How to tell if they REALLY like their Christmas present: Tell-tale signs that reveal if they love it, loathe it... or they’re just going to eBay it
- 59% of people are steeling themselves to feign delight over unwanted gifts
- Top psychologist reveals the signs that show if a gift is loved or hated
- The good news for those faking it is that lying is quite hard to detect
Tis the season to be jolly – but not if you receive a Christmas present that, with the best will in the world, you don’t really like.
It’s also not much fun giving someone a present and suspecting that they’re not overly keen on it.
But just how do you tell if someone genuinely likes their gift, or is masking disappointment?
MailOnline met Dr Simon Moore, a chartered psychologist with the British Psychological Society, to discover the verbal and physical signs that reveal what people really think of their present.
A survey by eBay revealed that 59% of people are steeling themselves to feign delight if they unwrap presents they don’t want this today .The good news for those worried about their acting skills, said Dr Moore, is that spotting fake happiness is quite hard, with the detection rate for the average person being around 40 to 50 per cent.
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Psychologist Dr Simon Moore has revealed the signs that someone is feigning delight at your present
A select few, he says, will be able to correctly see through around seven or eight out of 10 attempts to fake joy.
The trick to up your detection rate, said Dr Moore, is never to look for one or two signals, but a cluster of them.
And here are the major clues:
THE FACE FREEZES
The first signs of feigning delight occur as the present is pulled out of the box, according to Dr Moore – and it’s a momentary facial freeze as the receiver tries to work out how they’re going to pull the wool over the eyes of the giver.
Dr Moore said: ‘It’s the microseconds of you trying to find that template – if you want to be happy, it’s you trying to work out what you need to look like.
‘If you’re good, you’ll pick up on those things. It’s very quick. It happens over a few hundredths of a second. The quick search you do when you need to project happiness. It’s like a car going into neutral, then all of a sudden you find the gear. You’ve got to find that gear. If you’re tuned into it, you’ll pick it up.’
AGITATION
Going on the fake produces agitation, Dr Moore explained, because when we’re stressed we produced energy that needs to be dissipated. This can manifest itself in a variety of ways.
Dr Moore said: ‘Liars tend to do tapping kind of behaviour. They’ll tap their feet, they’ll shake their leg – like a rattlesnake.
‘If the person is trying to think how to feign delight, they’ll start getting agitated. So you either sit dead still, because you’re trying to control yourself. For example, you’ll see celebrities on TV sitting dead straight while they’re getting quizzed. It’s a sure sign that they’re trying to control their non-verbal signs.
‘They’ve been trained. They’ve been told not to move in case they give something away. Or if they sit slightly on the side. That’s another clue.
‘If you want to protest that you’re telling the truth you’re animated, you’re bothered about it, you’re engaged. But it’s a different kind of animation.’
Happy days: Some of the signs that someone does actually like your gift
TOUCHING THE FACE AND SHAKING THE HEAD
Those in the lying game often touch their face a bit more as they push their deception.
It’s a way of smothering the parts of our face we think are going to give the game away.
Dr Moore said: ‘You’ll perhaps touch the face a bit more. What you’re subconsciously trying to do is hide your mouth and eyes.
He added: ‘And liars will make non-verbal mistakes along the lines of saying “yes”, but shake their head at the same time.’
LEAN MACHINE
According to Dr Moore, we move towards things we like, and away from those that we don’t. And stand on our toes if we’re displeased.
‘If you lean away, that’s usually a sign,’ he said. ‘If we don’t like something we tend to stand on the tops of our feet, on tip-toe. So if they’re sitting down they’ll lean back.’
SMILES BETTER
If the receiver of the gift is faking it, the smile could give the game away too.
‘If you think you’re doing well you get what we call the smug smile which says “I’m getting away with this”,’ said Dr Moore. ‘It’s not a natural smile. It’s a half smile.’
A survey by eBay revealed that 59% of people are steeling themselves to feign delight if they unwrap presents they don’t want this today
ON THE BLINK
Keep an eye on fluttering eyelids, if you want to root out deception.
Dr Moore said: ‘There’s also some research to suggest that if you’re lying, your blink rate decreases. And then afterwards you blink more. It’s almost like relief. But that’s contentious. There’s debate about that one.’
PITCHING IN
You’ll need to keep your eyes and ears open to home in on bluffing, because those doing it speak a lot more and at a higher pitch.
Dr Moore said: ‘The tone of your voice will go up in pitch if you’re not being truthful. It’s a strain thing. You get these layer effects. You’re thinking “what have I got to look like?”, “what have I got to say?” It’s a lot of things to deal with in your mind. And you can’t practice it. And you’ve got to do it live. One take.
‘Some people over-compensate and say “oh, it’s fantastic!” That can denote that someone’s faking it. It’s almost as if they’re trying to convince themselves.
‘They talk longer. So they actually fill up sentences longer.’
There are a number of reasons for this, according to Dr Moore. And one is to stop protest in its tracks.
He said: ‘There are two methods of psychological persuasion. There’s facts and figures, but 80 per cent of people are persuaded by peripheral cues, like how attractive someone is, how knowledgeable we think they are, what’s their status, do we like them…
‘So if you talk fast it does two things. One it suggests you know a lot about it, secondly, if I’m talking, you can’t talk, so you can’t protest. And if I give you lots of information, your brain can’t defend against it. So if someone doesn’t like something they might talk a lot about it. Partly because they’re energised, partly because they’re trying to convince you that they like it.’
EYE EYE
Finally, watch for a tiny crease appearing between the eye.
‘That’s a sign they’re not happy,’ added Dr Moore.
SIGNS THAT YOU’VE GOT IT RIGHT
It’s much easier to tell if someone is happy. For instance, if they give you a hug and a kiss, you’ve done something right.
There are a few other signs, though.
Dr Moore said: ‘Their eyes will light up and there will be a natural smile. Their eyebrows will probably go up. They won’t say much. They won’t need to say much. So they might say “oh this is great, thanks”. And that’s all they need to say. Natural stuff is quick and short. They will lean forward, look a little bit animated. And the voice will more or less stay the same.’
If you're still not sure either way, look out for someone making a steeple with their hands, said Dr Moore, that's often a sign of honesty.
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