1. |
ENTERTAINMENT
02:44
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i woke up when i heard the blow. heading east towards KSMO. sixteen wheelers passing too close. dust picks up and swallows us whole. (it’s alright, forget it). i regret some choices i’ve made. entertainment only remains, while i keep descending. who will decipher pain from the lie?
with every decision phased and finalized, i keep descending and no one remembers my face, my name.
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2. |
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heavy hand, middle class. chemical in a bag. all I want; love me all the time. enough is never enough. i won’t talk if you pull me up and collect my blood inside a cup. spit me out or let me in. a fantasy, a sedative. i love the way you turn to face me. drive to my head. filled with smoke, seamless dread. i don’t come to you now. when you call i can’t feel it. i remember the promise of a future. could it all be in my head? could the reaction be a godsend? i made my bed, i’ll lie in it. i bit the curb and all at once vision blurs, pressure rise, and then time becomes nothing.
face that truth. any old you. i don’t care, i’ll be your “soon”. a folly of youth. spit and then bend. i don’t care, i’ll be your friend. i’ll be your friend
in death and youth.
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3. |
WRONG CIRCLE
02:51
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staring over my back to trace a fading line. i don’t know where i am. no shape, no second try.
pick up the phone. the little death is all i want. to be alone. to shake myself awake at night.
stretching out and thin, i feel the pull from under.
sink into a spin and never react.
ran all the way home. i want to believe in another life; the one we’re meant to be in. if hell is a mirror then i can’t pretend i mean it. and when you’re gone i’ll keep the light on like we were together.
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4. |
BAD SON
02:51
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how you wanna pass the time? i know you wanna live so you can’t die. but no one knows my name, they don’t know why. someone wants my trust in lies. i’m a bad son, that’s why the family thinks twice. i don’t have love, i just sympathize nice. but every time i wake i try. if you keep your world small you monopolize. don’t ascribe to me for your fortunate life. tell me the truth: do you really want someone, too? forced by design to forcefully realign.
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5. |
GIVE UP YOUR LIFE
02:54
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i read your message. you were there for us all. exposed your body to debris from the fall. what have i got me in to? distressing letters force apologies through. if i’m not careful now i won’t be long for this world. i read your message,
i was suffering, too. designed partitions no one gets through. i’m not lonely now. i don’t care for this world. we bump shoulders and talk, walking the dog after dark. give up your life to me, then you’ll see. give up your life to me, now.
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6. |
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scratch the itch to find the merit. no limitations, you know what i’m after. what if i don’t pull through? believing is selfish but the feeling is mutual. what if i don’t pull through this time? i know what it feels like to live an enthused life.
i know what it feels like to be flushed out and bathing in eyes. spanning lifetimes, compressed in a vacuum. no limitations, you know what comes after. what if i don’t pull through? i don’t know how to find what i have to. and though we can dance all day, dissolve in the fragmentation,
is the hole we make devouring us? what if we don’t feel the same?
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7. |
THE SERVER IS IMMERSED
02:49
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i was following paths i’ve already tried. dread desires the weak
and it’s all red sea above me. (a distant future - i don’t make
sense of it. collapsed with one word).
the server is immersed. she walks past affluent streets. no, you
don’t have a clue but at least i know that i do. (rewind the video - it
gets the best of us. i sent a post card.)
anywhere that you go, they will find you. you might wait but you’re
already in the future. anywhere that you go, there’s a pulpit and a
preacher. anywhere that you go.
dozed on ativan - i was out of my mind. please, you don’t know
the truth but at least i know that i do.
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8. |
IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME
02:38
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through the fabric of space, we go. with the promise of life, i wept for the goal. do you realize you’re caught in a web? would you lie to your spawn to save them a trip? around, they go.
around, they’re gone. it might take some time.
it might take some time, too.
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9. |
WAKE UP (IN ROTATION)
02:56
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i’ve read a thousand lines. they slipped through my palms. i’m already late, i can feel it. i, i’m all pitiful then one morning i, i can’t feel it. i slip my hand in to my pocket and i, i see it goes right through, it goes all the way. it goes all the way so how do i know it ends? i want to wake up. i want to wake up in rotation. i’d utilize subterfuge to emerge unscathed. but paralyzed, i lie wide awake once again and i ask myself the point of everything. and i see myself out of the room, again. destroy everything.
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10. |
I SUCK THE DEVIL’S COCK
06:40
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i’m covered and taking numbers at the door. propped up.
automate this experience. don’t ask me who it’s for. i catch the
sky and hide my diamonds in your eyes. i know they shatter when
they overflow. i’m daring you to come. this food will rot on it’s way
to the ground. i came to sing and dance for you, i came to spit into
your mouth. face to the screen. i lie completed and recede. i know
that money’s just a metaphor, a cost to pull the strings.
always on my mind. i saw it the first time high, alone. when you
hear the call, will you answer? always far from home. relapse in a
car. when my heart was hurting, broke and fried. when you walk
alone, can you feel it follow? i am on your side. sometimes i find
my impulse is to stare straight into the sun. motion sickness
creeps in. when i was fifteen i knew how to run. i swear i’ll find
you once again, i know love never ends.
remember when the feeling is gone.
dropped blood on the picture. it won’t smudge but look away. i
know you feel it, it’s hard to see, but it’s different now. no money
left to spend, no one to spend it on. i know you feel it, it’s hard to.
it’s all different now.
scared of needles but not of everything. another middle class
dumb american, falling asleep. he don’t appreciate constructive
criticism. his glow, it permeates beyond the scope of vision. you’re
a special soul. so let your ego die and burn up everything. you don't need their help, you don't need anything. you're in control
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11. |
DEATH
03:18
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this life is a party. so sweet it’s like candy; melts in your head. i feel every moment, like anything can happen. it can happen to me, eventually.
always falling down
write checks you can’t cash. smile for the last act. once was a comedy is now the universe.
(you can have it all. my love is chemical. suffer for devotion, nowhere left to run.)
entertainment, death.
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