Add Java 17 names for XML implementation props

[jcflack]

Java 17 adds (and prominently documents in the java.xml module-info javadocs), new, standardized, easy-to-remember names for a dozen or so of the XML implementation-specific properties and features.

And the standardized names are ... different from the old ones.

More names to feed into setFirstSupported{Feature,Property} when trying to adjust things.

The naming headaches are now visible outside of just the implementation module, because there are new standardized names for a Transformer property and feature also, which are used in the XSLT example code in PassXML.

So this is a good time to factor a setFirstSupported(...) generic function out of the various copies buried in SQLXMLImpl, and expose it in the Adjusting.XML API so client code can use it too, and use it that way in that example.

The Adjusting.XML API was added in some haste, and it used to say "the adjusting methods are best-effort and do not provide an indication of whether the requested adjustment was made". In fact it was pushed with some debug code doing exception stacktraces to standard error, which may have been an annoyance at any site that was using the feature heavily.

Take this opportunity to do something more systematic, and add a lax(boolean) method allowing it to be tailored. Stacktraces will still be logged if no tailoring is done, but may be more concise, as all of the exceptions that might be encountered in a chain of adjustments will be chained together with addSuppressed(), and common stacktrace elements should be elided when those are logged.

In passing, copyedit some Adjusting.XML javadoc to use styleguide-favored third-person rather than second-person phrasing.