Credits

Designed and Written by Ewen Cluney (©2014)

Additional writing by Adrian Maddocks
Based on Maid: The Role-Playing Game by Ryo Kamiya
Covert Art by James Leach and Chris Camareno
Playtesters: Grant Chen, Dave Empey, Aaron Smith

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 Table of Contents
Introduction ................................................... 4 Chapter 3: Boss Creation ............................... 29
Inspirations ...................................................... 5 Boss Rules ....................................................... 29
Getting Started ................................................. 5 Step 1: Attributes............................................ 29
Chapter 1: Creating Your Employee................ 7 Step 2: Boss Type ............................................ 29
Step 1: Attributes ............................................. 7 Step 3: Boss Assets .......................................... 30
Step 2: Employee Types ................................... 7 Step 4: Favorite Employee Type..................... 30
Step 3: Employee Special Qualities ................. 7 Step 5: Boss Special Qualities, Stress Explosion,
Step 4: Employee Roots ................................... 8 Colors.............................................................. 30

Step 5: Employee Weapon .............................. 9 Step 6: Finishing Touches .............................. 30

Step 6: Stress Explosion ................................... 9 Session Orders ................................................ 31

Step 7: Colors................................................. 10 Chapter 4: Store Creation .............................. 32

Step 8: Finishing Touches ............................. 10 Step 1: Store Appearance ............................... 32

Employee Special Qualities Table ................. 11 Step 2: Store Colors ....................................... 32

Chapter 2: Rules of Play .................................16 Step 3: Store Location .................................... 33

Action Resolution .......................................... 16 Step 4: Store Specialty .................................... 34

Conflicts and Stress ....................................... 16 Step 5: Store Special Features ........................ 35

Kudos ............................................................. 17 Step 6: Finishing Touches .............................. 35

NPCs .............................................................. 18 Chapter 5: Introductory Scenarios ................. 36

The Store ........................................................ 18 First Day .......................................................... 36

The Boss ......................................................... 18 Golden Friday ................................................. 39

Random Event Tables.................................... 19 Design Notes ................................................. 42

Spell Components Table ............................... 26

Styles of Play ................................................... 28

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Introduction
Pastoria is a peaceful and prosperous land, situated in a fantasy world like you people from Earth see in video
games and anime. There are dragons and demons and the occasional Dark Lord, but in everyday life there
are basically people. Some of the people are shorter or taller with pointy ears, a few of them are made of stone
or slime, but basically, people living their lives. In this world magic isn’t just something wizards toss around
when they’re feeling less subtle and more quick to anger; it’s a commodity, an important part of the economy.
The sale of magical items, ranging from simple agricultural charms to world-shaking artifacts, is an everyday
occurrence. There are magic peddlers who wander from village to village in worrisome carts, but every town
of any size has at least one magic item shop.
To adventurers a magic shop is a place of routine, a place to trade in treasure and stock up on healing potions.
However, there are those to whom a magic shop is a workplace, where every ring of the bell above the door
brings a customer looking to buy some trinket or other. This game is about these retail workers. Society tends
to look right through them, and they don’t have an easy life. This has a lot to do with the history of Pastoria
and the nature of the magic trade.
Pastoria is situated on an area that in the First Age was the seat of the First Empire. If you believe the stories,
its rulers were actual demigods, but they were arrogant and fractious rulers. Their wars led to the fall of the
First Empire. And the Second Empire. And the Third Empire. At some point they stopped numbering the
Empires. The point is that the region where Pastoria now stands was home to countless battles fought with
ludicrously powerful magic. There are pockets of magical distortions and potentially dangerous artifacts all
over the place. Magic items are plentiful, though it takes a certain amount of filtering to find the useful ones.
Pastoria also has many more outworlders—visitors from other dimensions—than more distant lands. Society
often shuns such people (and other things), but due to the dangers of working in close proximity to a high
concentration of magical items, item store owners can’t afford to be too picky about who they hire. Thus, the
magic retail trade is something of a haven for those who for whatever reason don’t quite fit into normal
society.
Retail Magic is a role-playing game about retail employees in the magic item trade. It blends satire of retail
work with ludicrous anime comedy action.
Golden Friday Edition
The Golden Friday Edition of Retail Magic is a special basic pre-released version to get it out into the world
and see what people make of it. It contains all of the basic rules needed to play the game, but lacks the
examples, replays, items, commerce rules, and alternate modern-day setting that will go into the final version.
It came about, perhaps appropriately, because the designer was unemployed and feverishly making things to
keep from having nonstop panic attacks.

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Inspirations
This game is a blend of Western fantasy as executed in Japan and a satire of retail work with American
sensibilities. The fantasy side draws on anime and manga like Slayers and Dragon Half, video games like Dragon
Quest and Final Fantasy, and to a lesser extent Dungeons & Dragons. The retail side draws on works like Clerks,
Are You Being Served?, and Norm Feuti’s Retail comic strip, but the kind of humor the game’s rules will work
to foster will often be more along the lines of the frantic, violent weirdness of Slayers. The place where the
two halves meet is of course the computer game Recettear, which is well worth your time to look at for inspi-
ration.
Feel free to give the genre elements whatever spin you like, especially if it makes the game more fun for you.
If you think the setting should be more like old-school sword and sorcery, or Game of Thrones, or Tolkien, or
whatever other flavor of fantasy you happen to like, go for it. If you play Dungeons & Dragons or other fantasy
RPGs, go ahead and toss in whatever references to them you like.
Norm Feuti’s book Pretending You Care: The Retail Employee Handbook is a funny, blunt, and accurate look at
the life of a retail worker. It’s ideal if you want to inject an accurate picture of modern retail life into your
game, though that might make it kind of depressing.
Here are some other titles you might look at for ideas:
• Anime: Dragon Half, Slayers
• Roleplaying Games: Maid RPG, Dungeons & Dragons, GURPS Discworld
• Computer Games: Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, Recettear
• Movies: Clerks, Office Space
• Television: Are You Being Served?, Better Off Ted, Fawlty Towers, The Office
• Other: Discworld (Terry Pratchett’s novels), Retail (the comic by Norm Feuti)

Getting Started
Retail Magic is a role-playing game, so there are a few things you’ll need to do before you can start playing.
One person is going to need to be the Game Master, or “GM” for short. Their role is more demanding than
the rest, but can be a lot of fun in its own way. If you’re the GM, you should take some time to read and
understand the rules of this game before you get together to play. It doesn’t hurt for the players to know the
rules too, but the GM really needs to have a good grasp of them.
Other Things You’ll Need
You’re also going to need to prepare a few things before you can play.
Paper and Pencils: Naturally you’ll need some paper to write things down on. Ideally each player should have
a character sheet; you can photocopy the one in the back of the book, or get a PDF of the sheet from our
website. Failing that blank paper will work fine. You’ll also need pencils to write things down and occasionally
erase.
Six-Sided Dice: Dice provide an essential random element for the game. You’ll need a few standard six-sided
dice, though it’s helpful to have them in different colors. Lots of stores sell these, though hobby game stores
have them in more interesting patterns and colors. If you have a smartphone there are plenty of dice rolling

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apps you can use instead, and if you’re playing online, most means of chatting/posting allow you to set up
some means of rolling dice.
A Timer: The Stress Explosion rules (see p. 17) call for keeping track of things in real time. In person you
can use a timer function/app on a smartphone or tablet, a standalone timer, a program on your computer,
or just check the clock. For play by post games you can set a conversion rate (say by making a round of posting
the equivalent of 4 minutes of Stress Explosion).
Some Friends: You’ll need a few friends to play this game with. You normally need one person to be the
Game Master and at least 2 other players. I’ve run it with as many as 6 players, but that starts to stretch the
limits of what my brain can handle.
A Place to Play: You’ll need somewhere to get everyone together to play. This could be your dining room,
the play space at a local game store, an online chat room, or whatever else works.
A Time to Play: Although it’s possible to get down to a quick session of an hour or so, you usually need more
like 2-3 hours to play this game once, probably a bit more if you’re playing via a text-based chat. You can play
the same characters over the course of multiple sessions (a campaign), or just play once.
Preparing to Play
The GM will have to devise the magic shop and its boss. You can just make something up and follow the
guidelines on p. 18, use the samples in the “First Day” scenario on p. 36, or use the creation rules on p. 29
and 32. You’ll also need to decide what style of play you’ll be using (see p. 28), and prepare a scenario if you’re
going to go that route.
Each player is going to need to create an employee. Follow the rules starting on p. 7. One way to make this
move more quickly is for the GM to have the book, and then for each step of character creation the GM has
the players roll in turn and the GM tells them what’s on the table.
Rolling Dice
Throughout this book the rules will make reference to different ways of rolling dice using a special shorthand.
Here are what these things mean:
#d6: When the game calls for a number followed by “d6,” you roll that many six-sided dice and total up
whatever numbers they show.
d66: Get two six-sided dice, and designate one as the tens digit and the other as the ones digit. Roll them and
put the results together to get one of 36 possible items numbered 11 through 66. One trick I have is that if I
get a result that’s hard to use on a d66 table, I’ll swap the digits and see if that gives me something I can use
better.
d666: Roll three six-sided dice, with a die each for the hundreds, tens, and ones digits. This gives you one of
216 possible results numbered 111 through 666.

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Chapter 1: Creating Your Employee
Each player gets to make an employee. Get a character sheet, a pencil, and some dice ready, and start rolling!
With the exception of your attributes, if the GM allows and if you don’t take up too much time you can re-
roll or even just outright choose things if you insist.

Step 1: Attributes
Your character’s attributes represent how competent they are at different kinds of actions. Roll 2d6 and divide
by 3 (round down) for each of the six attributes below. Be sure to write these in pencil, because they’ll be
changing in the next step.
• Athletics: Physical and combat ability.
• Cunning: Your ability to deceive others to get what you want.
• Guts: How well can you assert your own will and withstand adversity?
• Luck: Do you feel lucky? Well, we have a stat for that.
• Presence: The ability to make friends and influence people.
• Work: This is your ability to do useful things, like keeping the store in shape.

Step 2: Employee Types

Roll 1d6 twice on the table below to determine your character’s two Employee Types and apply the listed
modifiers to your attributes. You can get the same Type twice, in which case you apply its modifiers twice. An
attribute can only go as low as zero; if the attribute adjustments would push it below zero, it becomes zero
instead.
1d6 Employee Type Attribute Adjustment Description
1 Adventurer +1 Athletics, –1 Work A hardy but rough adventurer.
2 Charisma +1 Presence, –1 Athletics Someone relies on charm rather than physicality.
3 Expert +1 Work, –1 Luck You bring actual skill and knowledge.
4 Lazy +1 Luck, –1 Cunning You’d rather exert minimal effort if possible.
5 Slick +1 Cunning, –1 Guts Get any advantage, any way you can.
6 Weirdo +1 Guts, –1 Presence You’re strange, furtive, and independent.
Step 3: Employee Special Qualities
Next, you’re going to roll up your character’s Special Qualities. These cover a wide variety of physical and
mental traits that will help define her. The Employee Special Qualities table on p. 11 has 126 different pos-
sible options. By default each character gets 3 Special Qualities, but if the GM allows, you can have 4 or 5.
Although Pastoria is home to countless different races, humans are by far the most common, so characters
are assumed to be human unless a Special Quality says otherwise. It is however possible for a character to
have multiple Special Qualities indicating that they’re more than one type of non-human at the same time.
Keep in mind that in this world just about anything can potentially mate with just about anything else. Some-
times this involves esoteric magic, and sometimes it just involves copious amounts of alcohol. Half-breeds
(and other, weirder combination) are all the more likely to end up in the magical retail trade.

