JANA'S SEALED SECTION: Shattered women reveal how they discovered their 'straight' husbands and boyfriends were cheating with other MEN - and it happens all the time
Sit down, pour yourself a wine, and buckle up, because this is one topic guaranteed to raise eyebrows - and perhaps even make you question just how 'straight' you are.
You see, I was chatting with my loyal followers on Instagram the other day when I discovered a recurring theme: the sheer number of straight-identifying men who have dilly-dallied with other blokes on the sly - and the women in their lives have no idea.
Each week, I invite my lovely circle on social media to share their 'saucy secrets' (you may have read some of them in my Sunday column) and, like clockwork, I have men flooding my inbox with tales of hooking up with male colleagues, teammates, their sister's gay friend - the list goes on.
One man, who looks like the dictionary definition of a red-blooded heterosexual, told me he let another fella give him a blowjob at a wedding just last month. Like it wasn't a big deal!
But for every 'I'm not gay but…' story, there are wives and girlfriends who would no doubt be shocked to learn what their men are secretly getting up to. So I decided to reach out to them for stories of how they found out their husbands and boyfriends were secretly playing the field... with other men.
While sexuality is a spectrum (it's almost 2025, people!) women are, understandably, pretty devastated to learn their menfolk aren't as loyal - or straight - as they had been led to believe. Some of their stories are heartbreaking.
So, today, I'm sharing some of these wild tales for Mail+ readers. Names have been changed for obvious reasons.
Sophie, 29: 'It started with a bank statement.'
Jana first came to the realisation that there are many 'straight' men who have dilly-dallied with other blokes when she started asking people to share their saucy secrets
'I always thought my boyfriend Nick was the alpha type – gym rat, loves sport, you know the type. But I started noticing something off. He was unusually distant, and then one night, I found a bank statement with charges from a very *specific* gay bar in Sydney.
'When I asked him about it, he denied it was anything. Then, two months later, I found his messages on Snapchat with another guy. Explicit messages. I felt like the floor had been pulled out from under me.'
Sophie says that after confronting him, Nick broke down and admitted he'd been experimenting with his sexuality.
'I wasn't angry that he was bi-curious. I was hurt because he didn't tell me. I felt like I didn't know him anymore.'
Laura, 35: 'His browser history said it all.'
Laura had been married for seven years when the truth about her husband came out in the most clichéd way possible.
'It was 2am. He was snoring beside me, and I needed to check flights on the laptop for our holiday. Up popped a tab for a gay dating website. I was frozen. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
'The next day, I asked him directly, and he just sighed and said, "Sometimes I look. I don't act on it. I'm not gay."'
For every 'I'm not gay but…' story, there are wives and girlfriends who are shocked to learn what their men are secretly getting up to. So I decided to reach out to them (stock image)
Laura ended up seeking counselling for herself to process what it all meant.
'I wasn't upset because he was looking at men. I was upset because I wondered: Did he ever want me? Was I enough? It's been two years, and I still don't have all the answers.'
Stephanie, 32: 'He gets off on receiving d*** pics'
'I found out my partner had downloaded Grindr - a dating app for gay men - by checking his phone. When I confronted him about it, he claimed he'd never been with a guy but gets off on receiving d*** pics from other men. I call BS on that.
'I also noticed he had WhatsApp installed, and I suspect he's been directly messaging men there too, but his account is password-protected, so I can't confirm. He seemed really upset when I confronted him and confessed to sending photos and videos.
'I'm still with him, but I can't stop thinking about that app and what else he might be hiding.'
Maisie, 53: 'I found the love letters.'
Maisie's story takes the cake for sheer drama.
'We were moving house, and I was sorting through boxes in the garage. That's when I found them: old love letters. At first, I smiled, thinking they were mine. Then I realised they were from another man.
'The letters were from a colleague he used to travel with for work. They were romantic, intimate, and written over years. I felt sick reading them.
'When I confronted him, he admitted to an affair. He said he wasn't gay but had a "connection" with this man that he couldn't explain. To this day, I don't know if it was love, lust, or a little of both. We're separated now, and I'm still picking up the pieces.'
One woman told Jana, 'The betrayal wasn't the sex. It was the lying. If he'd been honest, I'd have at least understood'
So why are so many men ashamed to be out and proud with their sexuality?
Chatting to a therapist friend, he told me: 'The reality is that many people suppress their true selves when they fear society won't accept them.
'For men, the pressure to conform to traditional roles – straight, married, a father – can feel expected. Over time, that suppression builds tension, and in some cases, it leads to actions or revelations that shock their partners.'
He continued: 'Sexuality is complex and far from linear. Curiosity doesn't magically vanish just because someone says, "I do".
'For some, these hidden feelings or experiences bubble to the surface later in life, leaving their partners to grapple with what it means for their relationship and sense of trust.'
Wouldn't it be glorious if everyone just felt comfortable to live their truths? Because I for one, couldn't give a hoot where anyone sits on the spectrum of sexuality.
But what does it mean for relationships? As one woman told me: 'The betrayal wasn't the sex. It was the lying. If he'd been honest, I'd have at least understood.'
The truth is, relationships are messy, people are curious, and modern love is anything but straightforward. If you think your man might swing both ways, why not do what I did with an old ex? I took him to a bar, bought him a shot of tequila and just asked him directly.
He was shocked and denied it, but at least I let him know that if he ever did want to explore that side of himself, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Nobody should be stuck in a closet they don't want to be in.
So cheers to the wild, complicated and ever-surprising world of modern relationships. Who needs a rom-com when you've got real life?
