PLATELL'S PEOPLE: Hiding her baby's face makes me ask... Who DOES Princess Beatrice think she is?

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After Princess Beatrice released the first and only 'official' picture of her 'tiny and absolutely perfect' baby Athena Elizabeth Rose, I thought how sweet.

But then I thought how peculiar. Given the baby's so perfect, why has Mum ensured the infant's face is completely obscured?

Why such secrecy over a lovely little newborn who, frankly, looks pretty much like any other? How absurd to try to hide Athena's identity when no one would recognise her again even after just five minutes.

Is Bea trying to milk her royal cachet, saying my baby's far too important for you plebs to know what she looks like? What an insult to our intelligence!

It was announced that Athena's second name, Elizabeth, was after the late Queen. It's said her third name, Rose, is in honour of Princess Margaret whose second name it was. How grand is that?

Trouble is this whole approach plays into a deeply unattractive sense of entitlement and privilege – of us and them. Unsurprisingly it was Meghan who broke with the tradition of royal mothers parading their new babies.

Remember the official picture of her holding newborn Archie with the late Queen and Prince Philip, his face entirely obscured by a blanket?

The late Queen showed us her babies, so did Diana and Kate. And we all loved seeing them.

Pictured: Princess Beatrice's baby Athena Elizabeth Rose who was born this week 

Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi pictured together at the Cheltenham Festival in March last year 

If it's safe enough for real working royals like them, surely it's fine for the also-rans like Beatrice to follow suit.

By pretentiously disguising the little one in the way she did, Beatrice undermines that unspoken contract between the Royal Family and the people.

And leaves us feeling who the hell does she think she is?

Frock star Renee 

A nice touch that, for the premiere of the new Bridget Jones movie, Renee Zellweger, 55, wore a vintage couture gown she first donned in 2000. 

She looked no older than when the first movie came out the following year.

Renee Zellweger attends the 'Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy' World Premiere at the Odeon Luxe Leicester Square on January 29

Meanwhile her co-star Hugh Grant looks every inch of his 64 years, still handsome despite the wrinkles. 

If Renee let her hair go grey, got a bit flabby and sacked her Mr Tweakments, she'd never work in Hollywood again.

Sussexes sent up!

Meghan and Harry were mocked as Netflix launched its 2025 season. 

Her new series With Love, Meghan was eclipsed by Victoria Beckham and Barack Obama documentaries. 

Comedian John Mulaney said of his own show: 'This is a really fun experiment. Not since Harry and Meghan has Netflix given more money to someone without a specific plan.' 

Some comfort for the Sussexes that they weren't there to witness the ridicule. Maybe they weren't invited!

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, in a scene from her series 'With Love, Meghan'

David, 49, still has Becks appeal

Women can only dream of coming across David Beckham, 49, spread-legged and lounging in a chair while advertising skin-tight undies for Boss with his perfect six-pack. 

He had the perfect tackle on the pitch and the new ad shows Goldenballs has still got it. Pass the smelling salts!

David Beckham, 49, is seen spread-legged and lounging in a chair while advertising skin-tight undies for Boss with his perfect six-pack

Following his revolting sexual comment about 'spit-roasting' Strictly presenter Janette Manrara, Wynne Evans has been removed from the live tour, stood down from his BBC radio show – and his Go Compare contract is being reviewed. 

Friends say he 'is in a bad place and fears his entire career is over'. Yes it was offensive but should he be cancelled having made a full apology? He's hardly Harvey Weinstein.

Wynne Evans is seen taking part in the Strictly Come Dancing live tour 

The 'yes, yes, yes!' fake orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally has been remade by Meg Ryan, 63, and Billy Crystal, 76, for an ad. 

This time Megs, aka Sally, is orgasmic after adding Hellmann's mayonnaise to a sandwich. Sad really, that a squirt of mayo is the most fun a woman in her 60s can look forward to

A top prison officer says Southport child killer Axel Rudakubana – now beginning his 52-year sentence – will have a target on his back for life and other prisoners will try to kill him for fun. Jolly good. May he never rest in peace. 

Former Royal Ballet School dancer Ellen Elphick reaches a financial settlement with the organisation, which neither apologised nor accepted liability, after she claimed she was 'body-shamed' between 2009 and 2012 for having thighs and buttocks that were 'too big'. 

It caused her anorexia and lifelong psychological damage, she said. Must have been awful for her but surely part of the job description for a ballerina is that they have to be slim and a certain body shape. Who'd pay to go and watch Duck Lake?

Westminster wars

- No need for me to opine on how woeful Rachel Reeves' economic growth-speech was – I'll leave that to the Leftie Guardian. It said, 'In Labour's hands, big ideas always end up looking small...' and 'instead of marching boldly forward, Labour lurches from defensive crouch to arm-waving frenzy and back again'.

- Elsewhere a headline read 'The One With Rachel Boring for Britain has her losing friends and enemies alike'. It was followed by 'A speech lasting 48 minutes felt like an act of cruelty…'

Chancellor Rachel Reeves during a business meeting with Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer and top executives from some of Britain's major businesses in central London

- Then an article declared the speech was 'without imagination, compassion or moral purpose'. See? I couldn't have put it better myself!

If it's a worthy cause you want to put a few quid behind, look no further than Jacob Fallows, three and with cerebral palsy.

He's running 500m of his school playground every day on his walker to raise money to help other children with disabilities who go to Vranch House and Bow Bears pre-school in Devon.

If all of us sent just the cost of a takeaway pizza to this brave little lad's charity...

Jacob Fallows, who has cerebral palsy, is running 500m of his school playground everyday 

With hits such as As Tears Go By and It's All Over, Baby Blue, Marianne Faithfull, the Sixties pop icon and former girlfriend of Mick Jagger, has died aged 78. Expect a surge in sales of Mars bars sales in tribute.

Marianne Faithfull, the Sixties pop icon and former girlfriend of Mick Jagger, died aged 78

Who's the real mug Emma 

Dopey mug maker Emma Rothwell was the first to be fired from The Apprentice, defiantly claiming after her humiliating exit that with her product design degree she'll make a success of her customised mug-selling business.

'In a few years the headlines will be, 'I was voted off first but I'm making millions', ' she cried. Emma Bridgewater must be quaking in her boots.