Start meaningful conversations: exploring questions about end of life with our cards

Talking about death, dying and bereavement isn't easy. Finding a way in to conversations about end of life and having open, honest discussions about your wishes, and those of your family and friends, can feel daunting and difficult.

People are often reluctant to discuss what can be viewed as 'morbid' topics, such as what they want for their funeral, but without facing this discomfort it's all too easy to miss out on being able to fulfil the wishes of the people we care about.

That's why Marie Curie developed our Conversation Cards – a full deck of 52 playing cards that you can play with as your would any other deck of cards, available to order from our online shop  .

The difference with our deck is that each of our cards comes with a poignant, thought-provoking question that'll encourage you to plan and prepare for the end of your life. You might discover things you didn't know about someone you're close to, or just feel more able to firm up plans for when the time comes.

There's no right or wrong way to use the cards. We've left how you use them completely up to you and you can ask the questions whenever it feels appropriate. Perhaps you'll work through them one-by-one, or pick out questions at random to get you talking. We've designed the cards to leave you with a better sense of the values, beliefs and preferences of the person you're talking to. 

However you choose to use them, we hope the questions will initiate the useful, informative discussions you might otherwise avoid. You'll be encouraged to consider various scenarios and choices, such as whether you'd want mourners to wear black at your funeral  , and open up profound discussions about what feels right for you. All of this is possible within a safe and supportive environment, where you and your loved ones are able to share your thoughts, emotions and ideas. 

The cards will allow you to break the ice and reduce that tension that people can have around matters of life and death. We've heard from people who've used them that they've been able to nail down details about the preferences of friends and family members that they'd previously had little or no knowledge of.

These cards give you the opportunity to give voice to your wishes, but also to really listen and get to know the person you're in conversation with on a deeper level. Creating a safe space is key to the success of these cards – so if your loved one wants to be buried in a mushroom suit   or their ashes sent up in rocket  , please try not to judge.

We're all entitled to our own individual perspectives, especially around a topic as emotive as end of life, and with these cards, we all have a chance to share those thoughts, ideas and wishes. 

Some questions are harder than others. If you or a loved one are dealing with end of life or bereavement, Marie Curie is here to listen and help. Call our Support Line on 0800 090 2309* for practical or clinical information and emotional support, or visit mariecurie.org.uk/support   to find out more.

*Calls are free from landlines and mobile phones. Your call may be recorded for quality and training purposes.