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Step 4: Employee Roots
Your “Roots” are how you came to be working at the store. Make a d66 roll on the table below.
d66 Roots Description
11 Admiration You have a deep admiration for someone at the shop that led you to apply.
12 Ambitious Peasant You left the fiefdom behind, intent on bettering yourself in town!
13 Amnesia You have no memory of your past life, and you’re starting over at the store.
14 Apprenticeship The boss is your master, and you’re their apprentice, here to learn the trade.
15 Blackmailed The boss (or someone else?) has some dirt on you and is making you work here.
16 Blackmailing the Boss You’ve got some dirt on the boss, and you’re using it to get a job.
21 Childhood Friend The boss is your childhood friend, and was nice enough to give you a job.
22 Contrived Inheritance You stand to inherit a fortune, but you’ve got to work at this shop to do it.
23 Debts You owe so much money. You have to take any work you can to pay it off.
24 Desperation You think of yourself as respectable, but right now you can’t be choosy.
25 Dilettante You’re a noble with nothing better to do, so why not work in this shop?
26 Disgraced Noble Once a member of a great noble house, some disgrace has reduced you to retail.
31 Family Connections You have some family connection to the boss that landed you a job.
32 Family to Support You’ve got a family to support, so you need to work hard and earn money.
33 First Job Fresh from school, full of ideas, this is your very first job!
34 Harried In-Law You married into the boss’ family, so they’re using you as cheap labor for now.
35 Industrial Espionage You’re actually spying on the boss at the behest of some other business owner.
36 Land of Opportunity You came to this land seeking opportunities to better yourself!
41 Mercantile Ambitions You’re going to be a great merchant someday, and this is the first step!
42 Orphan You have no family of your own, but the boss took you in.
43 Reformed Criminal You took the job to help put your criminal past behind you.
44 Runaway You ran away from home, and this is the job you ended up with.
45 Secret Love You’re secretly in love with someone at the shop.
46 Secret Mission Pursuing a secret mission requires you to pose as an employee at this shop.
51 Secret Royalty You’re actually a member of a royal family, seeing how the commoners live.
52 Shop Resident The shop happens to be your home as well as your workplace.
53 Sick Relative One of your relatives is very sick, and you must work hard to pay for medicine.
54 Squatter You were living in the building before the shop came, and never left.
55 Starving Artist Your true ambition is to be an artist, but for now you need to eat.
56 Stranded Foreigner You come from a distant land, and now you’re stuck here in Pastoria.
61 Stranded Outworlder A portal or some other contrivance deposited you in this world, far from home.
62 Summoned The boss (or another employee) summoned you, and now you’re stuck.
63 Under a Curse Someone put you under a curse that prevents you from doing anything else.
64 Undercover Watchman You’re actually a copper, working for the city watch, but don’t tell anyone.
65 Unemployed Hero You’re actually an adventurer, but haven’t been able to find any quests lately.
66 World Domination Working at this store is just a stepping stone on the way to world domination!

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Step 5: Employee Weapon
Your Employee Weapon is some weapon, object, or technique your character can use to fight. In game terms
this is just flavoring, and the different weapons don’t actually affect die rolls.
d66 Weapon d66 Weapon
11 Arquebus 41 Holy Symbol
12 Axe 42 Katana
13 Bombs 43 Kitchen Implement
14 Book 44 Knives
15 Boomerang 45 Mace/Hammer
16 Bow 46 Martial Arts
21 Brawling 51 Pole Arm
22 Broken Bottles 52 Psionics
23 Buster Sword 53 Scythe
24 Cards 54 Shuriken
25 Chain 55 Sorcery
26 Chainsaw 56 Spear
31 Club 61 Staff
32 Crossbow 62 Sword
33 Eye Beams 63 Vase/Pot
34 Fireworks 64 Wand of Fireballs
35 Furniture 65 Whip
36 Holy Magic 66 Wrestling
Step 6: Stress Explosion
Your Stress Explosion is what happens when you suffer too much Stress and lose it. Use the d66 table below
to get one. See p. 17 for info on how Stress Explosions work.
d66 Stress Explosion d66 Stress Explosion
11 Acting Spoiled 41 Micro-Management
12 Basking in Delusions 42 Music
13 Binge Eating 43 Obsessively Counting Things
14 Breaking Things 44 Playing Games
15 Bullying 45 Prayer
16 “Creative” Cooking 46 Reading
21 Criticizing Others 51 Running Away
22 Crying 52 Sadism
23 Cuddling a Plushie 53 Setting Things on Fire
24 Drinking 54 Shopping
25 Enraged Yelling 55 Singing
26 Gambling 56 Sleep (or Trying to Sleep)
31 Hiding in a Box 61 Stealing
32 Holing Up in Your Room 62 Talking to Inanimate Objects
33 Indiscriminate Violence 63 Teasing
34 Lamenting Your Worthlessness 64 Unholy Rituals
35 Making Corny Jokes/Punning 65 Whining
36 Masochism 66 Wrestling

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Step 7: Colors
Roll colors for your character’s eyes and hair, and two colors for their outfit.
d66 Color d66 Color
11-12 Red 41-42 Gray
13-14 Orange 43-44 Pink
15-16 Yellow 45-46 Brown
21-22 Green 51-52 Cream
23-24 Blue 53-54 Silver
25-26 Indigo 55-56 Gold
31-32 Violet 61-62 Copper
33-34 Black 63-64 Platinum
35-36 White 65-66 Rainbow
Step 8: Finishing Touches
There are just a couple more little things to do to finish up your character.
Calculate your Stress Limit and starting Kudos as follows:
• Stress Limit: Guts × 10
• Starting Kudos: Work × 4
Decide on your character’s gender (if any), and write a brief description of their appearance. Lastly, give them
a name and assign an age. The legal age for working in retail is 16 for humans, but varies by race.

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Employee Special Qualities Table
This table works much like the other d66 tables in the game, except that if you roll an entry with a star (★)
next to the name (which would be anything from 41-66), you will have to roll 1d6 on one of the sub-tables
below to get a more precise Special Quality.
d66 Special Quality Description
11 Glasses You wear glasses; you can decide what style.
12 Freckles You have a freckly complexion.
13 Sickly You’re kind of sickly, and can’t exert yourself too much.
14 Neat Freak Everything has to be clean and neat. EVERYTHING.
15 Klutz You’re clumsy, always falling over and knocking things down.
You’re not the brightest bulb in the… bulb-holding thing. Look, you’re not all
16 Airhead
that smart, okay?
21 Elf You’re one of the forest people, tall and thin, with pointed ears.
22 Dwarf You’re short, come from deep in the mountains, and probably love metal.
23 Knight Talk You talk like a cliché knight, saying “thou art” and whatnot all the time.
24 Pet You have a small pet that accompanies you. You can decide what kind.
25 Apron You wear an apron; you can decide on the style and material.
26 Sweet Tooth You’ve got a definite taste for sweet things.
31 Armor For some reason you wear armor in everyday life.
32 Maid/Butler You dress in the manner of a maid or butler.
33 Cross-Dresser You dress pretty convincingly as the opposite sex.
You frequently get caught up in your own imaginary world, or else tend to day-
34 Overactive Imagination
dream a lot.
35 Scarred You have one or more wicked-looking scars. You can decide what kind.
You frequently wear a fuzzy mascot costume. Does the boss make you wear it, or
36 Kigurumi
are you just into that kind of thing?
41 Personality Quirk★ There’s some quirk in your personality, probably an annoying one.
42 Skin★ Your skin has some kind of unusual shade or marking.
Your hairstyle is one of your notable traits. There are separate tables for male
43 Hair★
and female hairstyles; roll on whichever one you think will suit your character.
44 Facial Features★ There’s something unusual about your face. Just saying.
45 Issues★ You have issues. Roll to see what kind.
46 Secret★ You’ve got a secret you don’t want anyone to find out.
51 Accessory★ You wear a distinctive accessory.
52 Prop★ You have a prop that you carry around.
53 Jewelry★ You wear some kind of jewelry.
54 Outfit★ You wear a particular archetypal outfit.
55 Anachronism★ You’ve got something that doesn’t fit in this pseudo-medieval setting.
56 Profession★ You practice a profession that might be of some actual practical value.
61 Common Class★ You are of one of the more common adventuring classes.
62 Uncommon Class★ You are of a somewhat unusual adventuring class.
63 Unusual Race★ You’re of one of the less common races in the world.
64 Rare Race★ You are a member of one of the rarer races in the world.
65 Monster★ You’re a monster, but you can still be a productive member of society.
66 Planar★ You are a being native to a different plane.

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41. Personality Quirk
Roll Special Quality Description
You fit the “tsundere” cliché, which means that you’re outwardly prickly and
1 Tsundere
hostile (tsun-tsun), but lovestruck and melty (dere-dere) underneath.
2 Shy You’re rather shy, and have trouble interacting with new people.
3 Arrogant Let’s face it, you’re just awesome and anyone who disagrees with you is stupid.
4 Lazy They want you to do things? What would be better is if you didn’t do things.
5 Naïve You’re rather naïve, and don’t understand the ways of the world.
6 Gluttonous For you it’s all about putting food in your mouth, the more the better.
42. Skin
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Dark Skin Your skin is unusually dark.
2 Pale Skin Your skin is unusually pale.
3 Tattoos You have tattoos of some kind on your skin.
4 Forehead Marking You have some sort of marking on your forehead.
5 Glowing Markings You have markings on your skin that glow.
6 Odd Skin Color Your skin is of an odd color.
43a. Hair: Female
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Twin Tail You have two long pigtails.
2 Ahoge You have “idiot hair,” a sprig of hair that sticks up from the top of your head.
3 Bobbed Hair Your hair is in a short, rounded style that looks cute.
4 Drill Hair You have pigtails that each form a helix, making “drills” of hair.
5 Ponytail You have a ponytail.
6 Long, Flowing Hair Your hair is long and flowing, giving you a more feminine look.
43b. Hair: Male
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Short Spiky Hair Your hair is short and spiky. Be sure to keep some hair gel on hand.
2 Shaved You have a shiny shaved head.
3 Sweet Beard You have some rather impressive facial hair.
4 Bowl Cut Hair Your hair is cut short, forming a sort of dome on top of your head.
5 Ponytail You have a ponytail.
6 Long Hair You have long hair, in a manly kind of way.
44. Facial Features
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Heterochromia One of your eyes is of a different color than the other. It’s kinda creepy.
2 Glowing Eyes Not necessarily all the time, but your eyes do glow.
3 Fangs You have particularly pronounced canine teeth.
4 Cat Eyes Your eyes are slitted like a cat’s.
5 No Nose You’re just so cute that you don’t quite seem to have a nose.
6 Third Eye You’ve got a third eye, probably in your forehead. What can you see through it?

