Hamlet Act 3 Scene 2

It's the night of the performance

of the play, and Hamlet tasks
Horatio with gauging Claudius's
reaction to the murder scene. As the
courtiers gather to watch, Hamlet acts mad
once more, insulting Ophelia with all kinds
of indecent taunts. When the play begins,
Hamlet carefully observes Claudius. Sure
enough, when the fictional king in the play
is murdered in much the same way
Hamlet's father was, Claudius flees, clearly
rattled. Hamlet confirms the reaction with
Horatio, thrilled that he finally has proof
Claudius murdered his father. Rosencrantz
and Guildenstern arrive to tell Hamlet that
Gertrude wants to see him immediately. As
he heads off to see his mother, he vows to
be cruel, but to try his best to contain his
anger.
Hamlet (to actor)
Deliver the speech just as I showed you, in a normal voice. Do not
shout it out, like so many actors do. Don’t wave your hands about
wildly, but move them gently. Even if you have a passionate role,
behave moderately. This will give your performance smoothness. I
do not want any actor to ruin a scene, yelling so loud as it hurts the
ears of the audience up front. This sort of acting appeals to the
unsophisticated, Who only like wild gestures and loud noise I’d
rather have an actor whipped for hammering it up like that please
don’t act this way on stage

Actor (to Hamlet)

I assure you we won’t, my lord

Hamlet (to actor)

But don’t be too Tame. Use your judgment. Both your movements
and your voice must be consistent and realistic. If you overplay your
role, you defeat the whole purpose of the theater which is to
represent real life. When you overact the uncouth may laugh while
the well-educated will moan. It is more important to please the few
discriminating members of the audience than the rest

Actor (to Hamlet)

I hope we have pretty much overcome that problem my lord
Hamlet (to actor)
Be sure you’ve cured it completely and when you’re doing comedy
tell the actors to just deliver their Lines has written some of them
start laughing it up just appeal the dim wits in the audience while
the whole time ignoring the plot of the play. This is outrageous Now
go get ready for the performance

[Actor exits. Polonius,

Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern enter.]
Hamlet (to Polonius)
Hello, my lord. Is the king coming to the play?

Polonius (to Hamlet)

And the queen Also

Hamlet (to Polonius)

Ask the players to hurry up

[Exit Polonius]
Hamlet (To Rosencrantz and Guildenstern)
Will you help the actors get ready?
Rosencrantz (to Hamlet)
We will, my lord

Hamlet (to Horatio)

[Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
Exit. Horatio enters.]
Hello, Horatio!

Horatio (to Hamlet)

At your service, my lord.

Hamlet (to Horatio)

Horatio, I think that you are about as well adjusted as anyone I have
ever met

Horatio (to Hamlet)

Oh, my lord…
Hamlet (to Horatio)
I am not Trying to flatter you after all what could I be trying to get you
can barely support yourself financially people don’t flatter the poor
no, they lick the boots of pompous jerks, Kneeling down and fawning
All over him, if there’s anything to be gained you know what I’m
saying But, ever since I’ve man’s character I have singled you out
.Nothing ; You take the UPS with the downs Your good judgment
keeps your emotion in check Show me someone who Is not driven
by his emotion heavily and I will make him a dear friend as I have
done. Enough of this stuff
Tonight, they are performing a play for the King, which contains a
scene similar to the depiction of my father’s death when that scene
is performed, I want you to observe my uncle if he doesn’t react,
Then we will know that it’s a devilish ghost I met We will both keep a
close eye on Claudius, After the play we will compare our
observation

Horatio (to Hamlet)

Well, my lord, If he did commit a crime and escape my detention,
then you can hold me accountable

Hamlet (to Horatio)

Look. Everyone arrived for the play. I must greet them, Go, take your
seat
Claudius (to Hamlet)
How does Kinsman fare, Hamlet?

Hamlet (to Claudius)

I’m truly eating very well. I ate the same thing as chameleons in the
air. Except the air I eat is full of promise you couldn't flatten a
chicken on that.
Claudius (to Hamlet)
I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about, Hamlet. Your
words don’t respond to my questions

Hamlet (to Claudius)

They aren’t my words any longer; they’ve left my mouth. [To
Polonius] My lord, didn’t you act in a play when you were a student
at the university?

