I had two harrowing experiences in toilets that made me certain pushing gender-neutral loos on women is despicable. But the views of my bosses made me quit my council job
The sexual assault – sudden and menacing – had happened abroad in a unisex toilet at a restaurant more than three decades earlier.
It was buried, almost subliminally, in Sarah Holman’s memory, but the awful potential of it returned in a flashback last year.
Sarah, 56, married mum to a grown-up son and daughter, was then a middle manager with Bracknell Forest Council, Berkshire. She had gone to the previously female toilets on the ground floor of the council offices – a bank of cubicles off a narrow corridor with communal basins along it – only to discover a sign announcing they were now gender-neutral.
‘I was startled by the sign on the door that they were no longer for females only, but were now mixed toilets,’ she says. ‘Memories of being assaulted in one came flooding back.’ That ‘sudden, opportunistic’ incident occurred when she was 20, and on holiday with a friend.
‘I’d walked into the cubicle and a man followed me and stood in the doorway blocking me and gesturing with his hands that he wanted to have sex with me. I was cornered.
‘He lunged at me, putting his hands on me. I was too startled to fight back. He only stopped because another man walked past. I hadn’t given it much thought for 36 years, but knowing men would be sharing the toilets at work triggered an anxiety attack. I had palpitations. I could feel my thudding heart.
‘Back home, I woke in the middle of the night, my head whirring. I could not stop thinking about it. I couldn’t switch off. It was the first time I’d felt unsafe at work.’
This was just the start. Five months ago Sarah, who loved her job regenerating land for housing, felt compelled to resign from the council she had served diligently for 12 years, when her employer, under its ‘Trans and Non-Binary Policy’, effectively removed all single-sex toilets from its offices.
Sarah Holman was a manager with Bracknell Forest Council, Berkshire, but felt her fear about gender-neutral toilets was not taken seriously
Sarah, who believes that biological sex cannot be changed, felt harassed for her gender critical views.
Now she is taking the council to an employment tribunal – crowd-funding and dipping into her savings to pay legal fees which could rise to £50,000 – on grounds of discrimination against her and other staff who share her belief that women’s ‘dignity, privacy and safety’ are compromised if they are forced to share lavatories with biological males who have either transitioned, are thinking about doing so or are in the process of transitioning.
‘I feel exasperated, tired, undervalued, angry,’ she says, speaking with quiet conviction from the immaculate sitting room of her Berkshire home. ‘I’m not a radical feminist, just an ordinary woman with strong opinions and values. I stand up for what I believe and I would never do something unprincipled because it is easier.’
Her husband of 25 years and children support her; messages of solidarity have, she says, been overwhelming. She has raised thousands for her campaign and speaks for many when she says that women-only spaces like toilets should be inviolable.
‘Effectively all a male has to say is, “I’m going through gender reassignment” and they can have access to the women’s toilets.
‘This is really insulting to women. The council says it supports equality, diversity and inclusion, but actually its policy is misogynistic. By respecting trans rights it isn’t considering women’s rights at all.’
She has endured deeply upsetting experiences that give special validity to her views.
Aside from the sexual assault, in 2000 Sarah suffered a miscarriage at nine or ten weeks in a toilet cubicle at work.
Sarah, who believes that biological sex cannot be changed, is taking her former bosses to an industrial tribunal as she says she felt harassed for her views
There can be few experiences more harrowing and personal. Some 24 years and two successful pregnancies later her mind does not often turn to the ordeal until she begins to think about how much worse it would have been had it happened in a toilet shared by men.
‘I don’t think I’m special in any way. One in eight pregnancies ends in miscarriage, so I’m sure it has happened to other women at work,’ she stresses. She was working for another company at the time.
‘I remember how my stomach started to cramp. I rushed to the toilet and sat there for an hour, crying and in a lot of pain. Then I cleaned myself up and rushed straight out of the building to my doctor, and then to hospital.
‘It was very personal and distressing and I can imagine what it would be like for a woman walking out of a toilet cubicle after such an experience, having to wash herself in a row of sinks shared by men.
‘Because of our biological sex, women might take longer in the toilet than men. We have periods and they are intimate and personal. You don’t want to announce the fact to men. Only women understand.
‘Sometimes women use toilets as an escape from work. If you’ve had a bad day, you go there to gather yourself, have a cry if you need to. They are used as safe, female-only spaces. If you are forced to share them with men, your dignity and privacy is sacrificed.’
She raised her concerns with the head of human resources in January 2023, but was told a decision had already been taken: it was a fait accompli. ‘It was not about me,’ Sarah says. ‘I knew many other women were also concerned about safeguarding, privacy and dignity.’
For six months, she was able to use the single-sex staff toilets on other floors of the building.
Then in July 2023, with minimal discussion, the council rubber-stamped a policy allowing trans and non-binary employees to use whatever toilets they felt comfortable with throughout the offices.
Sarah was distraught: ‘There was no consultation, no EIA (an assessment of its wider impact); no legal advice was taken. A lot of women didn’t even know it had happened.’
