Residential Education

reflections

Facilitator Guide

Stanford University
Residential Education

Table of Contents

Reflections Facilitator Guide i

Residential Education

Introduction to the First Year 1

Reflections Seminar 1
Typical Reflections Seminar Thematic Structure 2
Preparatory Plans and Tips for Co-Facilitator Teams 3
Get to Know your Co-Facilitator(s) 3
Plan your Curriculum (draw from existing materials or design your own) 3
Expect the Unexpected 4
General Logistics 4
Class Management Logistics 4
After the First Session 5
Tips from Stanford Co-Facilitators 5
Group 1 6
Session 1 6
Welcome (5 minutes) 6
Introductions (5 minutes) 6
Exercise 1: Item from Home (30 minutes) 6
Exercise 2: Formative Experience (30 minutes) 6
Exercise 3: Discussion (remaining time) 6
Session 2 7
Check-in (10 minutes) 7
Exercise 1: Moving Maps (40 minutes) 7
Exercise 2: Good / Useful / Successful Happy Life (40 minutes) 7
Exercise 3: Drawing and Reflection (40 minutes) 8
Closing Exercise: Question On Your Mind (remaining time) 8
Session 3 9
Exercise 1: Someone You Admire (15 minutes) 9
Exercise 2: Bucket Lists/Regrets (30 minutes) 9
Exercise 3: Bucket Lists/Regrets: Five in Ten (40 minutes) 9
Closing 9
Group 2 10
Session 1 10
Introduction (10 minutes) 10
Exercise 1: Taking a Trip (30 minutes) 10
Exercise 2: Questions on Your Mind (45 Minutes) 11
Concluding Activity (5 minutes) 11
Session 2 12
Opening (10 minutes) 12
Exercise 1: Core Values (45 minutes) 12
Exercise 2: Worthy Purpose (30 minutes) 12
Session 3 13
Exercise 1: Reflecting on Last Week (15 minutes) 13
Exercise 2: Good / Useful / Successful Life (30 minutes) 13
Exercise 3: Action Steps (40 minutes) 13
Group 3 14
Session 1 14
Exercise 1: Party / Park / Jail (30 minutes) 14
Exercise 2: Hopes & Fears / Group Agreements Team Style (15 minutes) 15

Reflections Facilitator Guide ii

Residential Education

Exercise 3: Dialogue (30 minutes) 15

Closing Exercise: Two One Word Whips (15 minutes) 15
Session 2 16
Exercise 1: Nonverbal Introductions (15 minutes) 16
Exercise 2: Automatic Writing (20 minutes) 16
Exercise 3: What Are Your Values (40 minutes) 17
Exercise 4: Closing Circle (10 minutes) 17
Session 3 18
Check-In/Icebreaker (10 minutes) 18
Exercise 1: Values (5-7 minutes) 18
Exercise 2: Mission (15 minutes) 18
Exercise 3: Vision Elements (20 minutes) 18
Exercise 4: Five Bold Steps (15 minutes) 19
Exercise 5: Supports and Challenges (if time permits) 19
Exercise 6: Feedback Groups (15 minutes) 19
Exercise 7: Action Step (5 minutes) 19
Closing: Appreciations (5 minutes) 19
Group 4 20
Session 1 20
Welcome & Introductions (5 minutes) 20
Exercise 1: Item From Home (20 minutes) 20
Exercise 2: Who Were You in High School? (20 minutes) 20
Exercise 3: Setbacks (25 minutes) 21
Exercise 4: Questions On Your Mind (10 minutes) 21
Feedback & Wrap-Up (5 minutes) 21
Session 2 22
Welcome (5 minutes) 22
Exercise 1: Identifying Values (45 minutes) 22
Exercise 2: Stanford Bucket List (15 minutes) 22
Exercise 3: Wisdom in the Room (10 minutes) 22
Feedback & Wrap-Up 22
Session 3 23
Warm Up (10 minutes) 23
Exercise 1: Integrating Values With Your Academic Path (~30 minutes) 23
Exercise 2: Questions On Your Mind & Open Discussion (~30 minutes) 23
Exercise 3: Pledges (10 minutes) 24
Closing (5 minutes) 24
Group 5 25
Session 1 25
Exercise 1: Taking a Trip 25
Exercise 2: Transition to wrap-up/next week 25
Closing feedback 25
Session 2 26
Exercise 1: Values 26
Exercise 2: Questions for this Week 26
Closing Feedback 26
Session 3 27
Exercise 1: Good / Successful /Happy Life 27

Reflections Facilitator Guide iii

Residential Education

Wrap-up 27
Group 6 28
Session 1 28
Welcome, Reflections Overview & Norm-Setting (5 minutes) 28
Exercise 1: Item From Home & Introductions (20 minutes) 29
Exercise 2: Who Were You in High School? (20 minutes) 29
Exercise 3: Success Stories (25 minutes) 29
Exercise 4: Questions On Your Mind (10 minutes) 30
Feedback & Wrap-Up (5 minutes) 30
Session 2 31
Welcome 31
Exercise 1: Introductions & Icebreakers (15 minutes) 31
Exercise 2: Identifying Values (25 minutes) 31
Exercise 3: Stanford Bucket List (30 minutes) 31
Exercise 3: “Connecting the Dots” (15 minutes) 32
Feedback & Wrap-Up 32
Session 3 33
Welcome & Warm Up (15 minutes) 33
Exercise 1: Integrating Values With Your Academic Path (20 minutes) 33
Exercise 2: Questions & Open Discussion (30 minutes) 33
Exercise 3: Pledges (15 minutes) 34
Closing (5 minutes) 34
Appendix A 35
Core Values Assessment from the Center for Ethical Leadership 35
Appendix B 36
Co-Facilitators for Seminars in 2011-12 and 2012-13 36
Special Acknowledgements 36
Appendix C 37
Harvard “Reflecting on Your Life” Materials 37

Reflections Facilitator Guide iv

Residential Education

Introduction to the First Year

Reflections Seminar
In August 2010, Undergraduate Advising and Research (UAR) initiated 18 months of collaborative conversations
among colleagues from across campus about creating a “Stanford 101" program to enhance the experience of
first-year undergraduates. These conversations culminated in December 2011 with the identification of two
broad categories of student need: a need for small, safe spaces in which to reflect on big picture questions and a
need for a more coherent introduction to the myriad resources and opportunities at Stanford. The former of
these categories was given highest priority for development.

Toward the end of these conversations, Thomas Ehrlich, Visiting Professor in the Graduate School of Education,
shared a "Reflecting on Your Life" curriculum designed at Harvard by Professors Richard Light and Howard
Gardner and Dean of Freshmen Thomas Dingman. This curriculum provided a proven framework for the task
force that began its work at the end of 2011 to develop and pilot five First Year Reflections Seminars
("Reflections") in Winter 2011-12.

In its report of January 2012, the Study of Undergraduate Education at Stanford (SUES) committee cited the
need to “encourage students to take ownership of their own educations” and to support students’ capacity
building for doing so. The report’s authors noted that they were “particularly excited to hear about” the
Reflections pilot in development. The report concluded, “ventures of this sort deserve the […] fullest support of
the University.”

Reflections seminars provide an opportunity for students to pause and reflect upon who they are and what they
want out of their lives to assist them in making choices more thoughtfully and intentionally in their time as
undergraduates at Stanford. The seminar’s goals are to promote in students a sense of ownership over their
education and to provide a community of peers and tools in support of self-authorship.