Polonius (to Hamlet)

Yes, my lord; and, it was said that I was a pretty good actor

Hamlet (to Polonius)

What role did you play?
Polonius (to Hamlet)
I played Julius Caesar. I was murdered by Brutus in the capitol
Temple

Hamlet (to Polonius)

It was “brute” of him to kill such “capital” an actor as yourself. Are
the actors ready to begin?

Rosencrantz (to Hamlet)

Yes, my lord. They’re waiting for you

Gertrude (to Hamlet)

Come over here, my dear Hamlet. Sit next to me.

Hamlet (to Gertrude)

No, mother. Here’s metal [indicating Ophelia] which attracts me
more

Polonius (to Claudius)

[Aside, to the king] Claudius, did you hear that?
Hamlet (to Ophelia)
Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

No, my lord.

Hamlet (to Ophelia)

I mean, place my head upon your lap

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

Yes, my lord

Hamlet (to Ophelia)

That’s me, always the clown. See how Cheerful my mother looks, my
father just died hours ago

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

No, it’s been several months, my lord
Hamlet (to Ophelia)
Really, that long! Well to hell with these dreamy mourning clothes – I
will get myself a nice fur outfit. Perhaps a memory of a great man
can live on six months after his death. But for that he would have
needed to build a beautiful church in his name. Otherwise, he will
end up like the hobby horse in a Children’s song – all forgotten

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

What does this dumb show mean, my lord?

Hamlet (to Ophelia)

It represents the theme of the play, which is “Miching Mallico” – That
means mischief.

Ophelia
[The Prologue comes on stage]
Is this fellow going to tell us the plot?

Hamlet (to Ophelia)

This fellow Will definitely give away the plot. These actors can’t keep
a secret.
Ophelia (to Hamlet)
Will he explain the show we just saw

Hamlet (to Ophelia)

He will explain anything you want to show him. He won’t be
embarrassed to explain what he sees

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

I’ll just Watch the play

Prologue (to everyone)

We humbly ask you to patiently watch our play, and overlook any
shortcomings it may have

Hamlet (to Ophelia)

Is that supposed to be an introduction to the play, or the inscription
engraved in a ring

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

It’s very brief, my lord
Hamlet (to Ophelia)
As a woman’s love
[Two actors enter, as King and Queen]

Player King (to audience)

[ The actors commence their performance]
Thirty times has the sun gone around this club, and Thirty times
twelve has the moon gone through the celestial circle, since we fell
in love and were United in marriage by hymen, the God of marriage

Player Queen (to audience)

May sun and moon go through many more circles before our love for
each other is over. But woe is me. You’re so sick lately unlike your
normal self. I am worried. But even though I am frightened, don’t let
that upset you. A woman’s love and worry only exit one of two
Intensities. Either they are insignificant, or they are extreme. I have
proved that my love for you is extremely therefore, so is my worry
Player king (to audience)
My body’s faculties are beginning to fail. I’ll be leaving you shortly.
But you will live on – Honor, beloved, and perhaps with the husband
as kind as ….
Player Queen (to audience)
Stop it! Loving anyone other than you would be treason. If I remarry
let me be damned. The only woman who takes a second husband
are those who kill the 1st

Hamlet (to everyone)

How bitter, bitter!

Player Queen
Second marriages are for financial reasons, not love. Letting a
second husband kiss me would cause you to die a second time.

Player King (to audience)

I'm Sure you believe what you're saying now But. we often fail to
follow through with what we were once so determined to do. Our
intention is like ripening fruit. They begin to adhere. But slowly they
ripen and fall away
It’s inevitable that we forgot our personal promises. In the moment
we promised to do something but, once we’ve cooled, we lose
motivation. The strongest emotions wear themselves out, and they
can flip-flop for the slightest reason. Nothing lasts forever. Nor is it
surprising that our love changes with our circumstances. The
question remains to be answered: does love determine our destiny,
or does destiny determine our love?
A powerful man, who has fallen on hard times will find that his
supporters have deserted him; while a poor man, turned wealthy,
will find friends everywhere. That’s the way it’s always been friends
come with good fortune. Let me go back to where I started:
sometimes things don’t go as we would have wished and our original
desires remain unfulfilled. Though we come up with a well-
intentioned plan, we can’t guarantee its execution. You might
believe, right now, that you will never remarry; but that thought will
die after I’m dead
Player Queen (to audience)
May the earth not provide me food, nor heaven provide me light; let
the day deny me exercise, and that night deny me rest; may the hate
destroy what I most love; and let strife pursue me now, and was if,
once I’m a window, I ever again become a wife

Hamlet (to everyone)

If she should break her vow now!

