Using the 12-Steps to Avoid Procrastination Benders

As a mental health professional who works with teens, one of the biggest challenges I see is
with procrastination. Everyone procrastinates, including myself. Just ask my wife! One of my
shortcomings is folding laundry. I’ll take one article of clothing out of a packed dryer and reshut
it, rather than fold a whole load. You can imagine this makes my wife’s head explode. And, the
more we do it, procrastination can become habitual and tough to break. Charles Duhigg
explains that habits are formed and reinforced with a predictable pattern: Cue, routine,
reward. It may look something like this:

• Cue – Sitting in front of my computer thinking about writing my report.

• Routine – Watch videos on YouTube instead.
• Reward – Anxiety is reduced in the moment (key words being in the moment.) I will
probably feel worse about neglecting to do my report later, but that doesn’t really enter
equation in the present).

Habits around addictions can follow a similar pattern. For example:

• Cue: Feeling insecure in a social setting
• Routine: Go for a drink
• Reward: Feel better in the moment

While the effects of drug or alcohol abuse are more immediate and life-threatening, for sure,
chronic procrastination can result in painful consequences with work, lost opportunities, or
health concerns. Piers Steel suggests one way of tackling procrastination is like addicts in
recovery do with their particular vice, lest you find yourself caught up in procrastination
bender. I’m sure you’ve been through some of these, putting off one thing after another for
days, even weeks before you pull it together. As someone in recovery, I can relate to this
approach and often view it through the same lens with the teens I work with. While the exact
language of each of the 12 steps may not directly apply to the chronic delaying of tasks, the
general themes can be helpful.

You can think of these themes as a framework for how to work with your procrastination habit.

Group 1 (Steps 1-3): Theme – Honesty, Hope, and Faith

This is where we admit we have a problem with procrastination, it’s causing major difficulties in
our lives and become willing to accept help.

Actions:
• Identify the problems procrastination is causing you.
• Identify the ways you have tried to manage your procrastination in the past and decide
if these really worked (hint you probably wouldn’t be reading this article if they did).
• Play the tape out to the end: If you continue to procrastinate what future problems do
you see happening?
 • Write a new happier ending: If you change your procrastination habit, how might things
be different for you?
• Become willing: Are you willing to try a new approach to combating your
procrastination?
• Ask for and accept help: Are you willing to accept help with your procrastination?

Group 2 (Steps 4-7): Theme – Courage, Integrity, Willingness, and Humility

This is where we get into the details of our procrastination habit and why it is happening. We
also discuss this with another person and begin to take actions to change problematic patterns
of behavior.

Actions:
• Make a list of common things you procrastinate about.
o What feels unfair or annoying about each these things?
o How do the above feelings impact you?
o What parts of these situations are you responsible for and what parts are out of
your control?
o Can you bring acceptance to those things that are not under your control and a
willingness to take responsibility for those things that are under your control?
• Now look over your list and identify your common patterns of behavior and triggers that
lead to procrastination.
o What are your cues to begin procrastinating? These might be your location, time
of day, your emotional state, particular people around you, or what you did right
before you started procrastinating.
o What is your common procrastination routine? For example, I start watching
YouTube videos or look at social media.
o What is my immediate reward for procrastinating? For example, I avoid writing
that difficult report and immediately feel better.
o Now that you have a better idea of the cue, routine, and reward begin to
introduce changes to that pattern. For example, if I know my cue is I turn on my
computer in my room to start writing my English essay. I can move my computer
to the dining room table or perhaps write the essay at the library (location
change), or do homework with a friend (change people around me).
• Discuss what you have discovered about your procrastination habit with a trusted
person and your plan for change. It is best to choose someone who will be non-
judgmental. This might be a coach, relative, mentor, or mental health professional.
• Many people at this point will wish to seek professional help to support them in
breaking their procrastination habit and provide them additional strategies. This might
be a coach, tutor, or mental health professional.

Group 3 (Steps 8-9): Theme – Self-discipline and Forgiveness

Here we take responsibility for the negative impact our procrastination has caused ourselves
and others and try to make it right. This phase really is about forgiveness and releasing shame.
Actions:
• Make a list of people your procrastination has negatively impacted and how, including
yourself. For example, Jenny because I didn’t finish my part of the group project in time
and we got a lower grade. Or myself because I missed out on joining the baseball team
due to putting off asking my parents to sign the permission form.
• Take steps to fix the situation caused by your procrastination with others or yourself, if
possible. This might be taking some corrective action or simply apologizing and
committing to do better in the future.

Group 4 (Steps 10-12): Theme – Perseverance, Spiritual Awareness, and Service

This is the maintenance phase of combating procrastination, through monitoring our behavior,
aligning with our values, and acting in ways that are of service to others.

Actions:
• Now that you are well on your way to breaking your procrastination habit, you will want
to stay vigilant. Monitor your procrastination behavior and promptly take action to right
the situation with yourself and others whenever you slip.
• Identify your personal values and live in accordance with those on a daily basis.
• Try meditating every day. Even if it’s for 5 minutes or less. This will help strengthen your
ability to monitor your own behavior and regulate the emotions that drive
procrastination.
• Use your new behavior patterns to help others in small and large ways and where
appropriate, share what you have learned about combating procrastination with others.

One of the key missing components to this approach that 12-step groups have is frequent social
support. As such, you may find it helpful to buddy up with someone who also struggles with
procrastination and support each other’s efforts toward positive change. But try to stay focused
with your buddy or you might send each other into a procrastination bender together by
sharing your favorite YouTube videos!

While some tasks will inevitably be avoided or delayed from time to time, you do not have to
let it turn into a procrastination bender. And if you do find yourself on bender, don’t judge
yourself. As they say in recovery, “we strive for progress not perfection.” Once you notice
you’re delaying, you can jump back into step one again and resolve to break the procrastination
habit. Or as my wife likes to say “just get back in there and fold the whole load, please.”