotional volcano: The emotional volcano reacts to fear and frustration through yelling, ranting, and fist pounding. This supervisor thinks that s/he can motivate employees through fear. Unfortunately, this behavior often motivates employees to look for a new job. Try to find what is motivating them to react in an emotional way. Understanding the cause of the supervisor's emotions will help you communicate with them because you will realize that you are not the true target of her emotions. Also avoid telling him/her to calm down. Nobody likes to be told what emotions to feel, so telling someone to calm down is more likely to increase her rage than not. You should set an example by remaining calm. Use language that promotes a team effort to work through the situation. Above all, never let yourself get involved in a shouting match. Communicating with colleagues: Colleagues might include people in your office, team, department, or division. They do not hold a supervisory position over you, nor do you hold a supervisory position over them. Instead, you are all in a similar place on the corporate ladder. Learning how to communicate effectively with your colleagues helps maintain a friendly and effective workplace and enables you to better promote your ideas and respond to those of others. Guidelines for communicating with colleagues: There are a few guidelines to remember when communicating with your colleagues: Demonstrate respect. Establish ground rules and responsibilities Be honest about your thoughts and feelings Demonstrate respect: Often its the everyday actions that make the greatest impact on your colleagues, such as listening and showing interest in a conversation. However, you can show respect in other ways as well. For example, if a colleague has helped you with a project for which you have received a reward, be sure that your supervisor knows that your colleague also deserves recognition.

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Establish ground rules and responsibilities: Colleagues can often become territorial about job responsibilities and physical space in the workplace. The easiest way to minimize these frustrations is to openly communicate and set ground rules that everyone can respect. By eliminating issues such as boundaries and job responsibilities, you can improve communication between colleagues. Be honest about your thoughts and feelings: If you have a problem with a colleague, it cannot be remedied until that colleague is made aware of the situation. Be open and honest if there is a problem, so it can be solved quickly. Also, share positive thoughts and feelings to communicate a spirit of teamwork within your organization. Promoting ideas among colleagues: When seeking your colleagues' support, carefully choose your allies. It is important that each colleague feels a sense of ownership over the project or idea, so keep your group small. Talk to your colleagues individually and let them know that you truly value their opinions and support. Once you have their support, you are better prepared to promote the idea to management. Responding to an idea: Whether you support or disagree with a colleague's idea, it is important to keep your feedback positive and specific. It is easy to keep the tone of positive feedback light. However, you can also keep constructive feedback upbeat by making suggestions for improvement. In addition, the more specific you make your comments; the more helpful they will be to your colleague. For example, telling your colleague that an idea is not cost effective is much more helpful than simply saying that an idea will not work.

5.2 Listening
There are three levels of listening: 1. Hearing but not listening. 2. On & off. 3. Physically & emotionally involved

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Active listening Is the process of taking action to help someone say exactly what he or she really means. It employs paraphrasing messages & asking for confirmation of meaning. It minimizes the importance of the self & allows one to understand more fully another persons perspective. A technique of asking open-ended questions to clarify & expand the meaning of another persons message. Why is Active Listening Difficult? Human brains are capable of understanding up to 800 words per minute, while we can only produce 180 words per minute. If the only input you are receiving is a persons voice, your brain has a lot of spare capacity that needs to be utilized. This results in looking out of the window, day dreaming or doodling while others are speaking.

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A] Open Ended Questions Cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no", or with a specific piece of information and gives the person answering the question scope to give the information that seems to them to be appropriate. Open-ended questions are sometimes phrased as a statement which requires a response. For example, How was the instructor? I think ., but ... moreover .; however B] Closed Ended Questions A closed-ended question is a form of question which can normally be answered using a simple "yes" or "no", a specific simple piece of information, or a selection from multiple choices. Why Do We Ask Questions? Get information Gain & maintain control Handle complaints Establishing trust Sarcasm Create emotional involvement Acknowledge or confirm a statement Gain Time

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6. Communication Styles Types of Personality Quiz

