COUNSELLING MANUAL

TARGET GROUP: GUIDANCE AND COUNSELLING TEACHERS

Contents
TRAINING AIM AND OBJECTIVES.........................................................................................................3
The overall Aim/Goal...........................................................................................................................3
Specific objectives...............................................................................................................................3
TRAINING METHODOLOGY..................................................................................................................4
INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING..............................................................................................................4
Definitions of Counselling....................................................................................................................4
What Counselling is NOT.....................................................................................................................5
Why go for counseling/How can counseling help................................................................................5
EMERGENCE/HISTORY OF COUNSELING......................................................................................................6
COUNSELLING IN THE TRADITIONAL AFRICAN SOCIETY.......................................................................6
Forms of Counseling in Traditional African Societies...........................................................................6
METHODS/FORMS OF COUNSELLING..................................................................................................7
SELF AWAR1ENESS..............................................................................................................................7
THE SELF CONCEPT/WHO AM I?..................................................................................................................9
PARTS/ELEMENTS OF THE SELF CONCEPT.........................................................................................10
DOMAINS OF THE SELF CONCEPT......................................................................................................11
The private area.................................................................................................................................11
The Hidden area................................................................................................................................12
Beliefs Values and Attitudes......................................................................................................................12
IMPORTANCE OF SELF AWARENESS FOR COUNSELLORS...................................................................13
PROCESS AND SKILLS OF COUNSELLING............................................................................................13
COUNSELLING SKILLS.................................................................................................................................15
COUNSELLOR CORE CONDITIONS/ATTITUDES...................................................................................18
ETHICAL PRINCIPLES OF COUNSELLING PRACTICE.....................................................................................19
WORKING THERAPEUTICALLY WITH CLIENTS............................................................................................21
COMMUNICATION.....................................................................................................................................22
THEORIES OF COUNSELLING......................................................................................................................25
CONCEPTS OF PSYSCHOANALYSIS......................................................................................................26
COGNITIVE AND BEHAVIOUR THEORIES............................................................................................32

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 Empathy................................................................................................................................................38
GROUP COUNSELLING...............................................................................................................................39
CHILD COUNSELLING.................................................................................................................................40
ADOLESCENT COUNSELLING......................................................................................................................42
Techniques for counselling adolescents............................................................................................43
FAMILY COUNSELLING/FAMILY SYSTEMS..................................................................................................44
LOSS AND GRIEF COUNSELLING.................................................................................................................45
Models of Grief.....................................................................................................................................46
Therapy for Grief...............................................................................................................................47
PSYCHOSOCIAL ISSUES IN COUNSELLING..................................................................................................48
CHILD’S RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES....................................................................................................51
Categories of Children’s Rights..........................................................................................................51
Responsibilities of Children...............................................................................................................51
WOMEN’S RIGHTS.............................................................................................................................52
CHILD ABUSE AND INTERVENTION....................................................................................................52
GENDER BASED VIOLENCE.........................................................................................................................57
FORMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.......................................................................................................60
SEXUAL VIOLENCE..............................................................................................................................61
THE CYCLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE..................................................................................................63
SUBSTANCE ABUSE/PEER PRESSURE.........................................................................................................69
CAUSES AND EFFCTS OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE...............................................................70
HOW TO PREVENT AND MANAGE DRUG AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE ....................71
PEER PRESSURE.........................................................................................................................................71
MEDIA INFLUENCE...............................................................................................................................72
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT.........................................................................................................................74

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TRAINING AIM AND OBJECTIVES

The overall Aim/Goal

The overall goal of this training manual is to equip the Guidance and Counseling teachers (both National
and Incentive) from the five camp secondary schools in Kakuma with Basic Counselling skills and
knowledge, to enable them assist the learners in their respectiveschools in addressing the psychosocial
problems which they encounter in their everyday life both within and outside the camp.

Specific objectives
In order to achieve the above overall goal, the counselling workshop has set the following specific
objectives:

1. To train 20 selected teachers in BCS and to enable them acquire both theoretical and practical
knowledge in Basic Counselling
2. To enable the Guidance and counselling teachers to engage in self-awareness and explore their
attitudes, believes and values.
3. To enable the teachers understand the rights and responsibilities of children as well as help them
identify their roles as key stakeholders in the in the development and protection of children
4. To equip and expand the knowledge of teachers on Sexual and Gender Based Violence (SGBV),
early pregnancy and early forced marriage,and the possible intervention strategies.
5. To enable the selected 20 teachers to practice the skills learned in a safe (controlled) environment
so that they can use the same skills back in their schools.

TRAINING METHODOLOGY

This training workshop will employ interactive, participatory, and experiential methods using person
centered, adult learning methodologies and gender sensitive approaches to teaching children and youth.
Some of the methods used included: Lectures, power point présentations, role-plays or drama, case
studies, group work, brain storming, question and answer sessions, plenary discussions and debates,
songs, dance, story-telling, play, illustrations, reading, writing and recitations (poems). The methods used
suited the content, passed the appropriate message, and gave participants adequate opportunities to
develop the relevant life skills.

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INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING

Definitions of Counselling
Counselling is the skilled and principled use of relationships, which develop self-knowledge, emotional
acceptance and growth, and personal resources. The overall aim is to live more fully and satisfyingly.
Counselling may be concerned with addressing and resolving specific problems, making decisions,
coping with crises, working through feelings and inner conflict, or improving relationships with others.
The counsellor's role is to facilitate the client’s work in ways that respect the client's values, personal
resources, and capacity for self-determination (BAC 1990).

Counselling is a way of relating and responding to another person, so that the person is helped to explore
her thoughts, feelingsand behaviour, to reach a clearer self-understanding and then is helped to find and
use her strengths so that she copes more effectively with life by making appropriate decisions or taking
relevant action (Inskipp& John, 1984).

One very popular definition of counselling is that it is "helping people to help themselves". Do not expect
the counsellor to give you instant and magic solutions but rather to work with you towards understanding
your situation and finding your own solutions. Counselling is designed to help people understand
themselves, clarify views, reach their goals through well informed choices and through resolution of
problems. Counselling is a process by which a person who has a problem is helped to identify, explore
and examine alternative courses of action and their possible consequences.

The BAC definition is favourable because of its lucid and comprehensive nature it defines counseling,
describes the aim and scope of counseling and alludes to the potential beneficiaries/clientele of
counseling

All the definitions emphasize

 The relationship aspect

 The use of skills
 Exploration of thoughts, feelings and behaviour and
 The client’s capacity for self – determination
 A process.

Goals/Aims of Counselling
The aims (goals) of counseling are broad. They may depend on the situation and the environment, and on
training. The basic aims of counseling include the following

• Help clients and patients gain an insight into the origins and development of emotional
difficulties, leading to an increased capacity to take rational control over feelings and actions.
• Alter maladjusted behaviour.
• Provide clients and patients with the skills, awareness and knowledge, which will enable them to
confront social inadequacy.
• Provide an opportunity for a client to work towards living in a more satisfying and resourceful
way, help clients to move towards a greater level of self-acceptance and self-understanding and
awareness of their abilities and limitations

What Counselling is NOT

 Counselling is not about giving advice or giving an opinion: this makes the client unable to
search for solution of his/her problems

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  It is not guidance or leading- this makes the other person (client/counselee) inferior
 It is not providing solutions to someone’s problems- this makes (client/counselee) dependent
 It is not sympathizing with clients- this prevents the clients from exploring their issues
 It is not about offering practical help - this creates dependency on the counselor/therapist.

Difference between counseling and: Psychology, psychiatry, guidance and education

Education is concerned with giving advice and information; a process of receiving or giving systematic
instruction

Guidance involves personal help and advice given by someone. This help is designed to assist people in
deciding what they want to do, how to get to their destination. Guidance simply shows or points the way
to be followed. In terms of education, guidance is as continuous process concerned with determining and
providing for the developmental needs of learners. Guidance is considered a lifelong process

Psychology is a discipline that is firstly concerned with the normal functioning of the mind. Psychology
is the study of people: how they think, how they act, react and interact. Psychology is concerned with all
aspects of the behavior, thoughts, feelings and motivation underlying such behavior. Psychologists
deal with the way the mind works and can specialize in a number of areas, such as mental health and
educational and occupational psychology and counseling. Psychologists are not usually medically
qualified.

Psychiatrists are qualified medical doctors specialized in (psychiatry) working with people experiencing
mental disorders; their diagnosis, management and treatment.

Why go for counseling/How can counseling help

Coping with problems can be devastating. Individuals and their families may have difficulty coming to
terms with certain aspects of their lives; be it illness, trauma, relationships, work, addiction which can
result in feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, sadness and depression. Many people feel they have difficulty
speaking to a close friend or relative. However, it is often very useful to speak to someone who is not
personally involved. You may be able to express worries or concerns which you have to a counsellor that
you do not wish others to know. Also, it can be difficult for people undergoing a stressful and emotional
experience to talk to the people closest to them, as they may also be very upset. You may find it easier to
talk to someone outside your immediate circle.

A counsellor will be able to provide emotional support by allowing clients to express their feelings and
fears. The counsellor will not tell them what to do, but counselling may help clients see things differently
and help them find their way through a difficult patch.

EMERGENCE/HISTORY OF COUNSELING

To understand the history of counselling we begin with the realization that throughout the years, human
beings have found comfort in sharing their problems or telling their story to others. The old saying ‘ a
problem shared is a problem halved’ tells us one universal human truth, that when things get difficult or
we have to make decisions in our life that sometimes we need someone to listen and ‘hear ‘our story’ so
we can get a better idea of our options.

Counselling history can be traced back to tribal times where people would came together in a group and
share their experiences, and sometimes their dreams. As civilization developed, religion offered a type of
counselling, usually by priests who would listen and advise parishioners on their problems (they still do)

In the 1890’s Sigmund Freud, a German neurologist developed a theory later to be called psychoanalysis,
which allowed individuals to tell their problems to a ‘psychoanalyst’ an individual trained in interpreting

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the ‘subconscious’ , that part of or psyche that we are not aware of but influences what we do. Freud
played an important part in the history of counselling but the actual word “counselling” did not come in to
everyday language until the 1960’s.

Counselling really took off after the Second World War, in 1950’s America , most of the therapies we
hear about today can trace their origins back to a handful of psychologists and psychiatrists (some of
whom we will look at in this guide) who developed techniques and theories, sometimes referred to as
‘Schools’ of therapy.

The three major schools are Psychoanalytical, Behaviourist, and Humanistic.

There have been many developments in counselling since the 1950’s, lots of research has taken place
which gives us a better understanding of what makes human beings think and behave the way they do.

COUNSELLING IN THE TRADITIONAL AFRICAN SOCIETY

The ever growing complexity of society, coupled with social problems and the rapid development of
science and technology, place heavy demands on people. Most sub-Saharan African societies have, in the
past, been held together by elements unique to the region. The most outstanding of these elements were:

1. The extended family system, including the clan and the tribe
2. Chieftaincy
3. Taboos
4. Various forms of initiation
5. Close links with ancestors and elders

Forms of Counseling in Traditional African Societies

In traditional African societies, counsel is given in various forms, the most common of which is giving
advice and sharing wisdom.

Giving advice has been a common way of providing help for other people. The advice offered is
frequently instrumental in helping people to consider their future. In many instances, the extended family
is the main source of advice for family/clan members. Advice is also given among peers

There is usually no shortage of people willing to share their wisdom with others. Therefore giving advice
often promotes the dependence of people on the advice given which is largely subjective and does not
promote the personal development especially of young people.

Wisdom generally refers to experience and knowledge about life and using them judiciously. In African
societies, it is generally considered the responsibility of elders to provide wisdom or counsel to young
boys and girls. The wisdom provided by elderly men and women is part of the counseling function of
the family or society for boys and girls.

Another aspect of wisdom is sharing proverbs or folk stories, poems or songs.

In some African societies witchcraft is also a form of counseling.

METHODS/FORMS OF COUNSELLING

There are different ways of attaining counseling support. The import things is that the client receives a
confidential, supportive and motivational service. Methods include the following

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Individual counselling

Individual counseling involves face-to-face interaction that generally last 45 – 60 minutes and are
allocated at regular weekly intervals. Clients will be able to discuss concerns and emotional issues with a
counselor in their place of work – this could be a private practice, local health centre or other applicable
location. Any information the client shares with the counselor or therapist is totally confidential, although
notes may be kept on record for future reference. Being able to open up to a counselor in person has many
beneficial aspects and can help an individual make steady progress in overcoming problems.

Telephone/SMS counselling

Clients can experience counselling from the comfort of their home. The same benefits as individual
counselling are on offer although clients have the added privacy of being in surroundings that are familiar
to them.

On-line counselling

The internet is being increasingly used by counselors to offer a new type of counseling through websites.
Some web sites can offer 'real time' online counselling through live chat, whilst others offer email
responses to emailed questions.

Group counselling

This method of counselling requires individuals to share their personal experiences with others who are
experiencing similar problems, concerns and issues. The group (ideally not more than 8) meets at regular
intervals, and sessions can be facilitated by a qualified counsellor or an appointed member of the group.
By sharing knowledge and understanding in this way individuals form a supportive network with others,
which in turn provides an additional framework of support.

SELF AWAR1ENESS
Self-awareness is a way of exploring one’s self. Self-knowledge is a key ingredient in learning to be
comfortable with yourself and accepting yourself. Self-awareness helps someone discover what one is
experiencing within oneself and how one will react to certain situations. It is very important to identify
our own feelings and to recognize how these can affect the interaction with people and their work.

Self-awareness focuses upon the process of self-exploration which identifies personal strengths and
personal weaknesses, blocks, resistances and vulnerabilities. Such self-exploration will cover hidden
aspects as well as damaging unfinished business and inner conflicts. Self-awareness helps you get in
touch with all the different parts of self.

The process involves reflection of attitudes, beliefs, values, knowledge and relationship with self and
others. Relationship with self is known as intrapersonal. Relationship with other people is interpersonal

Self-awareness makes an individual singular and unique. It is a process of understanding our personality;
understanding who we are. It answers the question ‘Who am I”

Personality is an individual’s unique pattern of characteristics. These characteristics are a blend of

physical, mental and emotional traits. Personality is influenced by four factors– heredity, environment,
culture and self-concept.

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  Heredityis the transmission of traits from one generation to the next. What traits did you
inherit? Are you tall, short brown eyed, dark or light complexion? You may have also inherited
the potential for the way you think, feel act, reason, or learn.
 Environmentis everything that is around you and its influence upon you. It includes your family,
your friends, the people around you, the air you breathe and the water you drink. Your physical
environment may include mountains, an ocean, rivers, or desert. Your environment may be one of
poverty, wealth, urban or country living.
 Cultureis a blend of the influence of the people in your home, workplace and the community. In
many ways, you learn to act like the people whom you spend most of your time with. You may
speak or use sayings unique to your family. You may have noticed different accents, attitudes, or
mannerisms of someone who has just moved to your work station from a different part of the
country or from outside the country.

What we actually are;

 A human being: (with body, mind and soul)
 A unique person
 A sexual being (male or female, this gives identity)
 Created by God
 Have free will
 A gift to ourselves and to others.

TOTAL PERSON
BODY
MIND
 Feelings
 Emotions  Intellect
 Basic needs  Will power
The human being is an intelligent being. She can
reason out, make decisions and has power of free
The physical being carries with it some basic will with which she can make a choice. The mind is
human needs that have to be understood andinfluenced by what the persons sees, hears, reads
met. There are also feelings, emotions and and does.
drives, which also change with the developing
human person

SOUL

 Value system
 e.g. morals, religions, traditional values

The human person is also a spiritual being. She has the

eternal soul from God. Within her spiritual dimension,
there is conscience, which dictates to her some basic
values e.g. right or wrong.

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The process of being self-aware involves reflecting on our self-concept.

THE SELF CONCEPT/WHO AM I?

The self conceptis the way you think about yourself and this makes you feel good or bad about yourself.
Theself-concept is how we learn to define ourselves to meet the criteria required for us to be loved and
valued. The self-concept determines how you see and/or react to yourself in relation to others and also
how one perceives the feedback from others.

The self-concept determines how you see and/or react to yourself in relation to others and also how one
perceives the feedback from others.

The self-concept includes all the beliefs, attitudes and valuesyou have about yourself including a self-
evaluation of your strengths and limitations. You may think of yourself as ambitious, talented, and
intelligent or lazy, unskilled and dull. You may think of yourself as friendly and kind or as shy and
critical of others. Each of these beliefs helps determine your self-concept. Some people are unduly hard
on themselves while others have a realistic view of themselves.

The opinions that you feel others have about you also help determine your self-concept. If your parents
believe you to be a worthwhile person, most likely you will share their beliefs that you are worthwhile.
The opinions that other persons significant to you portray, like your superiors, subordinates, colleagues
and friends, also influence your self-concept.

The self-concept helps us to answer the question; who am I?When people are asked to describe who they
are, they tend to answer in different ways; for example:
 Physical description: I am tall, fat, short, have brown eyes, long legs, etc,
 Social Roles: Such roles as student, teacher, mother, father or member of a football team.
These roles not only help others to recognize us but also help us to know what is expected of
us in various situations.
 Personal Traits: These are a third dimension of our self descriptions; example, I am
generous, friendly, I worry a lot, I am hardworking, intelligent, etc
 Existential Statements (abstract ones): These could be; I am a child of the Universe, I am a
human being, to I am a spiritual being, etc.
 Financial statements: I am rich, poor

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Typically young people tend to describe themselves more in terms personal traits, whereas older people
feel defined to a great extent by their social roles

PARTS/ELEMENTS OF THE SELF CONCEPT

The self-concept consists of three parts:

 The Self Image -the way in which you perceive yourself including your body image

 The Self Esteem - the value you attach to yourself

 The Ideal Self - the way you would most like to be

a) The Self Image -the way in which you perceive yourself; mother, father, husband, wife, student,
[Link] also includes how you perceive your body (the way you think your body looks; tall, short,
fat, slim, etc.). Self-Image does not necessarily have to reflect reality. For example a person with
anorexia who is thin may a self-image in which the person believes they are fat. A person’s self-
image is affect by many factors such as parental influence, friends, the media, etc.
b) The Ideal Self - the way you would most like to be; role models. Every one of us has an image
of would they would like to be; this could be like someone you admire and would like to emulate a sort of
role model. For example many people have said they would like to be like Nelson Mandela or Beyonce
or Barrack Obama.
c) The Self Esteem (Self-worth) - the value you attach to yourself/
This represents the value you place on yourself; you like and what you do not like; some description may
include, confident, hardworking, generous,; descriptions of self that make one feel good or bad Self
Esteem refers to the extent to which we like, accept or approve of ourselves or how much we value
ourselves. Self esteem always involves a degree of evaluation and we may have either a positive (high)
or a negative (low) view of ourselves.

High self-esteem(positive view of self): This tends to lead to

 Confidence in our own abilities
 Self-acceptance
 Not worrying about what others think
 Optimism
Low self-esteem(negative view of self): This tends to lead to
 Lack of confidence
 Wanting to look like someone else
 Always worrying what others might think
 Pessimism
Even though self-esteem might fluctuate, there are times when we continue to believe good things about
ourselves even when evidence shows the contrary. This is known as the perseverance effect.

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It is believed that there are 4 major factors that influence self esteem
 The Reaction of Others: If people admire us, flatter us, we react positively; if criticized, we react
negatively
 Comparison with Others: If the people we compare ourselves with (peers, colleagues, friends, etc)
appear to be more successful, happier, richer, better looking than ourselves, we tend to develop a
negative self-image BUT if they are less successful than us our image will be positive
 Social Roles: Some social roles carry prestige; such as doctor, airline, TV presenter, footballer and
this promotes self-esteem. Other roles carry stigma such as prisoner, mental hospital patient, refuse
collector or unemployed person
 Identification: We identify with the positions we occupy, the roles we play and the groups we belong
to. Therefore some executive who had a high social status job which gave him high esteem may
develop low self-esteem upon retirement

DOMAINS OF THE SELF CONCEPT

The Self Concept has 3 domains (public, private and hidden)

The public area is that part which is open and accessible.