The seminar seeks to develop in students the following behaviors and competencies:
• recognition of how their choices impact their own formation
• ability to articulate a rationale for choices to self and others
• willingness to take risks
• focus on learning more than grades
• ability to put experiences in perspective
• resilience (i.e., the ability to situate setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning)

Seminars are typically co-facilitated by a trio of one faculty member/lecturer, one staff person, and one
upperclass student. The seminars meet for three 90-minute sessions during Winter Quarter to engage in
exercises and dialogue shaped broadly to achieve the articulated goals. (Some seminars offered an optional
fourth session.) Each trio of co-facilitators develops the specific curriculum for their seminar, but most follow a
similar thematic architecture (yesterday-today-tomorrow) across the three sessions.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 1

 Residential Education

Across Winter 2011-12 and Winter 2012-13, fourteen Reflections seminars were coordinated by UAR. In the
2012-13 academic year and moving forward, Residential Education is leading the effort, with seminars offered
for one unit of course credit through the Graduate School of Education (as EDUC 155x).

The following pages contain sample curricula drawn from some of the groups in the first three years. Boxed text
represents the specific activities/prompts for the students with some additional instructions for co-facilitators
outside of the boxes. Italicized text signals specific instructions the co-facilitators delivered to the students.
Please note that most co-facilitators created more detailed outlines to use at the sessions themselves; those
below are simply intended to provide a sense of how some groups constructed their sessions. Additionally,
although some of these outlines contain up to four activities/discussion prompts, most co-facilitators find that
time only allows for two or three at the most.

Typical Reflections Seminar Thematic Structure

Session 1 Session 2 Session 3

Yesterday Today Tomorrow

Ground Rules Themes Themes

First sessions establish ground rules Session two focuses on students’ Tomorrow is often understood by
for the sessions, provide exercises to time at Stanford. Values are explored students as “next quarter” or “next
help the students get to know one and honed, with the intent to contex- year” rather than post-Stanford.
another, create a safe space for shar- tualize them alongside how those Questions of what constitutes a
ing, and find out what questions the values are lived (or not) in students’ good, or meaningful, or happy, or
students really want to discuss. current Stanford experiences. The values-based life are the focus. Stu-
hope is for students to take owner- dents have a chance to think about
Themes ship of their time at Stanford and the future that is further afield (such
Many of these first sessions focus on make authentic decisions about their as through bucket list, or retirement
“yesterday,” the home that the stu- courses and activities. toast exercises). At the end of ses-
dents just left, their identity in high sion three, facilitators make room for
school, and family expectations. students consider how they can con-
Logistics tinue reflective activities on their
Facilitators take care to have snacks, own.
pads of paper, note cards, and pens/
pencils for use at each session.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 2

Residential Education

Preparatory Plans and Tips for Co-Facilitator Teams

Before the First Session

Get to Know your Co-Facilitator(s)

• Decide the point at which you want to involve your upperclass student co-facilitator. (From
the very beginning? Once you have sketched a curriculum?)
• Discuss with your co-facilitators what brings you to this endeavor.
• Discuss your style in a facilitator role. Do you tend to be directive? Laid back? How will you
adjust your style in a co-facilitation role? Discuss successful team teaching or co-facilitat-
ing experiences.

Plan your Curriculum (draw from existing materials or design your own)
• Develop a shared set of goals and objectives for your seminar. Developing and articulating
your goals for your seminar will help guide your decisions about what exercises to do,
how to present them, and how to determine whether they are helping your students
move in the direction you intend.
• Read through the Facilitators’ Guide and become familiar with the sample curricula.
• Discuss the role of the upperclass student co-facilitator. In some seminars, the student is fully
a co-facilitator; in other seminars, the student may serve as a role model in exercises or
participate in exercises to even out pairs/triads.
• Sketch out all three sessions with an overall plan for the exercises you hope to do. Most facili-
tators will do the detailed planning for the second session during their debrief of the
first, and do the detailed planning for the third session during their debrief of the second
session. It is helpful for future groups if you save your intended and actual outlines.
• Plan the first session in detail
• Plan to establish ground rules for participation (e.g., respectfulness, respecting
privacy of information that is shared in the seminar, active listening, no cell
phones or laptops).
• Determine how you will introduce yourselves and how students will introduce
themselves.
• Decide who will lead each exercise/offer discussion questions.
• Determine how to phrase nuanced or tricky questions.
• Discuss how you and your co-facilitators will communicate with each other mid-
seminar.
• Determine how much time to devote to each exercise/topic.
• Decide who will keep track of time.
• Discuss what activities/discussion topics you might be willing to forego if a rich dis-
cussion is running long.
• Decide what materials will you need (e.g., pens, index cards, whiteboard markers,
etc.).
• Decide where will you sit in relation to the students and each other.
• Plan to solicit student feedback (e.g., consider ending each session with an opportunity for
students to give anonymous feedback) and adjust the exercises/approach in the next
session as needed. (You might ask, for example, what students liked or didn’t like about
the session. What would they like to do less/more of next time?)

Reflections Facilitator Guide 3

Residential Education

• Decide how much you will share about yourself with your seminar students. (How will you
respond to questions about yourself or respond if students want you to participate in an
exercise?)
• Keep in mind that this experience is about developing in students a practice of reflection; it is
not faux therapy.

Expect the Unexpected

• How will you handle students who arrive late?
• How will you handle students who are absent from a session? (How will you help them
integrate with the group at the next session?)
• How will you modify exercises to work with more or fewer students than you expected?
• What will you do if an activity or exercise isn’t working?
• How will you handle emotionally powerful moments, tears, or conflict?
• What are your contingencies if exercises take less time than you anticipated (hint: always
have more planned than you will use) or if an exercise is going well and running long?

General Logistics
• Schedule time with your co-facilitator(s) to plan AND to debrief sessions.
• Some have found it helpful to debrief the first session and plan the second session
at the same time.
• Some have found it helpful to debrief a session immediately after it ends.
• Decide who will send welcome/introduction email to students and who will send reminders
in advance of the sessions. It can be helpful to get students’ cell phone numbers and
perhaps to send a reminder via text message.
• Provide a phone number for students to call or text in case they cannot find the
room or are running late.
• Remind them it is a 3-session commitment.
• Convey your commitment to the seminar and to their experience.
• Decide who will bring snacks and who will bring materials (index cards, post-it notes, pens,
tissues, etc.).
• Decide who will send report-out email to the co-facilitators’ list.

Class Management Logistics

• Reflections is offered for one-unit of credit on a S/NC basis (listed in Axess as EDUC 155X).
Students who must miss a session should make every effort to participate in one of the
weekly make-up sessions (offered by other co-facilitators and combining students from
other seminars). Students must attend the make-up session in the same week as their
absence in order to stay current with their own seminar.
• When you describe the importance of attendance, frame this in terms of the experience for
the individual and other students (e.g., ‘the experience is richest when everyone attends
and participates in all of the sessions) rather than in terms of earning credit for the class.
• The entering of grades will be administered centrally based on attendance information
shared with the course administrator.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 4

Residential Education

After the First Session

• Discuss with your facilitation team what went well and what did not work well.
• Review feedback from students.
• Evaluate the accuracy of your timing estimates.
• Gauge your effectiveness in meeting goals and objectives.
• Adjust the next session plan, as needed.
• Share your group’s experience with the cohort of other facilitators via the email list and at
the Friday workshop sessions. These workshops offer opportunities to share ideas and
get feedback from fellow facilitators.

Tips from Stanford Co-Facilitators

“Allow silence.” “Don’t be too tight on the clock; let things flow.”

“Be prepared to acknowledge awkwardness to “Keep in mind that you’re creating a time and space
make it less awkward.” for the students to talk. It’s not a time to lecture or de-
liver content.”

“When someone comes out to the group,

acknowledge what a big deal that might be so students “Be prepared to switch gears and abandon an exercise
don’t walk away with ‘open wounds’ or feeling too if students aren’t clicking with something.”
raw or exposed.”

Reflections Facilitator Guide 5

Residential Education

Group 1
Session 1
Welcome (5 minutes)
Sessions provide opportunity to get to know one another, to reflect together, and to take a pause from the bustle
and movement that is the Stanford experience. Looking forward to building trust with one another, to enjoying
one another’s company, to providing a safe space for sharing. Encourage students to keep journals—not for
turning in, but to provide a physical place to go along with the temporal place to reflect.