Her objections were given short shrift by the council: ‘They said sharing toilets with males was no different from being in a lift or meeting with them. They were equating the intimacy of being in a toilet with getting in a lift. And I was told if people raised objections they would be directed to counselling. I was outraged, tearful.
‘I cried during a video meeting with a member of the HR team. I said, “I literally can’t share a toilet with a man” and she said she was really sorry I was upset. But again the answer was: did I need counselling?
‘This was not about being anti-trans. It was the lack of thought about women’s rights that made me so angry. I also pointed out that some religions do not permit men and women to share a toilet. The attitude seemed to be, “tough”.
‘The council said the risk of harm was low and staff would be held accountable for unacceptable behaviour. So if you challenged a male who had come into a female toilet, you would be liable to disciplinary action.’
A flurry of emails went back and forth, but Sarah was told the policy was set in stone. Meanwhile, she was also concerned that the Progress Pride flag was being used ‘disproportionately’ by the council.
‘It was being used as a screensaver, as background for online Teams meetings and flown outside the council offices long after national Pride month. To me they should have been treating everyone with respect and fairness rather than celebrating one group.
Her employer, under its ‘Trans and Non-Binary Policy’, effectively removed all single-sex toilets from its offices
‘It was just virtue signalling. I was concerned about the message of the flag and the fact that it made anyone who was gender critical uncomfortable.
‘I said, “What about other flags?” I was being slightly facetious, but I said, “What about a Menopause flag? A Suffragette flag? A Disability Awareness flag?” I fully support equality, diversity and inclusion, but I felt the Progress Pride flag was highly misogynistic because it values trans rights above women’s rights, and it was being overused.
‘And I questioned whether they had planning permission to fly it outside the council offices.’
The flag was taken down soon afterwards. Meanwhile, her anxiety was heightened because her elderly father, who had a heart condition, was diagnosed as terminally ill and she had become his main carer.
‘I sent an email to my boss and to the head of HR saying I believed the council was guilty of sex discrimination. I said I would be mainly working from home and would use the disabled toilet when I came into the office. I got no response.’
In June this year, by now ‘simmering with anger’ she finally handed in her notice after a letter was sent by council chiefs to all staff.
‘It said they were disappointed to have to take the Progress Pride flag down after a member of staff raised a complaint about it, but were determined to seek planning permission to fly it.
‘This was a clear message to women, especially gender critical women: “Don’t complain, don’t raise issues.” For me it was harassment and sex discrimination. At no point did I say anything that discriminated against another group. I was just raising concerns about how the council was acting.
‘It is really important that councils do not get away with gas-lighting women and brushing aside our concerns. This is happening at councils throughout the country.’
She regrets that everything could have been solved so easily: by providing toilet cubicles with wash basins within them; by giving due weight to all protected groups. But instead the council was ‘captured by ideology’.
‘I was sad to resign. I really enjoyed my job. I liked my colleagues. There was no question of my capability. I think I was very good at my job but I was prepared to sacrifice it for a principle I believed in.’
She has, she says, been deluged by supportive messages from staff who agree with her stance. The human rights charity Sex Matters has buoyed her with its backing. Solicitor Liz McGlone of Didlaw, acting for Sarah, says her case demonstrates ‘the need for employers to show balance in terms of its approach to inclusion and ensure that on endeavouring to include one minority group, it does not exclude any other, or employees who may hold different, but equally protected, views’.
Defending its use of the Progress Pride flag, Bracknell Forest Council’s chief executive Susan Halliwell states: ‘The flag includes stripes to represent the experiences of people of colour, as well as stripes to represent people who identify as transgender, gender nonconforming and/or undefined.
‘One of our values is Inclusive and, as such, it is appropriate for us to use the most inclusive pride flag so that everyone is represented, valued and heard.
‘The council is committed to creating a safe, inclusive and supportive work environment for all staff and visitors.
‘We take the safeguarding and wellbeing of our employees extremely seriously and have robust policies in place to promote equality and diversity. We continuously review and improve our practices to ensure every employee feels valued and supported and we maintain an environment of dignity, courtesy and respect.’
On its staff toilets, Ms Halliwell confirms: ‘We have single-sex toilets and an accessible toilet available on floors one to four, which are only available to staff. Additionally, the toilets on the ground floor are unisex.’
However, the council’s trans and non-binary policy states: ‘Staff who have notified their line manager that they are due to undergo, are undergoing or have undergone a process to reassign their gender can use the facilities (like toilets) they feel most comfortable using. We regularly review the provision of facilities to ensure they meet the needs of all staff groups.’
Sarah takes scant comfort from this. She believes in its efforts to include minorities, the one staff group the council has overlooked is women.
‘Councils all over the country are failing to take women’s concerns seriously,’ she says. ‘They feel equality, diversity and inclusion is all about allowing trans people into its single-sex spaces. But in their efforts to be inclusive, they are actually excluding women.’
To contribute to Sarah’s crowd justice campaign, go to: crowdjustice.com/case/sex-discrimination-by-local-authority
