How do we help a child learn to talk?

That’s a very big question with many factors. My goal is to make that daunting task a little easier for you with
these WE CAN TALK tips for enhancing a child’s speech and language skills. These tips are designed for:

→ parents of a young child who is having trouble communicating

→ speech-language pathologists
→ early childhood educators
→ anyone who wants ideas on how to coach parents or help kids learn to talk

Whatever reason or journey led you here, these ideas can help you.

I created WE CAN TALK years ago and have used them extensively with
my own clients. I’m excited to share them with you. As a speech-language
pathologist since 1980, I’ve combined decades of experience coaching
parents on how to help their children communicate during daily routines.
WE CAN TALK gives you a place to start. I have witnessed the joys,
concerns, frustrations, and successes of teaching a child to talk. My expertise includes working with young
children with a variety of communication problems such as general speech and language delay, autism, apraxia,
Down Syndrome, cleft palate, and more.

Before we start, I want to share some of my foundational beliefs with you:

→ You know your child better than anyone. When your child cries, squirms, is frustrated, or is happy, you
can identify better than anyone what he or she may need or want. As a speech-language pathologist, I
always looked for those moments in a child’s day that a parent could use to help a child communicate
more effectively. Every situation is an opportunity for enhancing your child’s speech and language skills.
It’s my honor is to show you how to tweak your already incredible skills.

→ Your child IS communicating. Whether using words or not, your child is communicating in some way. He
or she may be using eye contact, gesturing, running away in fear, laughing, crying, or screaming. This is
all communication. My desire is to help you analyze how your child is currently communicating and build
on those skills.

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 → We often expect children to imitate or say words before they are ready. One of life’s greatest joys is to
hear a child say words for the first time. Of course, that is our goal. We sometimes try to get children to
imitate or say a word which only results in frustration from both the child and the parent. WE CAN TALK
techniques guide you in other strategies to try when imitation is simply not there.

→ There are many skills that a child needs to be an effective communicator. While this guide isn’t meant to
list all of these skills, it gives you advice that is helpful for all kids regardless of their individual skill level.
Some modification may be necessary at times to effectively reach your child.

→ We cannot force a child to talk. We can only change our approach in guiding your child to talk. Always
remember that to change a behavior in a child, we first need to change our own.

These WE CAN TALK tips are the foundation for the speech and language therapy and parent coaching I offer. I
am thrilled to share them with you because I know first-hand they are successful.

WE CAN TALK -
Tips for enhancing your child’s speech and language
W Wait, Watch, and Wonder about what your child is communicating.

E Examine your position. Exaggerate and entice with your gestures and voice to increase imitation.

C Comment about what you and your child are doing, seeing, and enjoying.

A Add singing throughout your day. Children love and learn from music.

N Notice when your child initiates communication. Respond and add to it.

T Take turns talking, giving your child time to respond. Keep it going.

A Ask questions to decrease frustration, but use them cautiously.

L Laugh a lot! Laughing together is a great way to get talking started.

K Keep books handy. Your child needs a daily dose of reading.

I chose these tips because they are adaptable to every family, daily routine, and child. Each tip is briefly explained
below with specific suggestions for implementation to get you started. You can explore these concepts in greater
depth in my book We Can Talk and through the short video clips I have available.

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 W
Wait, Watch, and Wonder
about what your child is communicating.
Adults tend to anticipate a child’s needs too quickly. This anticipation is certainly understandable as you want
to avoid a child getting frustrated or having a meltdown, but there are also so many reasons to WAIT for a
child’s response to daily situations. I often teach parents to pretend to “be clueless” to see how a child requests
food, a toy, or an enjoyable activity. WATCH closely how your child communicates with gestures, eye contact,
verbalizations, or movement. Then WONDER and problem solve how to help your child get to the next level.

SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –

Choose an activity your child enjoys and wants to do over and over again. Maybe he or she enjoys
swinging. At times, stop pushing the swing and watch how your child communicates to push some
more. Does he look at you? Does she grab your hand to push some more? Does he start to cry? Does
she make sounds or words? Simply waiting longer than you typically would gives your child a chance
to communicate what he needs. This week, slow down and wait to determine all the ways your child
tells you what she needs.

E
Examine your position.
Exaggerate and entice with your gestures
and voice to increase imitation.
When you want a child to talk, or pay attention, the first thing is to EXAMINE your position. For example, when you
are giving your child a snack, are you sitting at eye level with your child? Are you looking at him? Does he have
every benefit of hearing your words, seeing your gestures, or watching your mouth when you name the object?
Examining your position is important in virtually every daily routine with your child.