“Today we will be focusing on ‘How I got here: the past that’s shaped me, what I preserve, what I leave behind.’”

Introductions (5 minutes)
Co-facilitators begin with brief introductions (names and reason for involvement in Reflections seminar,
something each brings to the seminar—experience, background, driving interest).

Exercise 1: Item from Home (30 minutes)

Opening discussion: With the notion of pause, we are going to spend 5 minutes or so to think and write in your
journals, ultimately to share with the group an answer to this question:

“What’s one of the significant items you brought with you to college from home
(this can be literal or metaphorical)?”

1. think

2. write

3. students share: name, where from, answer to the question

Exercise 2: Formative Experience (30 minutes)

Writing and reflection exercise:

1. Complete this question with an example of a formative experience from your past:

“I would not be who I am today if…”

-or-
“I learned what matters to me when…”

2. Pair up with a student next to you; take turns (two minutes each) listening deeply, without interruption, as
you share the thing from your past that was meaningful to you and why.

Exercise 3: Discussion (remaining time)

Closing discussion: Share with the group your answer to the question above.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 6

Residential Education

Session 2
Check-in (10 minutes)
Welcome the students back. Ask if they have anything to share (a check-in) such as things they have been
reflecting on since last week, things weighing on them, questions that have emerged for them since the last
meeting.

Exercise 1: Moving Maps (40 minutes)

Everyone stands. We’ll be asking you to place yourselves on the floor in relation to series of targets, to show where
you (literally) “stand” in relation to these targets:

a. Stanford as “home”: a box on the floor represents Stanford. How “at home” do you feel in relation to
Stanford? Does Stanford feel like home? (if so, stand in the box); or does home feel at some steps removed
from Stanford?

After students arrange themselves, invite them to share where they placed
themselves and why.

b. The ‘ideal’ Stanford Student: A circle/figure on the floor represents the “ideal” Stanford student. How
close do you feel to that ideal? If you feel completely identified, stand in the circle; if you feel like you’re at
some step removed from that ideal, stand farther away to reflect how near or far you feel.

After students arrange themselves, invite them to share where they placed
themselves and why.

c. Head versus heart: One circle on the floor represents your head; another (some distance away) represents
your heart. Where do you feel you line up in terms of your decisions, actions, self-identity: closer to your
head or to your heart? Stand in a place that shows where you line up in relation to your head and your
heart (in the middle is perfect balance).

After students arrange themselves, invite them to share where they placed
themselves and why.

Exercise 2: Good / Useful / Successful Happy Life (40 minutes)

Break into small groups: Count off 1-4 to divide into small groups; each group will discuss:

“What makes a 1) good, 2) useful, 3) successful, and 4) happy life?”

Discussion:

As a large group, discuss how to lead a life that is good, useful, successful, and happy at the same time. Is it
possible?

Invite students to share anything they learned from the experience.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 7

Residential Education

Exercise 3: Drawing and Reflection (40 minutes)

1. With a blank sheet of paper and colored markers, students draw Venn diagram representing the
multiple communities to which they belong.
2. Group discussion: How do you handle different ‘pulls’ from the various communities? Which has
priority and why?

Closing Exercise: Question On Your Mind (remaining time)

Once again we are going to think, write, and share, but this time our sharing will be a bit different in that we’ll
collect what you write and read it aloud, so do not write your name. We will be building communal questions rather
than individual ones, and we hope they will help us to build an agenda for our future meetings.

On an index card to be turned in, write question(s) you would most like to consider
and discuss in coming sessions, reshuffle, then read aloud in group.

1. Please take an index card and pen or pencil. Take a few minutes to write down two or three questions that
are on your mind – questions that you would like to discuss with your relating to your thoughts about the
life you are now living, your dreams for the life you might like to lead, and how your Stanford experience
might influence and contribute to those dreams.
2. You should NOT write your name because the co-facilitators are going to collect the cards when you are
done and read the questions aloud.
3. Once you have had enough time to think and write, we will collect all the cards.
4. The co-facilitators will save the cards for the next meeting, as your questions may be a helpful starting
point. Or, we may choose a question with which to start the second session.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 8

Residential Education

Session 3
“Where am I headed, what is my ultimate personal dream and how will I get there?”

Exercise 1: Someone You Admire (15 minutes)

In place of a traditional “check-in”, we will go around the circle sharing the following:

a. Name someone you admire

b. What qualities or values do you admire in this person?
c. How are you like or unlike this person?
d. How might you see yourself moving toward those qualities in the
future?

Exercise 2: Bucket Lists/Regrets (30 minutes)

In small groups (5-10 minutes to write, followed by large group discussion):

a. What is one regret that you have had since you have come to Stanford?
b. What does this say about your aspirations and values?
c. What might you do to address this in the future?

Exercise 3: Bucket Lists/Regrets: Five in Ten (40 minutes)

Identify hopes, dreams, plans for the future (5 minutes to write on newsprint; 5 minutes to post and visit others’;
25 minutes to discuss in large group)

a. What are five things you want to be sure to do in the next 10 years?
b. What do you learn about yourself and about your peers as a group from
looking over these lists? What values are reflected in these lists?
c. Do your dreams mirror or veer away from the plan others have for you?
d. How do your concrete goals align with your values?
e. What will help you to achieve your “five in ten”?
f. Which one are you going to commit to doing first?

Closing
Thank students for willingness to participate in seminar. Invite students to stay in touch.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 9

Residential Education

Group 2
Session 1
The Life I am Living?
Introduction (10 minutes)
1. Introduce the purpose of the sessions and underscore that everything that is shared is kept confidential
and must stay in the room. No grades, no “right” or “wrong” answers. This seminar is for students.
2. Students each introduce themselves: names, where they are from, what house they live in, and answer
"what excites you?".
3. Co-facilitators introduce and provide a bit about of background about themselves.
4. Generate/add additional ground rules, as needed.

Exercise 1: Taking a Trip (30 minutes)

1. Exercise requires pen and paper.
2. Read the exercise aloud to the group

Part I – Packing Our Bags

As a class we are traveling to Australia to attend lectures on the rainforest and aboriginal
cultural artifacts in that area. We have been instructed to bring appropriate clothing and
everyone must bring one item that symbolizes a special memory and/or reflects his/her identity.
What would your one item be?

3. Bring the group back together and have each student describe that special item and what it represents
to him/her.

Part II – Stranded
Three hours into the trip, the plane experiences difficulty and is forced to land on a remote
island.

Everyone on the plane is encouraged to calm down and is reassured that there is enough food
and other necessities for the next week. However, we are informed that we will not be rescued
for at least five days because of the treacherous weather and the remote location of the island.

4. Break the students into small groups to work together

Survival Plan

In your group come up with a survival plan focusing on two or more ideas about what will be
necessary to help the group be supportive of each other and create a sense of “community”
while stranded. Include in your survival plan, how each person’s special item will be used.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 10

Residential Education

Exercise 2: Questions on Your Mind (45 Minutes)

1. Distribute pens and paper. Ask them to write down the questions that are on their minds—that they
would like to discuss with their peers—over the course of the next sessions. They should NOT write
their names on the paper since these will be collected and read aloud.

This exercise will help to get you thinking about the questions that are on your mind.

2. Please take a blank sheet of paper and pen or pencil. Take a few minutes to write down two or three
questions that are on your mind—questions that you would like to discuss with your peers relating to your
thoughts about the life you are now living, your dreams for the life you might like to lead, and how your
Stanford experience might influence and contribute to those dreams.
3. DO NOT write your name on the paper because the co-facilitators are going to collect the papers when you
are done and read the questions aloud.
4. Once you have had enough time to think and write, we will collect all the papers. Read the questions
aloud, one at a time. The group will select a question to discuss.
5. The co-facilitators will save the papers for the next meeting, as your questions may be a helpful starting
point. Or, we may choose a question with which you would like to start the second session.