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45. Issues
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Pyromaniac Setting things on fire is fun!
2 Kleptomaniac You can’t help but try to steal things.
3 Wanted The authorities want to talk to you about something.
4 Kitty Talk Your speech is littered with little mewing cat sounds.
5 Raised by Wolves Your upbringing gives you a love of raw meat and howling, and a dislike of baths.
6 Raised by Dwarfs You tend to slouch, and have a particular appreciation for metallurgy.
46. Secret
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Secret Society You are a part of a secret society of some kind, pursuing secret aims.
2 Cult You’re part of a freaky religious cult.
3 Government Agent You’re actually working for the Crown.
4 Cursed Lineage Your family has a terrible curse!
5 Immortal You’ve lived for centuries, and you might just live forever.
6 Otaku You have an obsessive need to collect pictures and figures of cute girls.
51. Accessory
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Bow/Bowtie You wear some kind of bow or ribbons, or maybe a bowtie.
2 Spikes You wear metal spikes!
3 Eye Patch Did something happen to your eye? What’s underneath there?
You wear some kind of goggles. These can be simple, high-tech, or ornamental
4 Goggles
steampunk things.
5 Necktie or Scarf You wear a tie or scarf of some kind.
6 Hat You wear some kind of hat. You can decide what style.
52. Prop
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Plushie You carry a plush toy of some kind everywhere you go.
2 Clipboard People seldom see you without your trusty clipboard.
3 Abacus Any time people need arithmetic done, you’re ready to go!
4 Rose Hey, you never know when a pretty flower will come in handy.
5 Toolbox You’ve got a handy box of tools of some kind.
6 Pipe You’re seldom without a pipe to smoke that sweet pipeweed.
53. Jewelry
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Crown You wear a crown! You must be royalty, or think of yourself as such.
2 Pendant You wear a pendant on a necklace. What kind of object or symbol does it bear?
3 Earrings You wear some kind of earrings. You can decide what kind.
4 Ring You wear one or more rings on your fingers. What is its significance?
5 Necklace You wear some kind of necklace.
6 Bracelet You wear a bracelet around your wrist.

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54. Outfit
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Kilt You wear a plaid pleated skirt, in the tradition of the highland peoples.
2 Overalls You wear these sturdy, practical coveralls.
3 Fancy Ruffles Whatever your outfit is, it also has fancy ruffles and lace.
4 Priest Vestments You wear the garb of some kind of priest (or priestess).
5 Military Uniform You insist on wearing a military uniform.
6 Wizard/Witch Garb You dress like a wizard or witch, complete with pointy hat.
55. Anachronism
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Sunglasses You have sweet shades. You can decide what style.
2 Formalwear You wear modern Western formalwear of some kind.
3 Cell Phone You carry around a cell phone. We don’t know how that works either.
4 Polo Shirt & Slacks You dress like a modern American retail worker.
5 Video Game You’ve got some kind of portable video game system.
6 Music Player You have some kind of modern music player; you can decide what kind.
56. Profession
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Doctor You’re a trained medical professional of some sort.
2 Artificer Surprisingly, you have actual training in making magic items. It’s very technical.
3 Farmer You used to be a farmer. I guess you’re good with animals and plants?
4 Sailor You used to work on a ship, sailing the high seas.
5 Artisan You know how to make some kind of quality practical items.
6 Thespian You are an ACTOR! Show them the power of your ACTING!
61. Common Class
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Mage You trained in the arcane arts, letting you cast dangerous spells now and then.
2 Cleric Your dedication to a god and penchant for chainmail give you healing powers.
3 Thief Stealth, finding traps, and taking things that don’t belong to you.
4 Bard You have a talent for music that can inspire people, if not always in a good way.
5 Fighter Put a sword in your hand and you know how to stick it in the enemy.
6 Barbarian You’re a warrior, but fond of wearing loincloths and going berserk.
62. Uncommon Class
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Paladin You are a holy knight, and a paragon of Lawful Good.
2 Ranger You’re a warrior of nature, a skilled tracker, and friend to animals.
3 Alchemist You know how to get into trouble by mixing different chemicals together.
4 Warlord A military leader who’s fond of shouting at people to do better.
5 Druid You’re a nature priest, who occasionally turns into an animal form.
6 Monk Training in the esoteric unarmed fighting arts of the east doesn’t pay the rent.

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63. Unusual Race
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Gnome Gnomes are a race of short people, fond of illusions and seldom seen on lawns.
The Wild Folk are people with the ears and tails of different kind of animals (cat,
2 Wild Folk
dog, rabbit, wolf, fox, tiger, etc.).
3 Halfling Halflings are another kind of short people, fond of pipeweed and eating a lot.
4 Troll Trolls are an ancient race of rock-people, not known for their intelligence.
5 Half-Orc When a human and an orc love each other very much…
You’re a draconic humanoid. Some are dragonmen covered in scales, others look
6 Dracon
like humans with some dragon traits.
64. Rare Race
Roll Special Quality Description
Though you look mostly human, you are actually an artificial being, an artifact
1 Arcadian
left behind by the Forerunners.
2 Ironforged You’re a living construct, basically a magical sentient robot.
3 Dark Elf These black-skinned underground elves are shunned, and kind of emo about it.
In your natural form you look like a pale humanoid, but you can change shape
4 Changeling
to look like others.
5 Ogrekin Ogrekin are tall, muscular humanoids who sport horns.
6 Naga You’re human from the waist up, but a giant snake from the waist down.
65. Monster
Roll Special Quality Description
You happen to be an actual dragon. Lucky for you, dragons can take on human
1 Dragon
form, though they show some dragon traits.
2 Slime You happen to be a sentient dollop of goo.
3 Merfolk You’re a fish from the waist down! That sounds inconvenient.
4 Pixie You’re a little fairy with gossamer wings.
5 Centaur From the waist down you’re a horse, or maybe some other four-legged animal.
You’re a vampire or some other kind of undead. Do you feast on the living, or
6 Vampire/Undead
do you just look dead-y?
66. Planar
Roll Special Quality Description
1 Angel You are a denizen of the celestial realms; you can have wings, a halo, etc.
2 Devil You hail from the lower planes, and probably have horns and such.
3 Elementalor You’re a humanoid with the power of one of the four elements inside you.
4 Minor Demigod There’s at least one god in your family tree, which is mostly just annoying.
5 Ghost You are a ghost who lingers in the living world for some reason.
6 Shadow Folk You come from the hated Shadow Tribe of the Plane of Shadow.

15
Chapter 2: Rules of Play
Retail Magic is a game with a small number of impactful rules, and a lot of things that provide flavor without
any formal rules attached per se. This is important to remember for things like weapons and Special Qualities.
The rules determine the things they determine, and by and large you can treat the rest as flavor. A battle for
example still uses the same conflict rules, whether your weapon is a broom or a laser cannon pulled from
another dimension.

Action Resolution
To determine how well a character can perform a given action, roll 1d6 and multiply by the relevant attribute.
The number you get is called your Result. Normally the GM will set a Difficulty number that the player needs
to match or exceed in order to succeed, but when two characters are acting directly against each other you’ll
use the Conflict rules below.
Difficulty Number Effect
4-6 A little challenging, but not too hard.
6-8 Hard for an amateur, but pretty easy for a pro.
8-10 Something only a pro can pull off.
10+ Difficult even for a pro.
Getting Tricky With Attributes
It will often be obvious which attribute a character can use for a given action, but you can try to use an
unusual attribute by coming up with an unusual means of pursuing the task at hand.
Incompetent Characters
If a character has an attribute at 0, they’ll always fail at any action you roll for (any result on 1d6 gets multiplied
by 0 and becomes 0 after all) unless they spend Kudos to improve their chances (see below). Keep in mind
that if you have an attribute at zero, permanently raising it to 1 only costs 10 Kudos.
Cooperative Actions
When characters work together towards a common goal, they can each make a roll and combine their respec-
tive Results towards accomplishing something.

Conflicts and Stress

A “conflict” is when two characters are acting against each other. This can include any kind of fighting imag-
inable, but also stuff like arguing, trying to cook the better breakfast, or most anything else that has a pair of
competing characters.
Both make rolls as per the usual Action Resolution rules. Whoever gets the higher result is the winner of the
conflict. The loser takes Stress points equal to the winner’s result divided by the attribute the loser used. If
the loser’s attribute is zero, divide by 1 instead. When your character takes Stress, note it down next to your
Stress Limit, and add it to any existing Stress.
Giving In
If you’re being targeted with a conflict and you don’t want to risk taking Stress (or just don’t care to fight
back), you can simply declare that you’re letting the other side win. This means you don’t have to roll, and
you won’t take any Stress from whatever it is, even if it puts you at a disadvantage in other ways.

16
Stress Explosions
If your accumulated Stress points are equal to or greater than your Stress Limit, you have a Stress Explosion.
Your character stays under your control, but you have to do stuff that falls within what your Stress Explosion
calls for. This lasts for a number of minutes of real time equal to the Stress points incurred, so you effectively
remove 1 Stress point per minute until it’s all gone. If you’ve taken 30 Stress and reached your Stress Limit,
you have to have your character do what her Stress Explosion calls for, for 30 minutes of real time.
If your Stress Limit is zero, you’ll go into your Stress Explosion any time you take Stress, but your Stress
Explosions will tend to be shorter.

Kudos
“Kudos” are points that a measure of how pleased the boss is with you. You start with some Kudos, and the
GM (or whoever is playing the boss) will be awarding more during the game based on how well you handle
things at the store.
Gaining Kudos
• 1d6: Handle everyday tasks in the store well.
• 2d6: Deliver unusually good customer service, make a major sale.
• 2d6-3d6: Make a huge sale, do a legitimate personal favor for the boss.
• 3d6-4d6: Go above and beyond the call of duty to save the boss or the store from major harm.
An employee who causes problems could lose 1d6 to 3d6 Kudos too.
Spending Kudos
• Remove Stress: You can remove as many points of Stress as you want by spending 1 Kudo per point
of Stress.
• Increase an Attribute: You can permanently raise an attribute by 1 by spending Kudos equal to 10
times the new attribute rank (e.g., raising an attribute from 1 to 2 costs 20 Kudos).
• Enhance a Roll: Spend 1d6 Kudos to add +1 to either your attribute or your effective die roll.
• Invoke a Random Event: You can spend 1d6 Kudos to have a Random Event occur.
Running Out of Kudos
If you wind up with less than zero Kudos, your employee is in danger of getting fired! To avoid being fired
you need to get to zero or more Kudos. You can do this by reducing one of your attributes by 1. This gives
you Kudos equal to 10 times the new rank of the attribute, so for example if you lower your Guts from 3 to
2, that gives you 20 Kudos.

17
NPCs
When you play Retail Magic, your characters will run into other weirdoes controlled by the GM, which is
where Non-Player Characters (NPCs) come into the picture. In this game it’s not really necessary to make up
detailed stats for NPCs, though you can if you really want. This section has some guidelines to let you quickly
and easily toss together NPCs.
NPC Type Attributes Stress Limit
Minion/Normal Person 1 0
Minor Enemy 2 0-5
Average Enemy 3 0-15
Boss Enemy 4 5-15
Super Boss Enemy 5 5-15
Godlike Enemy 6 10-20
NPCs with Stress Limits on par with PCs would tend to make for overly drawn-out battles, so the Stress Limits
in the table above will tend to be significantly less than the usual Guts x 10. Instead, a more powerful NPC’s
higher attribute ranking will ensure that they take less Stress in the first place.
Also, NPCs don’t normally have Stress Explosions like PCs. Instead, and NPC who takes more Stress than
his or her Stress Limit will simply be knocked unconscious or destroyed as appropriate.