 It is information that the individual does not have much control over:
 It is also information that the individual does not regard as being particularly private. Public
information concerns items such as gender, age (although some try to hide it!), family, and where the
person lives.
 Normally, disclosing this information does not make the individual feel vulnerable.

The private area

 is more problematic and the individual does not always make this information freely available.
 Generally, it is information that the individual has control over and can select to whom s/he wishes to
disclose it.
 The information includes items such as who an individual loves and likes, who s/he hates and
detests.
 As the individual gets closer to the centre of the self-concept s/he guards the information more
closely.
 Normally people are very particular about who they admit to this area.

The Hidden area

 By definition virtually nothing is known about it.
 This is the area that contains information that makes the individual feel uncomfortable. Each
individual has memories or experiences that s/he would prefer to forget.
 Perhaps they are memories from childhood that generate acute feelings of shame or humiliation, and
which engender guilt.

Our self-concept is influenced by a person’sfeelings, beliefs, attitudes and values

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Beliefs Values and Attitudes

Beliefs are the convictions that we generally hold to be true, usually without actual proof or evidence.
They are often, but not always connected to religion. The beliefs that we hold are an important part of our
identity. They may be religious, cultural or moral. Beliefs are precious because they reflect who we are
and how we live our lives

Religious beliefs could include a belief that God created the earth in seven days, or that Jesus was the son
of God. Non-religious beliefs could include: that all people are created equal, which would guide us to
treat everyone regardless of sex, race, religion, age, education, status etc with equal respect. Someone
might believe that all people are not created equal, which results in racist and sexist values and attitudes.

Beliefs are basically assumptions that we make about the world and our values stem from those beliefs.
Our beliefs grow from what we see, hear, experience, read and think about. From these things we develop
an opinion that we hold to be true and unmovable at that time.

From our beliefs we derive our values, which can either be correct or incorrect when compared with
evidence, but nonetheless hold true for us.

Values are principles, standards or qualities that an individual or group of people hold in high regard.
values are things that we deem important/hold dear/consider to be worth and can include concepts like ‘“
equality, honesty, education, effort, perseverance, loyalty, faithfulness, conservation of the environment
and many, many other concepts.

These values guide the way we live our lives and the decisions we make. A ‘value’ is commonly formed
by a particular belief that is related to the worth of an idea or type of [Link] can influence
many of the judgments we make as well as have an impact on the support we give clients.

Whatever we see, hear, read and do goes into the mind and this has an influence. Influence forms certain
attitudes and attitudes form the character and the character is the person.

Attitude is a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is
reflected in a person's behavior.

Attitudes and believes affect how we relate with ourselves and others. It affects how we perform our
work and it informs our life time achievements. It is imperative that helpers be aware of their own values
and attitudes, recognise the role that their culture and belief system plays in their relationship with their
clients, and avoid imposing their beliefs, either subtly or directly.

It is imperative that helpers be aware of their own beliefs, values and attitudes, recognise the role that
their culture and belief system plays in their relationship with their clients, and avoid imposing their
beliefs, either subtly or [Link] is important that we do not influence client’s decisions based on our
values. We should always work from the basis of supporting the client’s values.

How problems arise

Problems arise when someone’s self conceptisincongruent with his experiences Mostly problems have to do
with feelings and self-esteem, attitudes, beliefs and values

IMPORTANCE OF SELF AWARENESS FOR COUNSELLORS

It is important that counselors are aware of themselves; their strengths and limitations so that they can be
in a position to help others more effectively. Self-awareness is a way of exploring one’s self. Self-
knowledge is a key ingredient in learning to be comfortable with yourself and accepting yourself. Self-

12
awareness is the process of understanding who we are; it helps someone discover what one is
experiencing within one’s self and how one will react to certain situations.

It is very important for counselors to identify their own feelings and to recognize how these can affect the
interaction with their clients and their work. Self-awareness focuses upon the process of self-exploration
which identifies personal strengths and personal weaknesses, blocks, resistances and
[Link] self-exploration will cover hidden aspects as well as damaging unfinished business
and lurking inner conflicts. Self-awareness helps the counselors to get in touch with all the different facets
of self. Self-awareness helps the counselors to acknowledge their limitations and refer the clients
appropriately. Self-awareness makes an individual singular and unique.

PROCESS AND SKILLS OF COUNSELLING

Counseling is a process because it involves specific stages and the use of specific skills and techniques to
help people become more creative, more competent and therefore more content. Counseling is an ongoing
process as it helps the clients to move towards more openness, confidence and willingness to grow.
Counseling is a process whose aim is to help clients make better choices and become better choosers so
that they can achieve their potential in life.

PROCESS OF COUNSELLING (by Gerald Egan)

Gerald Egan a counseling psychologist developed a three stage model of counseling process commonly
known as (EUA)

 Exploration,
 Understanding,
 Action

Stage 1: Exploration (Current Scenario - what is going on?)

Exploration stageinvolves exploration of the problem the client is presenting. It helps the client to
describe the current scenario using their own words and to clarify any concerns they may have. This
stage is about

• The client telling their story, Breaks through blind spots, Chooses the right issues to work with.
Client has space where he/she can here and understand their own story. With the help of the
counselor the client uncovers blind spots or gaps in their perceptions and assessment of the
situation, of others and of themselves

The counsellor provides a safe place for the client to tell their story in their own way, and to be
fully heard and acknowledged. It is also about gently helping the clients to lift their head to see
the wider picture and other perspectives, and to find a point from which to go forward with
[Link] they are in the situation, it can be difficult for the client to see it clearly, or from
different angles.

Counsellor Strategy: Facilitating an environment that is trusting and safe and for the client to
disclose. Facilitating a trusting relationship is important for the client to experience a nurturing
atmosphere. The counsellor helps the client to clarifyand prioritize specific issues to be addressed
by focusing on the here and now..

Challenging the client help the client have different perspectives on patterns and connections,
shoulds and oughts, negative self-talk, blind spots (discrepancies, distortions, incomplete
awareness, things implied, what's not said), ownership, specifics, strengths.

Some Useful Questions for stage 1:

o How do/did you feel/think about that?

o Is there anything you have overlooked?

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 o What in all of this is a problem for you?
o Any other way of looking at the issue?
o What would be best to work on now?
o What is manageable?

Stage 2: Understanding stage (Preferred/ideal scenario - what do I want instead?)

• This stage is about helping clients to reflect on what they really want or in what ways their
problems might be opportunities. It is about helping the client to open up a picture on how things
could be better. This stage is very important in generating energy and [Link] client is
encouraged to broaden their horizon and be imaginative and take risks; for some people this is
scary, for some liberating;

• The client tries to process/understand their issues, clarifying the impact of their feelings, values,
attitudes, beliefs and current behaviour

• Client brainstorms possibilities of a better future and choosing realistic goals and being
committed to addressing their problems.

• Counsellor: This is the working stage; counselor using appropriate skills needs to respond
appropriately. The counselor needs to listen actively to what the client is saying and what they are
not saying. The Counselor needs to understand what strengths and resources the client has that
can be used to facilitate growth.

• The counsellor helps the client to brainstorm the ideal scenario; e.g.

• 'if you could wake up tomorrow with everything just how you want it, like your ideal world, what
would it be like?'

• Counsellor Strategy: Facilitating understanding of the problem; counsellor must not

analyze/judge client

Some Useful Questions for stage 2:

• What do you ideally want instead? Or

• What feels best for you?
• What exactly is your goal? Or
• What are you likely to achieve?
• What would be realistic?
• What will be the costs of doing this? Any disadvantages to doing this?

Stage 3 – Action (Action strategies – how will I get there?)

Action Stage is the final phase where the client is helped to develop SMART goals and find a realistic set
of choices. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reliable and Time bound).The counselor encourages the
clients to access other support services that may be of further help if necessary

This stage is about the ‘how’

The client
 Choosing what is best for them; choosing realistic range of possible choices/specific actions.
 It is about the client deciding how he/she will move towards the goals they have identified in
stage 2. It is about doing something to get started
 In this stage the client is doing almost all the work, producing their action plan.
 The counsellor facilitates selecting and reality [Link] client is helped to brainstorm
strategies – different ways to achieve the goal - again with prompting and encouragement to

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 think widely; what people, places, ideas, organizations could help? The counselor works with
clients to turn good intention into specific plans with time scales. Whilst being encouraging, it is
also important not to push the client into saying they will do things to please the counselor
 Counsellor strategy: Facilitation of brainstorming and plan of action. The aim is to free up the
person to generate new and different ideas for action, breaking out of old mind-sets in order to
help the client plan the next steps. If an action plan has been reached, it could be tried out
through role play.

Some Useful Questions for stage 3:

• How many different ways are there for you to do this?

• Which of these ideas appeals most?
• Which is most likely to work for you?
• Which are within your resources/control?
• What will you do first? When?
• What will you do next? When

Conclusion: Key in using the model, as with any theory or model, is to keep the client’s agenda central,
the individual in the foreground and theory in the background.

At various stages clients need to be supported and challenged. In each stage there are specific skills that
can help the client move forward.

COUNSELLING SKILLS
Counselling skills are specific skills a counsellor can use to enhance their communication with clients.
These skills enable a counsellor to effectively build a working relationship and engage clients in
discussion that is both helpful and meaningful. The person of the counselor must have the skills necessary
to focus on feeling, thinking and acting. Skills are interventions selectively used depending upon the
needs and the state of the [Link] is developed through practice.

Skills in counselling are very important because they act like tools. Without them the counsellor would be
helpless. The following basic skills of counselling alone or together can help a client to make informed
decisions:

1) Listening/Active listening
Listening is an active process of paying individual attention to what the client is saying. There should be
no distraction whatsoever between the client and the counsellor. This helps the counsellor to hear what
the client is saying and what he is not saying.
 Good listening provides clients with psychological space and support for their self-exploration
and problem solving.
 A good listener does not interrupt the speaker, does not allow distraction to interfere with
listening and is not distracted by the speaker’s mannerisms.
 A good listener allows the speaker to express opinion without imposing own views and does not
plan what to say before the speaker has finished.

Active listening is an essential skill counselors can exploit to develop a positive and healthy interaction
(rapport) with a client. “Active listening intentionally focuses on who you are listening to, whether in a
group or one-on-one, in order to understand what he or she is saying. As the listener, you should then be
able to repeat back in your own words what they have said to their satisfaction. This does not mean you

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agree with, but rather understand, what they are saying”. Listening means a counselor has a “small
mouth and big ears”.

2) Attending (observing)
Attending or observing is the ability to see what is beingsaid and what is not being said. Observations are
from three points; Physical Appearance, Emotional State and Interpersonal relationship. Attending means
being present one hundred per cent both physically and emotionally; listening and observing non-verbal
communication; the tone of voice, posture, gesture and body expressions. Sometimes the client may be
silence and this must be respected. Attending may be enhanced with appropriate sitting position known as
SOLER

S.O.L.E.R formula is used as follows;

S Sitting squarely facing the client
O Open posture (do not close your arms and legs)
L Lean forward appropriately
E Eye contact; without staring
R Relax while counselling

3) Questioning/Probing
Questioning is like “pushing” the client to talk more of their issues through questioning. The counsellor
can use statements that call for explanation of the client e.g. Counsellor: I do not understand what you
mean by saying you do not want to see your parents. Tell me a little more about not seeing your parents.

Questioning helps the client to talk more about their views, opinions, thoughts and feeling:

Open-ended questions Open-ended questions require more than a yes/no response encourages
exploration, communication and clarification of thought feelings and attitudes. Through open-ended
questions the client and the counselor both travel through the clients feelings and imagination; For
example:

 Could you share with me how you feel?

 Would you tell me more about what happened?
 Could you tell me more about your feelings?
 What was that like for you?”
 What must happen, before you talk with your partner about it?

Close-ended questions by contrast, limit the exploration process. Closed questions solicit Yes/No
answers and are more prone to satisfy the counselor than help the client;for example

 Did you feel upset?

 How many times did you have sex?

The wrong types of questioning techniques, at the wrong time, in the hands of an unskilled counselors,
can cause unnecessary discomfort and confusion to the client.

The following describe five problem questioning techniques:

• Multiple questions (bombarding,/grilling) This occurs when counselors ask several questions at
once. For example “Please tell me about yourself – how old are you, where were you born, do
you have any children and what do you do for a living?”
• Questions as statements: This occurs when counselors use questions as a way to sell their own
points of view. For example, “Don’t you think it would be helpful if you studied more?” “What
do you think of trying relaxation exercises instead of what you are doing now?”

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 • Questions and cultural differences: This is where a counselor needs to be aware of any cultural
influences that may make asking questions inappropriate for clients from a specific culture. For
example asking questions about taboos in an insensitive manner.
• Why questions: This is where the counselor asks too many why questions. For example “Why did
you do that?

4) Summarizing
Counsellor summarizes sometimes in their own words what the client has said. Summarizing helps the
client to be aware and confirm whether what they have said has been well understood by the counsellor.

5) Focusing
Focusing skill helps the client to identify the specific issue of concern in the here and now. It helps the
client to move from facts to feelings. It is easy for the client to get side tracked during the counseling
session. The counselor may need to help the client focus on the important issues. The aim of focusing is
to prioritize. Focusing brings clarity and perspective to counseling. The counselor can also help the client
focus on goals that can be achieved with relative ease.

6) Minimal prompts (responding)

Minimum prompts are brief verbal or non-verbal expressions of interest meant to encourage the client
keep on talking. They assure the client that you are together e.g.; “am with you”, “I see”, “mhh”, “yah”,
[Link] purpose of responding to a client is to stimulate her to a deeper self-exploration and to show the
client that the counselor is fully in tune with her experiences because they have been understood.
Responding communicates that you are attentive.

Responding is done through repeating, rewording and restating what the client is saying; e.g.
Client: “Life is not worth living”Counselor: “Did I hear you say that life is not worth living?”

7) Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing involves getting out important details of what the client is saying. The counsellor re-
expresses the statements of the client without mimicking or parroting. The skill brings out clarifications
of information between the client and the counsellor. It also assures the client that the counsellor is
following what the client is saying.

8) Confronting/challenging
Confronting/challenging skill is used when the counsellor realizes that the client has some resistance or
wrong attitudes. It can also be used when the client changes the subject of discussion, attempts to create
friendship and social chat or behaves in a manner that calls for explanations or employs defence
mechanisms. Confronting/challenging does not involve ultimatums and threats.

Challenging the client appropriately helps them clarify issues especially where there are discrepancies
between verbal and non-verbal. The counselor can point out that what the client is saying is not what he is
communicating. The client if therefore asked to clarify the discrepancy. This helps in defining the
underlying problem as opposed to the presenting problem. It helps the client to prioritize issues

9) Immediacy
Immediacy involves the issues in the here and now (in the session). It is used to address certain
expressions by the client, which may need clarification. Every response of the client which causes
concern should be addressed using immediacy. This is the skill of clearing the air about things in the
sessions that could make the situation uncomfortable for the client and for the counsellor and which might
interfere with the therapeutic outcome of counselling.

10) Self disclosure

Self-disclosure means that the counsellor opens up to the client and shares constructively some of their
own experiences, thoughts and feelings which they think can help the client. This may act as an
encouragement to the client so that they view their issues as normal. But it should be done only when

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necessary. The skill makes the counsellor appear honest and down to earth. Self-disclosure involves
skilfully and appropriately sharing your personal experiences with the client if you thinks that the
disclosure can help the kind to reflect on their situation and look at the problem from a different
perspective.

There are many more counselling skills, the above are adequate to facilitate a helping relationship.

COUNSELLOR CORE CONDITIONS/ATTITUDES

Empathy

Empathy means understanding. This is the ability of the counsellor to feel “as if” she is the client
especially when the person is hurt – putting oneself into somebody else’s shoes so that you help them.
The counsellor has to understand the feelings, perceptions and thoughts of the client and communicate the
same. Simple language should be used while communicating empathy. Empathy can be expressed in
verbal and non-verbal ways e.g; a pat on the back or a nod. so that you help them.

Genuineness

This means being real, sincere and not wearing masks or being phoney. The helper has to portray virtues
of honesty and integrity in then working relationships. Helpers do not give double messages. The
counsellors should always be aware of their weaknesses, feelings and thoughts. The advantage of a
counsellor being honest with the client is that the client will learn to be honest with him/herself as well as
with others.

Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) - Warmth

This means providing warmth and acceptance to the client. UPR means being non-judgmental; it means
accepting the clients as they are without conditions whether they are clean or dirty. It is allowing the
client to be free, to be themselves and respecting them. The counsellor should never ignore, reject,
ridicule or embarrass the client. When clients are shown acceptance, they also accept themselves.
Acceptance does not mean that the counsellor agrees with the client. This attitude is characterized by
smiling, eye contact and non-verbal attending behavior e.g., offering a seat, being jovial, etc. It helps in
developing rapport.

When core conditions are communicated a client feels respected.

Respectis a sense of worth a person feels as a human being. It is a way of appreciating clients and their
potential for growth and for solving their own problems and recognizing the clients’ right to make their
own decisions. Respect also means keeping clients issues confidential.

ETHICAL PRINCIPLES OF COUNSELLING PRACTICE

The following are some principles important for counsellors to review throughout their professional
practice. Counsellors should think of them as just guidelines and should apply them to themselves and
attempt to formulate their own views and positions regarding them. These ethical issues demand
periodic reflection and an openness to [Link] principles below adopted from the British Association
of Counselling and Psychotherapy (1990).

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Autonomy concerns respecting the right of the client and ensuring the client takes responsibility for
themselves. In counselling the right of the client to make his or her own decisions is respected.
Autonomy means the client comes for counselling voluntarily. Counseling is voluntarily and
deliberately undertaken by counsellor and client. It is different from other ways of helping.

Non-maleficence is making sure that as a counsellor no harm is caused to the [Link] will
be properly trained for their roles and be committed to maintaining their competence. In order not to
cause any harm, counsellors must not misrepresent their training or experience. They need to become
aware of the boundaries of their competence, and seek qualified supervision. They should make
themselves familiar with the resources in the community so that they can make appropriate referrals.
Counsellors must continually monitor their own skills, experience, resources and [Link] that takes
place between counsellor and client is treated with respect and discretion.

Beneficence is a rule that enhances the well-being of the client so that in a counselling relationship the
counsellor works for the benefit of the client, free from any form of manipulation. Counsellors need to be
aware of what their needs are, what they are getting from their work, and how their needs and behaviours
influence their clients. It is essential the counsellor’s own needs not be met at the client’s expense.
Counsellors do not abuse their position of trust financially, emotionally or sexually.

Justice means being fair to all; it involves treating the clients equally while being aware and respecting
of individual uniqueness of the clients. Counsellors must realise that they teach their clients through a
modelling process. Thus, they should attempt to practice in their own lives what they encourage in their
clients. Counsellors need to learn a process for thinking about and dealing with ethical dilemmas,
realizing that most ethical issues are complex and defy simple solutions. They must exercise their own
judgments in applying these principles to particular cases. They realize that many problems have no clear-
cut answers, and they accept the responsibility of searching for appropriate solutions.

Fidelity requires counsellors to keep promises including confidentiality, respecting the clients wish to
remain anonymous. It also involves making sure that all appointments are kept on time and any other
contract between the counsellor and the client are honoured. Before counseling starts, the counsellor
clarifies with the client the basis on which counseling is to be given including method, duration, fees and
[Link] can be subsequently made only with the agreement of the client. It is the
counsellor’s responsibility to inform clients of any circumstances that are likely to affect the
confidentiality of their relationship and any other matters that are likely to negatively influence the
counselling relationship.

