Devastated mother reveals heartache of giving birth to her stillborn son whose heart stopped beating in the womb - and her joy at having 'miracle' twins a year later

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After Zoe Bailey's son Stanley was born and he was placed on his mother's chest, Zoe stared at her baby's delicate fingers, a similar shape to her own, and the chubby cheeks he had inherited from his father. 

Her eyes lingered on his tufts of dark brown hair and the fragility of his 7lb body in its brand new pale blue romper suit.

Yet what should have been the happiest moment of Zoe's life was the hardest because Stanley was stillborn. 

Zoe and husband Wayne on their wedding day with twins Charlie and Jasmine. 'Losing Stanley was as surreal as it was horrific,' says Zoe, 27. 'I screamed when I learned his heart had stopped and as I held him I felt numb'

Zoe Bailey's son Stanley stopped kicking four days after his due date. Zoe, 27, above pregnant with Stanley in 2010, travelled to the hospital with her partner Wayne, 32, only to be told her baby's heart had stopped beating

Having carried her son for nine months his heart stopped beating, meaning Zoe went through the agony of labour knowing there would be no baby to bring home at the end of it – only a body to take to the hospital morgue.

'Losing Stanley was as surreal as it was horrific,' says Zoe, 27. 'I screamed when I learned his heart had stopped and as I held him I felt numb with grief. 

'Just because he died before he was born doesn't make him any less of my child and there will never be a day I don't long for the baby I lost.'

This week saw TV soap Hollyoaks screen a dramatic storyline in which Mercedes McQueen - played by Jennifer Metcalfe - has a stillbirth.

The programme has been advised by pregnancy and stillbirth charity Count The Kicks which yesterday launched a campaign to encourage better awareness among mothers-to-be of their babies' movements.

By doing so 'mums to be can help to take control of their pregnancy and spot danger signs when they arise,' says the charity's CEO Elizabeth Hutton. 'If they become aware of any changes in their baby's movement pattern they should speak to a healthcare professional as soon as possible.'

Zoe, an insurance claims handler, and Wayne, 32, a self-employed glazier, from Haverhill, Suffolk, were delighted when they discovered they were expecting their first baby in April 2010. 

Zoe's children, Charlie and Jasmine, stand at their big brother's grave after leaving toys and flowers for him

When they learned it was a boy they named him Stanley, after Wayne's grandfather. 'We decorated the nursery with a Winnie the Pooh theme and bought baby grows and toys,' says Zoe. 'Every day I'd excitedly watch my bump grow.'

At 25 weeks pregnant Zoe was told she had Strep B – an infection that can lead to miscarriage or premature labour - but Zoe was given antibiotics and her pregnancy continued to progress smoothly. 

'It never occurred to me that I wouldn't end up with a healthy baby at the end of it,' says Zoe. 'Stanley was an active baby, kicking often. As my due date passed I felt impatient with anticipation. I kept rubbing my bump and telling Stanley I couldn't wait to meet him.'

Zoe was told she ha Strep B – an infection that can lead to miscarriage or premature labour - while pregnant with Stanley, whose tiny hand a footprint are pictured above, but was given antibiotics and recovered

But one morning four days after her due date Zoe realised she couldn't feel Stanley kick. 'At first, naively, I assumed he was sleeping,' says Zoe. 

But she called midwives at West Suffolk Hospital in Bury St Edmonds who told her to come into the maternity ward. 'Wayne and I drove in silence as Stanley still wasn't kicking and panic set in,' she says.

Zoe was rushed to the hospital's scanning suite where a consultant gently told her there was no heartbeat. 'I screamed,' says Zoe. 

'I tried to stand and my legs buckled. I made the consultant show me the scan. I saw my baby's perfect fingers and toes and howled in shock and horror. I was too numb and heartbroken to speak - it was left to Wayne to tell our families.'

Zoe was given a tablet to swallow to help induce labour, and then sent home to wait. 'I shut Stanley's nursery door - I couldn't stand anyone to see inside. In denial, I kept rubbing my bump forgetting Stanley had died and woke in the night convinced I could feel him kicking.'

Zoe and Wayne, visiting Stanley's grave on the day of their wedding above, played Eva Cassidy's Somewhere Over the Rainbow at his funeral, burying him with a blanket, a St Christopher necklace and a rattle

A report into Stanley's death said the Strep B might have infected Zoe's placenta and caused the stillbirth

Two days later, when labour still hadn't started, Zoe went back to hospital where she was given pessaries which finally started labour. 

An hour later her contractions started, her agony compounded by fear. 'The midwives were amazing, but I knew all around me women were having healthy babies and I was so frightened to see mine,' she says.

Stanley was born at 3.05pm on 31st January. After the midwives dressed him with an outfit Zoe had chosen he was placed on her chest. 'He was the spitting image of Wayne, with the same slender hands as me,' says Zoe. 'He was beautiful and just looked like he was asleep. But all I felt was numb and frightened.'

After being taken to the chapel of rest to be blessed Stanley was taken to the hospital morgue. A report into his death said the Strep B might have infected Zoe's placenta and caused the stillbirth, but doctors couldn't be certain.

Zoe, now a mother to Charlie and Jasmine right, is urging mothers-to-be to seek help if something feels wrong

When Zoe found out she was expecting twins Charlie and Jasmine she felt that they were a miracle sent by Stanley but her pregnancy was overshadowed by anxiety and grief

Zoe's body, meanwhile, was a cruel reminder of the nightmare she'd endured. 'I had all the symptoms of new motherhood but no baby. Back home I was bleeding and my breasts swollen. Three days later my milk came in. Having no baby to give it to was horrific.'

Stanley's funeral was held on February 9th. He was carried into Horse Heath Church in Haverhill to Eva Cassidy's Somewhere Over the Rainbow and buried with a blanket his nanny had knitted, a St Christopher necklace and a rattle. 

'Afterwards I put on a front,' says Zoe. 'But I remember being congratulated by an acquaintance in town who asked where my baby was. I froze and ran away.'

That September she discovered she was pregnant with twins: 'It felt like my two babies were a miracle sent by Stanley.' Although she was monitored carefully her pregnancy was overshadowed by anxiety. 'I was still grieving and constantly felt as if they could die suddenly too,' she says.

But Charlie and Jasmine were born healthy, by C-section in June 2012, in the same maternity ward Zoe had given birth the previous year. 'I cried tears of bittersweet relief,' says Zoe. 'They twins are three now and have brought us so much joy.'

Zoe, who takes Charlie and Jasmine to visit their brother's grave twice a month, is passionate that other pregnant women don't needlessly suffer the same fate as she did. 'If something doesn't feel right trust your instincts and call your midwife,' says Zoe, whose grief, four years on, remains raw: 'Stanley will always be my child and I will always ache for him.'