Concluding Activity (5 minutes)

On an index card, write three words to describe your reactions to the session.

Collect the cards, explaining they will be used to help summarize the discussion at the start of the next session.
Encourage but not require students to keep a journal of thoughts that relate to the session over the next week.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 11

Residential Education

Session 2
Opening (10 minutes)
Summarize from last session based on what students wrote on their index cards at the conclusion.

Exercise 1: Core Values (45 minutes)

This exercise will ask each of us to identify the values that are of greatest significance to us. (Note: Core Values
Assessment from the Center for Ethical Leadership (www.ethicalleadership.org)1)

1. Take out the list of core values found in your packet of materials. Review the list and consider whether any
additional values should be added. You may add whatever you like to the list, but please do so silently.

Circle the 12 that are most important to you personally.

Choose the six values, from the 12 you originally selected, that are most
significant to you.

Choose the two that are your “core” values.

What values were not chosen and why? What values did you add to the list?
How did you choose your two “core” values? Are these values? What is a value?
Would your family members have chosen the same values? Would your
friends?

2. Once everyone is finished, we’ll ask for volunteers to explain how they chose their values.

Exercise 2: Worthy Purpose (30 minutes)

This exercise encourages you to consider how your happiness might relate to fulfilling a purpose.

Helen Keller said, “Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”

As you think about your values and your dreams, and the pursuit of happiness,
what might constitute a “worthy purpose” for you?

1 The Core Values Assessment from the Center for Ethical Leadership is Appendix A.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 12

Residential Education

Session 3
Making Meaning of the Life I Want to Lead
Exercise 1: Reflecting on Last Week (15 minutes)
Begin with students’ sharing thoughts on last week’s session.

Exercise 2: Good / Useful / Successful Life (30 minutes)

Break into 3 groups. Each group will be assigned one of the following topics:

What constitutes a good life?

What constitutes a useful life?
What constitutes a successful life?

Keep a record of your group’s conversation and then report your findings to the large group.

What are the similarities and differences among the types of lives? Can you lead a good, useful, and successful life
all at once?

Exercise 3: Action Steps (40 minutes)

What are the most important insights you have gained about yourself and your goals from these Reflection
sessions?

In light of those insights, what concrete steps might you take during the rest of
your time at Stanford that you might not have otherwise taken?

Examples might include taking a class purely out of interest, spending more time with friends, reflecting in a journal
daily, speaking to more faculty, exploring the Bay Area and beyond, enjoying yourself more, talking to a friend
about these issues.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 13

Residential Education

Group 3
Session 1
Exercise 1: Party / Park / Jail (30 minutes)

We are going to spend the first few minutes of the session today getting to know each
other. In the first round, we want you all to pretend that you are standing around at a
polite social event, a casual mixer, and the conversation topic is “What do you do?” Be
polite and appropriate with a group of friendly strangers. You have 5-7 minutes
(depending on the size of the group). Try to talk to everyone.

Keep an eye on the clock, and the group. Encourage students to mix and mingle. Encourage students to keep
telling about themselves and finding out about each other, not talking about the weather or current events. Give
a one-minute warning.

Okay, time’s up. Well, the party is over. Everyone had a great time, talked for hours and
discovered that you really like each other. The party has shut down, but you decided to
stay together and walk around town in the moonlight. You stop at a park and have a seat
on the ground. The conversation now turns to “How do you think other people see you?”

Again, watch the time. Make sure everyone gets a chance to talk. Eventually, give a one-minute warning.

Uh oh. Bad news. Sitting in the park late at night is illegal in this repressive fictional
regime. You are all taken to jail and thrown in a cell. You don’t know how long you’ll be
here. It’s as comfortable as the park, but they don’t provide any light (turn the lights off).
After talking about your predicament for a while, you realize there is nothing you can do
now. The conversation turns to talking about “What are you really like?” Reveal as much
or as little as you like.

After seven minutes, turn the lights back on and debrief:

How was that? What did you notice? What did it feel like? What else? Does anyone have a different opinion?

Reflections Facilitator Guide 14

Residential Education

Exercise 2: Hopes & Fears / Group Agreements Team Style (15 minutes)
1. Divide the group into two teams.
2. Once groups are assembled, each group will answer one question, and then assemble its data
(“Assembling data” might include student’s own ideas, thoughts and feelings, interviewing others in the
room, as well as observations.)

“What do you hope to get out of the Reflections seminar?”

-or-
“What worries or concerns do you have about participating
in the Reflections seminar?”

3. Once the groups have collected their data, the groups will present. Using this information, the
facilitation team will work to generate group agreements that will guide our time together.

Example: If a concern emerges that participants might be distracted and not fully present, then the group might
develop a group agreement that no one will use phones, iPads, laptops or other devices that might distract
participants from the conversations.

Exercise 3: Dialogue (30 minutes)

1. What are your goals for yourself?
2. How do those match up with others' goals or expectations for you?
3. How has Stanford (so far) helped you in working towards those goals?

Present (5 minutes)
1. Share information about impetus for the Reflections seminar.
2. Share role of facilitation team.
3. Share themes/big questions for the three sessions.
4. Share what to expect next...(how to prepare for next week).

Closing Exercise: Two One Word Whips (15 minutes)

1. What do you value?
2. What are you looking forward to?

Reflections Facilitator Guide 15

Residential Education

Session 2
Exercise 1: Nonverbal Introductions (15 minutes)
1. Participants pair up.
2. Each person in the pair takes 90 seconds to communicate as much about themselves as possible
without using words (no drawing, writing, or talking, no ASL, just gestures/motion).
3. Following the three minutes of introductions, partners introduce each other to the larger group (based
only on what they interpret/understand from the non-verbal cues of their partner).
4. Following the introduction (and before introducing their partner), the individual can correct
misinterpreted ideas and show in gesture how they tried to present the idea).

Exercise 2: Automatic Writing (20 minutes)

1. Imagine your fictitious Graduation Party. Everyone is there to celebrate and reflect on your Stanford career.
Your friends, your housemates, classmates, RAs, RFs, faculty, community partners—everyone you came in
contact with during your time on the Farm. And they are gathered together to tell you what you meant to
them. As dinner starts, one of your professors gets up to make a toast. This may be a professor you have
already met, or it might be real or imaginary professor that you hope to work with later in your Stanford
career. It’s okay to make it up. Imagine that the professor stands up, and says:

“I want to say a few words about ______. When they first walked into my class-
room ______.” Write the toast that you would love to hear. Make it up. Just
write. Don’t worry about wording.

2. Next toast is a classmate.

“This is what ______ meant to me. No matter what, they were always _______.
I’ll always remember _______.” Write the ideal toast. In your dream, what
would they say?

3. A freshman stands up. This is someone you have had some contact with, and you really like, but you didn’t
know they were going to be here. They say:

“I have to say a few words. What I admire most about you is ______. The im-
pact you have had on me is ______. You are the perfect example of ______.”

4. At the last moment, someone else walks in. It’s a family member, someone from outside of Stanford. It
might be a parent, or a sibling, or a grandparent. It could be someone who passed away, but whose spirit
is here:

“I didn’t think I would be able to come, but I have to be here. I’ve been keeping
track of you while you are at Stanford. Let me tell you what I am most proud
of______.”

5. Okay, stop writing. Go back over what you wrote, and circle the words that keep showing up. These are
your values.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 16

Residential Education

Exercise 3: What Are Your Values (40 minutes)

In groups of 3, with 3 rounds, answer:

1. Where do you think those values came from?

2. How do your current activities reflect those values?
3. What do you want to do/try while at Stanford to also reflect
those values?

Exercise 4: Closing Circle (10 minutes)

What makes you laugh?

