1. |
Hangover Game (Live)
02:16
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Jordan wanted to sign with Adidas for shoes
But Nike gave him an offer that he could not refuse
It wasn’t a pizza that poisoned him in Utah
With the hotel bill to prove
Three thousand dollars on just five dudes
I bought fake Jordans
They weren’t even shoes
Oh he looked so sick
It was all over the news
But it wasn’t the pizza and it wasn’t the flu
Yeah I love drinking too
I love drinking too
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2. |
Knockin (Live)
03:41
|
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We saw John Daly sing “Knockin on Heaven’s Door”
Bird calls comin from the rafters at the hardware store
They took my driver’s license but you still have yours
You’re all I need babe
Yeah you’ve heard that one before
You’re all I need babe
Loneliness is simple
Not much else is
Her love for me is real
She gives what she has to give
She gave me wings
And I caught blight
And I think I might be knock knock knock knock knock knockin
On heaven’s door tonight
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3. |
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It’s plain to me to see
You have bought yourself a boat
Since the last time you and me spoke
Your laundry looks so pretty
Soft threads hanging and relaxing in the wind
You’ll feel so much better
When you wear these clothes again
The waves ruin the beach house
Every year on your birthday
They gave this hurricane your human name
How many more bug bites
And other subtle misfortunes can I withstand tonight?
Someone snuck their mothballs in my headlights
The neighbors are cussing
And throwing shit in the yard
While echoes of the minor leagues
Tumble down the road
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4. |
TLC Cagematch (Live)
04:22
|
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It’s hard to see you fall like that
Though I know how much of it’s an act
In this tables, ladders, and chairs match
Where all things go
Like your shoulders, your hips, and knees
They all hurt you
They will work you
Just need to take some of these
And all things go
That’s why you do what you gotta do
Just to get through
And I know life will make you crazy
I do
Now it’s not the same as when we were boys
The playful way we would destroy
Half naked taking steroids
And watch us go
I always believed you every time you said
You were gonna be like our heroes someday
Well, baby
All our heroes now are dead
Cause all things go
That’s why we do what we gotta do
Just to get through
And I know life will make us crazy
I do
And I know why we get fucked up
I know why we get so fucked up
I know why we get so fucked up
I do
It’s hard to see you fall so flat
From so high up hard down on the matt
In this battle royale cage match
Where all things go
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5. |
Rudolph (Live)
06:18
|
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Rudolph waking up in the road
Dew dripping off his red nose
Blue and black tire track torn
Through a beautiful doe
Deleted scene of Lightning McQueen
Blacked out at full speed
How many roads must a man walk down til he learns
He’s just a jerk who flirts with the clergy nurse til it burns
I wouldn’t be in the seminary if I could be with you
If I could be with you
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6. |
Toontown (Live)
04:11
|
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Toontown frown
I’m your beat down rodeo clown
With his pants pulled down
Faded face paint smile
Leave the end on simmer for a while
Did you find my Disney World?
Did it make you dizzy, girl?
When it fell apart,
Did it break your heart?
Now I’m crying in the bathroom
Of our dying world in a vacuum
Still trying to be funny
You can see right through me
Honey
Toontown frown
Just some watered down romeo clown
With his pants pulled down
Did you find my Disney World?
Did it make you dizzy, girl?
When it fell apart,
Did it break your heart?
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7. |
Dan Marino (Live)
02:32
|
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My daddy saw Dan Marino
At a Harris Teeter
In South Carolina
By the shore
He hustled his balls
And looked at a cereal box
He did not see his face
Brady’s has replaced
Tom Brady’s has replaced
But I think big Dan will be alright
For he’s a hall of famer
The next day we saw dolphins
From a friend of ours boat
From a friend of ours boat
We saw dolphins
From our friends boat
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8. |
Under Control (Live)
02:25
|
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I had it under control
I had it under control
And then it snow balled
And rolled and rolled and rolled
And I don’t have control anymore
Can’t say I didn’t know
But sometimes you get so alone
I’d always seen the corner
And still I stubbed my toe
Can’t say I didn’t know
Don’t remind me
Don’t remind me
What I already know
Don’t remind me
Don’t remind me
I know
I got my wheels in a ditch
There’s a word for this
For what used to scratch the itch
And then some day it quit
Ain’t that a bitch
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9. |
SUV (Live)
02:01
|
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I still have the key
To your boyfriend’s SUV
I keep it by my bed
Like a picture of you and me
You caught me in my bathrobe
You caught me on my knees
You caught me on my weekend
Catching up on my TV
My TV
|
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10. |
Catholic Priest (Live)
03:31
|
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Used to believe I wanted to be
A catholic priest
I would never have to worry
About the girls tryin' to break my heart
All expenses paid yeah I'd have it made
The house would come furnished
Yeah I'd have it made been livin' like
Every time I black out night
It's a soccer time-out
Lost minutes added to the end of my life
I wish I remembered what I said
I woke up embarrassed with a pain in my head
I wish I remembered hurtin' your feelings
I woke up embarrassed took out the trash
I woke up embarrassed
And I tried to make you laugh
|
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11. |
Live Jack (Live)
03:02
|
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Course I know, we are so small
I put it in perspective
Still I can't help believe
That someday I’ll have it all
Jack Nicholson's courtside seat
Purple foam imprinted with celebrity asscheek
And if the Laker's get beat
Well it won’t mean much to me
Course I know, we are in charge
Eight billion little bosses doin'
Eight billion little jobs
Still I find myself stressin'
LIke I'm tied to a track
So I bought myself a hammock to try to relax
And I found two trees
With the nerve enough to hold me
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12. |
||||
Someone get the grill out of the rain
Thought you could drink it off
Now you're drowning in your pain
It'd be such a bust
That grill should rust
Precious memories are the ones that suck
Just can't get enough
Someone get the grill out of the rain
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13. |
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Pretty little puddle
In Miami blue
Huge water slide
Into a drained out
Community swimming pool
Seed fell out of the feeder
And the birds are eating on the ground
Jackass is funny
Like the Earth is round
Rogan’s home for the holidays
The conversations are good
And the dinners are great
If only for being homemade
I bought you a shirt
From the local merch at the airport
Gave it to you and screamed
“You are every girl to me”
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14. |
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15. |
||||
Ten years ago, on a cold dark night
Someone was killed 'neath the town hall light
Few were at the scene, but they all did agreed
That the man who ran looked a lot like me
The judge said, "Son what is your alibi?
If you were somewhere else then you don't have to die"
I said not a word though it meant my life
I had been in the arms of my best friend's wife
She walks these hills in a long black veil
She visits my grave when the night winds wail
Nobody knows, nobody sees
Nobody knows but me
The scaffold was high, and eternity nears
She stood in the crowd and shed not a tear
But sometimes at night when the cold wind moans
In a long black veil she cries over my bones
She walks these hills in a long black veil
She visits my grave when the night winds wail
Nobody knows, nobody sees
Nobody knows but me, nobody knows but me, nobody knows but me
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