The Store
In this game all the major action takes place at a particular magic item shop. Although there is a town around
the store, think of the game like a sitcom with a limited number of sets (but mysteriously, an unlimited special
effects budget), and try to keep the action concentrated around the store and its immediate surroundings.
Unless it’s critical for the story, try to limit events in other locations to brief summaries.
The store can take just about any form imaginable; it is a magic shop after all. They can range from a normal-
looking shop to something weird and fanciful. The store needs to be able to let customers come in and buy
things of course, but that can take a huge variety of forms too.
You can simply make up the details of the store, or there are a set of tables to roll on to generate a store on
p. 32.

The Boss
The boss is the person (or other being) who runs the store. The employees need to do what the boss says and
keep them happy (more or less), since the boss is the one who runs the business and pays them. The boss isn’t
someone who can handle everything on their own—hence the need for employees—but they do generally have
some kind of talent or something that lets them keep a business afloat, for now at least.
It’s entirely possible for a game to feature more than one boss. The business might belong to a married couple,
siblings, two business partners, or a similar arrangement. There’s a danger of cluttering the game with too
many characters, and if you do have multiple bosses you should try to make their interactions in such a way
that they make the game more interesting. Any partnership is going to have conflicts, and employees may be
in the unenviable position of being caught in the middle. Regardless, each boss character can award and take
away Kudos independently.

18
You can treat the boss as an NPC with Attributes 2 and a Stress Limit of 10 if you want to keep things simple,
though unlike a normal NPC the Boss has a Stress Explosion. Give the character a name and as much other
details as you think you need. There are also optional rules for rolling up the boss as a full character, suitable
for use as an NPC or even a PC, on p. 29.

Random Event Tables

This section has the all-important Random Event table. Players can invoke Random Events by spending 1d6
Kudos, but they’re also a great tool for the GM. If you’re stumped for what to have happen next, you can just
roll for a random event. If you want to write up a scenario ahead of time, you can roll a few random events
to help brainstorm. However, if you want to use a pre-planned scenario it’s best to either eliminate random
events from the game during play, or make a new random event table especially for that scenario. Otherwise,
random events will make the whole thing fly off on random tangents.
During play the GM can choose to temporarily disallow players adding more random events if the game is
getting too difficult to handle from how it’s swerving around all the time. Also, if the player triggers a random
event the GM can ask the player to fill in its details a little more. If a random event says a giant monster is
attacking, you can ask the player what kind of monster is attacking and why.
Many random events call for something to happen to a random player character. You can determine this any
way you like, but the simplest thing is usually to roll a die (re-roll if the number is greater than the number of
players) and count around the table.
This game comes with a set of six Random Event tables for different styles and flavors. You can pick one that
fits your needs and make a d66 roll on it, or just make a d666 roll to get any one of the 216 events.
# Event Type Notes
100 General A general assortment of various events that can shake things up a bit.
200 Happenings Relatively minor random events that won’t disrupt the overall story too much.
300 Customers A table of nothing but different kinds of customers coming into the store
400 Society Events relating to the society of the town in different ways.
500 Magic Events having to do with magic being crazy and whimsical.
600 Disasters Major upheavals that bring some massive trouble to the scene.

19
100 - General
Roll Random Event
111 A wild animal is loose in the area.
112 A customer collapses in front of the store, having arrived after a long journey.
113 A cart crashes through the front of the store!
114 A competing magic item shop opens across the street!
115 A pushy salesman comes by the store trying to sell stuff to the employees.
116 There’s a fire in the store!
121 Discovered a hidden room in the back, which contains something unsavory.
122 A legendary thief leaves a calling card at the store.
123 The usual merchandise delivery included an extra package. And something is stirring inside...
124 A ghost (Attributes 2/Stress Limit 10) is haunting the store and scaring off all the customers!
125 Ninjas attack the store!
126 Two random characters suddenly swap bodies.
131 A public official shows up to the store for a surprise inspection.
132 Bandits (Attributes 2/Stress Limit 5) try to hold up the store and take the money from the cash register.
133 The store has a special sale that attracts a giant horde of customers.
134 A ridiculously rich person comes to gloat about how their new superstore will put you out of business.
135 Someone finds a treasure map!
136 A big storm is coming!
141 One of the employees receives an anonymous love letter.
142 Three words: Purple. Hairy. Spiders.
143 A part-timer built a golem out of spare parts in the stock room, and now it’s going berserk.
144 The boss joins a strange cult, and may try to get the employees to join.
145 A legendary sword is stuck in the floor. Whoever pulls it out may have a special destiny.
146 The boss loses their memory!
151 A god possesses the employee with the highest Presence!
A girl claiming to be a princess ducks into the store to escape the strange men (Attributes 2/Stress Limit 10)
152
who are pursuing her.
153 A dragon takes up residence in the back of the store and tries to begin a hoard with the merchandise.
154 An assassin targets the boss!
155 An item in the store opens to release a dangerous demon.
156 A newspaper reporter comes to do a story about the store.
161 An item in the store turns out to contain a genie, who will grant one wish.
162 A forgotten god manifests in the shop due to obscure ritual conditions, and curses a random employee.
163 An ancient high-tech battlefortress hangs in the sky, ready to annihilate entire continents at any moment.
164 Orcs invade!
165 An ancient dragon comes to the land, intent on taking over!
166 The Dark Lord’s armies are marching on this land!

20
200 - Happenings
Roll Random Event
211 A stray cat wanders into the store.
212 A random employee trips and knocks something over.
213 There’s a cockroach in the store!
214 There’s a leak in the roof!
215 It starts raining outside.
216 A random employee catches a bad cold.
221 You stumble across something illegal a prior employee left at the store.
222 A customer accidentally left a wallet or purse with a large amount of money inside.
223 A random employee finds a worrisome memo from corporate.
224 A random employee gets the hiccups.
225 There are strange sounds from the manager’s office.
226 A shipment of merchandise is late.
231 A constable from the watch stops by.
232 The boss needs someone to work late.
233 A neighbor would like to borrow a cup of sugar.
234 The boss sends a random employee on an errand.
235 The store receives an odd-looking new mannequin.
236 A mama cat gave birth to kittens in the store.
241 The way out of the store is blocked!
242 The boss sets up a suggestion box to get ideas for how to improve the store.
243 It’s a random employee’s birthday!
244 The boss hires a new security guard to deal with an increase in theft.
245 The store holds a fire drill.
246 The boss hires a very attractive young woman who draws in all the customers’ attention.
251 The boss and an employee are both late. Are they having an affair?!
252 A group of holy men who are visiting the city stop in at the store to look around.
253 The boss tells everyone to wear costumes for the upcoming holiday.
254 The boss decides to assign everyone to different departments to let them get more experience.
255 A rich customer offers a substantial reward for an item she lost in the store.
256 The boss has food poisoning!
261 The shop is being remodeled and will have to close for a while.
262 A random employee’s mother shows up at the shop.
263 There’s a sudden glut of customers and the store is packed!
264 The boss needs someone to help with an obscure technical matter.
265 The boss sends a random employee to make a delivery.
266 A random employee receives a letter from home.

21
300 - Customers
Roll Random Event
311 A mother comes in with her son, hoping to buy him his first magic sword so he can start adventuring.
A terrible demon (Attributes 4/Stress Limit 10) comes to the store. He just wants to buy something, but
312
he’s quick to anger if anything isn’t to his liking.
313 A mother leaves her kids in the store while she goes to get her hair done. The kids go completely nuts.
314 An angry, utterly irrational customer shows up and demands a refund for something.
315 A writer comes to the store to hang out and work on his novel without really buying anything.
316 A housewife with nothing better to do starts chatting and won’t stop.
321 The customer turns out to actually be a missionary for the Church of Grandius, God of Light and Justice.
322 A young nobleman who doesn’t understand that he can’t just take whatever he wants.
323 The customer has a stack of dodgy coupons they insist must be valid.
324 The customer wanders around the store, picking up random items and leaving them in random places.
325 The customer has a messy food item, and just drops it any old place.
326 A dragon who just has to get a very specific collectible item to complete his collection.
331 A troll who can just barely speak the common tongue comes in grunting about something.
332 A kook from the Pastorian People’s Front comes in to tell you about the injustices of the crown.
333 A drunk stumbles in from a nearby tavern.
334 A goblin comes in, reeking of whatever horrible thing it is goblins smell like.
335 A novice secret shopper comes in, intent on testing the employees on their product knowledge.
336 A poor urchin comes in planning to steal something.
A sorceress known for leaving destruction everywhere she goes comes to the store looking for dangerous
341
spell components.
342 A lady with a flower growing out of her head comes in and talks at length about UFOs.
343 An incredibly literal-minded golem comes in to purchase something extremely specific.
344 A woman walks into the store, barely aware of what’s going on because she’s chatting on her cell phone.
345 A wide-eyed, naïve young person hoping to apply for a job.
346 A rowdy band of adventurers who need to sell off, restock, and upgrade items after their latest adventure.
351 The customer turns out to be a missionary for the Church of Valmar, God of Darkness and Murder.
352 A creepy guy comes in and tries to hit on any female employees (or customers).
353 A woman looking for a crystal ball, who assumes that the employees don’t know what they’re talking about.
354 A guy who walks into the store and then passive-aggressively looks annoyed that no one’s serving him.
A man comes in hoping that the store has cart axles. It doesn’t occur to him that a magic shop might not in
355
fact be a cart repair shop, and this angers him.
356 A dread necromancer comes in seeking spell components that will help him take over the world.
361 A creepy guy who smells funny and never makes eye contact with anyone.
362 An elderly customer who spends several minutes sorting through a purse full of ancient coins.
A professor from the magic school who seems to have nothing better to do than critique the grammar and
363
spelling of the store’s products and signage.
364 A guy comes in with a half-melted sword (from sticking it into a corrosive slime monster) for a refund.
365 A brave young man who is shopping for a gift for his love, a woman who has everything.
366 A clearly underage kid tries to buy something with an obviously fake ID.

22
400 - Society
Roll Random Event
411 Road works begin on the street outside the shop, creating noise, dust and irritated customers.
412 The boss is getting married?!
413 A wanted criminal hides out in the shop, stealing cookies and coffee at night.
Rioting peasants demand better working conditions from the King! They storm the shop for weapons and
414
magic items to use.
415 Someone attempts to kidnap the boss!
416 The ruler of a neighboring kingdom who’s visiting Pastoria stops by the store.
421 Fake pilgrims bring a fake holy artifact to town, offering to sell it to the shop for a huge sum of gold.
422 Members of a minority group protest the actions of the store owner.
423 A random employee wins the national lottery. Now every man and his dog wants your financial help!
424 A band of thieves targets the store and steal 1d6 random items from the stock room.
425 The queen is ill and needs a magical ingredient or potion to cure her.
426 The campaign to elect a new town mayor is heating up!
431 Strange creatures are coming out of the sewers, frightening the locals.
432 There’s a bad flu going around town.
433 An officer of the merchant guild comes to the store to ask for help.
434 A wall collapses in the basement, opening a hidden passage leading to ancient ruins from a bygone age.
435 It’s a Bank Holiday, but no one remembered to tell the employees!
436 A family member of a random employee comes to the store begging for help.
441 A family of large, friendly giants take up residence near the town.
442 Doyle, the famous Barbarian Chieftain, visits the store looking for the Sword of Power.
443 The Pastoria Times lead journalist wants to interview the employees for a piece on worker’s rights.
444 There are rumors of the duke and duchess paying the store a visit.
445 The famous and beautiful consort of the king falls in love with the boss!
446 Refugees from the neighboring kingdom begin to stretch the town’s resources to the limit.
451 Someone tries to assassinate the king/queen, and they hide out in your shop.
452 The boss has an identical twin who claims to be the real boss!
453 A random employee is challenged to a duel over some unknown slight.
454 A wealthy noble offers to marry a random employee.
455 There’s gold in them thar hills! Miners from all walks of life infest the town, bringing cash and chaos.
456 The carnival arrives and sets up on the common next to the shop, with rides, cheap food, and games!
461 Pastoria Health and Safety arrive to check the store for any breaches of regulations.
462 A party of adventurers decides to act as vigilantes, putting down the local criminal gangs.
463 The boss’s mother/other family member turns up and starts bossing the boss and employees around.
464 Don Trumpet, the local gazillionaire, wants to buy the shop and turn it into Trumpet Towers!
465 A drunken hen/stag party bursts into the shop, spilling beer and chips everywhere.
466 It’s the king’s birthday and, as usual, all shops must pay tribute.

