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Jokes

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302 views3 pages

Jokes

Uploaded by

api-3695674
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
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Download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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READ TILL THE END

JOKES
1.TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
STUDENT: The one that says, School Ahead, Go Slow.

2.TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

3.TEACHER: John, how do you spell crocodile?


JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

4.TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?


SAM: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SAM: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

5.TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.


GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

6.TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years
ago
WILLIE: Me!

7.TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?


TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

8.TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with I.


ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, I am.
ELLEN: All right... I am the ninth letter of the alphabets.

9.TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?


JOHN: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.

10.TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?
GEORGE: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

Quotes-Quotations
1. Older men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.

2. Risk many things in life. But not life itself.

3. From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step.

4. Art never expresses anything but itself.

5. Self-trust is the essence of heroism.

6. If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him. Of course, no one would
have remembered him either.

7. Music should be something that makes you gotta move,inside or outside

8. Science knows no country, because knowledge belongs to humanity, and is the torch which
illuminates the world.

9. A poor teacher complains, an average teacher explains, a good teacher teaches, a great
teacher inspires.

10. Football is not a contact sport; it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.

FACTS ABOUT Bill Gates


1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 million a day and US$7.8
billion a YEAR!

2. If he drops a thousand dollar, he won't even bother to pick it up because he would've


already earned it back in the same time he spends to pick it.

3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion$, if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself; he
will finish it in less than 10 years.

4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth and still be left with US$5 million.

5. If Bill Gates were a country, he would be the 37th richest country on earth.

6. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes, you can make a road from the earth
to moon, 14 times back and forth. But you will have to make that road non-stop for 1,400
years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money.

Discoveries of MAN and WOMAN

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.


Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.


Woman discovered painting, invented make-up .

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.


Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip .

Man discovered agriculture, invented food


Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.


Woman discovered love, invented marriage .

Man discovered trade, invented money.


Woman discovered money, man has never recovered

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