What makes you cry?
What makes you angry?
What makes you happy?

Reflections Facilitator Guide 17

Residential Education

Session 3
Check-In/Icebreaker (10 minutes)

Exercise 1: Values (5-7 minutes)

1. What are the qualities and behaviors you regard most highly?
2. Think back to the graduation toasts you wrote last week. What were the values that emerged in your
toasts? Write those in the bottom section of the worksheet.
3. What are the values you want to live by?
4. What is important to you?

Exercise 2: Mission (15 minutes)

What is the mission statement that will guide your time at Stanford?

1. Your mission statement should provide a focus and direction for what you do during the next four years.
2. It’s the “big picture” that says what you’re about and where you plan to go. A mission statement should be
short: 1-2 sentences at most. It says who you want to be and why. Think about how/when you would know
you were successful. Think about how you want to be seen/understood.
3. Think about your purpose during these next four years and who you want to be. .

Once mission statements have been written, we’ll have each person share their mission statement.

Exercise 3: Vision Elements (20 minutes)

When your mission is reached, what will be true?

Your vision elements are compelling themes and images that help you to know that you are fulfilling your purpose.
When you are functioning in service of your vision, what will people experience/know/see as a result? What will you
feel/see/know about yourself as a result?

Small group discussions (pairs or trios).

Share your vision elements and begin to brainstorm ideas that will help
you actualize that vision. These should be actions and opportunities that
you can pursue at Stanford.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 18

Residential Education

Exercise 4: Five Bold Steps (15 minutes)

• Initiatives and strategies that move you towards your mission.
• Visions are useless without action.
• Actions signal your commitment.
• Bold steps are IMMEDIATE, not distant. They are the immediate moves that help you move towards your
intended goal.
• Bold means that these actions should be BIG! They should be ideas that may push you out of your
comfort zone or challenge you in some way. They should be achievable things you can make happen.
They should be things you WILL do, not just ideas you have. And things you will do before the academic
year ends.

In your previous conversation you brainstormed ideas, actions and opportunities that will help you enact your
vision. Narrow those ideas and identify five bold steps that move you towards your vision.

Exercise 5: Supports and Challenges (if time permits)

1. What are the resources, trends, and opportunities available to you?
2. Where can you find the support to implement the steps you’ve identified?
3. What are roadblocks or concerns that might impede your progress?

Exercise 6: Feedback Groups (15 minutes)

In pairs, discuss your five bold steps. Discuss how you think these five steps will help you reach your goal. Get and
give feedback.

1. Do these steps help you move toward your intended goal?

2. Do these steps make sense to your partner?
3. How can you support each other in enacting these plans?

Exercise 7: Action Step (5 minutes)

Share an action you can take/do before the end of the quarter that will allow you to make progress towards the
first step of your five bold steps.

Closing: Appreciations (5 minutes)

General closure, thanks, thoughts, etc.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 19

Residential Education

Group 4
Session 1
Who are you? Where are you coming from?

Welcome & Introductions (5 minutes)

1. Co-facilitators introduce themselves.
2. Students introduce themselves (just names).
3. Provide background and purpose of Reflections.
4. Establish group norms
• Confidentiality: Everything said here stays here. This is a safe, trusting space for you to share
what’s on your mind without judgment.
• Participate: Conversations are best when everyone is actively engaged and participating. No
cell phones or laptops.
• Other: Solicit additional rules or norms from the students.

Exercise 1: Item From Home (20 minutes)

1. Give students a minute to think about an important item they brought from home (literal or figurative).

What was important enough about this item that inspired you bring it
to Stanford?

2. Group sharing (upperclass student co-facilitator initiates, if necessary):

What does this item say about the place you come from? What does
this item say about you and what you value?

Exercise 2: Who Were You in High School? (20 minutes)

1. Personal reflection: Give students a few minutes of silence to journal/think quietly about who they
were in high school.

What was your primary role/reputation? Are you hoping to keep or get
rid of it as part of your identity here? Do you think college is a place
where you can reinvent yourself? Why?

2. Share in pairs. Encourage students to continue thinking about why they do or do not want to keep any
aspects of their high school identity.
3. Share in large group.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 20

Residential Education

Exercise 3: Setbacks (25 minutes)

1. Connecting to the notion of “who you are” and “what stories you’ve brought with you,” have students
take a few minutes to reflect on a time they experienced a setback, when something did not go the way
they planned, or when they faced disappointment. It can be related to academics, activities,
friendships, etc.

I would not be who I am today if… / I learned what matters to me when… / A time I felt
strongly about something that deeply affected me was…

2. After a few minutes, ask students to write about:

How did you react? What did you learn? Would you have done anything differently?

3. After a few minutes, ask students to write about:

In general, what constitutes a setback for you? How do you handle them?

4. Have students share stories with a partner.

5. Reconvene and ask if anyone wants to share their story.

What did you learn from your experience that you can apply to your Stanford career?
How can you be supportive, responsive, and empathetic to your peers when they face a
challenge?

Exercise 4: Questions On Your Mind (10 minutes)

1. Discuss attendance policy.
2. Distribute index cards and have students take a few minutes to write down anonymously any questions
or topics they would like to touch on during Reflections: What would you like to discuss with your peers
over the course of the next two weeks (about life, values, your aspirations—at Stanford and beyond)?
3. Read questions aloud and have the group select one or two that they want to discuss in a later session.

Feedback & Wrap-Up (5 minutes)

1. Have students write down feedback or comments on index cards: What did you enjoy about this
session? What reactions did you have to what we covered today? What would you like to see done
differently?
2. Encourage students to write other thoughts in their journals during the week.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 21

Residential Education

Session 2
How can your personal values complement your Stanford experience?
Welcome (5 minutes)
Review norms and expectations (may suggest snapping as a way to signal recognition), and frame tonight’s
session: Last week we learned a little bit about your background and what life events have shaped you. In this
session we will think about the present: where you are in your Stanford career, what matters to you, what you
value, and what you aspire to do and become. We will be using a lot of the questions you submitted last week to
structure the activities and discussions.
Exercise 1: Identifying Values (45 minutes)
1. Clearly the experiences, people, etc. you mentioned have some value to you. Now let’s talk about values
in general. It’s important to identify what values and beliefs you strongly identify with and how they
guide your actions and decisions.
2. Have students brainstorm a list of values and guiding principles on the whiteboard (e.g. love,
happiness, wealth, justice, recognition, integrity, influence). Once the list is complete, ask students to
write down seven or eight values on index cards that resonate with them. Then narrow it down to four.
Finally, narrow it down to two.
3. Have students share these two core values with a partner. Prompts: Return to your introduction story
from earlier in the session. What value(s) does that story exemplify? How did you decide what two
values are most meaningful to you? How do your values intersect with the things you hope to do at
Stanford? Any surprises or realizations?
4. Bring the group back together, and pose a few of the values-based questions that they generated last
week.
Exercise 2: Stanford Bucket List (15 minutes)
1. On a whiteboard, have students brainstorm a “bucket list” of activities, experiences, programs, groups,
etc. they want to explore or partake in while at Stanford (e.g., study abroad, be an RA, be president of an
organization, be a campus tour guide, complete an honors thesis, engage in research, learn a new skill).
Generate as many ideas as possible.
2. Ask students to imagine that they can choose just five things from this list to do. Then ask students to
narrow that list to just three things.
3. Connect the students’ bucket lists to the Core Values exercise. Even though you probably will not be
limited to only three items from your bucket list, it’s true that you will need to make choices about what
you do while you’re here. You can’t do it all, and it’s important to remember that you will be happier with
your decisions and your time here if you understand the reasons behind your choices and those choices are
aligned with your values.
Exercise 3: Wisdom in the Room (10 minutes)
1. In groups of three, ask students to share their bucket lists.

Why/how did you pick these three things? What would you like to learn more
about? Do you have questions about getting started on any of these things?
How can you take initiative?