23
500 - Magic
Roll Random Event
511 A random item gains sentience and won’t shut up.
512 Color disappears from the land; everything is now muted in shades of gray.
513 A box of magic fireworks is delivered to the shop, timed to go off very soon…
The shop becomes haunted by the previous owner, who moans about how prices have risen and keeps
514
rearranging stock.
515 A celestial alignment makes it so that all magical effects are doubled.
516 A random employee sprouts cat ears!
521 A magical effect misfires, releasing a cloud of sprites that infest the shop.
A blue box with a flashing light on top appears out of nowhere, from which steps a man with a long scarf
522
offering jelly babies.
523 The shop becomes sentient, providing advice but unfortunately freaking out the customers!
524 A strange curse makes it so that the boss cannot tell a lie for one day.
525 An employee’s touch turns everything to gold!
526 Accidentally summoned a succubus.
531 The shop becomes enclosed in a solid magic shell! Nothing can get in or out!
532 A random employee turns invisible, except for their eyes.
533 A random spell gives everyone in the immediate area a case of temporary amnesia.
534 The hardness of some elements is reversed! Steel becomes like putty, cloth like steel.
535 The boss is accused of selling fake items and has to stand trial in the local court.
536 A random employee is infected with a rare magical disease.
541 All the labels on the magic potions get swapped around! Russian roulette anyone?
542 The boss is transformed into a troll and insists on sitting under a bridge built in his office.
543 Gravity in the shop is reversed, and everything floats gently to the ceiling.
544 All employees shrink to the size of mice, the shop becoming like a giant obstacle course.
545 Magic becomes erratic. Roll 1d6 any time something magical is used. On a 6, it fails to work!
546 The installation of the Infinite Improbability Engine as a power source brings havoc to the shop.
551 A celestial alignment makes it so that all magical effects are reversed.
552 A suit of armor becomes imbued with an evil spirit, which then goes on a rampage round the town.
553 Everyone is transported to random locations in a giant hedge maze, with the shop at the center!
554 An employee’s body becomes magnetic, attracting anything metal within reach.
555 The shop is magically transplanted to a different part of the city.
556 Time speeds up, with each hour lasting only a few minutes!
The shop becomes the setting for the hit play “Days of our Retail Lives.” You realize one of the walls is
561
missing and an audience is eagerly watching you!
562 Everyone in the shop turns into a ghost and cannot pick anything up!
The shop shrinks to the size of a dollhouse, as do all customers who knock on the (tiny) door. They return
563
to normal size when they leave.
564 The shop is transported, floating, into the middle of an ocean.
565 All doors in the shop randomly connect to other doors in the shop.
566 No one can speak, as all sound vanishes from the shop!

24
600 - Disasters
Roll Random Event
611 The sun stops giving off light and the world is plunged into perpetual darkness.
612 The local Run of the Bulls is diverted into the shop by a rival!
613 A mysterious ship arrives from another dimension, carrying terrible inter-dimensional pirates.
614 Vampires take over the ruling elite, demanding daily tributes of fresh blood.
615 Everyone in the town, including the Employees and Boss, are turned into monkeys with typewriters.
616 It snows, and snows and snows until the town is covered in meters deep drifts.
A red shooting star crosses the heavens, heralding the start of the Time of Change – all gold coins become
621
alive and declare themselves a new species!
Posters appear around town: “The World Ends in 3 Days. Please do not panic. Will the last person turn out
622
the lights?”
623 In the back of the store Mournbringer, an ancient rune sword with the power to shatter worlds, awakens.
624 The shop is caught in a temporal bubble, sending it hurtling backwards/forwards in time.
625 A horde of dirt-eating zombies are eating all the dirt in the kingdom!
626 Birds of all shapes and sizes begin to flock outside the shop, attacking everyone who enters or leaves.
631 Colossus, the ancient city-crushing war-golem, has been activated and is going on a rampage!
632 Death walks into the shop. Everyone needs to die, but he’s broken his scythe. Do they have a spare?
633 Grass, trees and bushes grow out of everything, turning the town into a dense forest.
634 Everyone agrees money is no longer required! Everything becomes free!
635 A dragon begins terrorizing the local area, eating all the local livestock and disrupting trade.
636 A portal to the elemental plane of water causes a massive flood!
641 A fleet of alien spaceships float overhead, ready to demolish the planet!
642 An earthquake sends the shop a mile into the sky on a pinnacle of rock. Got any rope in stock?
643 All food and drink spoils overnight, leaving Pastoria without sustenance.
644 The boss brings in Retailer 2000 Autonomous Sales Golems to replace the employees.
645 A plague breaks out and people stay indoors, afraid for their lives.
646 Cultists manage to summon Shrub-Todeth, the cosmic horror!
651 A plague of rats, locusts or frogs brings havoc to the town.
652 Wanted posters appear in the town with the employees’ faces on them!
653 Taxes are increased tenfold, stripping the shop of its wealth and sending the town into poverty.
654 A ridiculously charismatic goddess arrives in town, and everyone begins falling in love with her.
655 A necromancer moves into a nearby ruin, unleashing hordes of undead into the land.
656 A meteor is heading towards the world, threatening to destroy all life if it hits.
661 A sinkhole opens up, swallowing half the city and leaving the shop teetering on the edge.
662 War! A neighboring kingdom invades Pastoria demanding tribute for past crimes.
663 All plants wither and die, leaving Pastoria barren and lifeless.
664 War, Famine, Pestilence and Death stop by the shop for a decaf coffee and a chat.
665 A portal to heaven opens up, and an army of angels begins marching through!
666 A portal to hell opens up, and an army of demons begins marching through!

25
Spell Components Table
Over the course of the game the characters may wind up needing weird ingredients, for an eldritch ritual or
just for a customer, and this table will let you quickly roll up such ingredients.
d666 Component d666 Component d666 Component
111 Acorns 211 Chutzpah 311 Flat Beer
112 Agate 212 Cinnabar 312 Fool’s Gold
113 Almonds 213 Cinnamon (1 tsp.) 313 Four-Leaf Clover
114 Amber 214 Clay Pots 314 Free Samples
115 Anger 215 Clotted Cream 315 Fresh Berries
116 Antlers 216 Club Soda 316 Fresh Donuts
121 Anxiety 221 Coffee 321 Fresh Snow
122 Apples 222 Cookies, Chocolate Chip 322 Freshly Cut Grass
123 Ash 223 Cookies, Oatmeal Raisin 323 Fried Chicken
124 Bacon 224 Cookies, Shortbread 324 Garlic
125 Bad Puns 225 Coral 325 Giving 110%
126 Balanced Breakfast 226 Corn on the Cob 326 Glass
131 Banana Peel 231 Cotton 331 Gluten
132 Basil 232 Cow Tongue 332 Goat Blood
133 Bat Guano 233 Crab Claw 333 Goat Cheese
134 Beeswax 234 Cream Pie 334 Gold Dust
135 Birdsong 235 Crystal Ball 335 Gold Statue
136 Black Candles 236 Cute Plushie 336 Graphite
141 Bones 241 Dancing 341 Green Eggs
142 Boogers 242 Debt 342 Griffin Feather
143 Bread 243 Decorative Sword 343 Ham
144 Broken Lute 244 Diamond 344 Handkerchief
145 Broom 245 Dirt (from a grave) 345 Hat
146 Bucket 246 Dirt (normal) 346 Honey
151 Butter 251 Dog Breath 351 Horse Glue
152 Butterfly 252 Dragon Scales 352 Horseshoe
153 Cabbage 253 Duck 353 Hot Sauce
154 Cashews 254 Durian 354 Hourglass
155 Chain 255 Eggshell 355 Human Hair
156 Chalk 256 Elf Blood 356 Ice (20 pounds)
161 Chamomile 261 Eye of Newt 361 Jam, Raspberry
162 Charcoal 262 Face Paint 362 Jam, Strawberry
163 Chemical X 263 Fake French Accent 363 Key
164 Cherries 264 Feelings 364 Kobold Scales
165 Chess Pieces 265 Fire 365 Lamp Oil
166 Chutney 266 Fireflies 366 Lantern

26
d666 Component d666 Component d666 Component
411 Lead 511 Pears 611 Skull
412 Leaves 512 Phoenix Feather 612 Small Rocks
413 Lemon Juice 513 Pinch of Salt 613 Snake Skin
414 Lens 514 Pine Cones 614 Snow Globe
415 Live Spider 515 Pineapples 615 Soup
416 Lotus Flower 516 Pipeweed 616 Spider Web
421 Love Letter 521 Pixie Dust 621 Spoon
422 Magnet 522 Poached Salmon in a 622 Strawberries and Cream
White Wine Sauce
423 Mandrake 523 Poison Ivy 623 String
424 Marbles 524 Pomegranate 624 Sturdy Boots
425 Marmalade 525 Pretzel 625 Sugar
426 Math 526 Prism 626 Sulfur
431 Mercury 531 Prunes 631 Sunshine
432 Milk (nonfat) 532 Pumpkin 632 Tea (black)
433 Milk (soy) 533 Quartz 633 Tea (green)
434 Milk (whole) 534 Quinoa 634 Tea (herbal)
435 Mint 535 Quintessence (3 drams) 635 Tiara
436 Mirror 536 Rainbows 636 Tiger’s Blood
441 Mistletoe 541 Raw Meat 641 Toadstools
442 Mithril 542 Ribbon 642 Tongue of Frog
443 Mixed Nuts 543 Rose Petals 643 Toothpicks
444 Monkey’s Paw 544 Rotten Tomatoes 644 Total Silence
445 Moonlight 545 Ruby 645 Tree Bark
446 Mummy Bandage 546 Rye 646 Troll Tooth
451 Mushrooms 551 Saliva 651 True Love
452 Mustache 552 Sandwich 652 Tuning Fork
453 Octopus Tentacles 553 Sarcasm 653 Turtle Shell
454 Olive Oil 554 Schnitzel 654 Unobtanium
455 Onyx 555 Scones 655 Wasabi
456 Orange Juice 556 Scroll 656 Water
461 Oregano 561 Sea Bass 661 Whale Blubber
462 Orihalcum 562 Seashell 662 Wheat
463 Panache 563 Seaweed 663 Wing of Bat
464 Peach Pits 564 Shark Fin 664 Wood
465 Peacock Feather 565 Shillelagh 665 Wool
466 Pearl 566 Silver Bells 666 Xylophone

