PLATELL'S PEOPLE: Why are 007 and his girls such whingers?

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No sooner had James Bond blasted his way back onto the big screen than former 007 squeeze Honor Blackman demanded we desist from patronising his female co-stars like her.

‘Stop calling us Bond girls,’ she cried, ‘we are women and actresses.’

Oh, please! Bond girls they are, no matter what their vintage. Always have been. Always will be.

Besides, what did Honor think when she took the part as Pussy Galore? That she’d be playing a suffragette dressed in a hessian sack?

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No sooner had James Bond blasted his way back onto the big screen (the cast are shown right) than former 007 squeeze Honor Blackman (left) demanded we desist from patronising his female co-stars like her

Her not wanting to be called a Bond girl is like taking a job at the Playboy mansion and demanding not to be called a Bunny Girl.

Yet sadly, Honor’s not the only one to whinge about the part that made her famous. Step forward Daniel Craig, who despite being the highest-paid Bond ever, set to earn an estimated £39 million for his latest outing, has spent much of his time in the build-up to the release of Spectre bad-mouthing the part that’s set him up for life.

When not busy blasting Bond for being ‘misogynistic, sexist and very lonely’ he was telling interviewers that he’d rather slit his wrists than do another 007 film. ‘I’m over it at the moment,’ said Craig. ‘We’re done. All I want to do is move on.’

Such ingratitude is as irritating as it is unattractive. Which may help explain why Craig yesterday sought to distance himself from his remarks, saying he was tired after working for two years on the film, but is now considering doing two more outings in the white tuxedo. Which is a great relief, because he is still a damn fine 007.

I’ve seen Spectre and it’s everything you want a Bond movie to be — a riotous celebration of so much that we’re not supposed to say or think in this politically correct age.

What does Spectre do to advance gender equality? Zilch. To counter ageism or sexism? Zip. (For all the fuss about having the oldest Bond girl ever in Monica Bellucci, 51, she’s only on screen for about three minutes: Wham, bam, goodbye Ma’am.)

As for Bond, he still has the worst chat-up lines, he drinks too much and is gratuitously violent. In our enlightened times, women should hate him, and men should disapprove. Yet he’s still the man men want to be — and women want to be with. No amount of social engineering can change that.

How sad, then, that the only people who seem to sneer at his enduring appeal are the ones who owe their whole careers to him.

SADLY, WE CAN'T ALL BE BRAVE AND INSPIRATIONAL LIKE VICTORIA 

Returning to work less than a month after having a mastectomy, Victoria Derbyshire, right, is an inspiration not just to those with breast cancer, but to anyone with a serious illness.

Hope is the greatest companion during such times, and her courage — filming her treatment to be shown on TV — was awesome to behold.

Yet I think we should also spare a thought for others with cancer who may not be as strong as Victoria, nor as supported by family and friends.

Not everyone will be back to normal life in a short time and no one should feel that if they can’t make such a speedy recovery that somehow they’ve failed.

As Victoria said, everyone’s experience of cancer is different — and hers was honestly and bravely told.

But I hope she knows also that no one will think less of her if, in a few weeks, the lure of her family and her home proves greater than the studio for a while.

Meerkats 1, Nicole nil

Meerkat forces: Nicole's doing a TV advert

Sad to see Nicole Kidman reduced to doing TV adverts for the insurance firm Compare The Market. Mind you, seeing her improbably taut face, it was hard to tell which was the most unrealistic: her or the talking meerkats. 

The BBC billed The Last Kingdom as the new Game Of Thrones. But as the Mail’s TV critic Christopher Stevens said, it was so dark you could hardly see anything. And where was the sex? Game Of Thrones’s secret is that grown men can goggle at bare-beasted maidens while pretending it’s great drama.   

A right mess, Holmes  

The TV series Sherlock is the jewel in the crown of a joint investment between the BBC and China’s state broadcaster to promote Britain’s most popular shows.

The new 90-minute Sherlock special will be shown in cinemas through-out China. This will put its multi-millionaire star, Benedict Cumberbatch, in a difficult position as he tirelessly campaigns for human rights.

No sign yet that he is going to resign in protest. A curious case indeed, Mr Holmes.

Maureen Lipman had a bust-up with a nail bar after it botched some acrylic nails. She stormed out, and police were called. Calm down, dear. The girls in such places earn a pittance dealing with wealthy women who often treat them with contempt. Graciousness from a great lady would not have gone amiss. 

The singer Seal has sold 20 million albums and is busy promoting his new one about heartbreak. When asked if it was based on his ex-wife, Heidi Klum, he refused to comment and said it was ‘an aggregate of all romance distilled into art’ and that he wanted his fans to experience the feeling that ‘when a relationship fails it’s like the third act of a Chekhov play’.

Oh for the days when pop stars just smashed up hotel rooms to get attention.

The X Factor judge Cheryl Whatshername says doing the job is so stressful it makes her ill. Her problem, she says, is that she’s too sensitive, ‘like a sponge’. Yes, and just as lightweight, brainless and drippy.  

Banish the sugar fiends 

I so admire Jamie Oliver’s passionate campaign to bring in a sugar tax to fight obesity.

His reward? Abuse by internet trolls, attacks from the food giants and sneering dismissal by politicians.

Just a thought on his proposed tax, though. Smoking didn’t fall significantly when tobacco taxes were ramped up.

What really made a difference was banning smoking in pubs and bars.

Perhaps we should force everyone guzzling a fizzy drink to stand outside in the drizzle like smokers. That might do the trick. 

Kate Winslet says her 11-year-old son Joe (pictured with her) is her great support and solace, even rubbing her feet when she’s stressed.

‘If I’m frustrated about something, he will often say to me: “Mum, it’s fine, Calm down. None of this matters.” ’

A bit worrying when a child becomes the comforter.   

The callous clinic 

Those wary of an assisted dying law — and I am — will have been shocked to hear the story of Simon and Debbie Binner.

He had aggressive motor neurone disease and wanted to die. His wife found the idea ‘abhorrent’ and wanted to care for him at home.

When Debbie reluctantly accompanied him to an assisted dying clinic in Basel, the woman who ran it said: ‘Do you want Simon to stay alive so you can have a human pet?’

How unspeakably callous to compare a human life with that of a dog.  

Westminster Noticeboard... 

• When Tom Watson finally aplogised to Leon Brittan’s widow, he said: ‘I do regret using the emotive language, I shouldn’t have done and I am sincerely sorry for the hurt caused by repeating that phrase.’ Oddly reminiscent of John McDonnell’s apology over supporting the IRA: ‘I think my choice of words were wrong. I accept it was a mistake to use those words.’ Straight out of the Trots’ book of non-apology apologies — say sorry for the words but never the actual offence.
• Around 200 MPs, peers and their staff are so stressed they’re taking ‘mindfulness’ meditation classes. Can you imagine Winston, Maggie or indeed any great leader needing whale music and breathing classes to cope with the stresses of office? A stiff whisky was all the support they needed.
• The newly launched Women’s Equality Party wants to scrap the married tax allowance for around four million wives. Typical of today’s feminists. They’re all for supporting women. Provided it’s women just like them.

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