2. Share as a group (if time).

Feedback & Wrap-Up
1. Distribute index cards to students and give them the opportunity to write down feedback, new
questions, and any other comments. What is still on your mind? What would you like to discuss in more
depth? Journal any other thoughts or reactions that came up for you tonight, or that strike you in the next
week.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 22

Residential Education

Session 3
How to embrace and maximize your experience at Stanford (and beyond)

Warm Up (10 minutes)

1. Have students pair up with someone new. Ask them to revisit the Bucket List exercise from last week:
Did you think about it at all? Did you make a plan or take any steps toward achieving one of your list
items?
2. Reconvene the group and share. Explain that today’s session will focus on ways to take action on their
lists and other elements of their Stanford experience.

Exercise 1: Integrating Values With Your Academic Path (~30 minutes)

1. A lot of you have asked questions or expressed concern about where you are headed academically.
Take some quiet reflection and writing time to:

Write down your two core values from last week. Then write down a few broad inter-
ests/ambitions (e.g., helping others, starting a company, etc.).

Then, list out any majors you have been considering and/or classes you have taken
thus far. Why have you focused on those subjects or classes? Do they align with your
values and interests? Are these actually your values/interests, or do they come from
somewhere else (your family, society, peers? Last week many of you cited your par-
ents as the reason you are who you are).

2. Discuss in pairs.
3. Reconvene the group and share. Remember: There's a reason you don't need to declare a major until
the end of sophomore year. You might be in a different mindset or have discovered a new academic
interest by this time next year. Give yourself time and permission to be open and change your mind.
Don’t feel pressured to box yourself in or make a commitment now—you have plenty of time to explore
and decide

Exercise 2: Questions On Your Mind & Open Discussion (~30 minutes)

1. From the previous exercise, flow into a larger group discussion. What else are you feeling now? What
have you experienced so far? Actively facilitate conversation and suggest questions not yet addressed:

• What to do when you have interests so varied they don't fit within a single major?
• How do you cope with the pressures to be really involved on campus and take advantage of
every opportunity when you are not sure of your passions?
• If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t belong, how did you convince yourself otherwise?
• Have you ever considered leaving Stanford?
• Is Stanford meeting your expectations?
• How can we feel less alone and maintain this reflective, supportive environment?

Reflections Facilitator Guide 23

Residential Education

Exercise 3: Pledges (10 minutes)

1. For final group exercise, ask students to think about a pledge or promise they want to make to
themselves. Have students write it down on an index card first, along with their two core values. This
can be something they have thought about over the course of Reflections. (Perhaps it’s accomplishing
something on their Bucket List, changing their approach to choosing classes, dropping the mindset
that they “must” major in XYZ, or striving to get to know more people—anything goes.)
2. Have students share their pledge or promise.
3. Encourage students to keep this card in their wallet or somewhere safe/visible so that they are
frequently reminded of the vow they have made to themselves and the values they cherish.

Closing (5 minutes)
1. Encourage students to keep reflecting and keep the conversations going. It doesn’t need to end with
Reflections.
2. Offer optional fourth session (set a date).

Reflections Facilitator Guide 24

Residential Education

Group 5
Session 1
“Yesterday”

1. Brief introductions by three co-facilitators (name, role on campus).

2. Brief overview of history and purpose of “Reflections Seminar” – why, when, who, what, architecture of
past-present-future. Upperclass student shares student experience.
3. Ground Rules – Everything said is confidential and must stay in the room. No grades, no right or wrong
answers. This works best when everyone participates and is respectful of others’ contributions. This
seminar is for students’ benefit. No electronic devices. Ask if students have others to add.
4. Students introduce themselves with name, where they’re from, a little about their family and
background. (Upperclass student co-facilitator begins; other co-facilitators join circle.)

Exercise 1: Taking a Trip

Imagine this scenario: As a class we are traveling to an academic conference. Three hours into the trip, the plane
experiences difficulty and is forced to land on a remote island. Everyone on the plane is encouraged to calm down
and is reassured that there is enough food and other necessities to last a few weeks while we wait for rescue… You
will want to get to know your fellow travelers better than you do based on the introduction you have to them so far.

Take a few minutes think about and jot down on an index card three questions that you
would want to ask someone to help you get to know (and trust) them better.

After 3-5 minutes, each student will pass her/his index card to a neighbor. Going in a circle, students will choose
one question from the card they received and ask that question aloud of the student who wrote that question.
Co-facilitators will participate in the sharing and encourage students to elaborate, as needed. If students are
answering too quickly, conduct a second round of questions. Collect index cards at the end.
Exercise 2: Transition to wrap-up/next week
Students count off (1-7 or 1-5) and gather into pairs or trios.
While we are not stranded on an island together, Stanford is environment in which we can all be most effective
when we get to know each other, our values, and be honest about our fears. Next week’s theme will be ‘the present,’
meaning your time at Stanford. You have now been at Stanford for about 4 months. Take a few moments in your
small group to jot down on index card and then talk with your partner(s) about what these first few months have
been like for you and what kinds of issues/questions you’d like to explore together next week.

What has been harder than you thought? What has been easier? What are you anxious
about? What is going well? What is not going well?

Ask small groups to share some of the things they discussed. Seek group’s feedback on most important
questions to pursue next week.
Closing feedback
Take a few minutes to jot down on an index card a few impressions about this session. It can be a few words, a
sentence or two, something you liked, something you’d like to suggest for next week. Do not write your name on
these cards that we will be collecting.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 25

Residential Education

Session 2
Today

1. Brief re-introductions (to refresh on names, introduce new member(s))

2. Re-cap Ground Rules – Everything said is confidential and must stay in the room. No grades, no right or
wrong answers. This works best when everyone participates and is respectful of others’ contributions.
No electronic devices.

Exercise 1: Values
1. The focus of last week’s seminar was “yesterday,” and we talked about some of the experiences, people,
and places that contributed to your formation. Tonight we are going to spend time thinking about “today”
by focusing on what is important to you now.
2. Distribute “Core Values Exercise” worksheet from Center for Ethical Leadership.
3. Take time to review the list of 18 values, considering what each means to you. Add values that are
important to you that are not listed on the sheet. Put a star beside all of the value words that are very
important to you. Narrow to eight, then five, then three, then two. Take a few moments to think about why
you chose these two. (You may want to take a few minutes to write your thoughts on the back of the
paper.)

Write your two core values (without your name) on an index card.

4. Co-facilitators collect cards.

5. What was your experience with this exercise? What was it like to identify and then narrow your list of
values?
6. Write values on the board. Group will share observations: Thoughts on what appears many times? What
appears just a few times?
7. Are any values not represented? What does it mean to be aware of your values? How often do you usually
think about what your values are and whether your actions are in alignment with them? What occasions
prompt you to think about your values?

Exercise 2: Questions for this Week

1. Read list of questions submitted last week. Ask students to snap when they hear a question they would like
to discuss. Discuss.

Closing Feedback
Take a few minutes to jot down on an index card a few impressions about this session. It can be a few words, a
sentence or two, something you liked, something you’d like to suggestion for next week. Do not write your name on
these cards that we will be collecting.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 26

Residential Education

Session 3
Tomorrow

Exercise 1: Good / Successful /Happy Life

1. Ask each student talk about someone they admire: their qualities, values, how they live their lives, and
the ways they feel similar to or different from that person. (Note: students were asked by email, in
advance, to identify someone they admire.)
2. Divide into three groups with each group discussing one of these:

What constitutes a good life?

What constitutes a successful life?
What constitutes a happy life?

3. Ask each group to summarize and discuss all together how they overlap and differ.
4. Ask each student to write down greatest fear about future on a card --- already have some from
questions posed -- then read all out and talk about these.

Wrap-up
1. Write on index cards. Discuss as a group, if time permits.
What was most useful for you from the Reflections seminar?