27
Styles of Play
Random Event Driven Play
We think of this as the default mode of play for Retail Magic. It’s certainly the style that provides the most
unique experience. The idea is pretty simple. You start out with the players role-playing their characters having
a normal day at the store and go from there. Let the players spend Kudos to trigger random events, and throw
them in yourself whenever you feel like the game is going too slowly. It probably won’t take long for the
random events to give you a trip into utter insanity. The GM should look for or outright create some kind of
larger conflict that the employees can tackle to bring the game to a satisfying conclusion. The Disasters ran-
dom event table is handy for this kind of thing.
Scenario-Based Play
Most role-playing games use what we might call “scenario-based” play. Rather than a process that provides
events on the fly, the game is based on a pre-made outline. There aren’t many hard and fast rules for creating
a scenario, except of course that the PCs should have a central role and the ability to make choices that affect
the outcome.
This book includes two introductory scenarios (see p. 36). These are designed for starting from zero and
making new characters, though you can of course create scenarios for existing characters. If anything, making
scenarios to fit characters you already know is much easier.
Scenarios can change what rules are being used in the game too. It’s usually necessary to leave out or at least
limit Random Events if you want the scenario to even survive, and for a non-violent scenario you can leave
out the Employee Weapons. Scenarios can also add bits of new rules too, for pretty much any part of the
game.
Kudos Race
With the PCs being store employees earning Kudos from the boss, it’s natural to consider a style of play where
the PCs are competing to get the most Kudos. It’s handy for convention games, especially if you have a prize
to give out.
Every time a player earns a die of Kudos, they also earn a Victory Point, and whoever gets the most Victory
Points wins the session. This ensures that the players are free to spend their Kudos as usual. If you’re willing
to get elaborate you might even set up a scoreboard.
When the game comes to a close, the winner gets to role-play some kind of special epilogue where their
character comes out ahead.
Campaign Play
While this game is perfectly good for one-shots, you can also use it for a “campaign,” a series of multiple game
sessions using the same characters. Characters keep their Kudos between sessions, but their Stress reset to
zero.
As the GM you can mix up the play styles from session to session however you see fit. You might kick things
off with one of the scenarios in this book, then do a random event-driven session, then do a kudos race and
give the winner some prize. If you want more of a story, you can craft a scenario yourself based on what
happened in the previous session.

28
Chapter 3: Boss Creation
The rules below let you roll up a boss character much like you would an employee. While you can gloss over
the boss’ stats if you want, these rules let you put together a more detailed boss character, suitable for use as
an NPC or even as a PC if you want to go that route.

Boss Rules
• The boss gets to assign Kudos to their employees; see p. 17 for guidelines.
• The boss does not have Kudos at all. They can’t spend Kudos on things, but they also don’t have to
answer to anyone else to get Kudos.
• The boss can sacrifice an Asset to give a Session Order; see below for more details.

Step 1: Attributes
For each of the six attributes roll 2d6 and divide by 4 (round down).

Step 2: Boss Type

Roll 1d6 once on the table below to determine the boss’ basic archetype, and apply the attribute bonus listed.
1d6 Employee Type Attribute Bonus Description
The boss is someone who inherited a business but
1 Clueless Heir +1 Luck
has no idea at all how to run it.
The boss is obsessed with money, and in particular
2 Greedy Miser +1 Cunning
taking in lots and paying out as little as possible.
The boss is a tad naïve, and simply wants to work
3 Naïve Worker +1 Athletics
hard and serve the customers well.
All they care about is making stuff; the business is
4 Obsessed Artisan +1 Work
sort of incidental.
You don’t get ahead in business by being nice.
5 Ruthless Businessman +1 Presence
You’ve got to be ready to go in for the kill!
Full of ideas and ambition, the boss is sure they can
6 Young Entrepreneur +1 Guts
create something new and become rich!

29
Step 3: Boss Assets
The boss’ assets are the things that most directly contribute to their ability to be the boss and run the store.
Roll 2d6 twice on the table below to determine what the boss’ assets are. If you roll the same thing twice, the
boss has that asset twice over.
2d6 Asset Description
The boss doesn’t appear to have an asset, but this may be a charade.
2 None During play whoever’s controlling the boss character can roll on this
table to determine what the asset really is.
The boss’ indomitable will ensures that they’ll never give up, and never
3 Gumption
back down.
The boss has a piece of property that is especially useful for running a
4 Property business, whether a prime spot for a store, or a place where they can
acquire some special merchandise.
The boss has important connections in society, with guilds, nobles, mer-
5 Society Connections
chants, or similar.
The boss has a unique skill that lets him create something of consider-
6 Unique Skill
able value.
The boss just plain has money, not that it stops them from wanting
7 Wealth
more.
The boss has some particular resource, such as a mine, a magical pet
8 Resource that produces something useful, etc. that provides something that gives
their business a boost.
The boss represents a family of some considerable influence, and can
9 Family
draw on the family’s resources and assistance to get things done.
The boss has connections with, shall we say, less savory parts of society,
10 Criminal Connections whether the relatively respectable thieves guild or some dangerous crim-
inal element.
The boss has some real magical power of their own that they can put to
11 Magical Power
good use in his business.
The boss is exceptionally persuasive, able to woo customers, suppliers,
12 Persuasive
and anyone else they need to persuade in order to do business.
Step 4: Favorite Employee Type
Roll once on the Employee Type table (p. 7) to see what the boss’ favorite kind of employee is.

Step 5: Boss Special Qualities, Stress Explosion, Colors

Determine the boss’ Special Qualities, Stress Explosion, and colors as you would for an employee. The boss
doesn’t get a weapon though.

Step 6: Finishing Touches

Give the boss a name, and write down their age as well.
Calculate Stress Limit as usual: Guts × 10.

30
Session Orders
A “session order” is a way for a boss character to throw their weight around to get things done. It represents
a major sacrifice, and it’s sufficiently prone to throwing the game onto a new course that we don’t recommend
using this rule if you’re doing scenario-based play.
During the game the person controlling a boss character can opt to sacrifice an Asset to issue a session order.
This grants the boss perfect success on an action for which the Asset they’re sacrificing is relevant. If an
employee is under a terrible curse that nothing can help, a boss with the “Magical Power” asset could sacrifice
it to do a ritual to remove the curse. If a small army is laying siege to the store, a boss with the “Family” asset
could have their whole clan show up and dispose of the attackers.
A boss who loses both of their Assets loses the means to be the boss of the store. The GM will have to decide
what fate ultimately awaits a fallen boss, but they can likely continue to be in the game as an NPC, or even
be remade as a PC employee.
If the boss is still a boss at the end of the game session, they can replace one missing Asset with a new one of
their choice.

31
Chapter 4: Store Creation
These are a set of tables you can use to generate details about the store where the PCs work.

Step 1: Store Appearance

Roll once on the table below to determine the basic appearance of the store.
d66 Appearance Description
The shop looks like it was pulled out of present-day Earth, with big, clear glass
11-12 Anachronistic Wonder
windows and fluorescent lighting.
13-14 Converted House The store is in what used to be a fairly ordinary house.
15-16 Department Store The store is in fact a large modern-style department store.
The shop is full of huge piles of random whimsical items that customers have to
21-22 Disorganized Bric-a-Brac
sift through.
23-24 Drive-Through Magic The shop is small and sleek, with a window for drive-through service for carts.
Someone painstakingly constructed this building with some rather unusual ma-
25-26 Eccentric Construction
terials, such as bottles, discarded wagon parts, etc.
31-32 Gift Shop The store is actually a gift shop for a museum or other large institution.
33-34 Kiosk The store is a small kiosk standing in the middle of an open space.
35-36 Living Store The store is a living creature, or maybe a semi-living magical construct.
This tiny, cramped, ramshackle building holds a surprisingly large variety of mag-
41-42 Magic Shack
ical items for sale. Maybe it’s bigger on the inside?
43-44 Mansion of Rarities Inside a large, airy mansion, you sell strange and wonderful magic items.
The store takes the form of a small fort, and its stone walls can withstand a lot
45-46 Mini-Fortress
of abuse.
The shop is in a rather trendy style, the kind of thing that socialites with too
51-52 Posh Specialty Shop
much money just love.
53-54 Quaint Little Store The shop has a simple, homey look.
The shop is part of a larger chain, and reproduces the look of the chain with
55-56 Soulless Chain Store
exacting precision.
61-62 Superstore The store is massive, with different departments for just about everything.
The store is a converted wizard’s tower, with numerous levels and narrow stone
63-64 Tower
staircases between them.
The shop is in an affected old style, with many superfluous vowels added to
65-66 Ye Olde Shoppe
words, in an effort to be trendy.

Step 2: Store Colors

Roll twice on the color table (see p. 10) to determine the overall color scheme of the store.

32
Step 3: Store Location
Roll once on the table below to determine what part of town the store is located in.
d66 Location Description
There is a pleasant, homey tavern with a silly name (The Leaping Griffon or the
11-12 Above the Tavern Plucky Halfling), and the store is on the upper floor of the building that houses
it.
The store is in a bad part of town, infamous for the many cutthroats and even
13-14 Bad Part of Town monsters that prowl the streets to pounce on the unwary. You’ll have to watch
out for thieves, but there’s money to be made here.
The store is right by the city gates, and thus is usually the first thing visitors see
15-16 City Gates
when they come and the last they see when they leave.
The store sits on a major crossroads on the edge of town, so that many people
21-22 Crossroads
come by as they’re passing through.
The store is located in an area populated primarily by a minority, such as dwarves,
23-24 Ethnic Neighborhood elves, or even people from foreign parts, who have established a community that
reflects their unique culture.
The store is situated right outside the entrance to the vast labyrinth beneath the
25-26 Labyrinth Entrance
town, which attracts many adventurers seeking treasure and fame.
The store is close to the harbor, where sailors and other people newly arrived by
31-32 Near the Harbor boat are showing up all the time. It’s also handy to be close to where many ship-
ments arrive.
The town is home to a school of magic, where young people come from all over
in the hopes of learning magic. Having a shop nearby is a mixed blessing through.
33-34 Near the Magic School
There are always customers, but there’s also excess background magic causing
problems.
The store is in the part of town where most of the nobles live. Expect many
35-36 Nobility Quarter
snooty nobles and their servants to show up at the store.
The store sits in an area that suffers from considerable poverty. The people here
41-42 Poor Area aren’t bad, but they don’t have much, so most of the items the store sells are on
the cheaper side.
The store is in a rather trendy area, populated by people who have more money
43-44 Posh Area
than they really know what to do with.
45-46 Shopping District The store sits in a neighborhood that’s nothing but small, quaint shops.
The store is part of a block of five or six smallish stores stuck together in close
51-52 Strip Mall
proximity.
The store is in the bazaar, a hectic part of town full to the brim with both cus-
53-54 The Bazaar
tomers and all manner of sellers hawking their wares.
The newly opened Yggdrasil Mall is a great palace of a building that holds several
55-56 The Yggdrasil Mall
dozen stores. Your magic shop is participating in this grand experiment in retail!
Tourism is kind of a new thing in Pastoria, but the town has a section with one
61-62 Tourist Area or more tourist attractions, and along with the guided tours and such there are
many shops and restaurants, including yours.
The shop is in a part of town where working-class people live and work, doing
63-64 Working Class Area
ordinary, menial tasks.
The store magically moves around to different locations. At the start of each day
65-66 Magical Mobility roll on the Store Location table to see where it ends up. If you roll a 65 or 66, it
ends up in another dimension for the day.

