Elle Macpherson reveals depths of her alcohol addiction in new memoir as she recalls drinking 'vodka every night'
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Elle Macpherson detailed the depths of her alcoholism and journey to sobriety in a powerful chapter of her memoir, elle: Life, Lessons & Learning to Trust Yourself.
While reflecting on getting clean, the 60-year-old Australian supermodel, who was dubbed 'The Body' at 25, revealed she frequently got black-out drunk and began drinking 'shots of vodka' after putting her sons Cy, 21, and Flynn Busson, 26, to bed.
'My life looked amazing to everybody. On the outside I was doing a beautiful job but, deep down inside, I was really struggling,' she wrote in her book.
Even after giving birth to her youngest child, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl recalled feeling consumed by the desire to drink a bottle of champagne that was gifted to her.
Despite receiving a warning from her two naturopaths that drinking too soon after giving birth would disrupt her hormones, Macpherson admitted that when left alone with Cy in her arms all she 'could think about was that bottle of champagne in the ice bucket.'
In order to navigate motherhood and her career, she turned to vodka to relax in the evenings as she desperately tried to maintain her perfect image to the public.
Elle Macpherson detailed the depths of her alcoholism and journey to sobriety in a powerful chapter of her memoir, elle: Life, Lessons & Learning to Trust Yourself; seen in July 2022
While reflecting on getting clean, the 60-year-old Australian supermodel revealed she frequently got black-out drunk and began drinking 'shots of vodka' after putting her sons Cy, 21, and Flynn Busson, 26, to bed
At the time, she was in a relationship with French financier Arpad 'Arki' Busson, who was often away during the week on business.
This left her in a difficult position as their son, Flynn, was 'very sick and was in and out of the hospital,' according to Page Six.
Despite considering going to rehab, she told Arki that she was fine.
Even after battling pneumonia after Cy's birth, she quickly went back to work, in an attempt to prove to Arki and herself that motherhood hadn't slowed her down.
'I loved spending time with Arki and … I wanted to prove to him I would be his partner in fun and business while being the mother of his sons,' she wrote. 'I would go out and drink, party and become sick again. It became a constant repeat: I was in a horrible downward spiral.'
Macpherson also wrote about experiencing scary blackouts.
'I would be talking to somebody and then I would forget what I was saying. They would look at my quizzically as if waiting for me to continue,' she wrote.
Still, she kept on turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism for her anxiety.
'Often I would drink after I put my children to bed. I would sit down by myself and have shots of vodka and then I’d write to-do lists and letters to my family. I would do he housework, listen to music until around 11 p.m., then go to bed and pass out,' she detailed.
She continued: 'I would get up in the morning, run six miles and have a coffee for breakfast... I would sick my fingers down my throat and make sure I vomited three times before I went to sleep. It was always three times.'
'My life looked amazing to everybody. On the outside I was doing a beautiful job but, deep down inside, I was really struggling,' she wrote in her book; seen in 2019
Despite struggling with her mental health and addiction, Macpherson recalled how people would tell her that she was 'was so organized.'
'I was really proud of that. I guess I had to be organized because I was drinking and I never wanted anyone to know,' the mother-of-two wrote. 'So I made sure the house was clean and tidy; I made sure I looked great and I made sure the children were perfect.'
Those closest to Macpherson, however, began to suspect something was wrong.
Her naturopaths were among the first to suggest rehab.
Macpherson also wrote about experiencing scary blackouts and what led her to go to rehab
The star was was famously dubbed 'The Body' at 25 (pictured in 1990)
Before agreeing to rehab, she insisted on spending the summer in Ibiza with her family, against her therapist's advice.
Although she managed not to drink for the first few weeks, things went south after she was unable to join Arki and their friends on a night out to a trendy club.
After putting her kids to bed, she decided to open a bottle of vodka.
Following a battle to get it open, she smashed off the glass top.
'I hurriedly poured myself a shot that could have been littered with shards of glass. And I drank it,' she wrote. 'I remember thinking, I love this feeling. I’d missed it, sooooo much.'
Last year, she celebrated 20 years of sobriety
At the time, her 'youngest son was only six months old' and her 'eldest was five and a half.'
Once in rehab at a facility in Arizona, Macpherson recalled feeling 'humiliated and angry' to be grouped with those struggling with anorexia due to her thinness.
Ultimately, she said the rehab was justified to classify her in that group as she realized she 'was somewhat controlling' with her diet.
While in rehab, she went by 'Mac' to keep a low profile and worried about being recognized.
Last year, she celebrated 20 years of sobriety.
Macpherson pictured with her son Cy Busson in 2022
The model seen with her son Flynn Busson in 2018
Previously, Macpherson stated that she's 'never regretted' cutting alcohol from her life.
'I stopped drinking in 2003 because I felt I couldn’t be fully present in my life, and it was a wonderful springboard of getting to know myself on a deeper level,' she told Body and Soul in 2023. 'Although it required discipline and persistence, the bottom line is you can’t be well and present in your life if you’re not present and well, and alcohol doesn’t really support that.'
She concluded: 'It’s very difficult to get to know yourself if you’re numbing yourself.'
Macpherson also insisted that she doesn't preach sobriety to others and is 'not interested in telling other people what to do' with their lives.
