Forget the JFK files, this is the real Kennedy family bombshell: MAUREEN CALLAHAN (who knows more about their twisted secrets than anyone) presages the death of Camelot
So this is what passes for a 'profile in courage' among Kennedys these days: sanctimoniously calling out an inconvenient cousin while ignoring all the sins of your lecherous father — plus your grandfather who lobotomized his own daughter.
And that's just for starters.
The day before her cousin Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s confirmation hearing to be our Health and Human Services Secretary, Camelot's would-be princess Caroline Kennedy did something generations of Kennedys have been raised not to do: she turned on one of her own.
Finally, this rotten family is cannibalizing itself.
Before we dive in, let me say: As someone who wrote the book on Kennedy cruelty, I thought I'd heard it all. Not so. Not by a longshot.
Caroline's son Jack Schlossberg, a 32-year-old under-employed man who posts videos of himself variously lip-syncing in the aisles of CVS and mocking a 'working-class' accent, posted this on Wednesday morning, hours before the confirmation hearing: 'I wish… everyone knew the story of what [RFK Jr.] did with my uncle John's corpse.'
'Uncle John' is JFK Jr., who in 1999 recklessly piloted a small plane into the Atlantic Ocean, killing himself, his 33-year-old wife Carolyn Bessette and her 34-year-old sister Lauren.
Schlossberg continued: '[RFK Jr.] stole it' — John Jr.'s mangled dead body, recovered after days underwater — 'or tried to, threatened not to give it back unless he got what he wanted… Unfortunately, the relatives who can confirm this true story are unwilling to come forward.'
The day before her cousin Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s confirmation hearing (pictured), Caroline Kennedy did something generations of Kennedys have been raised not to do: she turned on one of her own.
Jack Schlossberg (pictured) posted this on Wednesday morning, hours before the confirmation hearing: 'I wish… everyone knew the story of what [RFK Jr.] did with my uncle John's corpse.'
Wow. The rats are out, and they're all named Kennedy.
Should we believe Schlossberg? He has since deleted the post. Perhaps mommy was displeased.
In her Instagram speech, recorded and posted by Schlossberg on Tuesday, Caroline said: 'I've known Bobby my whole life. It's no surprise that he keeps birds of prey as pets, because Bobby himself is a predator.'
To be clear, I am no defender of RFK Jr. But for Caroline Kennedy to use the word 'predator' when her own father, as sitting US president, got a teenage White House intern named Mimi Alford drunk, led her into his wife's bedroom, then took her virginity within seconds — 'short of screaming,' Mimi later wrote in her memoir, 'I doubt I could have done anything to thwart his intentions' — is beyond belief.
'Predator', when Caroline's father then asked Mimi to administer oral sex to an aide while he watched.
When her beloved Uncle Ted was caught sexually assaulting a waitress in a DC restaurant, and decades before had left Mary Jo Kopechne, a 28-year-old campaign aide, to die a slow death at Chappaquiddick.
When her paternal grandfather Joe Sr. was known to rape his daughters' overnight guests at the family compound on Cape Cod and lobotomized his own young, beautiful daughter Rosemary to conceal his terrible secret — that he had likely been molesting her, too.
So spare us, Caroline. Spare us your faux moral outrage.
Spare us from any illusion that this dynasty hasn't, at long last, died.
Seriously, why now? Is Caroline's 11th-hour attempt to stop RFK Jr's appointment motivated by jealousy, perhaps, after her own failed prospects?
She helped get Barack Obama elected in 2008 for what — a do-little ambassadorship in Japan?
Oh, the slight she must have felt at that.
Remember, this was a woman hailed by the media as the Kennedy family intellectual — until, that is, she started giving interviews littered with 'likes' and 'you knows'.
Caroline Kennedy makes Kamala Harris seem a jousting wordsmith by comparison.
To my mind, Caroline is spineless and self-interested — someone who could have helped other women but didn't.
Like, say, RFK Jr's second wife Mary Richardson, who he tormented and who took her own life in 2012. Mary, who was left disconsolate after discovering Bobby's 'sex diaries' detailing the numerous affairs he'd had with other women.
In her Instagram speech, recorded and posted by Schlossberg, Caroline said: 'I've known Bobby my whole life. It's no surprise that he keeps birds of prey as pets, because Bobby himself is a predator.'
Caroline was a woman hailed by the media as the Kennedy family intellectual, until she started giving interviews littered with 'likes' and 'you knows'. (RFK Jr and his wife Cheryl Hines are pictured at his hearing Wednesday).
RFK Jr tormented his second wife Mary Richardson (pictured in 2009), who took her own life in 2012.
Mary, whose remains Bobby secretly exhumed from the Kennedy family plot and had reburied far away and alone.
But, like, you know… Caroline, like, didn't speak out about Bobby then.
Suddenly, now that Bobby's gone MAGA, he's a pressing concern — luring, per Caroline, 'his younger brothers and cousins… down the path of drug addiction.'
Please.
Addiction runs through the Kennedy bloodline. Caroline's grandfather Joe Sr. was a legendary bootlegger during Prohibition, so she should really un-clutch those pearls.
Not to mention her own father, who regularly took drugs — speed, mainly — administered by a quack known as 'Dr. Feelgood' while he was president of the United States.
'I don't care if it's horse piss,' JFK once said. 'It makes me feel good.'
But by all means, Caroline, keep lecturing us. Keep hectoring us from your luxury apartment, wearing your designer eyewear and concerned expressions. We're all riveted.
Here she is on Bobby's treatment of animals — again, alleged horrors that Caroline was happy to keep quiet about until now.
'He enjoyed showing off how he put baby chickens and mice in a blender' — were they alive or dead? That's a salient detail conveniently left out — 'to feed to his hawks. It was often a perverse scene of despair and violence.'
Let's talk about the despair that Carolyn and Lauren Bessette's mother, Ann Freeman, felt when Caroline's husband, Ed Schlossberg, bullied this poor woman days after she'd lost two of her three daughters in that 1999 plane crash.
It's documented, ironically, in RFK Jr's own diaries, which I have seen.
Caroline's own father regularly took drugs administered by a quack known as 'Dr. Feelgood' while he was president. 'I don't care if it's horse piss,' JFK once said. 'It makes me feel good.'
Let's talk about the despair that Carolyn (pictured) and Lauren Bessette's mother, Ann Freeman, felt when Caroline's husband, Ed Schlossberg, bullied this poor woman days after she'd lost two of her three daughters in that 1999 plane crash.
'All the Bessette family knows that Ed hated Carolyn,' Bobby wrote at the time. '[He] did everything in his power to make her life miserable… he bullied, bullied, bullied the shattered, grieving mother.'
So Caroline Kennedy can shove it.
As can her cousin, Maria Shriver, who took to Instagram on Tuesday to praise Caroline's 'courage' and then disabled the comments.
Courage, indeed.
Shriver, who stood by her ex-husband Arnold Schwarzenegger for years, helping him ascend to governor of California, despite his history of groping women. He even knocked up the maid!
You can pipe down, too, Maria.
These sad, sorry excuses for Kennedy women should take their leave. Just as Americans have increasingly abandoned the Kennedys.
A family that gathered to endorse Joe Biden — after that fateful debate, America left doubtless that the old man was senile and infirm — has zero moral or political sway left to offer.
Whether Bobby gets voted in or out doesn't really matter. The Kennedys have already lost.