33
Step 4: Store Specialty
Roll once on the table below to determine what kind of merchandise the store specializes in. It doesn’t deal
exclusively in this kind of thing, but it has a definite emphasis.
d66 Location Description
The store caters to adventurers, offering healing potions, ever-burning torches,
11-12 Adventuring Supplies
ten-foot poles, pitons, bags of holding, etc.
Alchemy is one of the more exciting fields in magic, though not in a good way.
13-14 Alchemy Supplies
Suffice to say stores that specialize in alchemy have to be rebuilt fairly regularly.
The store has a wide selection of enchanted armor, ranging from simple leather
15-16 Armor
armor to full plate mail, all with special magical enhancements.
The store specializes in magical books, ranging from grimoires of great power to
21-22 Books
picture books about magic for the kids.
There are in fact magic items that are useful for everyday tasks, such as hammers
23-24 Everyday Items that are especially good at shaping iron, lanterns that last indefinitely, ovens that
never burn bread… You sell that kind of boring stuff.
25-26 Everything The store offers a bit of everything, and has no specific emphasis.
Staves, wands, rods, orbs, and other things that wizards use to channel their
31-32 Implements
magic.
The store has a wide selection of magical artwork: enchanted sculptures, paint-
33-34 Magical Artwork
ings that move, that kind of thing.
The store has a good selection of magical clothing, ranging from practical clothes
35-36 Magical Clothing that stay clean and whole, to cloth adventuring duds with useful enchantments,
to bizarre fashion items that use magic.
The store specializes in enchanted toys, things for kids that can move, speak,
41-42 Magical Toys
change, or do other unusual things thanks to the enchantments on them.
Eye of newt, rare magical mushrooms, bat guano, and every other kind of bizarre
43-44 Material Components
ingredient that goes into casting spells.
The store offers an eclectic array of strange, whimsical items of varied functions.
45-46 Mysterious Items This is the place to go if you need a jar of rainbows or a music box that plays
whatever song will make you cry.
The store is basically a joke shop where the jokes are enchanted. If you need
51-52 Novelty Items
something that makes farting noises, this is the place.
The store has an eclectic array of items pulled from other worlds. The cell phones
53-54 Outworld Artifacts and laser guns and such aren’t necessarily magical, though they can seem that
way to the people of Pastoria. (“Sufficiently advanced technology” and all that.)
The store offers a huge selection of potions, elixirs, draughts, and other things
55-56 Potions
that come in bottles and have magical effects on the drinker.
The store has a particularly extensive selection of items useful for summoning
61-62 Summoning Supplies creatures from other dimensions. This is up there with alchemy supplies in terms
of being a dangerous thing to stock.
Brooms, flying carpets, teleportation stones, and other even more exotic means
63-64 Transportation
of getting from one place to another.
This store is the ideal place to get magic swords, bows, maces, flails, pole arms,
65-66 Weapons
knives, slings, and basically every other kind of thing that hurts people.

34
Step 5: Store Special Features
Roll twice on the table below to determine what special features the store has.
d66 Special Feature Description
Animate The store’s shelves have a way of filling themselves up with items according to some whimsical will.
11
Merchandise The results are not always good.
It might be a product of magic or clockwork, or it could be something from another dimension, but
12 Arcade Game
the store has an arcade machine that draws the kids.
13 Bar The store is also home to a small bar for when customers need a drink.
14 Bargain Bin The bargain bin is where you put discounted merchandise that won’t sell normally.
15 Classroom The store has a dedicated space for teaching, and presumably offers classes on stuff related to its wares.
16 Cute Mascot The store has a cute mascot character of some kind that’s plastered everywhere.
Dimensional The store has some kind of dimensional distortion that makes it considerably larger on the inside than
21
Interior on the outside.
Dimensional
22 The store’s stockroom is located in a pocket dimension, and generally ignores the laws of physics.
Stockroom
23 Dungeon There is a dungeon beneath the store, full of monsters and treasure.
24 Elevator The store features an elevator. Even if it doesn’t appear to have multiple floors.
25 Founder’s Statue The store contains a rather expensive and maybe embarrassing statue of its original founder.
The store has a play space for kids to come and play games (like Technology: The Manufacturing, Papers
26 Gaming Space
& Paychecks, or backgammon).
31 Garish Sign The store has a big, garish sign, possibly one that glows.
32 Haunted There are one or more ghosts haunting the store, possibly the ghosts of former employees.
33 Hellmouth The store is located on top of a portal to hell. Expect demons.
34 Kids Section The store has a section full of merchandise aimed at children.
35 Mazelike The store’s interior is rather confusing and mazelike, and people get lost in there sometimes.
Memorable
36 The store has an advertising jingle that you just can’t get out of your head.
Jingle
41 Mini-Café The store includes a very small café where people can enjoy a nice cup of coffee or tea.
42 Mural The store features a rather impressive mural of some kind.
43 Party Supplies The store has a stock of party supplies, many of which are magical.
44 Secret Vault The store has a secret vault, where the boss keeps the most valuable and/or dangerous merchandise.
45 Security Golem The store has a special golem dedicated to maintaining its security and catching thieves.
The store has a staff of security guards who walk around and keep an eye on things, and that’s about
46 Security Guards
it.
51 Sentient Store The store itself has a personality and can speak. Roll two Employee Types to see what it’s like.
Souvenir In one corner of the store there’s a machine where you put in a copper piece and a silver piece, and it
52
Copper Machine squishes the copper into a souvenir coin.
53 Stage The store features a stage, allowing it to host performances and demonstrations.
54 Stealth Mode The store has a special enchantment that lets it turn invisible when someone throws a certain lever.
55 Stock Golem The store has a special golem that exists solely to manage the stock in the back room.
There is an animal (or other creature) that hangs around the store, such as a cat, or maybe something
56 Store Pet
more exotic.
One part of the store is set aside as a desk where people can come for assistance with their magical
61 Support Center
items.
62 Teleport Node The store includes a teleport node; people can teleport between nodes for a modest fee.
The high concentration of magic in the store makes it so that time doesn’t quite flow the same inside
63 Time Distortion
as outside.
64 Training Course The store has rather extensive (and probably rather dull) training courses for its employees.
The store is equipped with a number of traps to deter thieves. Employees need to learn how to get
65 Traps
around them, and customers should be careful.
66 Weird Regulars The store has a group of rather odd regular customers of some kind.

Step 6: Finishing Touches

Finally, give the store a name and decide how long it’s been in business.

35
Chapter 5: Introductory Scenarios
This section includes two simple scenarios to help you get started.

First Day
Number of Players: 3-5
Play Time: 2-4 hours
Game Rules Used: This scenario uses the basic rules, minus random events (except as specifically called for
in the scenario).
Introduction
This is an introductory scenario designed to help start you off playing Retail Magic. It can also be a good way
to introduce a new employee to the game. The store is hiring a new sales associate, so one of the players will
be an applicant, while the others will be the existing employees who are conducting interviews and handling
the store. Ask if there are any volunteers to be the new applicant, or failing that roll dice to determine one
randomly. In any case, all of that gets interrupted by the arrival of a competing store across the street.
The Store & The Boss
This scenario includes a pre-made store and boss, but you can substitute one of your own making without
too much difficulty. You will need to change Lady Camarilla into a rival and/or former lover who your boss
spurned in the past, and Brooms-R-Us into a cheap knockoff of whatever your store is.

V. Vincent Kovacs
Attributes: Athletics 2, Cunning 1, Guts 3, Luck 1, Presence 2, Work 2
Boss Type: Young (sort of) Entrepreneur
Boss Assets: Unique Skill, Resource
Favorite Employee Type: Adventurer
Special Qualities: Forehead Marking, Knight Talk, Vampire
Stress Explosion: Acting Spoiled
Colors: Brown Eyes, Black Hair, Brown and Yellow Clothes
Stress Limit: 30
Mr. Kovacs doesn’t like to talk about it, but he’s a vampire. Not one of those blood-sucking aristocrats mind
you, but a working-class vampire who just wants to find his way in the world without being a parasite. He
drinks blood, but he pays for it with his own money. (The magic symbol on his forehead helps contain his
natural bloodlust.) He picked up the habit of talking like a knight (saying Thou and Thee all the time) from
his father, who instilled in him the values of Chivalry. Being a vampire he has a particular understanding of
aerodynamics that helps him with flying devices (Unique Skill), and his family connections with the Old
Country (where the bad kind of vampires come from) that let him get enchanted straw and other raw materials
for flying magic items at a steep discount (Resource). It takes a lot to get him stressed out, but when he does
he acts surprisingly immature, and demands to be waited on hand and foot.

36
There and Back Again
Store Appearance: Converted House
Store Colors: Blue and Gold
Store Location: Near the Harbor
Store Specialty: Transportation
Store Special Features: Kids Section, Haunted
Located in the harbor district, Kovacs’ store specialized in flying brooms and other types of magical transpor-
tation, but also carries a wider variety of magical items. Being located near the docks lets the store get a lot of
customers looking for things to help get places, so the business is doing fairly well right now, despite the fact
that the building was originally a house that was the site of a grisly series of murders, leaving it haunted by
the creepy spirit of a little boy named Finn (Attributes 2/Stress Limit 15). Mr. Kovacs himself actually quite
likes children, and the store has a rather nice children’s section offering special safety brooms and such.
Part 1: Prologue
Start off with the already-hired PCs opening up the shop for the day. It’s a Saturday, so Mr. Kovacs is expecting
a good amount of business to come in. Ask the players what they’re doing to get things ready, and where
appropriate have them make Work rolls (or possibly using other attributes, depending on what they’re trying
to do) to get things done. Assign some Kudos as you think appropriate.
Once the store is ready, it’s time to open for business! Use the Customers table on p. 22 to roll up a few
random customers who come into the store for one reason or another, and tell the player of the applying
character to come into the store with their application.
Part 2: Interviews
Mr. Kovacs turns out to be pretty busy negotiating with a supplier (a dwarf artisan named Mr. Ironforge), so
he delegates the task of interviewing the candidates to his employees. He’s already narrowed down the list to
four (including the applying PC), though when you see the list it’ll be clear that he didn’t have a lot of great
choices. The other three candidates are:
• Calabraxas the Mad, an insane necromancer who wants the dead to rule the living. (Attributes
3/Stress Limit 5)
• Sinny Sleazebaggano, a skilled thief and unrepentant kleptomaniac. (Attributes 2/Stress Limit 10)
• Smash the Troll, a huge and incredibly strong sentient rock whose vocabulary doesn’t get much
further than the word “smash.” (Attributes 3/Stress Limit 5)

37
Mr. Kovacs has a list of questions to ask the candidates, which he hastily hands to one of his employees before
running off for a business meeting.
1. Tell me a bit about yourself.
2. What was your last job?
3. Where do you see yourself in five years?
4. What is your greatest strength?
5. What is your greatest weakness?
6. How do you handle conflict?
Take your time to enjoy coming up with answers to these questions and doing funny voices and such. If there
are PCs not involved in the interviewing process, let them keep working in the store and dealing with random
customers before moving on to the next part.
Part 3: Competition
As the day wears on, the crowds in the shop seem to be thinning out, and there’s some kind of commotion
across the street. A little bit of investigation shows that a competing magic item shop has opened up across
the street: Brooms-R-Us. They have buxom women in bunny girl outfits with signs about the Grand Opening
and all the great sales they’re having.
When Mr. Kovacs learns of this, he calls the employees over for a huddle. “We must do something about this
threat to mine shoppe!” he declares. “Hast thou any ideas?” From here the scenario is pretty much open-
ended, and it’s up to the PCs to figure out a way to deal with the competing shop. It’s ultimately up to the
PCs to pick a course of action and pursue it, but here are some possible things they might try:
• Investigating the Shop: A Cunning result of 8 will let an employee slip into Broom-R-Us undetected
and have a look around. (If they’re detected, the shop’s golem security will try to toss them out.) From
there they can learn that the shop is being run by Lady Camarilla (Attributes 3, Stress Limit 10), who
is pretty obviously a vampire, and pretty transparently using mind control powers on people to get
them to buy stuff. As it happens, she Mr. Kovacs had a fling a few centuries back that ended quite
badly. Merely being a vampire is perfectly legal, but using mind control is against the law. The only
problem is that proving that mind control is going on is rather difficult, against someone who can in
fact control minds.
• Destroying the Shop: Out-and-out destroying the Brooms-R-Us shop is a distinct possibility, if a risky
one. The PC will have to find or devise a weapon sufficient to render the shop inoperable while
avoiding getting blamed for it.
• Luring Customers Back: Brooms-R-Us is offering really low prices, but There and Back Again doesn’t
skimp on quality. A sufficiently skilled demonstration of the superiority of Mr. Kovacs’ wares (and
the inferiority of Brooms-R-Us’ cut-rate merchandise) could bring the customers back. Mr. Kovacs
isn’t a fan of using scantily clad girls with signs, but it’s a possibility if they’re sufficiently charming.