When you are talking to a child, how do you get her to pay attention to what you say? How do you entice her to
attempt imitation? I often encourage parents to EXAGGERATE with gestures and words so children are more
responsive to what you are saying and are ENTICED to imitate.

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 SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –
When giving your child snacks, explore different ways to offer them. Perhaps you can pretend the
snack is flying. Try making the snack hop across the table. As you make it hop, say “hop, hop, hop”
in an exciting way. Name the snack by exaggerating the sounds in the word. Observe how your child
responds. If he is watching you and amused by your actions and sounds, you are doing something
right! Keep thinking about ways to make your gestures and voice enticing.

C
Comment about what you and your
child are doing, seeing, and enjoying.
If your child isn’t ready to talk yet, you can still “stack the shelves” of your child’s mind with words. By commenting
about your child’s world, you’re putting words in his head, so he will understand thousands of words when he is
ready to say words. We often ask too many questions like, “What’s that?” Questions can be helpful at times, but
use them sparingly. Instead, stack your child’s shelves with the vocabulary in his world. Comment, comment,
comment!

SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –

For this week, while getting your child dressed, comment about what your child is doing. Name the
objects such as clothing names and body parts. Give him action words such as “pull your pants up,”
“push your arm through the hole,” and “put your leg in.”

A
Add singing throughout your day.
Children love and learn from music.
Singing a song can help a child with difficult transitions, with challenging daily routines, for imitation practice,
with learning new vocabulary, and so much more.

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I have had countless emails from people who have talked about how my songs have helped their child learn new
words, imitate, follow directions, and participate in group activities. Hans Christian Andersen once said, “Where
words fail, music speaks.” This statement is so true.

SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –

If you haven’t been singing to your child, choose one time during the day to sing with him or her. Try
singing the same song every day during a daily routine such as diaper changing time or while riding in
the car. You can choose any song such as Twinkle Little Star or any of our Talk It Rock It songs. Initially,
the song you choose is not important. As you learn more about the power of music, specific songs can
be used for more specific speech and language goals. Right now, simply experience the joy of singing
with your child.

N
Notice when your child initiates communication.
Respond and add to it.
This technique is especially important for the busy world we live in. Your child may be communicating more
often than you think. We may not notice him standing by a cupboard door, trying to open a box of cereal, giving
an object to you, laughing, or verbalizing his disappointment. We have so many distractions that compete for
our attention. Mindfulness and being present in the moment will help you notice your child’s communication
attempts no matter how small. Noticing is the first part but responding to your child’s attempts is crucial. You
can affirm your child’s attempts to communicate by looking at him, smiling, saying a word or phrase that’s related
to what he is doing. This may seem so obvious, but we can miss a lot of what children are telling us through body
language, gestures, facial expressions, and verbalizations.

SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –

During mealtime, be totally present in the moment. Commit to turning off the tv and putting your phone
on silent. Sit with your child, positioning yourself close enough to have good eye contact with her. Talk
about what she is doing and make comments. When she does or says anything, comment on what she
did and add some information to it.

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 T
Take turns talking, giving your child time to respond.
Keep it going.
I especially love to demonstrate taking turns while looking at picture books. I enjoy using gestures combined
with an enticing sound or word while pointing to a picture in a book. Then I wait and give that look of anticipation
to indicate it is my child’s turn to respond. I count to 5 or 10 under my breath before taking another turn. If the
child makes any attempt to respond, I count that as a turn and take another turn that combines gestures and
words or sounds.

Taking turns with any activity is the beginning of conversations. Even if the “turns” are rolling a ball back and
forth, this is considered turn taking. Keep these turns going. Try not to talk during your child’s turn. His turn is his
own even if he doesn’t make a sound.

SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –

Practice looking at a picture book, making a comment combined with a gesture. Then count to 5 or 10
under your breath and see what your child does. If your child responds in any way, take another turn.
Keep it going. Pay close attention to how your child responds. Add to what your child says or does
each time.

A
Ask questions to decrease frustration,
but use them cautiously.
As I mentioned earlier, we often ask too many questions. If a child cannot name objects, asking the question,
“What’s that?” will not be helpful. Although questions should be used sparingly, they can also be useful in keeping
children regulated. When children are frustrated and cannot say what they want, a simple yes/no question can
calm a child. Also giving simple choice questions such as, “Do you want this red cup or this blue cup?” can give
a child power over his world. With a question, you can determine what your child is trying to say. Then you can
help your child get to the next level by teaching him to gesture, sign the word, reach for the object, or imitate a
sound or word.