What's My Style? Consider each of the following questions separately and circle the one letter (a, b, c, d) that corresponds to the description that most fits you. If you have trouble selecting only one answer, ask yourself which response would be the most natural or likely for you to take. Self-evaluation Questionnaire. There are no right answers to these questions so base your response on how you are today, not how you think you should be or would like to be in the future. 1. When talking to another person... a) I maintain eye contact the whole time. b) I alternate between looking at the person and looking down. c) I look around the room a good deal of the time. d) I try to maintain eye contact but look away from time to time. 2. If I have an important decision to make... a) I think it through completely before deciding. b) I go with my gut instincts. c) I consider the impact it will have on other people before deciding. d) I run it by someone whose opinion I respect before deciding. 3. My home / office or work area mostly has... a) Family photos and sentimental items displayed. b) Inspirational posters, awards, and art displayed c) Project and to-do lists displayed (hanging on the "frig" at home). d) Calendars displayed (hanging on the "frig" at home) 4. If I am having a conflict with another person... a) I try to help the situation along by focusing on the positive. b) I stay calm and try to understand the cause of the conflict. c) I try to avoid discussing the issue causing the conflict. d) I confront it right away so that it can get resolved as soon as possible.
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5. When I talk on the phone... a) I keep the conversation focused on the purpose of the call. b) I will spend a few minutes chatting before getting to the reason for the call. c) I am in no hurry to get off the phone and don't mind chatting about personal things, the weather, and so on. d) I try to keep the conversation as brief as possible. 6. If another person is upset... a) I ask if I can do anything to help. b) I leave him alone because I don't want to intrude on his privacy. c) I try to cheer him up and help him to see the bright side. d) I feel uncomfortable and hope he gets over it soon. 7. When I attend group meetings... a) I sit back and think about what is being said before offering my opinion. b) I put all my cards on the table so my opinion is well known. c) I express my opinion enthusiastically, but listen to other's ideas as well. d) I try to support the ideas of the other people in the meeting. 8. When I speak in front of a group... a) I am entertaining and often humorous. b) I am clear and concise. c) I speak relatively quietly. d) I am direct, specific, and sometimes loud. 9. When someone is explaining a problem to me... a) I try to understand and empathize with how she is feeling. b) I look for the specific facts pertaining to the situation. c) I listen carefully for the main issue so that I can find a solution. d) I use my body language and tone of voice to show her that I understand.

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10. When I attend educational programs or presentations... a) I get bored if the person moves too slowly. b) I try to be supportive of the speaker, knowing how hard the job is. c) I want it to be entertaining as well as informative. d) I look for the logic behind what the speaker is saying. 11. When I want to get my point across to other people... a) I listen to their point of view first and then express my ideas gently. b) I strongly state my opinion so that they know where I stand. c) I try to persuade them without being too forceful. d) I explain the thinking and logic behind what I am saying. 12. When I am late for a group meeting... a) I don't panic but call ahead to say that I will be a few minutes late. b) I feel bad about keeping the other people waiting. c) I get very upset and rush to get there as soon as possible. d) I apologize profusely once I arrive. 13. I set goals and objectives that... a) I think I can realistically attain. b) I feel are challenging and would be exciting to achieve. c) I need to achieve as part of a bigger objective. d) Will make me feel good when I achieve them. 14. When explaining a problem to someone whom I need help from... a) I explain the problem in as much detail as possible. b) I sometimes exaggerate to make my point. c) I try to explain how the problem makes me feel. d) I explain how I would like the problem to be solved. 15. If someone is late for a meeting with me... a) I keep myself busy until they arrive. b) I assume they were delayed a bit and don't get upset. c) I call to make sure that I have the correct information (date, time, and so on). d) I get upset that the person is wasting my time.
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16. When I am behind on a project and feel pressure to get it done... a) I make a list of everything I need to do, in what order, by when. b) I block out everything else and focus 100 percent on the work I need to do. c) I become anxious and have a hard time focusing on my work. d) I set a date to get the project done by and go for it. 17. When I feel verbally attacked by another person... a) I tell her to stop it. b) I feel hurt but usually don't say anything about it to him. c) I ignore her anger and try to focus on the facts of the situation. d) I let him know in strong terms that I don't like his behavior. 18. When I see a person whom I like and haven't seen recently... a) I give him / her a friendly hug b) I greet him but don't shake his hand. c) I give him a firm but quick handshake. d) I give him an enthusiastic handshake that lasts a few moments.

Scoring the Questionnaire Once you have finished the questionnaire, review the following scoring sheet. You will be scoring yourself on four specific social styles. They are: Driver (DR) Expressive (EX) Amiable (AM) Analytical (AY)

Transfer your answers from the questionnaire to the scoring sheet and then count up the number of times you circled each style. Enter these scores at the bottom of the scoring sheet. The style where you scored the most points is your primary social style.

