1. |
fuck you, sun
05:13
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Maybe I'd feel better on a stormy day
Possibly a difference in the dark and gray
'Cuz it's nice out and I feel like shit
Yeah the sun's up, but nothing's even changed a bit
So I wait around for another way
For another way
For another way
Have I wasted so much time asking "what ifs" and "whys",
Then who am I to ask the questions?
If not me, then how can anything come around
Before reality has been cemented?
Will we ever know?
Can it stand to leave me alone?
I don't feel like home anymore
When is enough, where is the line on the floor?
Maybe I'd feel safer if I crawled in bed
Comfort under covers tricks my body best
No, it's not my fault that I feel like this
Yeah my head's up, but the thread is wearing awfully thin
So I bid my time 'til another way
'Til another way
'Til another way
Have I wasted so much time asking "what ifs" and "whys",
Then who am I to ask the questions?
If not me, then how can anything come around
Before reality has been cemented?
Will we ever know?
Can it stand to leave me alone?
I don't feel like home anymore
When is enough, where is the line on the floor?
What is too tough, maybe all I've endured
I don't feel like home anymore
When is enough, where is the line on the floor?
What is too tough, maybe all I've endured
I don't feel like home
Like home
Like home
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2. |
waiting
03:24
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Stayed up all night
Watched the sky turn to blue
And I
Felt like nothing new was coming
Behind closed eyes
Tried to pick out a scene,
But I
Felt like nothing good was running
Am I here waiting on change that will never come?
Looking into eyes that won't look up?
I'm hiding from rays so I don't get burned,
Viewing your lives from inside a window
And if it's on its way, tell me how i'll know
It never bears a face that I've met before
I'm growing impatient
I feel like I've waited all my past lives
Slept through the day
Sorry I missed the sun,
But hey,
Was busy vivid dreaming
I was a snake
Shed my skin,
Finally gained the strength
But I woke up without healing
Am I here waiting on change that will never come?
Looking into eyes that won't look up?
I'm hiding from rays so I don't get burned,
Viewing your lives from inside a window
And if it's on its way, tell me how i'll know
It never bears a face that I've met before
I'm growing impatient
I feel like I've waited all my
Am I searching for rain in a cloudless sky?
Wandering the desert, hoping for the tide?
I pray to somebody, a moment of life
Is it a sign, is it only wind blowing?
If it's on its way, tell me how I'll know
All things move just the same as before
I'm growing impatient
I feel like I've waited
Oh, I'm growing impatient
I feel like I've waited all my past lives
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3. |
good luck
05:39
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Hand full of splinters
Banging on your door without answers
And it still hurts and
Mouth full of vinegar
You didn't see me when you could see me
And I'm bitter
And I'm bitter
How, how hard could it be?
To admit to yourself that you hurt somebody
And what?
What more could you need?
I have wasted my breath on someone who won't speak so
Good luck
From now on I am not convenient
I'm done
Holding on to non-existence
Good luck
Good luck
Mouth full of beetles
Shallower breathing, self-deceiving leaves you
Unsettled
Eye full of needles
Try to replace me, hope to forget me
But that's not possible
How, how hard could it be?
To say it out loud that you did me dirty
And what?
What more could you need?
I have wasted my time on the ghost of defeat
Good luck
From now on I am not convenient
I'm done
Holding on to non-existence
Good luck
Good luck
How many hours?
How many days?
I would count myself sick if I tried to replay
Every moment you missed, what I would've said to you
How many outcries?
How many calls
You let go silent, and suddenly I'm gone
Every moment you missed, pushing me out to blue
How, how hard could it be?
To admit to yourself that you hurt somebody
And what?
What more could you need?
I have wasted my breath on someone who won't speak so
Good luck
From now on I am not convenient
I'm done
Holding on to non-existence
Good luck
Good luck
Good luck
Good luck
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4. |
color
05:41
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I got some good news today
The first I've heard since January
Since I awoke alive and okay
In a bed by loving faces
Talked to an old friend last night
Needed help from someone trusted
Stayed up 'til it felt alright
Hung up smiling in different places
And outside my window's a monochromatic sky
But I don't mind
Because I have
Accepted that here is where I need to be
And so I fill
My bedroom walls with color
Today I tried something new
Let go of all expectation
Heard myself inside our tune
Oh, you had me let go of perfection
I started seeing morning again
We have lovely conversation
Even when there's nothing to say
Somehow I know we're always changing
And outside my window's a monochromatic sky
But I don't mind
Because I have
Accepted that here is where I need to be
And so I fill
My bedroom walls with color
I'm tryna to learn
I'm tryna be
Comfortable in my own company
I'm tryna see
Trying to observe
All the little things
And outside my window's a monochromatic sky
But I don't mind
Because I have
Accepted that here is where I need to be
And so I fill
My bedroom walls
And so I fill
My bedroom walls with color
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5. |
brain soup
05:52
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I'm not used to talking on the phone
I've avoided everybody's calls
Solitary got too comfortable
Almost forgotten it all, the feeling
I'm not used to having you around
So much time has passed, but it feels like nothing
And I see you as I did a child
All this time, I've longed for it all
The feeling of knowing
That there's no question where I stand
While we happily dive in the deep end of
Meaning, of floating
Back in pool where we've always swam
Yeah, the water is always better with a friend
Yeah, the water is always better with a friend
You're not used to having someone there
Who has shared a life and knows your fears
Waiting on change isn't comfortable,
But it feels good to speak on it all, like we used to
You're not used to spending time alone
And you say your head is full of brain soup
Well, I know we've done this dance before
All the while, I've longed for it all
The feeling of knowing
That there's no question where I stand
While we happily dive in the deep end of
Meaning, of floating
Back in pool where we've always swam
Yeah, the water is always better with a friend
Yeah, the water is always better with a friend
The feeling of knowing
That there's no question where I stand
While we happily dive in the deep end of
Meaning, of floating
Back in pool where we've always swam
Yeah, the water is always better with a friend
Yeah, the water is always better with a friend
Yeah, the water is always better
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6. |
jealousy
03:36
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There's a flickering
Starting at the fingers
And it sparks the tips
When inching myself closer
But I look away
'Cuz I won't feel if I don't have to
A smiling face, yeah
Will show there's nothing here that's hurting
To show there's nothing
There's a tiny flame
Licking at the elbows
And a lighter strikes
With your hand on someone else's
So I look away
'Cuz I won't feel if I don't have to
A smiling face, yeah
To prove I'm nothing but indifferent
To prove I'm nothing
And there's a raging fire
Screaming at the rib cage
Gasoline when you
Only celebrate her birthday
So I must away
'Cuz I won't feel if I don't have to
A smiling face, yeah
To prove that I'm not really jealous
To show that I'm not
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Shai-Li Kalamazoo, Michigan
25-year-old singer-songwriter, performer, producer, and artist based out of kalamazoo, mi.
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