Player king (to audience)

You've made a solemn vow. My dear, please leave me for a while. I
am tired and would like to while away the time with a nap

Player Queen (to audience)

Go to sleep, my dear, and let nothing ever come between us.
Hamlet (to Gertrude)
Madam, how do you like this play?

Gertrude (to Hamlet)

The Lady protests too much, I think

Hamlet (to Gertrude)

Oh, but she’ll keep her word

Claudius (to Hamlet)

Do you know the plot? Is it offensive?

Hamlet (to Claudius)

Oh, no. The play's not offensive. Now, there’s an “offense” in it –
someone gets poisoned. But that’s not a real offense, just a fiction in
the play, just a fiction in the play.

Claudius (to Hamlet)

What’s the name of the play?
Hamlet (to Claudius)
I call it “The Mousetrap”. The play is about the murder of Duke
Gonzago in Vienna whose wife is Baptista. You’ll see all this soon
enough. There’s some evil in the play, but that won’t bother us or
your majesty. Let the guilty squirm in their seats; we’ll be
comfortable.

[Enter Lucianus]
This is Lucianus, the nephew of the king. Ophelia

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

You’re very sharp, my lord.

Hamlet (to Ophelia)

You could take off my sharp edge, but that would make you moan.

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

Still better and worse.
Hamlet (to Ophelia)
For better and worse - you mistake me for husbands. [To the Players]
You there, playing the murderer, enough making ridiculous faces.
Get on with the scene. We all know this play is about taking revenge
for the murder.

Lucianus (to Poison)

My thoughts are evil, I’m all set, I’ve got the drugs, and the time is
right since no one’s around to witness my crime. [Talking to the
poison] You noxious mixture, made from poisonous weeds collected
at midnight, I have given you the witch’s triple curse. Now, work your
horrible magic and immediately snuff out his life.

Hamlet (to Everyone)

He poisons the Duke Gonzago in his garden to get his estate. It’s a
published story, written in very good Italian. You’ll soon see how the
murderer also gets Gonzago’s wife.

Ophelia (to Hamlet)

The king’s getting up.

Hamlet (to everyone)

What! Are you frightened by a gun firing blanks?
Gertrude (to Hamlet)
Are you okay, my lord?

Polonius (to Actors)

Stop the play.

Claudius (to Everyone)

Turn on the lights. Everyone leave!

All
Lights, lights, lights!

Hamlet (to Himself, then Horatio)

[Singing lines from a popular ballad] While a deer struck by an arrow
crawls away to die, the unharmed ones continue to play. Some live
on, while others die - that’s just the way the world goes. [To Horatio]
Can I stage a play, or what? If all else fails, all I would need is a fancy
costume with lots of feathers and a pair of satin with roses and I
could have a full partnership in an acting company.
Horatio (to Hamlet)
Perhaps, just half a partnership.

Hamlet (to Horatio)

No, certainly I deserve a whole one. [Making up a rhyme] You know,
my good friend Damon, that this kingdom was stolen from a king
resembling the god Jove, and the man who now reigns is a …
peacock.

Horatio (to Hamlet)

Ha, you should’ve made it rhyme

Hamlet (to Horatio)

Horatio, I’ll bet a thousand pounds the ghost was telling the truth.
Did you see how Claudius reacted?

Horatio (to Hamlet)

I saw him quite well, my lord.

Hamlet (to Horatio)

During the poisoning?
Horatio (to Hamlet)
I watched him very carefully.

[Enter Rosencrantz and Guildenstern]

Hamlet (to Horatio)

Let’s have some music, bring the flutes. If the king did not like my
show, indeed. Come, let’s have some music.

Guildenstern (to Hamlet)

Mr. lord, please grant me a word with you.

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

Sir, I’ll grant you a whole history.

Guildenstern (to Hamlet)

The king, my lord…

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

Yes, my lord, what about him?
Guildenstern (to Hamlet)
He’s in his room, very out of it.

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

Drunk, my lord?