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Scoring Sheet

Total Driver Score_____________ Total Analytical Score__________ Total Amiable Score____________ Total Expressive Score__________
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Two Keys to Understanding People 1- Assertiveness: Degree to which ones behavior is seen directive or forceful More assertive does not mean Aggressive (use of style) Less assertive is not submissive 2-Responsiveness: Degree to which ones behavior is seen showing his or her emotions and demonstrate awareness of others feelings. More responsive does not mean (Let it all hang out) Emotionally controlled does not mean they do not have emotions. (J.P. Morgan) Assertiveness Amount of talking Rate of speaking Body movement & gestures Voice volume Posture Less Assertive Less Slower More Assertive More Faster

Less, slower

More, faster

Softer Lean backwards

Louder Lean forward

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Responsiveness Is it easy to notice your emotional status, happy, angry, sad? Facial animation Expressing their feelings & showing interest in others feelings Orientation Voice variation

Less responsive

More responsive

No

Yes

Less

More

Less

More

Task-oriented Less

People-oriented More

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Driver
Very result-focused/Goal-oriented Action-takers (even if they are just 55% sure) Amazingly, they tend to change their minds fast Self-motivated Close follow up on people Very serious facial expressions Tend to hide their feelings Their style tends to intimidate people Strong eye contact may provide discomfort to others

Used Well

Over Used

Mover

Autocratic

Independent Result Oriented Candid Pragmatic

Poor Collaborator Impersonal Abrasive Shortsighted

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Analytical
Most perfectionist Set very high standards Seek to achieve and exceed standards Pay much attention to details Very systematic and well-organized Very task oriented They want to be certain before taking decisions Like to be alone and prefer working alone Dress conservatively Body language is very low: speak slowly, less eye contact and facial expression Lean back on chair when making decision They are the quietest, think before speak Very slow on deadlines, because they seek perfection and certainty Focus on analysis than taking decisions Break points into, first, second, thirdetc Talk about the facts than the feelings
Used Well Prudent Over Used Indecisive

Painstaking

Nitpicky

Task-oriented

Impersonal

Systematic

Bureaucratic

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Expressive
The most energetic Like to be the center of attraction They dont like to spend too long in one place Always use nonverbal communication and gesture Relate easily to strangers Prefer working with people They are dreamers and enjoy high imagination They hate details, look at the big picture instead Impulsive and spontaneous (act then think) Last-minute approach at deadlines Fun-seeker, playful They might turn people off by their one-sided conversation Think out loud Great story tellers People-oriented Very opinionated
Used Well Spontaneity Over Used Hard to work with Articulate Fast Paced Visionary Impractical Poor listener Impatient

Fun loving

Distracting

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Amiable
Team players Encourage others to expand on their opinion Very generous in their time People-oriented Tend to build relationships more easily Security is their main concern Sensitive to other peoples feeling Perform best if you identify to them their role They might get distracted from work by relating more to peoples problems When risk is involved, they delay taking decisions Very patient with people When angry, very slow to forgive and forget Warm voice, low volume, speak slowly Dislike conflict so much As manager, they are very tolerant to employees inadequate performance They avoid using authority at work
Used Well Over Used

Diplomatic

Conflict avoider

Supportive

lenient

People oriented

Inattentive to task

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FACTORS:

EXPRESSER

DRIVER They like their

Amiable They like positive attention, to be helpful & to be regarded warmly. Why? (The personal non-goal question.) Rejection, treated impersonally, uncaring & unfeeling attitudes. Becoming silent, withdraws, introspective. Be supportive; show you care. Friends, close relationships.

ANALYTICAL They seek a lot of data, ask many questions, and behave methodically & systematically. How? (The technical analytical question.)

How to Recognize:

own way; They get excited. decisive & strong viewpoints. Who? (the personal dominant question) Boring What? (the results oriented question.) Someone wasting their time trying to decide for them. Taking charge taking more control. Let them be in charge. Results, Goaloriented. Get into a

Tends to Ask:

What They Dislike:

explanations/wasting time with too many facts.

Making an error, being unprepared, spontaneity.

Reacts to Pressure and Tension By: Best way to Deal With: Likes To Be

"Selling" their ideas or argumentative. Get excited with them. Show emotion. Applause, feedback,

Seeking more data & information. Provide lots of data & information. Activity & busyness that leads to results.

Measured By: recognition.

Must Be Allowed To:

Get ahead quickly. Likes challenges.

competitive situation. Likes to win.

Relax, feel, care, and know you care.

Make decisions at own pace, not cornered or pressured.

Will Improve With:

Recognition & some structure with which to reach the goal.

A position that requires cooperation with others.