Confidentiality

Confidentiality is very important in a therapeutic relationship. Client’s issues told in confidence must not
be disclosed. Confidentiality facilitates trust which motivates the client to disclose personal information
to the counsellor.

Confidentiality is vital in creating a safe environment for clients to explore issues that are causing them
emotional and psychological disturbance

 There are however limits to confidentiality and where such limits exist they must be discussed with
the client.

Limitations of confidentiality

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It is normal for us to ask contracted personnel to write reports about counselling. Any discussions with
professional colleagues or publications in newspapers or journals must be purposeful, anonymous not
trivialising and with permission from the institution you are involved with.

It is the counsellor’s responsibility to inform clients of any circumstances that are likely to affect the
confidentiality of their relationship and any other matters that are likely to negatively influence the
counselling relationship.

Any kind threats, abuse or violence to children must be reported to the guardian or relevant authority.

As the counselor you need to ensure that the client understands and consents to shared confidentiality
from the onset of the counselling relationship.

Note

Counsellors ought to be aware of the need to exercise their own judgements in applying these principles
in particular cases. They need to realise that many problems have no clear-cut answers and they accept
the responsibility of searching for appropriate interventions through appropriate referals.

They must demonstrate professional maturity; they need to learn a process of thinking about and dealing
with ethical dilemmas, realising that most ethical issues are complex and defy simple solutions. The
willingness to seek consultation is a sign of professional maturity.

Counsellors should have the training and experience. They need to become aware of the boundaries of
their competence, and seek qualified supervision. They should make themselves familiar with the
resources in the community so that they can make appropriate referrals.

Counsellors must realise that they teach their clients through a modelling process. Thus, they should
attempt to practice in their own lives what they encourage in their clients. Counsellors should avoid any
relationship with clients that are clearly a threat to therapy.

WORKING THERAPEUTICALLY WITH CLIENTS

COUNSELLING SESSIONS

The counsellor will be expected to offer psychological counselling to clients

 Each session to last 45 minutes to one hour

 See not more than five clients in any single day
 Ensure you get a break between sessions (about 15 minutes). The break will give you time to
capture any messages you may want to work on regarding the session.
 Work within the ethical principles set out for counselling
 There are aspects of a counseling setting that will contribute to improved communication with
clients during a session
 Comfort – a comfortable setting improves client expression of feelings.
 Security/privacy – providing the client with security during a session.

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  Noise control – ensuring that noise does not affect communication.
 Stimuli control – a neutral environment (light colors and decoration).
 Supportive environment – a space in which the client can share in their own pace.
 Contracting; involves specifying the time the session will take, the number of sessions, fee if any,
issues of confidentiality and any other matter that helps the client to be at ease.

The following are some steps you may wish to think about as you embark in counselling.

1. Building a working alliance/Contracting

 As you meet the client begin to build a working alliance/relationship by introducing yourself and
asking the client’s name. Ask the client the name she/ he would prefer to use in the session.
 Create a safe environment for the client. Make the client comfortable. Give appropriate disclosure
of yourself that will make the client comfortable. Briefly explain what counselling is and explore
client’s expectations.
 Negotiate a contract to communicate your availability, length of session and degree of
confidentiality. Judge how much needs to be negotiated as a client in great emotional distress
may not have much energy or patience to hear terms of contract. However, do communicate
minimum information if you encounter such a case.
 It is the client’s choice whether or not to participate in counselling; it is ok if they feel they do not
want to continue with the session.

2. Establishing and maintaining the counselling relationship

 Communicate empathy, acceptance/ respect, genuineness and openness.

 Recognize/ make explicit issues of transference and counter-transference if any.
 As you work in the session, empower the client and enable them to explore and identify their real
issues and concerns. Being creative and artistic depends on you developing all your senses to act
as an instrument to facilitate change.
 Monitor the progress, review and re-contract if necessary.
 Pace the session to help the client focus on self rather than others

3. Self-awareness within the session

 You will need to differentiate your own internal world from that of the client; be present one
hundred percent for the client.
 Use your own awareness to further the work with the client and be aware of how differences in
age, culture, race etc, may affect the interaction with the client.
 Be in touch with your own values, beliefs and attitudes. Do not impose your values on the client;
rather respect the differences and move the session forward.
 Being self aware helps you to work ethically and authentically.
 It also helps you know the limits of your competence.

4. Reflecting, Recording

 Writing notes during the sessions is not permitted as it will restrict your listening; the clients may
feel intimidated and/or may focus on your writing and not their issues.
 Devise and use methods of reflecting immediately after the session to capture any messages or
information you find important.

5. Referring the client

 When you feel that the session is not moving forward and that you may have exhausted your
physical, mental and emotional resources, you may want to refer the client to another counsellor.
It is OK; do not feel like you have failed.
 Remember ethics demand that you ensure the safety of the client.

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  Negotiate with the client about the referral without the client feeling rejected or that she/ he is too
difficult or too ill. Sometimes it may require you to say NO! and keep the boundaries.

6. Ending the Session

 Bring the session to a logical [Link] client may share what she/he wants to do. Ask for
feedback on how the client feels about the session.
 Negotiate the time for the next meeting if any and agree on referral if necessary.

7. After the Session

 Assess your own feelings. Are your tired? What emotions did the session evoke in you? How can
you regain your strength before the next client? You may need to visit the washroom and indulge
in some relaxation exercise. Oblige.
 If you feel that you need to talk to someone, call the supervisor or talk to your colleague at the
end of the day. At the initial stage of this programme, the supervisor will be readily available.

COMMUNICATION

Communication is one of the fundamental necessities of our relationships with other people, whether it is
a stranger, work colleague, family member, child or life partner. While our interpersonal relationships can
be rewarding, many of us find ourselves in situations of mis-communication and communication
breakdown, often leading to interpersonal conflict.

Sometimes people misinterpret what we are saying or our intentions? Sometimes people totally miss the
meaning of what someone else was communicating to them. Sometimes individuals have difficulty
expressing what they would like to say. Many of us are confronted with situations like this in our
relationships with [Link] are left feeling like we are not being heard and our relationships suffer.

In order to communicate effectively with others (interpersonal communication) it is important to

communicate effectively with one self (intrapersonal communication

Interpersonal communication (communicating with others) can be defined as the process of transmitting
and receiving messages to and from other individuals. When people are communicating, they’re being
bombarded with information which, in most cases, they vastly fail to perceive. Why? Because people are
not aware of the manner in which others perceive the world and themselves. They may have a rough idea,
and even share some commonalities, but being able to predict interpretation of meaning to its full extent
is impossible. However, it is possible to recognize some general trends.

Forms of communication: There are mainly two forms of communication; verbal and non-verbal

 Non verbal communication is the use of body language, sign language, verbal language, writing,
gestures, broadcasting – you name it, it is part of the process of communication. Communication is a
broad concept and its history can be traced from a wide variety of pathways. Gesture and body
language are the most primitive forms of communication, being practiced even before humans were
able to produce ‘sound’ verbal language. Non-verbal communication also involved the use of written
language.
 Verbal language is possibly the most prominent human form of communication (albeit not the most
used – it is perceived to be only 7% to 11% of communication). Some philosophers affirm that our

22
 capacity to verbally communicate with each other is the link which separates humans from other
animals in the evolutionary scale.

Elements of Communication: Communication has core elements or structure:

• Sender, Receiver,Message/context, Channel, Feedback.

When the first ‘message’ is produced, a receiver will interpret that message according to his personal
background (values, culture, experiences, knowledge and more) and according to the context in which the
message was produced (situation, relevance, sender characteristics and more).

Effective Communication

Effective communication does not only involve the transmission of a message, but also ensuring that the
other person is devoting enough attention and that the environment is appropriate to transmit the message
(controlling the ‘noise’ and ‘interruption’ levels).

A good communicator combines both verbal and non-verbal communication methods to achieve the best
results. As one speaks, he/she needs to use illustrations or emphasize points by using signs, facial
expressions, body movements or pictures.

Qualities of a Good Communicator

 Listen actively
 Be enthusiastic, honest and confident
 Be calm and relaxed, talk slowly and clearly
 Use simple and appropriate language
 Provide clear guidance and instructions
 Use positive language
 Maintain good eye contact
 Give appropriate examples

Barriers to communication: Considering its complexity, understanding the core challenges to

interpersonal communication can vastly improve the process of interpreting people’s messages, and
helping them understand how to interpret yours. There are several communication spoilers, some of these
are as follows:

Judging

 Criticizing – making a negative evaluation of the other person.

 Name-calling – stereotyping the other person.
 Diagnosing – analyzing the other person’s behavior.
 Praising evaluatively – making excessive positive judgments to the other person.

Sending Solutions

 Ordering – commanding the other person to do something you would like.

 Threatening – controlling the other person’s actions by warning about consequences.
 Moralizing – telling what the other person should do in a given situation.

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  Inappropriate or excessive questioning – using close-ended questions in excess.
 Advising – giving the other person a solution to a problem.

Avoiding the Other’s Concerns

 Diverting – “pushing” a solution to the other person’s problems.

 Logical argument – attempting to convince the other with an appeal to logic and facts.
 Reassuring – trying to stop the other person from feeling negative emotions.

Personal barriers

 Poor understanding of the subject. This can be due to incorrect or insufficient information.
 Negative attitude can affect the impact of the message on others. A negative attitude can either be
due to lack of empathy (feeling for others) or prejudice (being judgmental).
 Age differences between the sender and the receiver can be a barrier.
 Destructive gestures, expressions and signs, and inappropriate tone of voice.

Socio-cultural barriers

 These may include religious and cultural backgrounds which may differ and interfere with
communication.
 Sex difference; some people may prefer to communicate with people of the same sex.
 Language differences.

Basic Communication Skills

Once the appropriate counselling setting has been provided, it is time to apply basic communication skills
to help improve the client’s expression of emotions and formulation of thoughts. Such rules are beneficial
for any communication process, but particularly important during a counselling relationship.

 Listening well – valuing the client and demonstrating interest for the conversation.
 Attending – being present with the whole of your body and mind; listening, observing, etc.
 Observing – observing body language, voice tone and emotive expressions.
 Acknowledgement – the recognition for the client’s initiative to state his/her issues.
 Awareness – ensuring that the counsellor’s body language is appropriate for the context.
 Thinking – reasoning about what is and what is not appropriate input to the process.
 Verbal expression – ensuring the use of the appropriate tone, rhythm and volume of voice.
 Reflecting – clarifying and verifying what the client has expressed to the counsellor.

Role of Communication in Counselling

Being able to effectively communicate is a counsellor’s intrinsic role. The counsellor’s job during a
session is to provide support to clients, and it commences during the client’s initial assessment. In most
cases, the client’s emotional state will become a barrier for him or her to effectively communicate with
the counsellor – at this point, it is the time to observe the client’s body language in order to recognise
what is occurring ‘between the lines’. It is reasonable to affirm that the counsellor’s main focus in the
communication process is to focus on the client’s expression, and if needed, encourage that expression.
Communicating effectively helps to build a relationship that is favourable to the therapeutic outcome of
counselling. It helps the client in expressing his/her issues, improves the counsellor’s ability to capture the
messages which are being given, and encourage positive feedback from the client.

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THEORIES OF COUNSELLING
Theories are ideas or concepts that help to explain a phenomenon. In counselling, theories help us to
understand how and why people develop and sustain maladaptive behaviour and how people can be
helped to change behaviour. Like other professions, counseling practice is grounded in theoretical
approaches. There are four main theories of counseling all derived from psychology. These are:

 Psychoanalysis
 Behavioural
 Cognitive
 Humanistic (Person-centred)

There is also a model called Eclectic model that uses parts of all or some the theories.

OVERVIEW OF PSYCHOANALYTIC THEORY

Proponents: Sigmund Freud; Erik Erikson

In counseling Psychoanalysis theory is known as “the first force”. Originator of psychoanalysis was
Sigmund Freud (1856 – 1939). As a doctor his interest in hypnosis and his family upbringing were seen
as some of the factors that had significant influence on his ideas. In particular, his feelings towards his
mother greatly influenced the concept of personality development based on psychosexual stages
experienced in childhood.

Views of human nature:

 People are regarded as bad, brutal/animal like driven by hidden hostile biological impulses and
instinctual drives of aggression and pleasure.

 The two main instinctual drives are Eros and Thanatos.

Eros is the instinct for life; survival, encompasses, libido, nurturing, creativity, pleasure etc.

Thanatos is the death instinct which accounts for aggressive drives. This sometimes manifests as an
unconscious wish to die or hurt people.

Behaviour that is maladaptive is shown by anxiety (which is an internal process) through thoughts,
feelings resulting out of past experiences. In an effort to avoid anxiety the individual copes
unconsciously by distorting reality through defence mechanism such as denial, projection, repression.
Help client talk about thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations.

Therapy Focus/goal create insight into the root causes of the problem by exploring the clients past.
Therapy helps clients to talk about their thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations. Therapy promotes
personal understanding of the problem (the causes) – the client gains insight. Focus of therapy is on the
past experiences so that we have clues to present [Link] counsellor acts as anblank screen where
client can project their feelings. Focus on defence mechanisms as a route to underlying anxieties and
(hidden) feelings and meanings.

Counsellor/client relationship: the counsellor is the expert as the counsellors role is that of interpreting
and analysing. The focus of the relationship between the client and therapist is through working out

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defense mechanisms and transference and counter-transference; allowing the client to explore the
parallels between their past and present experience and gain new insight and understanding that can be
the basis of personality change.

Techniques used for therapy include:

 Free association (letting the client talk freely),

 Analysis of defence mechanism and resistance
 Analysis of transference and counter-transference,
 Interpretation and analysis of dreams (use dreams to record insight into problems).

These techniques are geared towards increasing self-awareness, gaining intellectual insight and
reorganization of the personality. Therapist had no contact with the client but to listen.

Contributions

 This theory has contributed to practice of counseling and

 The understanding of human personality development

Limitations

 Too subjective focuses on the past and ignores the present and the environment

 It was stated that it is time consuming, impersonal, expensive, and tedious and conducted only by
an expert therapist.

CONCEPTS OF PSYSCHOANALYSIS
The following are some of the concepts of psychoanalysis

 Conscious and unconscious

 Structure of personality (mind)
 Anxiety
 Personality development

A) Conscious and unconscious:

 Freud argued that our behaviour is largely a result of unconscious motivation;

 That our problems are deeply rooted in our childhood experiences and we are not conscious of
these.

 These early childhood experiences are significant in later personality development of an adult and
that the effects of these experiences continue to influence the adult without them being aware of
the it.

Analogy of unconsciousness is the iceberg. Evidence of unconscious is in slips of the tongue, dreams, and
wishes.

Example of unconsciousness iceberg (the problems we see are just a tip the real problems is
hidden).Evidence of unconscious is in slips of the tongue, dreams, and wishes.

The primary goal of therapy is to make the unconscious conscious. Psychoanalysis seeks the growth of
the ego through the analysis of resistance and transference allowing the ego to solve the unconscious
conflicts. The aim is for the client to gain insight into their problems.

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B) The structure of the mind (personality)

Freud described that there are three systems in the mind, that is, ID, EGO and Superego; this is an
unconscious process

 ID is the biological component which a child is born with. It is described as pleasure

seeking, illogical/lacks rationale and unconscious. This is predominantly in the first to
second year of life.

 EGO is described as the centre for rationale/ intelligence. It functions on reality principle. It
is the executive of the body. It is a go-in-between the ID and the Superego.

 The Superego – the third sub-system is the judicial aspect which maintains the moral code,
perfection. It thrives on the ideal more than the reality of the Ego.

According to Freud, all these three sub-systems must balance for normal development. If Ego in its
reality principle is unable to control the demands for ID and the authority of the Superego, the individual
person develops anxiety that may destabilize her/his life.

C) Human Personality development:

Freud proposed that human personality is development between the ages of 0 and 6 years. Freud’s stages
are known as

Freud’s Psychosexual stages of human development

Freud indicated that human personality is determined in the first six years of life after which it cannot
change. He identified five stages: Oral, anal, phallic, latent and genital stages. If these stages are not well
negotiated, this failure will be felt in future by the concerned individual.

 Oral Stage (0-2): Initial stage of psycho-sexual development, during which the mouth is the
primary source of gratification; a time when the infant is learning to trust or mistrust the world.
 Anal Stage (2-4): The second stage of psycho-sexual development, at which time pleasure is
derived from retaining and expelling waste.
 Phallic stage (4-6): The third stage of psycho-sexual development during which the child gains
maximum gratification through direct experience with the genitals. During this stage a boy
experiences unconscious sexual desire for his mother and is known as Oedipus complex. The
girl’s unconscious sexual desire for her father is known as Electra complex.
 Latency stage (7-12): The fourth stage of psycho-sexual development that is relatively calm
before the storm of adolescence.
 Genital stage (13 and above): The final stage of psychosexual development usually attained
during adolescence in which heterosexual interests and activities are predominant.

Another psychologist Erick Erickson added that apart from the above stages proposed by Freud human
development occurs throughout one’s lifespan and is shaped by the environment.

Erick Erickson’s Psychosocial Stages of Human Development

Erickson’s psychosocial approach emphasized the development of the individual self at various stages of
a person’s growth throughout a life span. He explained eight psychological stages through which a
healthily developing human should pass from infancy to late adulthood. In each stage the person
confronts, and hopefully masters, new challenges. Each stage builds on the successful completion of
earlier stages. The challenges of stages not successfully completed may be expected to reappear as
problems in the future.

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1) Trust vs Mistrust (0-2 years)

The major development task is to develop basic trust on the mother and transfer to the others. Child
develops trust if positive and mistrust if negative. Positive trust, result to faithfulness, self-confidence,
gratification of need, desire and love. Failure may lead to pessimism and mistrust etc. Virtue: Hope

2) Autonomy vs shame and doubt (2 - 3yrs)

Child exploits environment and becomes self sufficient. Major talk is self control and independence with
the environment. The child feels shame especially when they are not sure of their performance. The child
requires to be appreciated for them to grow well. If not appreciated shame, shyness and fear develops.
Non –achievement results to inability to perform. Main Question: "Can I do things myself or must I
always rely on others?" Virtue: Will

3) Initiative vs guilt (4-5 yrs)

Child develops sense of purpose and ability to initiate and direct one’s ability. Discover other actions and
have their own imaginations. Achievement results into assertive and independence and the child enjoy
learning and this leads to personal growth and development. Non- achievement results to inadequacy and
a sense of defeat. Main Question: "Am I good or am I bad?" Virtue: Purpose

4) Industry vs inferiority (6-12 yrs)

The child has gone to school and master skill. The task here is the sense of confidence. Inferiority
complex develops in case of failure in class; if they were not encouraged by their parents to work hard.
Non-achievement results in difficulties in interpersonal relationship and feelings of inadequacy etc. "Am I
successful or worthless? “Virtue: Competence

5) Identity vs role confusion (12-19 yrs)

Stage of confusion because of development understand himself if prepared for adolescent stage. Develop
self identity; commitment is meant to value self to a choice of career and relationships with opposite sex.
Achievement results to independence in decision making, non-achievement result to self conscious,
confusion and doubts about one’s in life.