2. If time permits ask: Are you glad you participated?

3. What have been the most valuable things we have discussed or lessons you have learned through this time
we have spent together?
4. How might you apply these to the rest of your time here at Stanford?

Reflections Facilitator Guide 27

Residential Education

Group 6
Session 1

YESTERDAY: Who are you? Where are you coming from? What matters to you?

Welcome, Reflections Overview & Norm-Setting (5 minutes)

a. Co-facilitator introductions

b. What is Reflections? Provide brief background.

i. Addressing a need articulated by Stanford students for a structured, safe,

uninterrupted space to think about their Stanford experience and how to
make the most of it.

ii. Also a chance to get to know one another, to reflect and share together, and
to take pause amidst your busy schedules and remind yourself of what’s most
important to you.

iii. Framework: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

c. Reflections Objectives:

i. Encourage a sense of ownership and self-authorship over your Stanford

education and experience.

ii. Help you articulate your identity, values, and rationale for making decisions,
and enable you to understand how your beliefs and choices shape your de-
velopment.

iii. Uncover your sense of purpose and initiate a dialogue about who you are,
who you aspire to be, and what matters most to you.

iv. Provide a safe and comfortable space for exploring, reflecting, and sharing.

v. Empower you to continue regular peer reflection after these sessions

conclude, and to stay mindful of the personal learnings and outcomes you
discover along the way.

d. Establish group norms

i. Confidentiality: Respect for privacy. Let’s create a safe, trusting environment

for you to share what’s on your mind.

ii. Discussion norms: Conversations are best when everyone is actively engaged
and participating. No cell phones or laptops. Active listening. Snapping can
signal understanding, empathy, or agreement.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 28

Residential Education

iii. Attendance policy: Because of the content and the intimate nature of these
meetings, the whole group will rely on you to be present and fully engaged
each week. If you have a conflict, please let us know.

iv. Seating: Sit closely together and try sitting next to someone new each week.

v. Feedback: Let us know how it’s going. We want to customize this experience
for you based on the topics or issues on your mind.

vi. What other rules or norms would the group like to add?

Exercise 1: Item From Home & Introductions (20 minutes)

a. Again, the theme for tonight is “yesterday.” Think about an important item you
brought from home (literal or figurative) to Stanford. What was important enough
about this item that inspired you to bring it? Write down a few notes on an index card.

b. Group sharing/introductions: Tell us your name and where you are from (hometown
and your dorm). Next, talk about the item you brought. What does this item say
about the place you come from? What does this item say about you and what you val-
ue?

Exercise 2: Who Were You in High School? (20 minutes)

a. Personal reflection: Using an index card, take a few minutes to think about who you
were in high school. What was your primary role/reputation? Are you hoping to keep
or get rid of it as part of your identity here?

b. Have students share stories with a partner. Reconvene and ask if anyone wants to
share their story. Encourage students to continue thinking about why they do or do
not want to keep any aspects of their high school identity. Has anything changed in
the first quarter? Do you think college is a place where you can reinvent yourself? Why?

Exercise 3: Success Stories (25 minutes)

a. Connecting to the notion of “yesterday” (who you are and what stories you’ve brought
with you), reflect on a time when you accomplished something significant or meaning-
ful. It might be related to academics, activities, family, friends, etc. Or, perhaps the
accomplishment is related to not doing something (e.g. turning down an opportunity).

i. Prompts: I would not be who I am today if not for… / I learned what matters
to me when… / I measure success based on…

b. Have students share stories with a partner. Reconvene and ask if anyone wants to
share their story. What did you learn from your experience that you can apply to your
Stanford career? How can you use these stories to help you address future challenges

Reflections Facilitator Guide 29

Residential Education

or setbacks? Many students say that they aren’t comfortable talking about problems
with their friends or roommates; how can your experiences influence the way you
support, respond, and empathize with your peers?

Exercise 4: Questions On Your Mind (10 minutes)

a. Distribute index cards and have students take a few minutes to anonymously write
down any questions or topics they would like to touch on during Reflections. Knowing
that the theme of the next two weeks will be “today” and “tomorrow,” what would you
like to discuss with the group (campus life, classes, values, relationships, aspirations)?

b. Read questions aloud and have the group select a few that they want to discuss in a
later session. Snapping can signal interest. If time permits, start talking about one or
two of them.

Feedback & Wrap-Up (5 minutes)

a. Have students write down feedback or comments on cards: What did you enjoy about
this session? What reactions did you have to what we covered today? What would you
like to see done differently? Should we be doing more/less of something?

b. Encourage students to write other thoughts in their journals during the week.
Specifically, try to pay attention to what small successes you experience over the next
week, and make note of them (e.g. meeting a new person, finding a pretty spot on
campus, scoring well on a p-set).

Back-Up Plan (if we have extra time): Discuss one or two of the questions students have suggested.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 30

Residential Education

Session 2

TODAY: How can your personal values complement and guide your Stanford experience?

Welcome
a. Acknowledge new members (if any) and how to integrate them.

b. Review norms and expectations and frame tonight’s session: Last week we learned a
little bit about your background and what life events have shaped you. Tonight we
will think about the present: where you are in your Stanford career, what you value,
and what you want to do while you’re here. We will be using a lot of the questions you
submitted last week to structure tonight’s activities and discussions.

c. Acknowledge feedback from last week: Tonight we will try to allow for more small
group discussion time. We (facilitators) will try to speak up more, too.

Exercise 1: Introductions & Icebreakers (15 minutes)

a. Let’s quickly go around the room to refresh everyone on our names: Tell us your name
and something interesting about it (e.g. why you have it, if you are named after some-
one, what your nickname is, if there’s a story or meaning connected to it, etc.).

b. Going back to our journaling homework from last Tuesday: Does anyone want to
share a small success story that happened over the course of the last week?

c. Pick one thing from your wallet or backpack and tell us what it says about you.

Exercise 2: Identifying Values (25 minutes)

a. Clearly the experiences, places, people, etc. you mentioned in your stories have value
to you. It’s important to identify what values and beliefs you strongly identify with and
how they guide your actions and decisions.

b. Have students brainstorm a list of values and guiding principles on the board (e.g.
love, happiness, wealth, justice, recognition, integrity, influence). Once the master list
is complete, ask students to write down 8-10 values on index cards or post-its that res-
onate with them. Narrow it down to 4. Finally, narrow it down to just 2.

c. Have students share these two core values in small groups. How did you decide what
values are most meaningful to you? Any surprises or realizations?

d. Bring the group back together. Invite volunteers to share or report back. Pose a few of
the values/relationship based questions, below.

Exercise 3: Stanford Bucket List (30 minutes)

a. Have students take a few minutes to jot down a “bucket list” of goals, activities,
experiences, programs, groups, etc. they want to accomplish at Stanford (e.g. be an
RA, volunteer, take golf lessons, study abroad, work in a lab, go to a Bing concert, eat
healthier). List as many ideas as you can, broad or specific.

b. Have students write these things on post-its, and stick them on the wall (gallery style).
Allow the group to walk around the room to read everyone’s bucket list items.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 31

Residential Education

c. Re-group, and have students quietly select their top three bucket list items.
Encourage them to do this by thinking back to the core values they identified in the
previous exercise.

d. Takeaway: Even though you probably will not be limited to only three items from your
bucket list, it’s true that you will need to make choices about what you do while you’re
here. You can’t do it all, and it’s important to remember that you will be happier with
your decisions and your time here if you understand the reasons behind your choices.