A structure of goals & methods for achieving each goal. Interpersonal and communication skills.

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Likes to Save:

Effort they rely heavily on hunches, intuition, feelings.

Time. They like to be efficient, get things done now.

Relationships. Friendship means a lot to them. Care & provide detail, specific plans & activities to be accomplished.

Face. They hate to make an error, be wrong or get caught without enough info.

For Best Results:

Inspire them to bigger & better accomplishments.

Allow them freedom to do things their own way.

Structure a framework or "track" to follow

7. Body Language
What just happened is best understood when we realize that 7% of what we say is judged, perceived & understood by 93% of how we say it. People pay attention to how we say something rather than what we say. 93% communication is non-verbal: Body language (55%) Tone of Voice (38%) Verbal (7%)

Draw a pie chart on the board to illustrate this.

Body language: People use body language without thinking (unconsciously) to communicate a message to another person. We are also constantly dropping clues about what is going on in our head, sometimes without even knowing. Tone of voice: Emotions are often given away, not so much by what people are saying, but by how they say it. For example, speaking loudly in short sentences can show aggression; speaking gently and giving smiles and encouragement can show caring.

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Todays topic is about Body Language, the most important skill required to succeed in practical life. There are more than 200,000 facial expressions and 5,000 hand gestures. Body language is an important part of communication which can constitute 50% or more of what we are communicating. If you wish to communicate well, then it makes sense to understand how you can (and cannot) use your body to say what you mean. However, before we dig any deeper into the bottom layers of this concept, lets have a simple activity to measure our ability to perceive peoples non-verbal cues. In order to make sure your skills reach their full potential, whether you are selling an object, presenting an idea, or simply communicating with a colleague, either senior or junior, you need to understand body language. One must also be aware of the cultural diversity that may exist in body language signals. Research consistently shows that in any message involving people who are face to face, only half the meaning is conveyed through spoken words; the other half comes across in the speakers body language. Awareness of body language will help you monitor and assess your own performance and effectiveness, and improve it. Even during telephonic conversations, your body language, unless you are extremely careful about it, gets transferred to the listener through your tone, which is an effective conveyor of body language. What is Body Language? When we communicate with others, we usually use either words, or some form of sound. Apart from these, we also communicate, either consciously or unconsciously, using body movements and gestures. It includes facial movements, and the slightest and subtlest of movements that people may not be aware of. Whats the importance of Body Language? It is to understand how we come across to other people and to be able to send the right messages. It also enables us read the signals that other people are sending back. Some Body Language Experts came up with a classification of the different usages of Body Language:
123-

Direct replacement for words as in sign language. Reinforcement of our words, to emphasize certain parts of speech Mirror of our own emotions & attitudes, either unconsciously or consciously.

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Personal Space:

Body language is closely related to emotional intelligence and empathy, as body language will enable you to understand the concept of another persons personal space, which you can then avoid invading. One must avoid entering someones personal space, and though this space may vary with people, one can draw a ballpark picture of what an average persons personal space is. Generally, if you are closer than arms reach, then you are in my personal space. Let us assume that people have three invisible walls built around them. The outer wall is said to be about 2 feet in diameter, the middle wall at a distance of 4 feet, and the inner wall at a distance of 2 feet. The space between the outer wall and the middle wall (4-6 feet) is the business zone where business transactions should take place. Between the inner wall and the middle wall is the personal zone for people you trust.

The space within the inner wall (less than 2 feet) is only for family and loved ones

When peoples personal space is encroached upon, they often defend it with a stiffened, semiaggressive posture, or might start getting jittery and unsure about themselves.

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Many body language indicators, when observed in isolation, may be mundane, rather than deep with psychological meaning. Sometimes, an itch is just an itch. Lets look at a few examples:

Smile Smiling indicates that you are friendly, open and approachable, and hints that you would be a fair negotiator. Being tight-lipped sends the message that you are either nervous or unreceptive. It also helps to smile with your eyes. The Handshake A good handshake feels comfortable; neither too firm nor too limp. It does not feel clammy, either. If you sweat a lot, make sure to dry your palm before shaking hands. You could discretely wipe your hands before you shake. An over-firm handshake could imply confidence, but many people will think it to be aggressive, and may want to stay away once they know you use it, or may even think you do it deliberately, to give an impression of dominance you do not possess. A weak handshake, on the other hand, is meant to imply low self-confidence. You must, though, not read too much into it if you are at the receiving end, as this is by no means a conclusive indicator.