6) Intimacy vs. Isolation (Young Adults, 20 to 39 years)

Once people have established their identities, they are ready to make long-term commitments to others.
They become capable of forming intimate, reciprocal relationships (e.g. through close friendships or
marriage) and willingly make the sacrifices and compromises that such relationships require. If people are
not able to form intimate relationships a sense of isolation may result. Main Question: "Am I loved and
wanted?" or "Shall I share my life with someone or live alone?" Virtue: Love

7) Generativity vs. Stagnation (Middle Adulthood, 40 to 64 years)

This is middle age where the concern of establishing and guiding the next generation (parenting,
educating, etc). Socially-valued work and disciplines are expressions of generativity. Simply having or
wanting children is not enough; making a contribution during this period, (e.g working toward the good
of society), results in a sense of generativity (productivity/accomplishment). In contrast, a person who is

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self-centered and unable or unwilling to help society move forward develops a feeling of stagnation; a
dissatisfaction with the relative lack of productivity. Main Question: "Will I produce something of real
value?" Virtue: Care

8) Ego Integrity vs. Despair (seniors, 65 years onwards)

As we grow older and become senior citizens we tend to slow down our productivity and explore life as a
retired person. It is during this time that we contemplate our accomplishments and are able to develop
integrity if we see ourselves as leading a successful life. In this stage people look back on their lives and
accomplishments. If we see our life as unproductive, or feel that we did not accomplish our life goals, we
become dissatisfied with life and develop despair, often leading to depression and hopelessness. Main
Question: "Have I lived a full life?" Virtue: Wisdom

Conclusion:Healthy personality development is based on successful resolution of both psychosexual and

psychosocial issues at various stages of development. Problems arise as a result of a person failing to
meet some critical developmental task or becoming fixated at some early level of development.

D) Anxiety and Defense Mechanism

When the ego is unable to balance the psychic energy between the id and the superego, an anxiety state
arises. There are three types of anxiety states;

Freud identified three types of anxiety:

1. Neurotic anxiety is the unconscious worry that we will lose control of the id's urges, resulting in
punishment for inappropriate behavior.

2. Reality anxiety is fear of real-world events. The cause of this anxiety is usually easily identified.
For example, a person might fear receiving a dog bite when they are near a menacing dog. The
most common way of reducing this anxiety is to avoid the threatening object.

3. Moral anxietyinvolves a fear of violating our own moral principles.

In order to deal with this anxiety, Freud believed that defense mechanisms helped shield the ego from the
conflicts created by the id, superego, and reality. This happens mostly at the unconscious level and the
aim is to either deny or distort reality.

Defense Mechanisms

Denial: Denial is probably one of the best known defense mechanisms, used often to describe situations
in which people seem unable to face reality or admit an obvious truth (i.e., "he is in denial."). Denial is an
outright refusal to admit or recognize that something has occurred or is currently occurring. Drug addicts
or alcoholics often deny that they have a problem, while victims of traumatic events may deny that the
event ever occurred. Denial functions to protect the ego from things that the individual cannot cope with.
While this may save us from anxiety or pain, denial is used to keep these unacceptable feelings from
consciousness.

Repression/Suppression is another well-known defense mechanism. Repression acts to keep information

out of conscious awareness. However, these memories don't just disappear; they continue to influence our

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behavior. For example, a person who has repressed memories of abuse suffered as a child may later have
difficulty forming relationships. Sometimes we do this consciously by forcing the unwanted information
out of our awareness, which is known as suppression. In most cases, however, this removal of anxiety-
provoking memories from our awareness is believed to occur unconsciously.

Displacement:Have ever had a really bad day at work and then gone home and taken out your frustration
on family and friends? Then you have experienced the ego defense mechanism of
[Link] involves taking out our frustrations, feelings, and impulses on people or
objects that are less threatening. Displaced aggression is a common example of this defense mechanism.
Rather than express our anger in ways that could lead to negative consequences (like arguing with our
boss), we instead express our anger towards a person or object that poses no threat (such as our spouse,
children, or pets).

Sublimation is a defense mechanism that allows us to act out unacceptable impulses by converting these
behaviors into a more acceptable form. For example, a person experiencing extreme anger might take up
kick-boxing as a means of venting frustration. Freud believed that sublimation was a sign of maturity that
allows people to function normally in socially acceptable ways.

Projection is a defense mechanism that involves taking our own unacceptable qualities or feelings and
ascribing them to other people. For example, if you have a strong dislike for someone, you might instead
believe that he or she does not like you. Projection works by allowing the expression of the desire or
impulse, but in a way that the ego cannot recognize, therefore reducing anxiety.

Intellectualization works to reduce anxiety by thinking about events in a cold, clinical way. This defense
mechanism allows us to avoid thinking about the stressful, emotional aspect of the situation and instead
focus only on the intellectual component. For example, a person who has just been diagnosed with a
terminal illness might focus on learning everything about the disease in order to avoid distress and remain
distant from the reality of the situation.

Rationalizationis a defense mechanism that involves explaining an unacceptable behavior or feeling in a

rational or logical manner, avoiding the true reasons for the behavior. For example, a person who is
turned down for a date might rationalize the situation by saying they were not attracted to the other person
anyway, or a student might blame a poor exam score on the instructor rather than his or her lack of
preparation. Rationalization not only prevents anxiety, it may also protect self-esteem and self-concept.
When confronted by success or failure, people tend to attribute achievement to their own qualities and
skills while failures are blamed on other people or outside forces.

Regression: When confronted by stressful events, people sometimes abandon coping strategies and revert
to patterns of behavior used earlier in development. Regression, suggests that people act out behaviors
from the stage of psychosexual development in which they are fixated. For example, an individual fixated
at an earlier developmental stage might cry or sulk upon hearing unpleasant news. Behaviors associated
with regression can vary greatly depending upon which stage the person is fixated at:

 An individual fixated at the oral stage might begin eating or smoking excessively, or might
become very verbally aggressive.

 A fixation at the anal stage might result in excessive tidiness or messiness or hoarding

Reaction formationreduces anxiety by taking up the opposite feeling, impulse or behavior. An example
of reaction formation would be treating someone you strongly dislike in an excessively friendly manner in
order to hide your true feelings. Why do people behave this way? According to Freud, they are using

30
reaction formation as a defense mechanism to hide their true feelings by behaving in the exact opposite
manner.

Introjections-swallowing wholesome the values beliefs of our significant others

Since Freud first described the original defense mechanisms, other researchers have continued to describe
other methods of reducing anxiety. Some of these defense mechanisms include:

 Acting Out: In this type of defense, the individual copes with stress by engaging in actions rather
than reflecting upon internal feelings.

 Affiliation: This involves turning to other people for support.

 Altruism:Satisfying internal needs through helping others.

 Avoidance: Refusing to deal with or encounter unpleasant objects or situations.

 Compensation: Overachieving in one area to compensate for failures in another.

 Humor: Pointing out the funny or ironic aspects of a situation.

 Passive-aggression: Indirectly expressing anger.

 Daydreaming: this is an escape from unpleasant boring or frustrating situations. This behavior
can be detrimental to an individual since it only provides momentary relief from anxiety.

 Idealization: this is placing a great value on someone or something in an exaggerated manner.

This behavior is detrimental since you may view a person unrealistically and deny any flaws the
person may have.

 Identification: this is the process in which an individual assumes the qualities of someone they
admire. This behavior makes an individual to see themselves as similar to the person and not
focus on their own uniqueness.

 Substitution replacing one goal for another unattainable goal. Substitution is not healthy when
the two goals are not closely related and an individual may need to deal with the results of not
attaining their goal (e.g. becoming a veterinary doctor rather than a medical doctor)

While defense mechanisms are often thought of as negative reactions, some of these defenses can be
helpful. For example, utilizing humor to overcome a stressful, anxiety-provoking situation can actually be
an adaptive defense mechanism. In other cases, they allow people to temporarily ease stress during
critical times, allowing them to focus on what is necessary in the moment.

COGNITIVE AND BEHAVIOUR THEORIES

BEHAVIOURAL THEORY
Behaviouraltherapies also known as “the second force” became popular in the early 1900 as a reaction to
psychoanalysis which they found to be subjective, unscientific and immeasurable. Others behavioural
concepts followed in the 1950s and 1960s. Behaviour theories promote behavior change

Proponents: include Ivan Pavlon, J B Skinner, and B F Skinner, Alfred Bandura and Alan Beck among
others

31
View of Human Nature: The theory believes that human behaviour is a product of learning; that a child
is born neutral and that behaviour is shaped through the environment he/she grows in. The approach also
likens human being to machines; they can be programmed; when broken can be repaired

Behaviour: the theory proposes that behavior is learnt and can also be unlearnt; that behaviours, good or
bad, are shaped by the environment that we live [Link] concepts of Behaviour theory is that behaviour is
learned and it can similarly be unlearned. People with unacceptable behaviour can learn acceptable
behaviour for example alcohol and drug abusers. They can stop the use of these drugs and resume their
normal lives.

The focus/goal of therapy:the focus of therapy is on behavior that needs to be changed or [Link]
goal of behaviour therapy is to assist the client to eliminate the unacceptable behaviour and learn more
appropriate behaviour patterns.

Relationship: the counsellor is the expert as they apply a variety of tools. The client and the therapist
work collaboratively to reach the necessary therapeutic goals and objectives. The role of the counselor is
to help the client explore alternative course of action and their possible consequences. Clients are
encouraged to experiment with the new behaviours both in and out of the session.

How behavior is learnt

Through experiments behavioral theorists demonstrated that behavior can be learnt in the following ways:

 Classical conditioning – learning by association

 Operant condition – learning by consequences
 Social learning – learning by observation

Classical Conditioning (Ivan Pavlov)

Ivan Pavlov experimented with dogs to determine human behaviour. He concluded that we learn by
association or availability (associating with something) and that one particular event follows another.
For example put a dog in a cage; before you give it meat switch on the lights,. If this reoccurs, the dog
begins to associate food with the bell and will salivate as soon as the lights are switched on because it is
hungry. Therefore if you switch on the lights and you have no food for the dog, the dog will still salivate
because it associated the lights with food.

Operant conditioning (J.B. Skinner) describes behaviour determined by its consequences (behaviour is
reinforced positively – reward or negatively – punishing) – e.g. in disciplining children re-enforcers’ can
be food, stroking, praise, outing. Positive signals they have done something correct – ends with
favourable results – leads to mastering the task or behaviour.

Negative signals something is incorrect – gradually response will die out (extinction). Therefore it is best
to discipline a child for antisocial behaviour immediately rather than later, when the behaviour and
consequences are easily associated

Behviourist believe human behavior can be predicted. At first behaviour occurs at random. Later it could
be predicted or controlled. If for example a pleasurable feeling is followed by a piece of behaviour, that
behavior is likely to be repeated. If the behavior is un-pleasurable it is unlikely to be repeated.

Social Learning theoryby Alfred Bandura proposes that we by observation and modelling (copying
others); e.g. a child leans vicariously from their parents acquiring behaviour modelled by the significant
others. Behaviour learnt can be appropriate or inappropriate. Social learning theory is also known as

32
vicarious learning. Social learning theory has become perhaps the most influential theory of learning and
development.

While rooted in many of the basic concepts of traditional learning theory his theory added a social
element, arguing that people can learn new information and behaviors by watching other people.

Known as observational learning (or modeling)there are three core concepts at the heart of social learning
theory.

 First is the idea that people can learn through observation.

 Next is the idea that internal mental states are an essential part of this process.
 Finally, this theory recognizes that just because something has been learned, it does not mean that
it will result in a change in behavior.

BehaviouralTherapy techniques

Behavioural theories employ a variety of techniques aimed at producing behaviour change. Some of the
techniques are:

 Relaxation exercises,
 Systematic desensitization,
 Vivo exposure (actual confronting fears
 Re-enforcement techniques,
 Self managementprogrammes
 Role modeling
 Setting goals, homework/assignments,

 Keeping a diary,
 Vivo exposure – actual confronting the fear; Relaxation techniques. Counsellor is expert;
interprets for the client
 Assertiveness training

Assertiveness training

Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s feelings, opinions, beliefs and needs directly, openly and
honestly, assert one’s rights whilst respecting the feelings and rights of another Non-assertive
individuals may be passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive.

Assertive individuals have fewer conflicts in their dealings with others, which translates into less
stress in their lives. It also results in stronger, more supportive relationships which can assist clients
with stress management.

Passive clients avoid conflict by not communicating their needs and feelings, but these behaviours
can damage relationships over time. They can feel like victims, avoiding confrontation. The other
party doesn’t know there’s a problem until the formerly passive individual reacts with explosion
(Stress, 2006).

Aggressiveness, in contrast, can alienate others and create undue stress. Those on the receiving end of
the aggressive behaviour can feel attacked and frequently avoid the aggressive individual.

Over time, people who behave aggressively have more failed relationships and little social support.
They don’t understand that this is often related to their own aggressive tendencies. Interestingly, they
often feel like victims, too (Stress, 2006).

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 It is beneficial for clients who are struggling with passive or aggressive communication to be
encouraged by counsellors to become more assertive. In this article, we discuss the assertiveness
skills that can be used to teach clients.

TheoryApplication the theory may be useful, in among others, addiction, depression, stress management,
phobic disorders and others. For the contributions, it may be useful on short term goals, tackling specific
problems at hand and child motivation by observing their parents and other people.

Limitations, therapist can easily manipulate the client to meet his/her goals/ objectives. This theory is
blind and silent to human values and human problems. The therapist is the expert/ teacher. The therapy
focuses only on behavior and over looks causes and feelings

COGNITIVE THEORY (Aaron Beck)

Aaron Beck is the person credited with the development of cognitive therapy.

Human Nature: Cognitive theory believes that “we are what we think” – that the mind influences our
behavior Cognitive therapy or CT assumes that the internal dialogue of clients plays a major role in their
behaviour. The ways in which peoplethinkand instruct themselves and interpret events shed light on the
dynamics of disorders such as depression and anxiety.

Behaviour: According to CT, behavior problems stem from faulty thinking and beliefs, making incorrect
inferences on the basis of inadequate or incorrect information and failing to distinguish between fantasy
and [Link] is portrayed, it stems from the mind. It involves thinking and reasoning
before any action is taken or before further changes occur.

The goal of CT is to change client’s negative thoughts and begin to introduce the idea of positive
thinking. Changes in beliefs and thought processes results in changes in the way people feel and how they
behave.

Counsellors Role is that of an expert as they aim to help clients change negative thoughts into more
positive thought patterns

Techniques include

 Disputing irrational believes,

 Cognitive homework,
 Changing one’s language
 Use of humor.

Theory application:Themost common application for CT is the treatment of depression and anxiety,
phobias, stress management and clinical training.

Limitations

One of the limitations of CT is that it does not emphasize the exploration of the client’s feelings

NOTE: Cognitive theory is closely linked to behavioural theory. It is difficult to separate behavioural
therapy from cognitive therapy hence they are usually grouped together and called cognitive behavior
therapy

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HUMANISTIC THEORIES/PERSON CENTRED THEORIES
Humanistic theories are commonly referred to as “the third force” as they are reactions to psychoanalysis
and hehavioural theories

View of Human Nature;

 All human beings are essentially good.

 All human beings are capable of self-direction, actualization and reaching their full potential

Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 – 1970) was a psychologist who lived and worked in America. During
his early career, whilst studying laboratory monkeys, Maslow noticed that some needs took precedence
over others, e g. If you are hungry and thirsty you tend to take care of the thirst first – thirst is a stronger
need than hunger. People can survive without food for longer than they can survive without fluids. It was
from observations such as this that Maslow developed his theory of human needs which became known
as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Maslow placed needs in an order or priority with basic needs (those necessary for survival) at the bottom
of the pyramid working up to a pinnacle of complete well-being.

 Basic Needs (water, food, shelter, clothing)

 Security Needs (freedom from danger and threats)
 Social Needs (need to be loved; have a sense of belonging)
 Esteem Needs (need to be productive, be valued and respected and recognized
 Actualization Needs (need to be creative, achieve full potential)

Maslow believed that each level must be met before progressing to the next stage, eg. a person must have
his/her physiological needs (food, water, warmth, etc.) satisfied before trying to satisfy higher needs.
There is some overlap between the levels but in general if lower needs are met then progression can be
made towards the top of the pyramid. Maslow felt that it would be difficult to reach your full potential
unless most of the other, lower level needs had been met.

MASLOWS HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

ACTUALIZATION
full potential -
creativity needs

achieving full
SELF-ESTEEMbeing
potential valued
Respected, being productive
productive

SOCIAL NEEDS – love, sense of belonging

S
Belonging, being valued, friendship
SAFETY NEEDS – feeling secure from danger
Protection from danger and threat

PHYSICAL NEEDS – water, food, shelter, clothing

Food, Water, Warmth Shelter, Clothing
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 Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PERSON CENTRED THEORY (Carl Rogers)

Carl Rogers developed the person centred theory from Humanistic theories made popular by Abraham
Maslow

View of human nature

People have deep need for relating and communication with others and are basically social beings. People
are motivated towards self-actualization (that is achieving their potential).

View of Human Nature;

 That, human being are good

 Human being are like plants (Organimistic) and if nurtured they will grow to great heights by
itself and achieve their full potential (self-actualization)
 All human beings can be motivated to develop positively and constructively if given the right
climate of trust and respect; in the context of a caring relationship

Behaviour: is influenced by feelingsabout self orthe self-concept(conditions of worth)

 The Self-image and Body image (how you see yourself and your body)
 Self-esteem (values you attach to yourself)
 Ideal Self (how you would like to be)

There is an intimate relationship between the self-image, ideal self and self-esteem. If there is a mismatch
between how you see yourself (self image) or actual experience and what you would like to be (your ideal
self) then this is likely to affect how much you value yourself (self esteem); this is called incongruence

Where a person’s ideal self and actual experience are consistent or very similar, a state of congruence
exists. However it is rare that a state of congruence exists; all people experience a certain amount of
incongruence.

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Behaviour is said to be maladaptive when feelings of inner experiences are at odds with the self which is
presented to the outside world. Problems also arise when one does not act on their own internal
evaluations (their real self) but rather on other people’s perception of them. All too often people are not
functioning well; they are moving in one direction while their awareness of conscious lives are struggling
in another.

Problems are caused by negative concepts of self which works to block the actualising tendency (growth
pattern). Actualising or growth pattern involves a development towards maintaining enhancing and
reproducing itself. Each person needs to be fully themselves; aware ofwho they are.

Carl Rogers in believed that for a person to achieve self actualization, they must be in a state of
congruence. The development of congruence is dependent on unconditional positive regard; one of the
Rogers, Core Conditions that are necessary and essential in a counseling situations.

CORE CONDITIONS (Carl Rogers)

Carl Rogers proposes that there are three core conditions that are necessary and sufficient for change to
take place. These are qualities and also skills in counseling

 Genuineness (sincerity)
 Unconditionalpositive regard (warm, caring, loving, accepting, respectful, non-judgmental)
 Empathy – understanding. Promotes personal growth

Empathy
Empathy means understanding; the ability of the counsellor to feel “as if” she is the client especially
when the person is hurt – putting oneself into somebody else’s shoes so that you help them. The
counsellor has to understand the feelings, perceptions and thoughts of the client and communicate the
same. Simple language should be used to communicate empathy. Empathy can be expressed in verbal and
non-verbal ways e.g.; a pat on the back or a nod.

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Genuineness

This means being real, sincere and not wearing masks or being phoney. The helper has to portray virtues
of honesty and integrity in the working relationships. Helpers do not give double messages. The
counsellors should always be aware of their weaknesses, feelings and thoughts. The advantage of a
counselor being honest with the client is that the client will learn to be honest with him/herself as well as
with others

Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) - Warmth

This means providing warmth and acceptance to the client. UPR means being non-judgmental; it means
accepting the clients as they are without conditions whether they are clean or dirty. It is allowing the
client to be free, to be themselves and respecting them. The counsellor should never ignore, reject,
ridicule or embarrass the client. When clients are shown acceptance, they also accept themselves.
Acceptance does not mean that the counsellor agrees with the client. This attitude is characterized by
smiling, eye contact and non verbal attending behavior e.g., offering a seat, being jovial, etc. It helps in
developing rapport. When core conditions are communicated a client feels [Link] is a sense
of worth a person feels as a human being. It is a way of appreciating clients and their potential for growth
and for solving their own problems and recognizing the clients’ right to make their own decisions.
Respect also means keeping clients issues confidential.