Guildenstern (to Hamlet)

No, my lord, angry.

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

If he suffers from cholera you’d do better to call his doctor. If I were
to cure him, it’d likely plunge him into even worse cholera.

Guildenstern (to Hamlet)

My good lord, organize your thoughts, and quit jumping from subject
to subject.

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

If my mother has sent you to stay with me, you’re most welcome
here.
Guildenstern (to Hamlet)
Please, my lord, this wisecracking isn’t worth your social status. If
not, please excuse me, as this ends our business.

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

My Lord, I can’t.

Rosencrantz (to Hamlet)

Can’t what, my lord?

Hamlet (to Rosencrantz)

I can’t give you a “wholesome” answer; my mind is diseased. But
you shall have my answer - my mother commands it. Enough of this,
back to the matter. You were saying, my mother…

Rosencrantz (to Hamlet)

She said your behavior has bewildered and astonished her.

Hamlet (to Rosencrantz)

Oh, what a wonderful son that can so astonish his mother. Was
there anything else, other than her admiration of me?
Rosencrantz (to Hamlet)
She wants to speak to you in her chambers before you go to bed.

Hamlet (to Rosencrantz)

I shall obey her command, as if she were my mother by ten
marriages, instead of just two. Do you have any other business with
me?

Rosencrantz (to Hamlet)

My Lord, we were once close friends.

Hamlet (to Rosencrantz)

I swear with these hands that we were.

Rosencrantz (to Hamlet)

My Lord, why are you acting crazy? If you don’t discuss your problem
with us, you’re sure to be locked up.

Hamlet (to Rosencrantz)

My Lord, I lack advancement.
Rosencrantz (to Hamlet)
How can that be? The King himself named you heir to the throne

Hamlet (to Rosencrantz)

Yes. But, as the proverb goes, “While the grass grows, the horse
starves.”
[One of the actors enter with a flute)
[To the actor] Oh a flute, let me see it.
[To Rosencrantz and Guildenstern] Let me speak frankly with you.
Why are you maneuvering the conversation, as if you’re trying to take
advantage of me, like a hunter driving his prey into a net

Guildenstern (to Hamlet)

If my questions are too direct, its only because my devotion to you
has caused me to forget my good manners.

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

Please.

Guildenstern (to Hamlet)

Believe me, I can’t.
Hamlet (to Guildenstern)
I insist

Guildenstern (to Hamlet)

I don’t know the first think about playing it, my lord

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

It’s as easy as lying. Just cover these opening with your finger and
thumb and blow into it; you’ll produce excellent music. Here are the
notes.

Guildenstern (to Hamlet)

I can’t play a tune. I don’t have the skill.

Hamlet (to Guildenstern)

Really! You can’t play this instrument, but you would play me. You
don’t know its notes, but you want to note everything about me. You
can’t get a sound out of it, but you would sound me out from top to
bottom. Am I easier to play that a flute? You may fret me, but you
won’t play me like a guitar.
[To Polonius, as he enters]
God bless you, my lord.
Polonius (to Hamlet)
My lord, the queen wishes to speak with you, right now.

Hamlet (to Polonius)

Do you see that cloud over these, that look like a camel?

Polonius (to Hamlet)

Wow, it’s indeed like a camel.

Hamlet (to Polonius)

I think it’s like a weasel

Polonius (to Hamlet)

It does have the back of a weasel

Hamlet (to Polonius)

Or like a whale?

Polonius (to Hamlet)

It’s very much like a whale.
Hamlet (to Polonius)
I’ll go see my mother soon. [Aside] They go along with my
foolishness, though I take it to the limit. [Aloud] I go at once

Polonius (to Hamlet)

I’ll tell her.
[Exit]

Hamlet (to Everyone)

“At once’ is easy to say. Leave me, my friends
[Exit all except Hamlet]
It’s the bewitching hour, when the dead rise up form graves and evil
plagues the world. I feel as if I cloud drink hot blood and commit
such a wickedness that would frighten the daylights out of everyone.
I must calm down – now, to go see my mother. I mustn’t treat her as
the Emperor Nero did his. I’ll be harsh, but not violent. I’ll pierce her
not with weapon but with my words, I will have a savage tongue, but
my intentions are kind. No matter how shameless I am to her, but
my affections will keep me from hurting her