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Appendix (A)

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Appendix (B)

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Appendix (C) John: How are you, mate? Greg: Im fine, dude John: What's up? Greg: Just chillin' John: How's work? Greg: I got fired John: You got what? Greg: Yeah. I feel terrible. And I just can't believe that my manager terminated my contract that easily. John: Yeah, he's such a loser. Greg: I really needed that job so badly. Its a nightmare. A complete nightmare. John: Yeah. Don't worry about it. So where are you watching the game tonight? Greg: I can't. My dad's really sick, I've got to help out at home all the time, look after my little brother and other stuff. And my mum's like, crying all the time. John: My dad just came back from Brazil. I'm watching at Pete's place. Try and come later Greg: No, I can't. John: Cheer up mate, stop worrying about work, its not worth it Greg: Yeah, right. John: So see you later, yeah? Greg: See ya.

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Communication Skills Test

Statement Strongly Agree Agree Neutral Disagree Strongly Disagree

1. I can detect the mood of others by looking at them as we converse.

2. I tend to do most of the talking in conversations.

3. I am able to resolve problems without losing control of my emotions.

4. I find it easy to see things from someone else's point of view.

5. When talking to people, I pay attention to their body language (ex. facial expression, hand movement, etc.).

6. I find myself struggling to find the right words that will clearly express what I want to say.

7. I can tell when someone doesnt

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Statement understand what Im saying.

Strongly Agree

Agree

Neutral

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

8. I am completely at ease when a conversation shifts to the topic of feelings.

9. I manage to express my ideas clearly.

10. When I talk to someone, I put myself in his or her shoes.

11. I have difficulty putting my thoughts into words.

12. People don't get what I am saying.

13. I fidget (e.g. play with hair, watch, pen) while listening to someone talking.

14. I find it hard to express my feelings to others.

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Statement

Strongly Agree

Agree

Neutral

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

15. I tend to postpone or avoid discussing touchy topics. 16. I have to repeat myself often because people dont understand my message the first time around.

17. If I dont understand someones explanation the first time around, I feel stupid asking for clarification.

18. I am able to confront someone who has hurt my feelings.

19. I tend to clam up when dealing with someone I find intimidating.

20. I find it difficult to understand people when they dont have the same point of view as I do.

21. I change the way I talk depending on who Im speaking (e.g. speak more

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Statement

Strongly Agree

Agree

Neutral

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

clearly with someone whose first language isnt English; speak more professionally when in a meeting at work, etc.).

22. I express my opinions, even if others disagree with me.

23. If I have something relevant to add, I will interrupt someone to make certain my views are heard.

24. When other people become emotional around me, Im not sure how to react.

25. People complain that I don't appear to be listening when they speak to me.

26. If I find a conversation boring, Iwill let my mind drift away.

27. I am uncomfortable if Im not leading the conversation (e.g. choosing the

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Statement

Strongly Agree

Agree

Neutral

Disagree

Strongly Disagree

topic, controlling the pace).

28. I will stop a speaker in mid-sentence if I disagree with a statement he or she has made. 29. I become defensive when I am being criticized.

30. I am aware of my emotional reactions to what is being said in a conversation.

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Grading: For normal font statement Strongly agree -> 5 points, agree -> 4 points, neutral -> 3 points, disagree -> 2 points, strongly disagree -> 1 point For bold font statement Strongly agree -> 1 point, agree -> 2 points, neutral -> 3 points, disagree -> 4 points, strongly disagree >5 points Results: More than 120 -> you have very good communication skills 119-90 -> you have average communication skills 89-60 -> you have poor communication skills and improvement is needed. Less than 59 -> you have very poor communication skills and you might need to visit a doctor ;)

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References:
The 7 habits of highly effective people, Steven Covey Business & professional development, Thomson course technology Management 8th edition, Stephen p. Robbins and Mary Coulter/McGraw hill. Rothwell, Dan J. In the Company of Others: An Introduction to Communication. New York: McGraw Hill Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communication_noise"

New Horizons http://www.mindtools.com

http://www.businessballs.com

http://www.uthscsa.edu/gme/documents/Circles.pdf http://www.svpma.org/eventarchives/Personal%20Strategic%20Plans%20by%20Kristi%20R oyse.pdf http://www.selfesteem2go.com/self-confidence.html http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ http://arxiv.org/abs/0909.4043 http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/935413/what_is_perception_checking_we_all_pg2 .html?cat=41

www.hondu.com http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=675 http://www.cedanet.com/meta/communication_styles.htm from GST Telecom

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Become-More-Assertive&id=2381557

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