Therapy focus:

 The task of therapy is help client remove blocks to growth by focusing on how people feel about
themselves in the present, past and future.
 It focuses on giving the client the right environment so that they can reflect on their issues, overcome
their problems and become self-work towards achieving their full potential.
 It helps clients reconnect with their inner valuing system (the self-concept) and understand who they
are, what they really feel and what changes they would like to make.
 Therapy focuses on creating an enabling environment through counsellor/client relationship. The
enabling environment is created by counsellor communicating core conditions;

Counsellor’s role is that of a facilitator; the Client is the expert who is considered to know best.
Interpretations come from the client’s changing perception of self.

Techniques:

 Active listing,
 Providing a safe environment (confidentiality, respect and core conditions)
 Reflection of feeling,

Reflection of feelings
 Reflection of feeling is to mirror the client’s attitudes so that they can be clarified and understood.
It is a means of self-confrontation or [Link] may be used immediately after a feeling has
been expressed, or summarized at a later point. In the later instance, the counselor tries to tie
together in one statement several feelings expressed by the client. For example, “I got the
impression that you are angry with your mother for not providing you with the correct
information. Is that true?”

Reflection of feeling indicates that the counselor understands correctly the client’s feelings or
emotions. This skill helps clients to identify and clarify their feelings and reactions by listening to
what is being described, and then reflecting them back to the client. A client may not fully

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 understand his/her feelings towards a specific situation. Feelings and emotions are often
unspoken. As a counselor, you can help the client to give the expression to feeling;

Traps in reflection
 The counselor may reflect his own reaction to the clients situation rather than the client’s own
feelings.
 The counselor’s reflections may be a result of her own prejudices and biases.
 Counsellors’ pretending to understand when they actually do not is dangerous as it leads to
eventual confusion and distrust.

Contributions

 Individual and group counseling

 Student-centered teaching and learning
 Parent-child relations and human relations training
 Anxiety disorders, alcoholism, interpersonal difficulties, depression, personality disorders
 Well suited for early phases of crisis intervention
 Administration and management and systems and institutions

Limitations:

 Does not focus on root causes or past of the problem

 Therapist is a possible danger as the core conditions are centered on therapist’s values and
attitudes (not skills)

ECLECTIC MODEL
Eclectic model involves borrowing the ‘best’ techniques and ideas from a variety of theories. This
approach believes that there is no one theory that is adequate and comprehensive enough to be use d with
all clients all the time; all theories have limitations and clients differ. Therefore to accommodate this
view, the eclectic model allows the counsellor to choose from all approaches, the appropriate material,
techniques, skills, etc for the client. At one time or another, the counsellor may have to use more than one
theory to effectively assist the client. However, it is important to have a stand in the theory one uses e.g.
humanistic theory and then others or just another one as it is appropriate.

GROUP COUNSELLING

This method of counseling requires the individual to share their personal experiences with others who are
experiencing similar problems, concerns and issues. The group meets at regular intervals, and sessions
can be facilitated by a qualified counsellor or an appointed member of the group. By sharing knowledge
and understanding in this way individuals form a supportive network with others, which in turn provides
an additional framework of support

Therapeutic Outcomes of Group Counseling

 Universality - the realization that one's concerns or problems are not unique or rare but, in fact, also
are experienced by others.

 Instillation of hope – a key factor in encouraging hope in life and attainment of goals

 Imparting information - explanation and clarification reduces uncertainty and confusion while
promoting understanding, a prerequisite to adjustment and managing problems successfully

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 Altruism - provides opportunities for an individual to be of help to others; group members benefit
significantly from the support and advice they provide one another.

 Imitative behavior - learning from observing and listening to the group counselor and also learning
from observing and listening to one another

 Group cohesion – feeling of a sense of solidarity and belonging; they value the group and feel valued
in return.

 Interpersonal learning - involves coming to know oneself without distortions, understanding how one
is perceived by others, and realizing how one can improve interpersonal functioning

 Development of socializing techniques- affords the opportunity to replace inadequate or maladaptive

thoughts and behaviors with more effective ways of conceptualizing the world and interacting in it.

 Recapitulation of the family – evokes memories and feelings of one's family of origin that influence
one's role in a group as well as one's attitudes and interactions with the group members

 Catharsis - is characterized by an expression or experience of emotion that is in some way liberating

or enlightening for the individual.

 Existential factors - involves an awareness of the limitations and inevitabilities inherent in life.

CHILD COUNSELLING
Counselling for children is similar to adult counselling in that both depend strongly on the construction of
a trusting relationship between counsellor and client and allowed them to tell their own story without fear
of judgment or interrogation, in a safe reassuring environment. The aim of counselling for both children
and adults is ultimately the same; to help the individual cope better with their emotions and feelings.

However, counselling for children and young people may differ from counselling for adults, depending
on the child’s age, specific difficulties and their development and different methods. Different methods
may be used to encourage young children to be able to express their difficulties, such as play and art. For
example, reading stories and talking about feelings of a character in that story may help the child to
discuss their own feelings, or drawing/painting/drama may help children to express themselves. These
methods all give the counsellor a great insight into the unconscious mind of the child.

Older children may prefer talking therapy, or a mixture of both, and the counselling approach will depend
on a particular individual. In terms of confidentially the helper must disclose to relevant institution any
information that threatens a child’s life

Techniques for counseling children include: Person Centred Therapy, Play Therapy and Expressive Art
Therapy

Person Centred Therapy is an effective way of encouraging children to express their troubles. It
involves the use of core conditions (empathy, genuineness and unconditional positive regard) and creating
an environment that is safe and trusting for the child to talk.

Play Therapy

Normal play is an essential component of healthy child development and it is said that play is the
language of the child. Play therapy is a form of counselling that uses play to communicate with children,
to prevent or resolve psychosocial challenges. This helps them towards better social integration, and
development.

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Play therapy can also be used as a tool of diagnosis. A play therapist observes a client playing with toys
(play-houses, pets, dolls, etc.) to determine the cause of the disturbed behavior. The objects and patterns
of play, as well as the willingness to interact with the therapist, can be used to understand the underlying
rationale for behavior both inside and outside the session.

Play therapy helps children to work through their interior anxieties. In this way, play therapy can be used
as a self-help mechanism, as long as children are allowed time for free play or unstructured play to
express their emotions and put curbs on their impulsiveness. Play helps children to distinguish between
real and imaginary situations through games.

Expressive Arts Therapy, also known as Creative Arts Therapy involves the use of creative arts such
as dance, drama, music, painting, drawing and poetry as a form of therapy. For example a drawing is
said to a window to a child's soul; revealing a wealth of information about them, illuminating their
personalities, emotions, development, skills, and health. This therapy can be effective at helping children
to discover hidden thoughts and feelings by expressing them through various art forms.

This technique is thought to be especially useful for children who are having difficulty articulating their
emotions, feelings and past experiences verbally. This may be due to abuse, violence or other traumatic
events that they may have trouble processing. Expressive Arts Therapy can also be used in both
individual and group settings to treat problems related to medical illness, bereavement, divorce, criminal
behaviour and other behaviour problems.

Communicating with Children

It is important for caregivers to communicate positively with their children. Listen to them and give them
freedom of expression. Respond to them in a truthful and simple manner. Sometimes parents and
caregivers talk children in negative ways because they are tied, stressed or going through personal crisis.
In order to guide, mentor or rehabilitate children, effective communication line must be open all the
time.

 Do not give children mixed messages; match your oral communication with your body language
and facial expression

 Ensure your communication with children is age appropriate; age factor should be considered in
order to make the child comfortable with the language used.

 Avoid focusing on the negatives; children need to be praised and appreciated when they do
something good.

 Avoid asking too many questions – too many questions makes the child feel intimated and
doubted. Listen attentively and try to ask minimum question.

 Talk to children about feelings and demonstrate them in a safe way; e.g. you sharing positive
ways of managing anger helps them learn how to label and describe their feelings as well as
manage them is a safe way.

 Communicate clearly about undesirable behaviour - Label behaviour that is negative clearly and
explain why that specific behaviour is not acceptable.

 Avoid shouting when reprimanding- Shouting may obscure the messag and create anxiety that
will inhibit learning or rehabilitation.

 Give children choices whenever possible- This assist in the development of self-confidence.
However give guidance on the choices when necessary.

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  Discuss with children what you expect from them - Explain how you feel as a parent or caregiver

 Be consistent – Do not make different rules every day; Introduce new rules only when necessary.

 Be a role model – always let your actions speak louder than words. Children may not do what you
tell them to do but will do what they see you do.

 Hold meetings – between the children, the caregivers or family or members. All should be
encouraged to participate. The meetings should be formalized and proper records kept for follow
up. The meetings are important for planning,problem solving, reconciliation, identity and
belonging, participation and decision making and reinforcing family and institutional values.

When working with children maintain the child rights principles of: Best Interest of the child, non-
discrimination, minimum standards of care and protection - right to life and liberty and the right to
express themselves and be heard.

ADOLESCENT COUNSELLING
Adolescence refers to the period of transition from childhood to adult hood. The age limits are not clearly
defined but it would begin from the age of 12 through to 18. Some children may experience it earlier in
life or later. It is a normal growing up stage, which is characterized by many changes: Physically (body)
changes; emotionally (sexual feelings emerge).

Teenagers struggle with different issues than younger children and adults such as identity struggles,
esteem issues, extreme peer pressure and fitting in. They often feel stuck between wanting independence
and still needing guidance. Teens are more likely than adults to make decisions without considering the
consequences and feel invincible.

Despite all the issues affecting the adolescent, he/she is gradually becoming an adult and the different
experience help to make him into a functional or dysfunctional adult. Adolescents need to be made to feel
good about themselves by being counselled to accept themselves with their strengths and weaknesses, to
set realistic goals and to communicate so they can be helped in time of crisis.

Signs of Emotional disorders for adolescents

 Difficulty with authority

 Feelings of anxiety
 Depression, lack of trust and lack of personal identity
 Out of control behaviour such as dishonestly, temper tantrums, destructive
 Verbally and physically aggressive behaviour
 Sexual confusion; history of sexual and physical abuse
 Impaired interpersonal relationships, social isolation
 School problems (declining grades, truancy, disciplinary problems)
 Evidence of drug and substance abuse; etc.

Techniques for counselling adolescents

Replacing Negative Self-Talk (changing irrational thoughts is a cognitive therapy process

 Many times, teens who struggle with mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety
experience a lot of negative self-talk, which means that the thoughts they have about themselves
are usually negative. Instead of looking at a tough situation as a challenge, they might see things
as hopeless and have a pessimistic outlook on life.

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  One technique you can use when counselling adolescents is helping them change these negative
thoughts to positive ones. Have the teen write down what he is thinking every hour the day before
his counselling session. Go over the list with him, assisting him in changing all the negative
thoughts into positive ones. Brainstorm goals to change unwanted behaviour.

Group Counselling

Another technique many therapists who work with adolescents use is encouraging their clients to try out
group counselling. This method of counselling requires individuals to share their personal experiences
with others who are experiencing similar problems, concerns and issues. The group (ideally not more than
8) meets at regular intervals, and sessions can be facilitated by a qualified counsellor or an appointed
member of the group. By sharing knowledge and understanding in this way individuals form a supportive
network with others, which in turn provides an additional framework of support. Techniques that you can
use as a group counsellor include making the teens realize that they are not alone in their problems and
getting the teens to help each other out. A teenager might not respond to an adult, even if she is a
therapist, when she tries to tell him that drinking until he passes out is dangerous, but he might listen to
one of his peers. Using other teens who have struggled with the same problems can be extremely effective
when working with an adolescent population.

Repeating information through questions

 When working with adolescents, counsellors have to be careful not to push their clients away by
confronting or challenging them over every issue. Instead, you can repeat information that sounds
irrational and unreasonable back to a teen in the form of a question.

 For example, a teen might say, "I don't care that I get teased every day." Instead of saying, "Of course
you care," and pushing the client away, a therapist could respond by asking, "So it doesn't bother you
that your peers make fun of you on a daily basis? How does it make you feel?"

Working with Adolescents

 Listen and Give Support - listen to their words and pay attention to their feelings. Watch their
body language. Encourage teens to express their feelings and reactions.
 Be patient and supportive; assure them that their reactions are understandable, common and
normal. Do not rush their [Link] not tell the teens how they should feel and react; listen and
support them as they share

 Be Understanding/accepting - do not be judgmental; accept them the way they are

 Encourage them to get involved with positive activities with other teens such as music, drama,
dances, walking, games, sports or other expressive media or hobbies
 Be aware and concerned - teens often withdraw from everyone when they are dealing with
difficult reactions. Support them, but monitor their activities. Watch for signs of substance use
and abuse; help them find other ways of coping.
If you do not feel comfortable talking about certain issues, refer the teens to someone who does.
Take care of yourself so you can continue to help teens and be a healthy role model.

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FAMILY COUNSELLING/FAMILY SYSTEMS
Family therapy, also referred to as couple and family therapy, marriage and family therapy, family
systems therapy, and family counseling, is a branch of psychotherapy that works with families and
couples in intimate relationships to nurture change and development. Family counseling is often regarded
as one of the most beneficial options for families going through a rough patch.

In earlier years, many clinicians defined the family in a narrow, traditional manner usually including
parents and children. As the field has evolved, the concept of the family is more commonly defined in
terms of strongly supportive, long-term roles and relationships between people who may or may not be
related by blood or marriage.

The goal of family therapy is that all the members live together in harmony.

Distinctive feature of family therapy

 Therapy interventions usually focus on relationship patterns in the [Link] are generally
more interested in what goes on between individuals rather than within one or more individuals, It
tends to view change in terms of the systems of interaction between family members. It
emphasizes family relationships as an important factor in psychological health.

 Family therapists tend to be more interested in the maintenance and/or solving of problems rather
than in trying to identify a single cause. They may focus on analyzing specific previous conflict
and suggesting alternative ways family members might have responded to one another or proceed
directly to addressing the sources of conflict by pointing out patterns of interaction that the family
might have not noticed.

 The skills of the family therapist thus include the ability to influence conversations in a way that
catalyses the strengths, wisdom, and support of the wider system.

 A family therapist usually meets several members of the family at the same time. This has the
advantage of examining how members perceive mutual relations among themselves. depending
on situations number of sessions could be between 5 and 20 sessions.

Techniques of Family Counseling

Family counseling has become a common sign in recent times. Family counselors are there to help
couples and families who are facing some family issues and problems. Therapists and counselors use
some common counseling techniques to help family members with issues surrounding them.

Genogram: This technique is often used in early family counseling stages. The genogram is a work of
symbols and pictures which depict the whole history of your family. It reveals some of the important
details about the three generations of the family through symbols. Important details like names, dates of
marriage, divorce, death and other important events related to your family members are included in a
genogram. A genogram acts like an informative tool of the family for the therapist.

The Family Floor Plan: This plan has several versions to it. Parents are requested to draw the family tree
and information of several past generations are brought and discussed in this meeting. The simple points
related to family ancestors bring out meaningful facts related to the past.

Reframing: Reframing simply means taking a sentence out of its logical cause and trying to see other
theories related to it. Family guiding counselors use it to understand the basic existing family problems
and offering a different perspective to it. For example, a father's repeated questions on his daughter's

44
friendship with boys can be seen as a concern of a loving father than as a generation gap factor which
feels that an old man cannot understand the new generation.

Communication Building: Problems in any family start when there is less or no effective
communication. Communication patterns and processes are often major reasons that affect family
communication. Counselors use a variety of techniques which focus on effective communication building
among couples and families. They also provide guidance on the proper use of listening skills which
include reflection of feelings, listening and showing compassion to all your fellow members, taking turns
in expression of feelings and also benon-judgmental when your own people are agreeing to their
mistakes.

Family Photos: Seeing photos of family members in different occasions are enough to provide
information on what's the present scenario in the family. Verbal responses to different family photos are
helpful. This technique involves asking a family member to choose a family picture from the album and
discuss the various memories related to that picture.

Empty Chair: The empty chair technique is mostly used by therapists dealing with couples. To explain
the empty chair; let's have a look at an example a partner feels that the empty chair is his/her spouse and
expresses his/her feelings. The partner then changes his/her role and sits on the empty chair and continues
the rest of the conversation enacting the spouse.

Putting the Client in the Center - This technique is widely used by family counselors. It involves
leaving the entire control of the situation in the hands of the individual. The counselor allows the
continuation of a symptom of anxiety or worry and lets the individual talk for a while. Being in the centre
means that the client is given space to talk while other members of the family listen without interrupting.
Others get to know what the other member of the family is feeling. The centre position can be rotated
until all the family members have occupied the centre. As the individual talks, he/she suddenly realizes
the depth of the situation and starts to gain control over his/her fears.

Conclusion:Counselors will determine which of the above techniques one to implement as they realize
the depth of a family crisis. As every family has its own issues, therapists do not restrict themselves to
practice and implement the same set of rules. Therefore a creative judgment call is always appreciated.

LOSS AND GRIEF COUNSELLING

Loss refers toinstance or process oflosing someone or something dear and the suffering that follows.
Examples of loss are losing property, losing one’s freedom, la position, losing a body part or losing life
(death) among other [Link] small or enormous, all losses affect us and make us experience a
degree of sadness associated with grieving.

Bereavement means losing someone through death and involves the process of recovering from the death
of loved one.

Mourning is the expression of grief (e.g. crying). In many cases mourning is associated with death of
loved ones, friends and other people that we know very well; those who matter to [Link] extent of
mourning will differ from one person to the other.

Grief is the feeling of sadness – a reaction to all kinds of losses; not just death. It might be a family
member or a friend. Through the grieving process a person’s sense of who they are changes and adjust to
new ways of life. This takes time.

Grief is associated with feelings of sadness, yearning, regret, and anger,denial, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety,
tension, confusion, isolation and loneliness among others and the process of adapting to a significant loss

45
can vary dramatically from one person to another, depending on his or her background, beliefs,
relationship to what was lost, and other factors.

Some people may experience a sense of meaninglessness, and others can feel a sense of relief. Emotions
are often surprising in their strength or mildness, and they can also be confusing, such as when a person
misses a painful relationship.

Thoughts during grief can vary from “there’s nothing I can do about it” to “it’s my fault, I could have
done more” or from “she had a good life” to “it wasn’t her time.” They can be troubling or soothing, and
people in grief can bounce between different thoughts as they make sense of their loss.

Grieving behaviors run from crying to laughter, and from sharing feelings to engaging silently in
activities like cleaning, writing, or exercising. Some people find comfort in the company of others,
particularly with those who may be similarly affected by the loss, and others may prefer to be alone with
their feelings.

Models of Grief

Psychologists and researchers have outlined various models or phases of grief. Probably the most famous
formulation of the stages of grief was developed by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book "On Death and
Dying" (1969). Dr. Kubler-Ross actually wrote about the stages that dying people tend to go through as
they come to terms with the realization that they will soon be dead. However, her stages have since been
borrowed by the larger grief community as a means of describing the grief process more generally.
Everyone will experience all of these stages, or, if all are experienced, they won't necessarily occur in this
particular order.

Dr. Kubker-Ross identified five stages of grief that most people are now familiar with:

 Denial,Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

The Grief Process Model

Although all of us grieve in our own way, there does appear to be some general patterns of response to
this process.