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 SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –
When getting your child dressed this week, give numerous choice questions for what he wants to wear.
Say something like, “Which socks do you want, red or blue?” “What should we put on first, your shirt or
pants?” When giving choice questions, children may attempt to say one of the words that you say. If
she doesn’t try to say one of the words, show your child the choices and wait for her to point to or reach
for the object she wants. When she chooses, that is the opportunity to say the word in an enticing way.

L
Laugh a lot! Laughing together is
a great way to get talking started
You can never force children to talk, but you can usually figure out ways to make them laugh. I always ask a
parent what makes their child laugh. What activities does he enjoy? Laughter IS VERBALIZING. Those sounds
can be shaped into vowel sounds. Respond to your child’s laughter by imitating the sounds, perhaps changing
the sounds to vowels like “ee ee ee, ah ah ah.”
Any activity that creates laughter (an exception is tickling which is discouraged) is something your child will
want to continue over and over. Take advantage of those activities by using the tips of Waiting and Enticing with
gestures and sounds to keep the activity going.

SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –

Write a list of activities that makes your child laugh. With each activity, think of ways that you can
wait for your child to indicate that he wants the activity to continue. Use and practice all of the other
techniques in WE CAN TALK with these enjoyable “laughter” activities.

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 K
Keep books handy.
Your child needs a daily dose of reading.
Children who are read to are more prepared for school and are more successful readers. It’s true that getting
some children interested in books is a challenge. Initially, looking at books doesn’t have to involve reading a
story. Quite to the contrary, looking at the pictures, making gestures, sounds, or words related to the pictures,
and then waiting for your child to respond may help your child engage with a book more than listening to a story.
Stories that have rhyming or can be sung may be the type of book that will help him be more attentive. There is
so much to say about books and helping children develop a love for books that we can’t cover it all here. Commit
to reading every day to your child.

SUGGESTION FOR THE WEEK –

Attempt to look at books each day with your child. If he is not interested, start with a photo book of
your family or of your child doing many daily activities. When looking at books, think about the other
tips in WE CAN TALK. Experiment with each of them and see what keeps a child attentive, imitative, or
responsive in other ways.

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 To Learn More About WE CAN TALK Techniques….
I’m always thrilled to hear from fellow speech-language pathologists and
parents about my products including WE CAN TALK.

“WE CAN TALK not only provides great techniques for parents, but also for professionals in speech-
language pathology and special education. WE CAN TALK techniques are easy to implement into
therapy sessions.”
Rebecca Simmons, M.S., Speech-Language Pathologist

Dear Rachel,
You taught me so many amazing skills, and they have definitely had a wonderful impact on my child’s
life. I feel like I understand how to get the most out of the interactions I have with her. Like most
parents I want to feel connected to my child, and there is no doubt I learned the means to make this
possible while I was working with you. I describe it to others by telling them it is like I had a child
born to me that spoke another language, and you were the person who taught me how to speak her
language. The word “coach” seems so perfect!

It would be like me trying to save my child from drowning, if I could not swim either. You were my life
vest. You taught me how to get through this stuff and how to see the bright side. You reminded me
that there is so much hope for my little girl. When we met you, I felt like I was sinking fast in a sea of
information, and throughout our year together, I learned the necessary things to get my child and me
both out of the water safely!

I am confident in my ability to be the best mommy I can be for my daughter. I will simply say thank
you for teaching me how to communicate with her. Thank you for showing me so many fun things to
do with her to get her to connect with me. Thank you for helping me feel confident about the care I
give her, and thank you for always taking the extra time we needed and wanted from you during our
sessions. We will never forget the difference you made in our family!

Sincerely,
Heidi Segedy

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There is so much more to each WE CAN TALK technique that can help you and your child. This
guide is just the beginning of the learning and coaching opportunities open to parents and
professionals about using these successful techniques. The methods are further discussed
in videos and my book, WE CAN TALK. If you are interested in learning more, please visit
my website www.talkitrockit.com to check out WE CAN TALK and many of my other books,
songs, movies, and speech and language tools.

Best wishes to you.

Rachel Arntson, M.S., CCC-Speech-Language Pathologist

Owner, Talk It Rock It, LLC

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