Exercise 3: “Connecting the Dots” (15 minutes)

a. Have students share their three bucket list items in a small group. Why/how did you
pick these three things? How can you take initiative? Do your values intersect with the
things you hope to do at Stanford?

b. Group sharing: Invite one person from each small group to report back on what they
discussed and what issues came up in their conversation.

i. One theme/goal that probably came up for many of you is getting to know
faculty members: Faculty facilitator to share tips/suggestions for meeting
professors or finding lab work.

c. Close by asking students to continue thinking about their values over the next week,
and how their actions and decisions match up with those values. Are there tweaks or
adjustments they should make for better alignment with your values? New activities
or classes to try or add to your routine? Things you can eliminate or dial back?

d. Homework: Try to take the first step on one of your bucket list items. Even if it’s just
emailing someone to set up a meeting, putting a key date on the calendar, printing out
the instructions, etc. “If you’ve just begun then you are halfway done.”

Feedback & Wrap-Up

a. Distribute notecards to students and give them the opportunity to write down
feedback, new questions, and any other comments. What is still on your mind? What
would you like to discuss in more depth?

Reflections Facilitator Guide 32

Residential Education

Session 3
TOMORROW: How to embrace and maximize your experience at Stanford and beyond.

Welcome & Warm Up (15 minutes)

a. Your questions from the last two weeks touch on several broad themes (e.g. career/
academic decisions, relationships, fitting in, etc.) that we feel complement the idea of
“tomorrow” and approaching the rest of your time at Stanford. Tonight we purposely
want to give you a substantial amount of time to have a deeper dialogue about those
topics in small groups.
b. For a quick warm up, who wants to share any reflections about the Bucket List activity
from last week? Did you think about it at all? Did you take any steps toward achieving
something?

Exercise 1: Integrating Values With Your Academic Path (20 minutes)

a. A lot of you have asked questions or expressed concern about where you are headed
academically or professionally and we know many of you have feelings of indecision
and uncertainty. Take some quiet reflection time to do the following:
i. Write down your two core values from last week at the top of your paper or
note card.
ii. Then create two columns. On the left, write down a few broad likes/interests/
passions (e.g. helping others, starting a company, working with your hands,
etc.).
iii. On the right, list out any majors you have been considering and/or classes
you have taken thus far.
iv. Take a few minutes to look at the items in both columns. Why have you fo-
cused on those subjects or classes? Do they align with your values and inter-
ests? Are these actually your values/interests, or do they come from some-
where else (family, society, peers)?
b. Discuss your thoughts and reactions in small groups.
c. Takeaway: There's a reason you don't need to declare a major until the end of
sophomore year. You might be in a different mindset or have discovered a new acad-
emic interest by this time next year. Give yourself time and permission to be open and
change your mind. Don’t feel pressured to box yourself in or make a commitment
now—you’ve got plenty of time to explore and decide. “Identify what you love, then
figure out what Stanford calls it.”

Exercise 2: Questions & Open Discussion (30 minutes)

Find a new group of students to talk with. Consider a few of the following questions together:

Values & Direction

• How do I find purpose and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life?
• How can I accept failure and/or the fear that I’m making the wrong choices?
• How do I find balance?
• How do I keep or change my personal/academic identity?
• Has anyone considered leaving Stanford?
• How will spirituality/reflection (in or outside of a faith-based context) be a part of my
daily routine?

Reflections Facilitator Guide 33

Residential Education

Relationships
• How do I find a solid group of friends and meet new people outside of my dorm?
• How can I maintain strong relationships with friends/family back home?
• How can I build relationships or initiate work opportunities with faculty?
• What is love and how do I know if I love someone?

Exercise 3: Pledges (15 minutes)

a. Ask everyone to think about a pledge or promise they want to make to themselves.
This can be something they have thought about over the course of Reflections.
Perhaps it’s accomplishing something on their Bucket List, dropping the mindset that
they “must” major in something, practicing reflection each day, or striving to get to
know more people—anything goes.
b. Have students write this down on an index card, along with their two core values.
c. Have everyone share their pledge or promise with the group.
d. Encourage students to keep this card somewhere safe or visible so that they are
frequently reminded of the vow they’ve made to themselves and the values they
cherish.

Closing (5 minutes)
a. Keep reflecting and keep the conversations going; it doesn’t need to end here.
b. Share emails/roster?
c. Group photo?

Reflections Facilitator Guide 34

Residential Education

Appendix A
Core Values Assessment from the Center for Ethical Leadership
Peace

Integrity

Wealth

Joy

Happiness

Love

Success

Recognition

Friendship

Family

Fame

Truth

Authenticity

Wisdom

Power

Status

Influence

Justice

_____________

_____________

_____________

Reflections Facilitator Guide 35

Residential Education

Appendix B
Co-Facilitators for Seminars in 2011-12 and 2012-13
• Scotty McLennan, Adina Glickman, Alex Wittenberg (2012)
• Jennifer Summit, Patricia Karlin-Neumann, Maya Amoils (2012)
• Thomas Ehrlich, Sally Dickson, Lauren Felice (2012)
• Dave Evans, Koren Bakkegard, Stewart MacGregor-Dennis (2012)
• Dan Klein, Tania Mitchell, Janani Ramachandran (2012)
• Alice Petty, Chris Golde, April Yang (2013)
• Sonoo Thadaney, Joanne Sanders, Jacob Dalder (2013)
• Lance Choy, Marian Adams, Chris Herries (2013)
• Adina Glickman, Anna Stone, Austin Block (2013)
• Daniel Fisher, Koren Bakkegard, Chad Kamisugi (2013)
• Scotty McLennan, Julia Hartung, Chris Herries (2013)
• Patricia Karlin-Neuman, Ross Shachter, Kimberly Bacon (2013)
• Agnes Tin, Ali Miano, Sharon Barazani (2013)
• Stewart Levin, Ken Doran, Jacob Dalder (2013)

Special Acknowledgements
First Year Reflections Seminar Advisory Board, which led the transition of Reflections from UAR to Residential
Education: Koren Bakkegard, Cisco Barron, Jenn Calvert, Jim Campbell, Tom Ehrlich, Sarah Fields, Adina
Glickman, Deborah Golder, Patti Hanlon-Baker, Patricia Karlin-Neumann, Jennifer Summit, LaCona Woltmon.

The Reflections Steering Committee, which launched the first pilot in Winter 2011-12: Koren Bakkegard, Kirsti
Copeland, Sally Dickson, Thomas Ehrlich, Lauren Felice, Adina Glickman, Deborah Golder, Julie Lythcott-Haims,
Kelsey Moss, Shari Palmer, and Janani Ramachandran.

Thomas Dingman, Howard Gardner, Richard Light, and Katie Steele of Harvard University for generously sharing
their “Reflecting on Your Life Curriculum,” much of which is replicated in Stanford’s curricula.

Vice Provosts Harry Elam and Greg Boardman who created the Reflections Steering Committee.

The Stanford 101 Committee, which formed the starting point for what has become Reflections: Maya Amoils,
anthony antonio, Koren Bakkegard, Russell Berman, Tom Black, Chris Bourg, Kathy Campbell, Angelina
Cardona, Ralph Castro, Lance Choy, Kirsti Copeland, Michael Cruz, Martha Cyert, Ben Davidson, Todd Davies,
Mariatte Denman, Sally Dickson, Andy Dimock, Anna Doty, Tom Ehrlich, Dave Evans, Ira Friedman, Theo Gibbs-
Plessl, Adina Glickman, Deborah Golder, Chris Griffith, Rich Holeton, Nanci Howe, Larry Lagerstrom, Karen
Hiramoto Lee, Julie Lythcott-Haims, Snehal Naik, Shari Palmer, Carole Pertofsky, John Peterson, Estelle Piper,
Jazmin Quill, Laleh Rongere, Debanti Sengupta, Ross Shachter, Eric Stein, Jennifer Summit, Robin Thomas,
Miranda Tuttle, Kelsei Wharton, Randy Williams, and Alex Wittenberg.

Reflections Facilitator Guide 36

Residential Education

Appendix C
Harvard “Reflecting on Your Life” Materials

Reflections Facilitator Guide 37

Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B
Attachment B