 The First Stage (Denial): This is usually characterized by feelings of numbness, denial and
disbelief. This is the body’s protection against a shock that the system is not yet able to cope
with. It shuts down sensation and feeling and is entirely [Link] this stage, grieving people are
unable or unwilling to accept that the loss has taken (or will shortly take) place. It can feel as
though they are experiencing a bad dream, that the loss is unreal, and they are waiting to "wake
up" as though from a dream, expecting that things will be normal
 The Second Stage(Anger):After people have passed through denial and accepted that the loss
has occurred (or will they may begin to feel Anger at the loss and the unfairness of it. They may
become angry at the person who has been lost (or is dying). Feelings of abandonment and may
also occur.
 Third Stage (Bargaining): In this stage, people beg their "higher power" to undo the loss, saying
things along the lines of, "I'll change if you bring her (or him) back to me". This phase usually
involves promises of better behavior or significant life change which will be made in exchange
for the reversal of the [Link] begin the painful process of acknowledging the loss; we may yearn
and search consciously and unconsciously for the dead person and feel the pain when they cannot
be found. Sensations of having seen the dead person, felt their presence and/or vivid dreams
often accompany this stage.
 Fourth Stage (Depression): Once it becomes clear that Anger and Bargaining are not going to
reverse the loss, people may then sink into a Depression stage where they confront the
inevitability and reality of the loss and their own helplessness to change it. During this period,
grieving people may cry, experience sleep or eating habit changes, or withdraw from other

46
 relationships and activities while they process the loss they have sustained. People may also
blame themselves for having caused or in some way contributed to their loss, whether or not this
is justified.
 Fifth Stage (Acceptance): Finally (if all goes according to Dr. Kubler-Ross's plan), people enter
a stage of Acceptance where they have processed their initial grief emotions, are able to accept
that the loss has occurred and cannot be undone, and are once again able to plan for their futures
and re-engage in daily life.

One of the problems with a stage model of the process of grieving is that it sets up an expectation of a
neat journey from stage to stage. There is no right or wrong way to experience grief, though some
thoughts and behaviors after a loss can be more helpful or safe than others.

Coping with loss is a ultimately a deeply personal and singular experience — nobody can help you go
through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through. But others can be there
for you and help comfort you through this process. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel
the grief as it comes over you. Resisting it only will prolong the natural process of healing.

Therapy for Grief

When a person’s grief-related thoughts, behaviors, or feelings are extremely distressing a qualified mental
health professional may be able to help. Therapy is an effective way to learn to cope with the stressors
associated with the loss and to manage symptoms with techniques such as relaxation or meditation.

Each experience of grief is unique, complex, and personal, and therapists will tailor treatment to meet the
specific needs of each person.

For example, a therapist might help the bereaved find different ways to maintain healthy connections with
the deceased

 through memory,
 reflection,
 ritual,
 or dialogue about the deceased and with the deceased.

In addition to individual therapy, group therapy can be helpful for those who find solace in the reciprocal
sharing of thoughts and feelings, and recovery results are often rapid in this setting. Similarly, family
therapy may be suitable for a family whose members are struggling to adapt to the loss of a family
member.

PSYCHOSOCIAL ISSUES IN COUNSELLING

There are many problems in the society that may be addressed through counseling. These

may include the following:

 Loss and grief

 Alcohol and drug abuse
 Conflict (with self and others)
 Violence (physical, sexual, emotional, , domestic gender)
 Relationships
 Family Issues
 Adolescent issues
 Loss and grief
 Crime

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  Ethnicity
 Inequalities
 Human Developmental Issues
 Careers
 Workplace related issues
 Religious issues
 Education
 All health related issues including HIV and Sexual Reproductive matters
 Sex and Sexuality

Trauma Counselling

Trauma is a Greek word meaning Wound. Trauma is defined as emotional (psychological)shock

producing a lasting harmful effect. After the extraordinary catastrophic incident such as an accident,
carjacking, terrorism or violence like that seen after elections memories of such events cause
psychological state of discomfort and stress which shatter people’s coping mechanism. People
experience trauma because the event is disturbing to them, resulting in feelings of conflict within the self
(one’s self) which may not be easily verbalized.

Trauma is a process that manifests in emotional, physical and behaviour symptoms.

 People who have experienced trauma are always tense.

 Loud noise can make them jump
 They are frightened most of the time expecting another bad incident to happen
 They may suffer sleep disorder and others may have nightmares
 They may experience fast or irregular heart beat or difficulty in breathing.
 They may feel dizzy or faint.
 Some show lots of anger, rage and hate
 Some may feel guilty, sad and depressed
 Some may lose concentration
 Some may feel numb, others may be in denial avoiding reality
 Others may resort to alcohol and drug abuse
 They may have psychosomatic symptoms (headaches, stomach aches, rashes
 Some may engage in sexual promiscuity
 They may be irritable, restless, anxious
 Some may lose interest in life and have suicidal thought
 Some may become aggressive (women may take it out on their children)
 Others may be withdrawn and subdued. Some may feel helpless.

All these reactions are normal in people who have experienced an abnormal [Link] reactions may
happen immediately or may be delayed and start happening a long time after the event.

Trauma Counselling

An important part of trauma counselling is getting people to tell their story, to express the pain and grief
they feel, their concerns about the future. There is a need for others to listen and understand them.
However, a person may not feel free to disclose to workmates, or family members for various reasons. A
counselor has the skills to handle sensitive material which might otherwise have been viewed by others
judgmentally. It is suggested that everyone involved in crises, should attend trauma counseling where
such services are available: The most effect approach is to help a person re-frame and recall such
memories within a therapeutic relationship.

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If people pretend that their emotional wounds are healed, when in fact they are in pain they will have
more problems. Feelings, thoughts and wishes, if not otherwise verbalizes might lead to any or several of
the effects already mentioned above. They must be treated sensitively and with care.

Practice of Debriefing

The process of healing in the case of trauma requires early intervention known as [Link] this
should take place within 48 hours of the incident followed by subsequent professional trauma support
counselling with a professional counsellor.

Debriefing is an early brief and focused psychotherapeutic intervention that helps to reduce stress in
people who have experienced trauma.

Debriefing works on the principle that people are not moved by things but the views which they attach to
them. An important part of debriefing is to have clients share the trauma they have experienced. They are
encouraged to share freely without having to justify themselves or accusing others. In a group of people
who have suffered a similar experience, this brings healing and bonds the group together in a special way.

There are many models of Debriefing, but the most common one is known as the Mitchell’s model
popularly used around the world.

It is represented in seven stages that begin with

 Initial stage (introduction),

 Fact phase,
 Thought phase,
 Reaction phase,
 Symptom phase,
 Teaching phase
 Re-entry stage (closing phase).

1) Initial stage

This part will cover an introduction where the staff members will introduce themselves to their fellow
members from the various departments. A discussion on confidentiality, explanation on the purpose of
the debriefing session and review on the guidelines for the session will follow. The groups will be
divided into two mainly: - Mostly traumatized and the less traumatized.

2) Fact stage

This is a review of the post-election violence incident. These could be

 A person I saw being killed

 Houses I saw being torched
 Incident that caused fear

3) Thought stage

This phase will cover a review of the thoughts each person had at the time of the incident and in the time
since the incident. For example:

 The thoughts of revenging to a certain group of people

 Thoughts of helplessness
 Relocation thoughts

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4) Reaction stage

This is a review of the reactions each person had at the time of the incident and in the time since the
incident. For example:

1. Getting involved with a certain group

2. Developing hatred towards certain people

5) Symptoms stage

This phase will be used to examine the physical and the psychological effects of the post-election
violence on the staff members. Topics to be covered include:

 Withdrawal
 Depression
 Fear
 Beatings experienced
 Threats

6) Teaching phase

This session will be used to remind the staff that all the symptoms experienced are normal responses to
the unexpected post-election violence.

7) Re-entry phase

This session is the wrap up time, time for the facilitators to ask and answer questions and also develop a
plan for future action.

Debriefing helps people to:

 Get opportunity to share meaningful material about self and disclose painful process
 Are allowed to report simple information about self and others
 Make contact with others
 Talk about their pain.
 Gain an honest understanding of what happened and how it has affected them.
 Accept what has happened.
 Make sense of their experience and restore their self-confidence.
 Go through the process of reflecting upon their experience and explore it from their own point of
view.
 Have someone to talk to who cares to listen.

CHILD’S RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

Who is a child?

A child is any person under the age of eighteen years. This is according to the Children’s Act 2001. This
means that regardless of any other condition, provided that one has not reached the age of eighteen, then
that person is a child.

Categories of Children’s Rights

Survival Rights:

 The right to a name and nationality

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  The right to grow peacefully in a caring and secure environment
 The right to the basic necessities of life; e.g. food, shelter, clothing and education
 The right to parental care.

Protection Rights:

 The right to have one’s health protected through immunization and appropriate health care
 The right to protection from abuse and exploitation
 The right to be treated fairly and humanely
 The right not to be employed/ engaged in activities that harm one’s health, education, mental,
physical and functional development

Developmental Rights:

 The right to a basic education

 The right to leisure and to socialize in an environment that is not morally harmful

Participation Rights:

 The right to express one’s opinion

 The right to be listened to
 The right to be consulted according to one’s understanding

Penalties

A person found guilty of violating a child’s right can be imprisoned for a period not exceeding twelve
months or be fined an amount not exceeding fifty thousand shillings or be both fined and imprisoned.
These penalties are meant to discourage people from violating the rights of children and punish those who
violate them.

Responsibilities of Children
 Work for the cohesion of the family or do things that ensure unity in the family
 Respect her/his parents, superiors and elders at all times and assist them in case of need;
 Serve the national community by placing abilities at its service or be involved in communal
activities;
 Preserve and strengthen social and national unity;
 Preserve the positive cultural values in the community in her or his relations with other members
of the community.

WOMEN’S RIGHTS
Women rights are entitlements and freedoms claimed for women and girls of all ages in many societies.
In some places these rights are institutionalized or supported by law, local custom and behaviour whereas
in others they may be ignored or suppressed. Women’s rights differ from broader notions of human rights
through claims of historical and traditional bias against the exercise of rights by women and girls in
favour of men and boys. It is important to note that women’s rights are human rights.

Issues commonly associated with notions of women’s’ rights include but not limited to:

 Right bodily integrity and autonomy

 To vote (universal suffrage)
 To hold public office

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  To work
 To fair wages or equal pay
 To own property
 To education
 To serve in the military or be conscripted
 To enter into legal contracts
 To have marital, parental and religious rights.

The reason that we emphasize “women’s rights” within human rights goes beyond history. Traditionally,
women have not enjoyed equal access to basic human rights, protections, resources, and services.
Unfortunately, gender inequality is still present in every society and remains as a huge barrier for the
world.

Unequal situations for women vary significantly by region, country, culture, society, community and etc.
Also, there are various conditions and places where women are disadvantaged. The origin of the
discrimination is sometimes religion, beliefs, cultural traditions or political interests. These excuses in
some occasions encourage the unequal and discriminatory treatment of women, thus creating oppressed
communities. Moreover, women’s categorization according to their race, sexual orientation, disabilities,
economic status and some other factors triggers more and more discriminative actions in societies.

There are also two terms which explain different types of discrimination and give us courage to further
push for women’s rights. First, sexism is a form of discrimination and stereotyping that oppresses women.
Second, patriarchy is a system where males are dominant. It is so common in many societies and also
within families. Consequently, some violence against women is seen mostly in these types of
communities and families.

Recent acts of violence pertaining to women’s rights are: violence within family, rape, sexual abuse,
torture, etc. all associated with gender based violence.

CHILD ABUSE AND INTERVENTION

6.0. Introduction
A child is any person below the age of eighteen years. Child abuse and neglect involves the maltreatment
of children by either hurting them (abuse) or by purposely failing to provide for their needs (neglect) thus
depriving them of their rights. There are many cases of child abuse in our society. Unfortunately many
are not reported as the child is not able to disclose the offence and also because the children have been
threatened and are afraid. As caregivers, we need to be aware of this so that we can intensify efforts in
bringing to book child perpetrators.

6.1. Forms of Child abuse

 Physical abuse: This includes caning, battering, pinching, slapping, punching, biting, kicking,
scalding, confinement, chaining, overworking, and violently shaking a child. Burning a child e.g. with
hot water, cigarette butts, or with hot objects,

Physical abuse is usually carried out in the name of discipline or punishment.

It is important to note that discipline means “teaching, instruction or tutoring.” Yet many people think
of discipline only as punishment. Disciplining a child means not punishing a child for stepping out of
line, but teaching him the way he/she should go. Signs of physical abuse include bed-wettings,
general fear of adults, absence from school, and fear of returning from home, deterioration in work
performance, aggression, resentment and violent behaviour of the child.

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 Sexual Abuse/defilement:This refers to any sexual activity between a child and an older person.
Abuse involves either explicit force or coercion. In any case, consent cannot be given by the victim
because of his or her young age.

While small children and infants are victims of sexual abuse/ defilement, the most common age
seems to be pre-adolescence. Majority of offenders are adults who children rely on to protect them.
In some cases the abuse has been carried on for a long period of time involving more than one child
in the family or may be involving more than one offender.

 Emotional abuse: Emotional abuse is psychological in nature and has an adverse effect on the
behaviour, perceptions or emotional development of a child. Signs of emotional abuse include
insecurity, desperate for attention, withdrawal from friends, compulsive eating, suicidal attempts,
poor school performance, alcohol and substance abuse.

 Neglect: Neglect could be defined as the failure of a parent or other person charged with
responsibility over a child to provide him/her with the basic necessities of life e.g. food, shelter,
clothing, medical care, and education etc., such that the child’s physical, mental psychological,
intellectual development is put at risk.

Neglect is not only for physical/material things. It may also happen where a child is denied love and
emotional support, which can be shared by spending some time with the child; talking or playing.
Possible signs of neglect include dirty skin, lice infection, malnourishment and underweight, poor
social relationship and constant tiredness of the child.

 Bullying: The use of force i.e. physical strength, authority or power to frighten or injure others. It
may include hitting, taking a person’s things and name-calling. Bullying may be done by an adult or a
child or young person and frequently occurs in homes and schools. Children who are bullied live in a
constant state of fear and anxiety. In school, it may affect the child’s performance and deny him/her a
chance to mingle freely with his/her peers.

 Abduction: to take away a child without the permission of the parent or the guardian.
 Abandonment: this is the desertion and withdrawal of any form of support to a child. Such children
are left without food, shelter, clothing and love. They therefore lack proper development and also
emotional abuse.
 Cultural abuse – include:
 Female Genital Mutilation
 Early marriages
 Taboos e.g. to do with food, division of labour
 Gender bias (usually in favour of boys and against girls)
 Customary and religious rituals (sacrificial killings)
 Infanticide
 Stigmatization e.g. of AIDS orphans, disabled children or unwanted babies.

 Child Labour: Child Labour is the engagement of persons below the age of 18 in the labour force to
supplement family income, support self, defend motherland or fight an enemy. Child labour has an
effect on the development of the child.

6.2. Consequences of child abuse

 Death
 Recurrence of abuse
 Trauma

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  Refusal of child to go to school for example after FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) a girl may
see herself as a grown woman, ready to be married.
 Complications during childbirth for under-age married girls
 Stunted growth
 Lost opportunities in life
 Physical injuries, illnesses or diseases associated with the jobs done
 Poor performance in schools
 Poor social relations
 Psychological or behavioural disorders
 Deviant behaviour
 Lack of confidence and low self esteem
 Criminality as abused becomes abusers, etc.
 Headaches, ulcers, bedwetting, sleep disorders, abdominal pain
 Thumb-sucking, excessive clinginess
 Speech impediments
 Worry and uncertainty about their future
 Disinterestedness in their future, goals, or having no self-control.

6.3. How to respond to abuse

 Report immediately to the area children’s officer, police station, or organizations dealing
with children’s rights

 Give medical treatment

 Preserve evidence for legal action
 Provide counselling
 Remove child from harmful environment and take them to a safe plce especially children homes
(if possible)
 Follow-up cases referred to other organizations for help or appropriate action.

6.4. Some Guiding Principles in Child Counselling

 Establish a safe environment. This refers to a sense of trust and cooperation between the child and
counsellor so that together they can examine painful issues. Develop a sense of trust, safety in the
counselling setting; a component of a working alliance and cooperation
 Respect the individuality and uniqueness of each child. Understand the child’s perception of the
abuse. Let them be aware of what has happened and the impact
 Know that the child is full of interests and curiosity, is continuously searching to discover and
self express him/herself.
 Know that the child is growing and unfolding his/her talents as he/she develops. Be sensitive to
the child’s life experiences. Show sensitivity in handling of disclosure of diagnosis. Secrecy
brings in dilemma for the child. Remember children want to remain loyal. If there is a lot of fear
and/or pain, give reassurance.
 Know the characteristics of children in general and individual child in particular. Learn to tolerate
delays and frustration. Let the child know that you are having a positive alliance with the
caregiver or parent to give him/her a sense of safety.
 Involve the child in problem solving. The counsellor’s role is to create the environment and the
opportunity for individual growth and structure the session.

6.5. Helping Children Cope with Trauma

 Listen to children, but don’t force them to share; let it come naturally. It is important after a
trauma to talk about the event- often. While it may be difficult or tiresome for you to hear the

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 same story repeatedly, talking is a crucial part of recovery. Be supportive and sympathetic, but
avoid overreacting. Don’t try to make it okay; let the child express fears, thoughts and worries.
 Ask what they know about the event and find out what their perceptions are. Don’t jump to
conclusions
 Reassure children that their feelings are normal. Do not try to change those feelings or say they
should not feel that way. Let them know that you will not judge, tease or make fun of what they
tell you.
 Allow children to express feelings and share yours with them if and when appropriate. Address
the irrationality and suddenness of the event or disaster. Children and adults need their feelings
validated. It may be useful to heave children paint, draw or write about the event.
 Reassure children that they are safe and loved, and that people are doing everything possible to
help.
 Be honest and provide accurate facts about the event. Children want as much factual information
as possible and should be allowed to discuss their perception of what happened in order to begin
to master the trauma or to reassert control over their environment.
 Keep all promises you make to a child during the crisis. In other words, do not make promises
you cannot keep. It is important that a child can count on you when all else is in chaos.
 Death in a child’s life is inevitable and means different things to children at different ages. Young
children (ages 1-5) grieves for the threat to their security; children 6 years of age and older grieve
more than the actual loss.
 Allow them privacy (both in physical space and to deal with their feelings) if they need it.
Connect the child and family to support groups, resources, child trauma specialists or other
helpful community resources who can provide information.
 Assure the child that the events are not their fault.
 Talk in hopeful terms about the future. This can help a child rebuild trust and faith in his own
future and the world.

6.6. Characteristic of children

Children are generally:

 Active and quick

 Curious and inquisitive
 Flexible
 Frank
 Open-minded
 Quick to make friends
 Trusting and trustworthy

6.7. The language of children

To communicate to children you must be able to speak and understand their language. Children speak 3
languages:

 The language of the body

 The language of play
 Spoken language

Along with these languages, there are four indirect methods that can help children express their feelings:

 Drawing
 Story-telling
 Drama
 Play.

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6.8. Child Protection

Role of society in child protection

The society which is a combination of all the groups formed and other institutions such as the
government, corporate companies, industries e.t.c have the following role to play in child protection.

