The bus was hot and she seemed so proud of herself for coming up to me.
I didn’t want
an apology, but it seemed like she wanted to give it. I knew it was a dream so I shut my eyes
tightly and waited for it to be over, but she just kept going. A dream. A dream made a lot more
sense. Everything had worked in perfect tandem. We went from the green room to the bus, bus to
the haunted house, then we all magically made our ways back out at the same time. If I had
known it then, I would’ve asked the woman in black about it. She seemed to know so much.
I hadn’t seen the girl sitting next to me in years, really, so I have no way of knowing if I
got her face right, but it was close enough that I almost cried looking at her. She would keep
going no matter what I said or did, so I tried my hardest to block out her words.
“...and I just wanted to say you never deserved that, and I’ve grown and matured so much
since then and I’m sorry you had to see that side of me.”
When I had walked into the house it was dark, but the curtains on every window were
drawn slightly, letting thin, flaky beams of light through. Peering outside, I saw trees bent over as
if in worship, barely alive. I could taste the dust in the air almost immediately, and I kept my
hands in my pockets for fear they would be contaminated, too. There was a low chatter among
the people I arrived with- most of them my age. I broke off from the group as soon as I could- it
was more obvious when I was with them that I didn’t know anyone there.
On the right side of the hallway was a row of tall wooden doors. I pulled my sleeve over
my palm to twist the doorknob of one, opening into a room with high ceilings full of recording
equipment.
“I’m, like, light-years away from who I was when we knew each other, and I know you
probably never want to see me again but I think this is important to say, for both of us…”
There were no windows in this room. A quick inspection revealed that everything in the
room was close to twenty years old and behind on modern advancements. Even so, it seemed
newer than anything else in the house.
“I feel like it just goes against my values to do what I did, and I need to atone, and,
honestly, I need this closure as much as you do…”
When I turned around, a woman dressed in black was standing in front of me, blocking
the light coming from the hallway. She was a head or so taller than me, but her hat and veil
blocked her eyes from sight. I could see her lips move as she spoke, though.
You are naive.
Her voice was deep and layered, like multiple people were speaking from one body.
I took a step back, trying to move slightly to the side to give myself a glimpse of sunlight.
That’s why I’m here? I asked.
No.
Oh. okay.
She stepped closer to me, holding out a hand. In it was a small game card, with the
words, RADIOHEAD - KID A printed on it.
I love this album, I said.
I know. Take it. And be careful.
Okay. Thank you.
When I reached for her hand it was chilly and soft. I cupped both palms underneath the
game card, turning it over and examining it closely. When I looked up again, the woman in black
was gone.
“...and I’m just sorry.”
So I wandered around the house aimlessly, fidgeting with the game card every once in a
while, but mostly keeping it tucked in my pocket in hopes of keeping it clean. I saw a few ghosts
straying through the house, but they mostly avoided me, sometimes whispering to each other in
some foreign language as they looked my way. I wasn’t exactly frightened by them, at least not
any more than I would’ve been had I seen any of my peers in their place. They didn’t seem
hostile to my presence, but none appeared particularly eager to see me. I found my thoughts
drawn back to the woman I had spoken with earlier. She seemed to know me. I wondered if they
all did.
“CJ?”
The bus wasn’t taking us back to the green room, I realized. It was taking us home. Ever
since I was a kid, my bus stop had been the last one.
“Go home.” My voice was hoarse. She got off the bus and I was alone. I reached in my
pocket for the game card, but it was gone.