38
Part 4: Final Confrontation
If the PCs manage to stop Lady Camarilla’s scheme to destroy Kovacs’ shop, there’s still the matter of the
Lady herself. She storms out to confront Kovacs, still enraged that he spurned her all those years ago. Out-
and-out fighting her is a possibility, but persuading her to let go of her grudge, or failing that convincing her
that the retail magic trade is awful and she really shouldn’t want any part of it, would be a better way to go
about things. In any case, employees who help resolve the situation should get a generous amount of Kudos
for it.
If the PCs haven’t been able to make a dent in Brooms-R-Us’ devastating competition, Lady Camarilla will
instead come over to gloat, again giving them a chance to try to talk her down. If There and Back Again really
can’t survive much longer, she offers to hire them on at Brooms-R-Us, and if you want to continue playing,
in future sessions she’ll be the new boss.

Golden Friday
Number of Players: 3-5
Play Time: 2-4 hours
Game Rules Used: This scenario uses the basic rules, minus random events (except for the tables provided
in this scenario).
Introduction
In Pastoria the single biggest holiday of the year is Yule, the winter solstice festival, during which people
decorate evergreen trees, give gifts to loved ones, sing songs, drink eggnog, and in case you somehow didn’t
figure it out already, for the purposes of this game it’s fantasy Christmas. The major holiday before that is
Gratitude Day, and in the retail trade they’ve taken to calling the day after that “Golden Friday,” for how it
kicks off the Yule shopping season, and thus brings in an awful lot of gold pieces. (So yes, it’s fantasy Black
Friday.) For the store this means that there is a ridiculous rush of business from bargain-hungry shoppers, a
storm they’ll have to weather. It starts with the “Door Busters,” who are ready to literally break down the door
first thing in the morning, and this year it will culminate with the arrival of the Golden Dragon, a spirit
brought forth by the pure lust for capitalism of the day.
The Store & The Boss
This scenario will work with most any store and boss, and makes a good follow-up to the First Day scenario.
Scenario Structure
This scenario is set up as a series of waves that the PC employees will struggle to weather as the chaos of
Golden Friday. For the purposes of this scenario the store has a Stress Limit of 30; if it takes 30 or more
Stress it can no longer function as a store until someone fixes it. A period of uninterrupted cleaning and a
Work check with a result of 6 or better will remove 5 Stress from the store, and a result of 10 or better will
remove 10 Stress from the store.
Part 1: Door Busters
The store is set to open up at 5 a.m. Customers are already lined up outside stores all over the city where
they’re hoping to get the best bargains. The boss expects all employees to show up early and be ready to handle
the influx of customers. Ask each player in turn what they’re doing to get to work on time, and have them
roll with an appropriate attribute. Running to get to work on time would be Athletics, being responsible

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enough to get up on time would be Work, bribing someone with special discounts would be Cunning, and
so on. Anyone who gets a 6 or better makes it in time. Anyone who doesn’t make it in time will probably be
docked some Kudos.
Once the doors of the store open, there is a stampede of customers. Roll two or three events on the table
below, and let the PCs scramble to deal with them. If the same event comes up twice, it happens two separate
times. At least one employee will have to man the register at all times to keep up.
Roll Event Description
1d6+1 customers (each with Attributes 1/Stress Limit 0) get into a small brawl over a
1 Fistfight
particular sale item. If they’re not stopped they’ll cause 1d6 Stress to the store.
A band of marauding bargain hunters bust down the front doors of the store in a cart
lined with spikes! The store takes 2d6 Stress, and they charge through grabbing things
2 Literally
to buy. They do intend to pay for things, but they’ll cause another 1d6 Stress to the
store if they’re not contained.
A particularly well-coordinated group of shoppers have staged a daring maneuver the
night before to descend from the ceiling on rappelling lines to grab what they want
3 Ninja Buyers
before anyone else can get to it. They don’t do any damage to the store, but they will
turn hostile (Attributes 2/Stress Limit 10) if they can’t get what they want.
One of the store’s key special offers has sold out, and it further incites the crowd. From
4 Sold-Out Special
now on any time the store takes stress it takes an additional 2 points.
A horde of customers charges in with no regard for what’s in front of them. Anyone
5 Stampede who can’t get an Athletics result of 8 or better takes 2d6 Stress, and the store takes
1d6 Stress.
Someone tries to use magic to gain an advantage in the shopping frenzy. This causes a
6 Wild Magic
random event on a table of the GM’s choice.
Part 2: Second Wave
Although the crowds never fully abate, the initial wave of Door Busters dies down, and the second wave of
customers starts to roll in. As before, roll a few times on the event table below, and let the PCs scramble to
keep up.
Roll Event Description
A band of religious fanatics opposed to the desecration of the Yule season with crass
commercialism attempt to form a blockade around the store. If the PCs let the crowds
1 Anti-Capitalists
deal with them, the ensuing riot will be over quickly, but it will cause 2d6 Stress to the
store.
A group of customers break out into a brawl. They act as a single character with At-
2 Brawl tributes 2/Stress Limit 10, and if they aren’t stopped quickly they’ll cause 2d6 Stress
to the store.
A desperate parent (Attributes 3/Stress Limit 0) storms into the store, desperate to
3 Desperate Parent find a Tickle-Me Draco toy for his beloved daughter. If someone admits that the store
doesn’t have any (it’s sold out everywhere!), he’ll snap.
Despite the incredible deals on display, a very persistent customer is determined to
4 Haggler
haggle for a better deal, and won’t take no for an answer.
A random employee discovered a lost, crying child in the store. There’s no sign of the
5 Lost Child
parents, and the employees will have to figure out what to do with him.
Someone tries to use magic to gain an advantage in the shopping frenzy. This causes a
6 Wild Magic
random event on a table of the GM’s choice.

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Part 3: The Golden Dragon
As the Golden Friday furor is reaching a fever pitch, as housewives are getting into fistfights in the aisles,
coins from all over the city begin to shoot up into the sky, coalescing into a great golden dragon (Attributes
4/Stress Limit 10). For reasons that aren’t entirely clear, the dragon zeroes in on the shop, landing on the
roof to roost and begin hoarding stuff. The roof creaks a bit from the sheer weight of all that gold, but holds
for now. The power of the dragon causes an unnatural compulsion that draws all of the bargain-hungry shop-
pers in the city to it. The result is a crushing press of bodies too thick for any actual commerce to happen.
Defeating the golden dragon is going to be a difficult task. It’s not impossible to do so by sheer brute force,
but certainly very difficult. However, sufficient displays of altruism and disregard for materialism or profit
weaken the creature. Each such display reduces its attributes by 1 and scatters a portion of its constituent
coins across the city. If it takes 10+ Stress or its attributes get reduced to zero, it dissipates, and the people go
back to normal.
Another option is to perform an esoteric magical ritual to banish the dragon. If the employees decide to go
this route, roll a few material components on the table on p. 26. Once they have the necessary spell compo-
nents, someone will have to make a Work check and get a result of 12 or better to successfully cast the spell.
Part 4: Aftermath
Finally, Golden Friday draws to a close. The boss asks the employees to do some final cleaning up… and to
be ready the next morning for Silver Saturday.

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Design Notes
Personally I consider Maid RPG to be a major step forward in comedy RPG design. Although as far as I know
designer Ryo Kamiya wasn’t particularly familiar with such games, to me it feels very much like an upgrade
to games like Toon and Teenagers From Outer Space. (Though those games are excellent in their own right.)
However, the part about playing a maid is a non-starter for a lot of people, and the book has just enough
skeevy stuff in it (some of which we should’ve dealt with better in localization) that even the people who aren’t
irrationally prejudging it can find things to object to. I also had the idea of creating new games using the Maid
RPG rules a while ago; I even came up with the name “M.A.I.D. 1 Engine” for the rules system. What ulti-
mately got me to make an attempt at a new Maid-powered comedy RPG was the desire to bring those rules
to people who would be put off by the maids. 2
I’d been trying to do a new version of my Mascot-tan game, but I found that random character creation is
actually kind of terrible for mascot characters that need a specific theme. From there I shelved the idea for a
while to work on other projects. I also had the idea to create something about humans and aliens in everyday
life, along the lines of the classic anime series Urusei Yatsura. The only problem there was that I’d pretty much
be rewriting Teenagers From Outer Space. The next thing that came to mind was to have it be about the staff of
a magic shop. That was an idea I had many years ago and still very much like. I envisioned it as a cross between
Are You Being Served? 3 and Slayers, and I went as far as to run a one-shot of it using Risus. (For the record, this
was well before Recettear.) My first ever job was in retail (at Radio Shack no less), and I have a friend who
worked several retail jobs, including a long stint at Electronic Boutique, so I know that the retail life is ripe
for satire. If my experiences as a customer have been any indication, it’s only gotten more so with time. On
top of that, it’s a setup that includes a primary location and an authority figure, making it that much easier
to adapt the Maid RPG rules.
Retail Magic was also an opportunity to revisit those rules and how I presented them. In the years since we
published Maid RPG in 2008 I got a job in the video game industry as a localization editor, and as a result
I’ve become a much less literal-minded translator. Looking at Maid now there are plenty of things that make
me wince, and quite a few things the localization editor in me would gladly change. For example, in hindsight
renaming “Spirit” to “Stress Limit” is so ridiculously obvious that I have no idea why I didn’t think of it
before. For Retail Magic I changed the terminology exactly as much as I felt would make things clearer. I also
made some tweaks to the rules not only to make them fit the new premise, but based on my experiences with
running Maid RPG. For example, I specifically didn’t include an equivalent of Maid Powers because when I
run the game I inevitably end up glossing them over once we actually start playing.
This Golden Friday Edition is a basic pre-release, and not the game’s final form. The tasks I’ve set myself for
finishing the full version of the game are frankly kind of ridiculous, and moreover I’d like to fully realize the
final book with pictures and everything. Your support and feedback can help a final version of this game a
reality though!

1
Maniacs’ Asymmetrical Interactive Delusion
2
Though Maid RPG fans should still find plenty to enjoy here, unless you’re the sort who really likes the more skeevy
aspects of it.
3
A British sitcom from the 1970s about the goofy, pompous staff of a department store that I watched on the local PBS
station in the 90s.

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