DEAR JANE: I find my husband's celebrity crush DISGUSTING and it's making me question his preferences

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Dear Jane,

My husband and I are both 28 years old, we got married last year and are still very much in our honeymoon phase.

The other day, we went to see the new Gladiator movie at the cinema. Afterward, all I could talk about was how attractive Paul Mescal was in the movie.

My husband joked about being jealous of my crush, and so I told him that, of course, he is allowed to have a celebrity crush too — and I'm not allowed to be annoyed by it because there are many celebrities I'm attracted to.

He insisted at first that he wasn't attracted to anyone famous, but I pressed harder because everyone has a celebrity crush to some extent.

Eventually, he admitted he did have a crush on one celebrity, but that he was too embarrassed to say who. After this admission, I absolutely had to know who it was so I forced him to confess... Although now I wish I hadn't, because the truth has disturbed me.

My husband revealed that he is extremely attracted to Cher. At first, I laughed, and tried to clarify that he meant Cher when she was younger. But no. My husband is sexually attracted to the 78-year-old singer as she is today.

Something about this doesn't sit right with me. I'm not trying to be judgmental or ageist, but I find it disgusting that he is attracted to someone old enough to be his grandmother!

Dear Jane: I find my husband's celebrity crush DISGUSTING and it's making me question him. 

Not only this, Cher is 50 years old than I am. I'm now wondering if my husband is more attracted to older women than he is to me. If he thinks Cher is so hot, that means he is probably more interested in my mother - or even grandma - than he is in me.

I haven't voiced any of these concerns, as I don't want to offend him. But his confession has been on my mind ever since we spoke about our celebrity crushes.

Am I being judgmental? Should I tell my husband I find his celebrity crush disturbing, or try and move on?

From,

International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers' most burning issues in her agony aunt column

Crushed

Dear Crushed,

You ask if you are being judgmental, and the short answer is: yes. But that's not the real issue here. 

The issue appears to be that you are incapable of looking at a woman of a certain age and seeing that she can be strong, independent, wildly successful and... even gorgeous.

Perhaps I am being a little sensitive here, because - while I am not quite in Cher's age bracket - I am a woman in my fifties. 

But, honestly, I'm proud to be part of a generation of older women - like Cher -who are flipping the tables on aging and growing ever more beautiful and powerful. 

The very fact that your husband, at 28, recognizes a secure woman standing tall, regardless of age, is something to celebrate.

Also, older women and younger men are having a moment right now. 

Nicole Kidman stars in the new movie Babygirl, as a middle-aged CEO who has a sizzling hot affair with her twenty-something intern. 

Anne Hathaway recently starred as a single mother who fell in love with a twenty-something boy band member. 

You may not realize this at your tender age, but there is absolutely nothing sexier to men than a woman who is comfortable in her skin.

As a newly-single woman myself (who has explored some of the dating apps) I can tell you that my inbox is filled with messages from men in their twenties and thirties. 

I haven't dated any of them. But, when I ask why they're 'liking' someone far older, they all tell me they prefer older women - because such women typically know what they want and have more confidence in life (and in bed).

One look at Cher and you know she's still the badass she always was. She doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks about her, and she looks fantastic. Frankly, I think your husband has excellent taste. I urge you to put the judgment aside and be proud of him for recognizing that age is nothing but a number. 

Perhaps you should take a leaf out of Cher's book and become someone who exudes confidence, someone that does not get insecure about their boyfriend's celebrity crush. 

Dear Jane,

I just moved into my boyfriend's apartment and, despite being very happy together for over two years, we've run into some issues ever since the move.

He lives in a one-bedroom apartment in New York City and before I moved in, he paid the rent fully himself.

My boyfriend also makes almost double my salary, he's in finance and I'm a teacher.

When we discussed the idea of me moving in, we decided that we would split the rent so that he pays 60 percent and I pay 40 percent (which I thought was slightly unfair considering the massive disparity in our incomes, but I agreed nonetheless.)

However, more problems have continued to arise since I moved in.

He works late, so I usually buy our groceries or pick up dinner. I can't afford to pay for two people to eat on my pay check alone, but he always gets grumpy when I Venmo request him for half. He has mentioned in the past that he thinks it's fair for me to pay for those things because he always picks up the bill when we go out for dinner or grab drinks together.

Money is such an awkward topic to discuss, and I feel almost embarrassed to admit that I can't afford to go on this way.

Am I being unreasonable or unfair with my expectations for how we split our joint finances?

From,

Penny Pincher

Dear Penny Pincher,

They say the hardest things to talk about are sex, religion, and money. I'm going to add politics and mothers-in-law into the mix.

Money, in particular, can be an incredibly awkward and difficult subject to tackle with your loved one, as you are discovering.

Some might say it's your boyfriend's responsibility to pay when he takes you out for dinner or drinks, others think the financial burden should be equal.

Truthfully, I don't have the answer for you, but what I do know is that you have to figure it out together.

Sit down with a spreadsheet and write out what you earn and what your living costs are. Ask him to do the same. Work out a plan to live a life together where both of you are paying something that feels equitable rather than equal.

Even the most healthy relationships have disagreements over money, and how you navigate such disputes is a good test of compatibility. 

Relationships require compromise, and if someone isn't willing to make a compromise for the sake of the peace of the relationship, then that someone is probably not right for you.