• The society should ensure that victims have a safe place to turn to incases of being abused in the
societal settings they live in. Such is through the increase in the number of organizations offering
such services.
• The society should foam community partnerships. Such partnerships are important in different
ways. With partnership, resource mobilization becomes easier due to the wide coverage of your
planned interventions, something that donors would prefer to fund. With partnerships, influencing
policy is easily achieved due to the numbers involved.
• The society should seek corporate support through writing of proposal to fund their activities.
This has been made possible with the introduction of the Corporate Social Responsibility Act in
Kenya (CSR). Organizations should send proposals especially to corporate working in their
geographical area of operation.
• Children should be involved in activities geared towards fighting for their rights. They should be
involved in charity walk, awareness campaigns and any other activities that teach these children
of their rights and how to get help if they feel they are being violated.
• Ban and prevent cultural practices that promote child abuse and gender based violence. This calls
on individuals in the society to safeguard their families as the fist step.
• The society should gear itself towards the increase in the capacity of the personnel dealing with
issues on child abuse and GBV. This is through attending trainings, seminars and sharing of best
practices. This increases the information base of different organizations in addressing issues of
abuse and GBV.
• The society in general should singly or jointly fundraise for programs, projects and activities
geared towards promoting a safe society for children.
• The society to form a good referral, follow-up and networking system. These help to give a
comprehensive approach towards the management of child abuse and GBV.
• The society should create campaigns that target grass root communities with reference to public
health, effects of child abuse and GBV if not attended to, establishment of red spots in the
community to alert the unsuspecting masses of possibilities of being victims if found in that area.
• Donors should call and fund proposals that have activities geared towards the prevention and
protection of children in the society against all forms of violence.
• The society has to utilize the media in all occasions so as to appreciate the range and speed of
passing information the media has. They can appreciate media through highlighting cases of child
abuse, consequences perpetrators face, medical and psychosocial complications survivors face if
they don’t seek help, inform the public of where, when and how to get help in cases of child
abuse and GBV.

GENDER BASED VIOLENCE

4.0. Introduction

Gender Based Violence (GBV) is a concern in Kenya today. It is violence visited on an individual adult
or child by virtue of their gender. Although men are increasingly being violated, the majority of the
sufferers are women and children.

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Types of gender based violence are physical, emotional, domestic and sexual. Sexual violence includes
incest, rape, sodomy, defilement, assault, homosexuality, lesbianism and bestiality.

4.1. Domestic Violence

Many consider domestic violence to be simply a man beating up his wife, or wife-battering; but it is not
that simple. The best definition of domestic violence is a purposeful pattern of assault and coercive
behaviours that adults or adolescents use against their intimate partner causing physical, economic, or
psychological harm. Most domestic violence is gender violence, which means it is violence by men
directed at women or girls, due to the fact that they are female. Though males can be victims as well most
of the abusers are male and the victims female. This is the most common scenario that a counsellor will
encounter.

4.1.1 Myths about domestic violence

The myths about domestic violence are dangerous not only because they encourage social acceptance and
apathy towards the problem, but also because many women believe them which leads them to justify,
minimize or deny the violence they are experiencing. This prevents the vital step of acknowledging that
they are in a dangerous and violent situation, which is an essential step towards seeking help. Therefore, it
is essential to dispel these myths both in the community at large and with individual clients.

The following are some of the most common myths about domestic violence.

a) “It is just the odd domestic tiff. All couples have them.”

It is true that all couples have disagreements at some point in their relationship. However, a relationship
that involves violence amounts to more than a disagreement and is based on an imbalance of power and
control. A relationship that is healthy, which includes the occasional verbal disagreement, is based on
respect, trust, support and love for the other.

Domestic violence involves constant or cyclic physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and financial
abuse. There is no room for any such abuse in a healthy relationship. It is harmful and dangerous. In
Kenya and other countries worldwide many women than me are killed by their partners every year

b). “It can’t be that bad or she would leave.”

There are many, many reasons why a woman stays with her abuser. In Kenya many women do not leave
their abusers because there are no support services that are in place as in most western countries.

c). “Domestic violence only happens in poor families”

Although it is argued that poverty exacerbates domestic violence, in the sense that a woman’s options of
other financial and practical support are very limited or non-existent, and that financial problems can
place strain on a relationship, those involved in it and a family, it is not true that it is a problem specific to
poorer families. Domestic violence cuts across all boundaries: economic social, ethnic, cultural, religious
and professional. Many women who have careers are abused and caught up in the same cycle of abuse as
women who work at home. Factors of dependency and opportunity may differ but the psychological
effect of abuse is the same.

d). “Abusers must come from violent backgrounds.”

Whilst there is a recognized pattern of abusers and abused continuing to abuse and be abused in their
adult lives, it is not always the case. Many abusers do not come from violent backgrounds, and many
families in which violence occurs do not produce violent men. The family is not the only formative

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influence on behaviour. Furthermore, this statement is dangerous because it can be used as an excuse for
the abuser’s behaviour, both by the abuser and the abused. The abused may be more likely to accept her
abuser’s behaviour because she can rationalize it in this way, which in turn may lead to self-blame. This
attitude also encourages the abuser to rationalize his behaviour, prevents him from accepting
responsibility for it and from seeking help to change it. Ultimately, adults are responsible for their own
actions and have a choice in how they behave.

e). “All abusers are alcoholics or drug addicts, it’s the drug that causes the violence.”

Because several studies have linked alcohol/drug abuse to violence, alcohol or drug abuse is often
mistakenly perceived as a cause of violence. An abuser may say that he lost control or didn’t know what
he was doing because of his alcoholism or drug abuse, but he is, nevertheless responsible for his actions.
The drug may reduce the abuser’s inhibitions, but his actions are his own, not the drug’s. While substance
abuse is related to violent behaviour, successful treatment of that problem will not necessarily put an end
to the violence. The abuser uses alcohol or drugs as one more excuse or justification for his actions, one
more way to avoid taking responsibility for his own actions.

e). “She must ask for it/ deserves it/ provokes it.”

This attitude unfairly shifts the responsibility of abuse from the abuser to the abused. Many women

who are abused over a prolonged period of time start to rationalize the abuse, this includes feeling she is
to blame for it. Furthermore, if her abuser constantly tells her that she provoked the abuse, if social
opinion accepts this excuse, and if he will not accept responsibility for his actions, then she is likely to
accept blame. Usually the battered wife will actually make extraordinary efforts to pacify their husbands.
The abuser uses their abuse as a way to release tension and assume control; it is not a rational act.

g) “Barterers are just violent people, they’re like that with everyone.”

Often the barterer is capable of being a delightful friend to others. He may have what is called a Jekyll
and Hyde personality—meaning someone who is nice during the day or on the exterior, and nasty and
vicious at night, or inside his home. This is why friends of the family may find the stories of his violence
unbelievable, and why they wife may deny the seriousness or the presence of the abuse as well. The truth
is that the barterer chooses brutality as a way to dominate his spouse.

h). “Women do not object to being mistreated.”

This idea stems from not understanding the helpless situation of a woman who has nowhere to run.

The battered wife may have friends who will take her in for a week or two, but what will she do after
that? Finding a job and paying rent while caring for children are daunting prospects. Some women may
even have tried to leave but were hunted down and taken back, either by force or by charm.

i). “Rape is just sex. It’s not that big a deal.”

When dealing specifically with sexual violence, it is important to remember that men do not rape

women because they cannot find a willing sex partner, or because of a need for sex, they are using sex as
a weapon. It is a big deal (See a letter written by a survivor of rape; the letter provides a glimpse of how
terrible rape is and what makes it different from sex).

4.1.2 CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

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They are many but these notes will limit them to gender roles, dependency, education and family size

Gender Roles

While there are many other factors involved, gender roles and inequality seems to be one major cause of
domestic violence. In general, there is a lot of sexism and sexual inequality in developing countries and
Kenya is no exception. In many relationships the man earns money and the women does housework and
raises children. Although nowadays many women go to work at various capacities, there are still many
restrictions to what type of work women do because gender still defines what job and position a person is
capable of; as is evident by fewer women than men in managerial or political positions.

Financial dependency

Violence is also fuelled by factors of financial dependency. Financial dependency gives men power and
control over the women. If women were less dependent on men financially it would be possible to leave
their abuser, but often with no property that is solely in their name, no experience of financial
independence and no income, to leave the home would mean a decline in living standards, to the point of
near poverty, both for the women and their children. Further there are few shelters for victims of domestic
violence in the entire country and they cannot house all the women and children who seek their facilities.

Further alcohol and drug addiction is a prevalent problem in society and causes many men to withhold
financial support from their partners and families. In the case of domestic violence it is common for the
man to control and sometimes deny his partner money. This is a recognized form of domestic violence
(economic or financial abuse).

Inadequate education and vocational skills

Women's financial dependency mainly stems from a lack of educational and vocational skills and this
fuels violence. Many parents still prefer to educate boys rather than girls. Once a girl leaves school she
is more likely to become pregnant and focus on married life, rather than learn job skills. If a woman were
adequately educated she would be able to find employment more easily and therefore likely to be able to
provide for herself if she needed to leave an abusive partner. As it is, most women must turn to their
families - parents, sisters, brothers - to provide financial support, and if their families are unable to assist,
or do not approve of her decision to leave and are not supportive, they must continue to live with the
abuser.

Family Size/Planning

Family planning facilities are not easily accessible to women in rural villages. Men do not like using
condoms with their wives and some women do not like using pills yet they are uneducated on the natural
methods, i.e. the rhythm method. This means women are burdened all their lives with child rearing.
Further, some women hope that getting pregnant will encourage the father to stay with her. If she is
pregnant with his child she might believe that he is less likely to completely abandon her, which
unfortunately is not always the case. Inability to negotiate safe sex leads to more pregnancies and women
being exposed to sexually transmitted infections and HIV and AIDS. This leads to more violence against
the women.

FORMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic violence is rarely a one-time event and usually escalates in frequency and severity. It is

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important to remember that domestic violence is not just physical, but can take many forms. The five
main forms of domestic violence are:

a) Physical

 Punching; slapping; hitting; throwing objects; biting; pinching; kicking; pulling hair out;
 Pushing; shoving; burning; strangling; beating - often leading to injuries or death
 Raping
 Denying food, warmth or sleep
 Keeping someone locked up or out of the house
 Refusing to help someone when they are sick, injured or pregnant
 Holding a person to keep them from leaving
 Abandoning someone in a dangerous place.

b) Emotional

 Putting a person down: calling them ugly, stupid, fat, worthless, etc.
 Constant criticism, mocking, shouting
 Being excessively jealous
 Frequently accusing a person of flirting when they are not
 Controlling what a person wears
 Not listening or responding when someone is talking
 Refusing to accept a person’s decisions, saying they have no choice in any decisions
 Lying to friends and relatives about someone
 Humiliating a person in public.

c) Psychological

 Isolation: from friends and relatives; monitoring or blocking a person’s telephone calls or
 disconnecting the telephone; telling someone where they can and cannot go; making someone a
prisoner in their own home
 Harassment: following a person; checking up on them; opening their mail
 Threats: making angry gestures; using physical size to intimidate; wielding a knife or gun;
threatening to kill or harm someone, their children, their friends and family, or himself

 Punishing or depriving the children when he is angry with their mother

 Abusing the pets to hurt someone or their children
 Denial: Saying the abuse doesn’t happen; saying the abused caused the abusive behavior;
 Being publicly gentle and patient or charming, but privately violent and abusive; crying and
begging forgiveness; saying it will never happen again
 Manipulating a person with lies and contradictions.

d) Financial/Economic

 Keeping a person from working

 Controlling someone’s money or the household/family money
 Withholding money
 Spending money on himself (often on alcohol or drugs) or/and on other women.

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e) Sexual violence (this is explained below in detail and also in the appendix)

SEXUAL VIOLENCE
Sexual violence is defined as any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual comments or
advances or acts to traffic or otherwise directed against a person’s sexuality using coercion by any person
regardless of their relationship to the victim in any setting including but not limited to home and work.

4.2.1. Forms of sexual violence

These include rape, sexual assault, exploitation of prostitution, trafficking for sexual exploitation, sexual
harassment, sexual exposure, child sexual abuse (refer to copy of Sexual Offences Act 2006 provided
with this notes).

4.2.2. Rape

Rape is when a person forces themselves sexually on another person without their consent. Most often, it
is a man forcing himself on a woman or girl, but it can also happen to a boy or man. Rape can be an act of
lust or incest. It can also be an act of violence. Rape may be committed by a family member, a trusted
friend, or a total stranger. Incest is rape by family members. There are three main categories of rape:

Power Rape: The rapist uses enough physical force to subdue the victim. He uses each assault to prove
that he is powerful and competent and to give him a sense of self-worth by deluding himself into thinking
that the woman “wanted it” (most common form).

Anger Rape: The rapist brutally beats and degrades his victim. He uses each assault to express his rage
against women; usually these rapes are of women he knows. The pleasure he derives is not from the sex
but from hurting and humiliating his victims.

Sadistic Rape: The violence becomes eroticized. The victim is stalked and tortured (least common,
usually carried out by mentally ill men).

Understanding the effects of rape

Rape is one of the most painful experiences a woman can go through. It leaves deep wounds in her heart
which last for a long time. Because women feel shamed by rape, the wounds it causes are often kept very
secret. No one else ever knows what happened. Just because a woman does not talk about being raped
does not mean it hasn’t happened to her.

How does rape affect a woman?

 She will feel a deep sense of shame. She may feel covered with dirt she cannot remove.
 She may feel ruined, that she no longer has any value. If she is not married, she may feel that no
one will ever want to marry her. She may be very sad to the point of wanting to die.
 She may be angry at all men. She may be angry at God for letting it happen. This anger maybe let
out on anyone who is around her.
 She may feel guilt and think God is punishing her. She may ask, “What did I do to cause this to
happen to me?” others may reinforce this feeling by accusing her of being responsible for the
rape.
 She may be afraid to tell anyone. If they knew, they might accuse her of lying or blame her for
what happened. Her husband or suitor might reject her, and the community may look down on
her.

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  She may no longer be able to enjoy sexual relations, and even become frigid (stiff with fear about
sex). Or she may begin having sex with lots of men, because she feels that she is ruined and
worthless.
 She may have injured sexual organs or other internal organs. As a woman struggles against the
rapist, she may break bones or get other injuries. She could get HIV or other sexually transmitted
diseases, or become pregnant. She might want to abort the baby. These things could lead to
sterility or death.
 She may think demons have possessed her.

How does rape affect the woman’s marriage and family?

 If the rape was done by a stranger, the family and community may be compassionate towards the
woman.
 If they witnessed the rape, they may feel as violated as the woman herself.
 If the woman does not tell her family, they will not be able to understand why she is sad and
angry. Her husband may not understand why having sex is so difficult for her now.
 If she tells her family about it, and the rape was done by someone they know, they might not want
to admit that the father/uncle/brother/pastor has committed the offence
 They may be afraid to accuse the rapist, especially if he is a respected member of the family or
community.
 To keep the peace, they may deny that it happened and tell the woman she’s lying. Or, if they
believe that it happened, they might blame the woman for flirting with the rapist, and they may
punish her.
 In any case, rape will cause serious problems in the woman’s marriage and family.
 The woman’s husband is especially affected by the rape. He may feel his wife is now polluted,
and he may no longer want to be with her. When this happens, it adds to her feelings of shame
and isolation.

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

Child sexual abuse includes:

• Defilement and attempted defilement

• Child trafficking
• Child prostitution
• child pornography
• Child sex tourism
• Indecent act with child
(For more details refer to the Sexual Offences Act)

THE CYCLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Understanding the cyclic nature of an abusive relationship is helpful to understanding how someone can
become caught up in a potentially never ending life of violence. Essentially, abusive relationships involve
a build up of tension between two people, a violent explosion that releases the tension and things, and a
temporary return to peaceful interaction. This cycle will continue and violence will become more frequent
as the relationship progresses, unless the abuser makes changes to his behaviour (which is unlikely to
happen without professional help). The lengths of the cycle and of the three phases will vary from couple
to couple

The following is a more detailed description of the phases of an abusive relationship.

Phase One; Tension Building

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  The abuser becomes increasing irritable, frustrated and unable to cope with everyday stresses. He
is verbally abusive and there are some “minor” violent incidents.
 The victim attempts to stay out of the abuser’s way and do whatever she can to keep him calm -
this is often referred to as walking on eggshells. She assumes responsibility for his anger and
denies that the incidents get progressively worse.

Phase Two; Explosion/ Serious violence

 The tension culminates into serious violence - this can be one incident or several.
 While the woman may be able to recall the battering incident in detail, the man cannot.
 It is unknown why the batterer stops the battering; he seems to know how to prolong the battering
without killing his target.
 In some relationships the woman is able to tell when the violence is likely to occur and can leave
if she has a safe place to go.
 The abuser feels a release of stress after he has been violent. This feeling becomes addictive and
causes him to repeat the cycle when he is next under a lot of stress.

Phase Three; Honeymoon period

 Some men are resourceful, loving and kind. He is usually afraid that his partner will leave him
and so tries to convince her and himself that he will change.
 The man plays dependent and falls apart without her, and she feels responsible for her
victimization. The woman finds it difficult to leave at this point because she wants to believe him
and because this period of the cycle reminds her of the good times that they used to have, and can
still have.

 In some cultures women feel that violence from their partner shows that he loves her; this
honeymoon phase could help explain why.

The following diagram shows how violence can be repeated over and over again; e.g.

A rage-a-holic husband may show signs that he's sorry for his latest tirade as a remorseful
victim, then suddenly switch to a threatening, angry, blaming persecutor, then slip quickly into
the role of rescuer by acting "too good to be true" and promising everything is going to be
different this time -- just before becoming the unappreciated victim again and starting the whole
cycle over.

Below is a diagram of how this pattern fits into the Drama Triangle:

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The circle around the triangle represents the "full circle" that the rage-a-holic goes through on one cycle.
One thing the pattern above cannot represent is that the violence progressively worsens each time
around.

The wavy line beneath the triangle represents the ongoing, predictable nature of violence in a relationship
where this is the issue:

 1. Represents the Remorseful Victim mentioned in the scenario above the diagram.
 2. Is a build-up of tension in the rage-a-holic
 3. Is the acting out of the verbal, emotional, and eventually even physical acting-out of the
Angry, Blaming Persecutorrole.
 4. Then in the "too good to be true" phase the rage-a-holic becomes the Rescuer who is promises
to make up for the transgression and never let it happen again.
 1. Now back to the "Unappreciated Victim" who is listening to self-talk that causes a build-up
of tension and another trip around the cycle.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE ABUSER

The following are some general characteristics of abusers:

 Anger, suspicion, moodiness, tension, resentment, hypersensitivity

 Helplessness, fear, inadequacy, insecurity
 Low self-esteem, loser mentality
 Exaggerated jealousy
 Inability to cope with being alone
 Projects blame and responsibility for his actions on partner and others, refuses accountability,
downplays the seriousness of his own violence
 Drug or alcohol abuse (note: this does not cause violence, it only exacerbates it, see myth No. 5).
 Believes in traditional gender roles and sex stereotypes
 Extremely controlling and possessive, often manufactures power struggles to prove virility
 Unable to handle stress
 Often charming and endearing to manipulate others
 Frequently uses sex as an act of aggression and to enhance self-esteem, believes in legitimized
rape

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  Feels victimized by partner and society, does not believe his violent acts should incur negative
consequences for him
 Pushes for quick escalation of the relationship
 Unrealistically demanding (“If you love me...”)
 Aims to be the centre of the partner’s world by isolating them from others and badgering them
into letting go of the family and friends who would be a support network
 Blames uncontrollable urges and partner for his own violent tendencies and feelings
 Cruel to children and animals, frequently sadistic.
 Verbally abusive, threatening, or degrading
 Comes from an abusive home, where he saw his father beat his mother.

Abusive men may also have problems with communication or may find it natural to express themselves
through violence because they experienced their parents “communicating” in this way (note: this
upbringing still does not excuse the violence, see myth No.4). When combined with poor anger-
management skills, this leads to violence as the vehicle of expression. Anger generally follows a pattern
that starts with self-need/ greed and leads to resentment that this need or greed is not fulfilled, e.g.

 I’m not getting what I want

 It must be someone else’s fault
 Someone else is wrong or bad for standing in my way
 If I remove that obstacle then I’ll get what I want.

Resulting violence can release this anger and tension replacing it with the feelings of dominance and
power that come from the satisfaction of getting their own way.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE ENVIRONMENT

There are many external factors that legitimate and facilitate the abuse of women. Again, as with
childhood upbringing, this is not to excuse the violence, or indicate that these are the only reasons, but
only to show the relevant external pressures. Violent actions are always the choice and responsibility of
the individual. External factors fall into six main categories:

 Media/Entertainment: films and television programs provide male role models who use physical
strength or weapons to solve problems or achieve goals. The media presents violence as exciting.
Overwhelmingly the victims of such violence are women, especially in pornographic films.
 Societal/Cultural: the long-held concept of the ideal man has been the strong, silent type who
fights his way to the top. Men are expected to be strong, aggressive, and in control, so boys learn
at an early age to use force if necessary to gain and maintain control.
 Historical/Religious: violence against women is also deeply rooted in our social institutions.
Women have long been regarded as inferior to men; indeed for centuries they were considered the
property of their husbands. Some religions continue to assert these beliefs today, though many
deeply religious people have rejected such teachings.
 Physical/Genetic: Men are genetically predisposed to be bigger and more muscular than women.
Thus it is often easy for a man to force his wishes on a woman without fear of being physically
injured himself.
 Economic/Financial: men are traditionally better-educated and better paid than women. It is easy
to dominate someone who is financially dependent and incapable of being self-sufficient.
 Legal/Judicial: because virtually all domestic violence and many sexual assaults take place within
the home, officials have traditionally been reluctant to enforce laws prohibiting male violence
against women. While much progress has been made, far too many prosecutors and law
enforcement officers continue to believe that “a man’s home is his castle,” that if only the women
were better wives their husbands wouldn’t have to hit them. Likewise, criminal justice officials
often ask a rape victim what she did to provoke her assailant, and marital rape has usually been
seen as justifiable rather than assaultive. This minimizes the seriousness of the violent act.

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4.7. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE VICTIM
The first step that we can take in understanding the predicament of the domestic violence victim is to
understand her psychological state. The following are characteristics often exhibited by victims of
domestic violence and good warning flags to look for if you suspect that someone is being abused:

 Timidity, jumpiness, anxiousness

 Perfectionism, obedience, submissiveness
 Depression, despair
 Feelings of inadequacy, powerlessness, worthlessness, humiliation
 Sleeping disorders, eating disorders
 Suicidal, self-injury
 Truancy, withdrawal from activities and friends
 Crying easily, getting hysterical, overacting to minor incidents
 Low self-esteem.

4.8 THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE CHILD

We must recognize how children are affected by violence. This is not only when the child is a victim.
Anytime a mother is abused by her husband/partner, her children may also be affected in both overt and
subtle ways, such as:

 Seeing, hearing, and sensing the abuse

 Confusion, stress, and fear
 Feeling guilty that they can’t protect her
 Feeling responsible, or that they are the reason she is being beaten
 Being abused or neglected themselves
 Sons are more likely to abuse their future wives, and the daughters more likely to be abused by
their future husbands
 Constant anxiety and stress about their mother’s well-being

4.9. WHY DOES THE ABUSED NOT LEAVE?

Assuming the abused person is an adult and has the possibility to leave the person that is abusing her, it is
important to understand the emotional, mental, practical, and economic reasons why the abused person
might not leave. These include that she:

 Loves the abuser

 Believes that abuse is a sign of love
 Is confused by what loving her partner entails
 Believes the abuser when he says it won’t happen again
 Hopes that the abuser will change
 Is persuaded by the “honeymoon” stage of the cycle of violence that the relationship is
worthwhile

 Does not want to split the family up

 Figures that a violent husband/ father is better than no husband/ father at all
 Is ashamed to admit she’s being abused
 Is unaware of her legal right to protection under the laws of the land
 Does not have anywhere else to go
 Does not know where to go to get help
 Is intimidated by the police
 Is disillusioned by police response to domestic violence

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She also may be afraid to leave because she is:

 Terrified of the repercussions of an attempt to leave; harassment; increased violence if she fails to
leave or goes to the authorities
 Fears becoming homeless
 Fears losing her children
 Fears poverty and isolation (particularly if her abuser has isolated her from relatives and friends)
 Fears what her family and friends might think of her.

She may be financially dependent on her abuser due to the fact that:

 He controls all their money

 She is forced to work at home and raise the children and is therefore unable to seek employment
which would give her the freedom to seek an independent life for her and her children
 Her contribution to a family business is not recognized by him and may not be recognized by the
law
 She did not receive enough schooling to be able to get a job
 She has no job skills
 The property is in her abuser’s name and she is unaware of her rights

If she has prolonged exposure to abuse she may:

 Start to rationalize her abuser’s behaviour

 Blame herself for provoking him (she has consistently been told that the violence is all her fault)
 Believe that she deserves to be hurt
 Be too mentally and physically exhausted to take the necessary steps
 Not have confidence in herself and her ability to take action feel like trying to leave is hopeless
since the abuser seems omnipotent

Even if she does leave it is tempting to go back because:

 She cannot get enough practical or emotional support

 The children are missing their dad
 She is insecure
 The abuser persuades her to go back.

Some of these factors are specific to certain women in particular the practical aspects such as lack of
support services, education, about one’s rights and police response to domestic violence. Most of the
emotional factors are common to victims of domestic abuse, and African cultures where gender inequality
and machismo is strong.

4.10. EMOTIONAL EFFECTS OF ABUSE

Domestic violence, like any other violent event can have tremendously damaging psychological
consequences for the victim. The two most common syndromes are:

 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

 Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS).

These are both very serious and anyone experiencing the corresponding symptoms should be monitored
closely.

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PTSD can occur at any point after the traumatic event, and can severely impair the victim’s ability to cope
with their situation. The criteria for diagnosing someone with PTSD are:

 Psychological reactivity to triggering cues

 Avoidance of triggering cues
 Intense psychological distress
 Dimming of responsiveness to others
 Change in attentiveness level
 Intrusive, persistent re-experiencing of trauma (i.e. dreams, flashbacks)
 Symptoms persisting for more than 1 month
 Symptoms cause significant distress or impairment in daily functioning

RTS: In an assault or a rape, events may seem to happen too fast, creating an overwhelming state of
paralysis. This can produce RTS in the victim as she tries to cope with what has happened. This is
manifested in both short-term and long-term symptoms.

Short-term (Acute) Symptoms (2 different styles exhibited)

Expressive

 Fear, anger, anxiety

 Sobbing, restlessness, smiling, tension, distress, inability to concentrate

Controlled

 Hidden or masked feelings

 Calm or subdued demeanour, withdrawal.

Long-term (Chronic) Symptoms

 Life-style changes (residence, phone number, workplace, habits)

 Nightmares (reliving experience, exchanging roles with the abuser)
 Fears and phobias (i.e. being alone, mistrust of men)
 Change in sexual activity (severe increase or decrease, sex can trigger flashbacks)
 Change in relationships (decrease in trust of others, decrease in contact with friends and
family, loss of confidence and self-esteem).

4.11. PHYSICAL EFFECTS OF VIOLENCE

 Serious injuries (i.e. broken bones, fractures, sprains, burns, cuts, concussions, lacerations,
contusions, bites, perforated eardrums)
 Infections (anal, vaginal, pelvic)
 Dizziness, numbness
 Permanent disabilities (i.e. asthma, belly pain, muscle pain, irritable bowel syndrome)
 Death
 Miscarriages, unwanted pregnancies
 STDs, HIV/AIDS

SUBSTANCE ABUSE/PEER PRESSURE

Introduction
Substance abuse refers to the harmful or hazardous use of psychoactive substances, including alcohol and
illicit drugs. Psychoactive substance use can lead to dependence syndrome - a cluster of behavioural,
cognitive, and physiological phenomena that develop after repeated substance use and that typically
include a strong desire to take the drug, difficulties in controlling its use, persisting in its use despite

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harmful consequences, a higher priority given to drug use than to other activities and obligations,
increased tolerance, and sometimes a physical withdrawal state (WHO).

Substance abuse, also known as drug abuse, is a patterned use of a drug in which the user consumes the
substance in amounts or with methods which are harmful to themselves or others, and is a form of
substance-related disorder (Wikipedia)

What is a drug and substance abuse?

Substance abuse refers to the harmful or hazardous use of psychoactive substances, including alcohol and
illicit drugs. Psychoactive substance use can lead to dependence syndrome - a cluster of behavioural,
cognitive, and physiological phenomena that develop after repeated substance use and that typically
include a strong desire to take the drug, difficulties in controlling its use, persisting in its use despite
harmful consequences, a higher priority given to drug use than to other activities and obligations,
increased tolerance, and sometimes a physical withdrawal state (WHO)

Substance abuse, also known as drug abuse, is a patterned use of a drug in which the user consumes the
substance in amounts or with methods which are harmful to themselves or others, and is a form of
substance-related disorder (Wikipedia)
Drugs commonly abused:
• Alcohol
• Cigarettes
• Marijuna
• Cocaine
• Heroin
• Inhalants and solvents – glue, petrol
• Khat
Drugs and substances classification:
• Narcotics -
• Depressants
• Stimulants
• Hallucinogens
• Anabolic steroids

CAUSES AND EFFCTS OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE

Ali went with some friends to see a movie. Then they all decided to go to Hassan’s house. Nobody
was there and they could drink as much as they liked. Ali just had a fight withhis girlfriend/at
home/with his employer and got quite drunk and then Hassan started smoking a cigarette he had
rolled. Ali did not want to smoke but Hassan told him to have just one puff. He did but had no clue
what happened next. All he knew was that when he woke up, he was in the police station. He is
worried about his health and what he may have done.
a. Discuss why Ali took those drugs.
b. Brainstorm why people take any drugs.
Listen for:
 To forget;
 To keep up with friends;
 Because they feel lonely;
 Because they feel hopeless;
 To feel happy;
 Considered glamorous (advertisements promote, movie stars use them);
 To try it just once – to experiment;
 They like the feeling;
 They are addicted to it;

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  To relax; and/or
 To have fun
1. Fill in the gaps with content in facilitator’s notes
2. Ask them to brainstorm on the effects of drug abuse, listen for:
• Unable to coordinate movements;
• Arguments and conflicts;
• Interferes with decision-making;
• Dulls senses;
• Violent behavior;
• Intensifies or depresses feelings or moods;
• Unable to communicate clearly;
• Unable to stop
• Stealing;
• Failure in school/work;
• Trouble with the police;
• Getting STIs or HIV;
• Having sex;
• Taking risks; and/or
• Problems with family, friends and at work.
3. Write answers on flip chart and the fill in with notes on facilitator’s notes section.

Why do people take drugs

 Peer Pressure
 Curiosity and the drive to experiment or find out
 The need to cope with problems
 The belief that one feels good after drug use or alcohol consumption
 Idleness – the desire to kill boredom and time (employment)
 The desire to belong
 The desire to gain strength and courage
 The desire to remain awake

Effects of drug and substance abuse

Different drugs have different effects but the general effects are:
 Damage to bidily organs like liver (alcohol)
 Nausea, vomiting
 fainting
 Stroke
 HIV and AIDS for injecting drug users
 anxiety, irritability, and restlessness.
 Depression
 Violent behavior
 Poor performance in, school, work
 Strianed relationship
 Lung cancer

HOW TO PREVENT AND MANAGE DRUG AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE

Instructions/Procedure
1. Ask participants to share how they think drug and substance abuse can be prevented? and Managed,
fill in gaps with see facilitator’s notes

Prevention of Drug and Substance Abuse

 Practice saying “no,” to peer pressure be assertive;
 Keep company with positive values

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 Look for healthier ways of releving stress
 Take help from a trusted person.
Management:
 Counselling
 Rehabilitation

PEER PRESSURE
Causes of adolescents’ problems are physical changes, low self-esteem, poor upbringing, curiosity and
idleness, lack of self-control, loneliness, the mass media and lack of awareness.

Activity 4: A skit on peer pressure

Ask four participant to do a skit on how participants are pressurized by others into engaging in
inappropriate behaviour such as being involved in sexual behaviour or abusing alcohol and drugs. Follow
up with a discussion:

 What did you see, hear and think of the play?

 What lessons did you learn from the play?

Activity 5: Dealing with peer pressure

Ask two pairs of participants to volunteer. Each pair to pick one of the mentioned scenarios and show the
group how they would deal with peer pressure when:

a) Being asked to take alcohol

b) Lured to engage in sexual behaviour.

Peer pressure
Peers are people who are of the same age, rank, status or ability. In this case, they are friends or age-
mates, who learn, talk, compare ideas and do things together. Peer pressure therefore refers to feeling
compelled by age mates into doing something which one might not want to do or approve of in order to
be accepted in the group.
During adolescence, children find relationships with their friends extremely important. They undertake
various activities together both at school and outside school. They are relatively of the same age group,
have common interests, go through similar experiences and are more open to each other. In most cases,
the adolescents want to establish independence from the parents so as to conform to the peer group norms
and influence. They also feel that adults do not seem to understand them.
Resisting Peer Pressure
• Adolescents find it difficult to resist peer pressure. Some of them may yield to
• these pressures and engage in experimentation.
• Aggressive self conduct; irresponsible behaviour and substance abuse involve
• greater risks with regard to physical and mental health.
• The experiment with smoking and milder drugs can lead to switching over to hard drugs and
addiction at a later stage.

As the adolescent interacts with their peers there are many values they acquire which may lead to social
benefits such as sharing, co-operation, teamwork, tolerance and respect. However, there are also some
negative social influences within the peer group which can lead them into risky behaviours such as
truancy, alcohol and substance abuse, premarital sex, early pregnancy, violence, rebellion towards
authority of parents and teachers, pornography through videos, TV and internet and crime
To overcome peer pressure children need to:
• Choose their friends well

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• Set their own standards
• Know how to manage their feelings
• Communicate with their parents and teachers
• When not sure about something they should ask parents, teachers or an older person they trust
and respect
• Always remember one cannot buy friendship
• Be assertive

MEDIA INFLUENCE
MODULE 12: MEDIA INFLUENCE

Introduction

Media today has a huge influence on teenagers. Be it television, computers, video games, social
networking sites. But all is not bad with the media. If used right, media can change lives for good.
Exposure to various media outlets can help develop awareness about society and the world. This cultural
and political awareness is vital if we want to groom a generation of socially responsible citizens.

The world is full of perfect people today. With perfect skin, body, and hair – that’s what it appears like to
the young today. Thanks to Photoshop, the standard of beauty has become impossible to achieve. And
these images are everywhere. The amount of violence in video games and movies today is scary. Many
teenagers are unable to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Teenagers are just discovering their
sexuality. It is very normal for them to be interested in everything sexual. But the amount of sex in media
today can make a teenager confused. Sex without responsibility – that seems to be the message being
beamed at teenagers.

The media today is powerful and omnipresent. You just can’t escape its tentacles. And you don’t need to!
Remember, media is just a tool and like any other tool, how you use it depends on you.

Purpose

To understand that media can be a positive or negative influence depending on how it is used and/or
regulated.

Media Influence on Youth Behaviour

Media is one of the most effective ways of communicating and reflecting social norms. However, the
media is increasingly becoming a dangerous influence with numerous presentations of violence, senseless
killing, and merged sex and violence.
Unrestricted access or unmonitored use of video halls, internet, movies, popular culture and music can
have a negative effect on the youth.
Sexual Violence
Mainstream media is guilty of promoting ideas and behaviours that sustain a rape-prone culture.
Violence and sex frequently are merged, obscuring the fact that they are mutually exclusive behaviors
that are inappropriately bound together. Whether it’s confusing violence with passion, seeing women
purely as sex objects, or suggesting that sex drive is an out-of-control animal force, TV shows and movies
consistently excuse and justify sexual violence.
Sexuality
Today, television has become a leading sex educator. TV exposes children to adult sexual behaviours in
ways that portray these actions as normal and risk-free, sending the message that because these
behaviours are frequent, ‘everybody does it’. Sex between unmarried partners is shown more often than
sex between spouses while sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy are rarely mentioned.
Music videos & Lyrics
Up to 75% of videos contain sexually explicit material and more than half contain violence that is often
committed against women. Women are portrayed frequently in a condescending manner that affects

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children’s attitudes about sex roles. Music lyrics have also become increasingly explicit, particularly with
references to sex, drugs and violence.
Internet
The Internet has a significant potential for providing children and youth with access to educational
information, however, there are other concerns as well:
• Pedophiles who use the Internet to lure young people into relationships
• Children can be exposed to pornographic material and sex chat rooms
• Child traffickers can lure young people through the web
• Exposure sexual offenders
Image and Beauty Standards: Negative
It's no secret that media has had an increasingly negative impact on the way teenage girls measure their
personal image and beauty standards. The sizes of supermodels and actresses often influence teenage girls
-- who are actively seeking to find an identity -- to believe they have to be thin to exemplify beauty.
Teens should be taught to value their own definitions of beauty above all else.

Glorifying Negative Behaviors: Negative

Movies and television programs often show characters using drugs and alcohol and engaging in violent
behaviors. At a developmental stage when teens seek greater freedom and independence, the glorification
of drugs, alcohol, risky sexual and violent behaviors in the media make it challenging for teens to make
responsible behavioral choices. Ultimately it's up to parents to teach their teens about the negative
consequences associated with risky behaviors. Teens need to learn to use their critical thinking skills --
and parents can help them in this area -- by distinguishing fantasy from reality, and analyzing the agendas
and target audiences of various advertisements.

Cultural and Political Awareness: Positive

Teens can benefit from media exposure by developing cultural and political awareness. Television, films,
magazines and social media sites expose teens -- who may otherwise be limited to interactions with
people from their own cultural and ethnic backgrounds -- to an array of different people. While family
members and peers may perpetuate stereotypes of different cultural groups, media outlets can offer a
diverse display of cultural or ethnic groups -- that encourage teens to think critically and question cultural
stereotypes. International News outlets such as CNN, BBC and Al-Jazeera English, provide teens with an
opportunity to develop a political stance.
Social Skills Development: Positive
Teens can learn to enhance social interactions with their peers through involvement in social media. Quite
often, friendships on social media sites are merely offline extensions of existing, face-to-face
relationships. Social media also allows teens to cultivate new friendships, which brings them access to
wider networks and provides even greater learning and social opportunities. Social media diversifies
teens' social skills, which will help them navigate through a technologically astute society.

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
Introduction
Conflict is defined variously by different authors; here are a few sampled definitions:

1. Conflict is any situation in which your concerns or desires differ from those of another person
2. A condition that exists anytime two or more people disagree
3. Any situation in whichyour concerns or desiresdiffer from those ofanother person

Conflict is inevitable in life it is a natural phenomenon, neither inherently good nor bad, but there may
be positive or negative outcomes depending on how we manage it.

Purpose

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To help participants understand conflict, its effects and how to manage it and its consequences in life

What is Conflict?
Conflict is defined variously by different authors, here are a few sampled definitions:
1. Conflict is any situation in which your concerns or desires differ from those of another person
2. A condition that exists anytime two or more people disagree
3. Any situation in which your concerns or desires differ from those of another person
Conflict is cannot be avoided in life and is neither good nor bad, but there may be positive or negative
outcomes depending on how we manage it.
Causes of Conflict:
The following graphic explains categories of areas where conflict may arise

Conflict arises in these areas because the people involved may:

• Have different points of view on an issue
• Have different values, and percieve a situation differently
• Have different ways for doing things
• Have different goals in life
• Have sstablished expectations of one another but fail to communicate hence not met.
What are the Consequences of Conflict?
• It may result in anger, tension and fighting (violence)
• It may result in broken relationships
The consequences of conflict are not always negative if managed well it could result in:
• Clarification of unresolved issues and greater understanding
• Greater respect for each other
How to manage conflict:
The 6 steps in the conflict resolution process are:
1. Clarify what the disagreement is.
2. Establish a common goal for both parties.
3. Discuss ways to meet the common goal.
4. Determine the barriers to the common goal.
5. Agree on the best way to resolve the conflict.
6. Acknowledge the agreed solution and determine the responsibilities each party has in the resolution.

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